By Zephyria Since when did I start enjoying such positive fantasies? I, Song Hyun-soo, who was once notorious for being a pessimist. No, this was closer to delusion than imagination. Yoon Joo-ho saying, ‘I’m sorry too’ with a shy face. Yoon Joo-ho, even if he died and was reborn a hundred times, such a thing would never happen.
The thought of following him out could not be realized anyway. The director and the investor were with Yoon Joo-ho. Yoon Joo-ho walked past right in front of the counter where Song Hyun-soo was standing, without even glancing at him.
His indifference made the tip of his nose sting.
He couldn’t understand his own emotions, which fluttered over such a trivial matter. He hadn’t lived a sheltered life, so why was he like this? He wasn’t like this with other people.
“Did you fight with the Crown Prince?”
“…What?”
“You two were always together, so happy, but now there’s a cold wind blowing.”
Her aunt gestured with her chin towards the door where Yoon Joo-ho had disappeared, raising her eyebrows.
Song Hyun-soo, surprised that Aunt at ‘Honey’s place’ had noticed the rift between him and Yoon Joo-ho, which no one else had noticed, defended himself in a barely audible voice.
“We weren’t always together.”
“When one leaves, the other always follows. My eyes don’t lie. Do you think I haven’t seen couples fall in love here while drinking?”
“Yes, yes?? I, fall in love… Aunt, what are you…”
“Well, you two aren’t exactly a man and woman, but it’s obvious one likes the other and the other follows. But why is he so cold now?”
Song Hyun-soo said sullenly, gripping a pen on the counter and drawing meaningless shapes on the notepad.
“Senior seems to like someone else more than me.”
“He’s not the type to change his mind often.”
“Joo-ho Sunbae?”
“Look at his personality. He’s the type who wouldn’t even glance at something if it doesn’t perfectly suit him. People like that don’t give their hearts away easily, but they’re also not fickle.”
It seemed to be true.
“Did you do something wrong, young man?”
“No!”
He denied it, jumping up, but in reality, he didn’t think it was all Yoon Joo-ho’s fault. After all, he wasn’t his lover or anything. He didn’t have the right to be angry like that.
“If not, then the Crown Prince must have done something wrong. Either way, one of you must have made a mistake. Or maybe you’re both stubborn.”
Yes, you are absolutely right.
After the director and the investor returned, the first round of drinks ended. Yoon Joo-ho, who had left with them, was nowhere to be seen. Song Hyun-soo was concerned but couldn’t ask anyone. He was swept along with the crowd and ended up grabbing his coat and bag. As he looked around for his manager, a sleek sedan pulled up and stopped in front of him.
It was one of Yoon Joo-ho’s cars, which had been parked in the basement of his mansion.
The driver’s side window rolled down, revealing Yoon Joo-ho’s face.
“Hyun-soo, are you coming with me?”
“It’s okay. My manager is here.”
“I heard that manager left already.”
“……”
It was clear Yoon Joo-ho himself had sent him away. Such a meticulous person.
Looking up at Song Hyun-soo, who was hesitating, he turned his face forward and said,
“Are you not going to see me again? If not, then get in.”
There were still people watching from in front of ‘Honey’s place,’ so instead of stubbornly asserting his pride, Song Hyun-soo got into the passenger seat. It was absolutely not because Yoon Joo-ho’s profile looked a little lonely.
The sedan pulled away as soon as Song Hyun-soo closed the passenger door.
Normally, Song Hyun-soo would have been excited to ride in this car. Like when he first rode in a 911, he would have looked around, touched everything, and asked questions. But now, he felt indifferent, as if even a private jet wouldn’t excite him, let alone a Bentley.
At the end of the alley, Yoon Joo-ho turned on his turn signal and checked to his left to merge onto the road. Glancing at his profile, Song Hyun-soo asked in a sullen tone,
“Why did you drive yourself today? It’s a workday.”
“To give you a ride.”
“……”
Did he think I’d be moved if he said that? He thought that sarcastically, but he didn’t actually feel bad.
“Really.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Right.”
Right? His unusually calm tone made him automatically turn his head towards him. Yoon Joo-ho, who seemed to be concentrating solely on driving, pretending not to notice, opened his mouth.
“When are you going to move your things?”
“My things?”
“You have to move them to my place, don’t you?”
Is this his strategy to pretend nothing happened? No, he might genuinely think nothing happened, let alone have a planned strategy.
“You can move your things slowly, but come to my place first. I’ll take you to Bogwang-dong, so just pack what you need immediately.”
“I don’t understand why you’re doing this, Senior.”
“A promise is a promise. I know you’re angry with me, but still, come to my place.”
“You said you were bothered by me.”
It felt like someone was digging into his heart with rough fingers, and just recalling that moment made him want to cry.
“That’s not it.”
“What’s not it? I heard it clearly with my own ears.”
“I said it’s not.”
“If it’s not, then explain it. You’re human, so talk to me so I can understand.”
He hadn’t intended to, but his voice was getting louder and his emotions were escalating. Song Hyun-soo bit his lip and turned his head to look out the window. Yoon Joo-ho also stared straight ahead in silence.
The car merged onto Gangbyeonbuk-ro and began to drive with the Han River on its left. The apartments in Seongsu-dong with Han River views passed by outside Song Hyun-soo’s passenger window. As Song Hyun-soo’s gaze absently swept over the scenery, tears finally welled up in his eyes.
“Do you like that you can control me so easily?”
“I think you have a big misunderstanding about yourself. You’ve never been under my control, and it’s not easy.”
“……”
“There are plenty of people I can make move with just a snap of my fingers.”
“Right. I suppose so.”
He nodded in agreement, then looked down at his lap and asked again,
“Then, is it fun because you can’t control me?”
“Song Hyun-soo.”
“I can’t figure you out, even when I know you. Meeting Yoon Joo-ho is really not easy.”
He laughed with a deflated sound and turned his head back to the car window.
Even if his methods weren’t gentle, there were undeniably tender moments. He would show such care, then suddenly throw words that pierced like a knife. He would seem to cherish me, then at another moment, treat me as if I were nothing. When I smiled back at his face, urging me to come closer, a glass wall would be erected in front of him.
And after exchanging such sharp words and fighting, today he tells me to come home as if nothing happened.
“Whether you like someone else or can’t forget them, I know you don’t have the right to be angry with me. But still, like that, as if I were wearing burning clothes…”
“It was like you were wearing burning clothes.”
“……”
“You were wearing burning clothes. Should I have just left you like that?”
“……”
“Do you really want to wear that?”
The trace of a previous person. Of course, he didn’t want to wear something like that. Song Hyun-soo shook his head. Feelings of resentment and hurt surged up.
“But you took it off so forcefully, as if it were so precious.”
“Yes, that was my mistake. But you know now that it’s not like that.”
“……”
His easy admission of fault was also different from Yoon Joo-ho’s usual behavior. So Song Hyun-soo nodded. He didn’t have the right to ask why he was still cherishing it, so he closed his mouth.
Yoon Joo-ho let out a sigh that sounded like relief and continued in a softer voice.
“You suddenly sent back what you received from me. I didn’t expect it, so I didn’t know what to do. Yes, at the time I received it, I honestly hadn’t overcome it yet. So I put it away and forgot about it. That’s all. Don’t read too much into it.”
The sedan turned right after passing the ecological forest on the left, then turned left again to enter Ttukseom-ro. After exiting Gangbyeonbuk-ro and driving a bit further, he pulled over near the wall of an apartment complex near Oksu Station.
Yoon Joo-ho took out a cigarette, put the filter in his mouth, and offered the open pack to Song Hyun-soo. Song Hyun-soo accepted a cigarette without refusal.
As Yoon Joo-ho inhaled and exhaled smoke thinly, he slightly rolled up the sleeves of his knit sweater, and then, something glinted in the darkness.
It was the watch Song Hyun-soo had gotten back from Cha Gyu-min.
The watch. He wore it.
Song Hyun-soo’s heart sank deeply.
In the silence, Yoon Joo-ho operated a button on the steering wheel and played music at a low volume.
“……”
It was a song from Song Hyun-soo’s playlist on the way to Myung Hae-ri’s.