By Zephyria Yoon Joo-ho puffed out his chest and shoulders and sighed.
“I gave you other clothes to wear. What’s the problem now?”
Yoon Joo-ho clearly didn’t deny that the t-shirt he had forcibly taken off Song Hyun-soo, along with the lip gloss, perfume, and sunglasses still in his walk-in closet, were traces of ‘that person.’ He seemed to think that giving him other clothes was enough.
A prince who says the most bizarre things sometimes.
Song Hyun-soo couldn’t help but strongly agree with Seohae.
“Whatever the reason, it’s me who’s feeling like an asshole because you’re being so difficult…”
“That me wearing it.”
Song Hyun-soo cut off Yoon Joo-ho’s words.
“Makes you feel that bad?”
He didn’t want to, but his voice trembled.
Yoon Joo-ho sighed again and ran his hand through his still-damp hair.
“Wear anything else. No, you can have anything you want from that walk-in closet. Even then, is that the problem?”
“Anything else is fine, but why is that one thing not okay?”
“…”
Yoon Joo-ho bit his lower lip. He parted his lips as if to say something, only to bite them shut again. It was as if he harbored unspoken words for someone.
In the end, he chose to shut down his emotions.
“Do I have to explain even that?”
“…”
“You came in here, washed up, and rolled around in my bed. Do you think we’re married or something?He was like a wild horse angered by being caged. Yoon Joo-ho couldn’t control himself. Turning halfway away from Song Hyun-soo, he ran a hand through his now-longer hair and muttered,
“So annoying.”
Just a few hours ago, he had been able to cup that face and kiss it as he pleased. But now, Song Hyun-soo’s lips parted as he gazed forlornly at the cold, impassive profile.
“Married? No way.”
“…”
“Surely I wouldn’t have such presumptuous thoughts.”
He left the bedroom at a brisk pace. He crossed the living room, passed through the hallway, and stepped out the front door without even properly putting on his shoes. As soon as he stepped into the elevator, he repeatedly pressed the close button. Foolish. Yoon Joo-ho wasn’t even chasing after him.
As the doors closed and the elevator began to move, tears finally fell.
The sensation of hands roughly tearing off Song Hyun-soo’s clothes, as if they were on fire, was vivid. It wasn’t the remaining t-shirt, but the touch of those hands, Yoon Joo-ho’s heart that still cherished it, that hurt.
” ‘As long as it’s not someone I know, that’s fine.’ ”
His bold declaration felt hollow. Bitter about his own irresponsible words, he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, a wry smile escaping his lips.
He hadn’t known the pain that came with staying by the side of someone who carried an unforgettable past. He hadn’t known the cruelty of a beloved person’s heart being shadowed by an indelible mark. He, in his past self, hadn’t truly understood.
He would feel like he had everything, but when he reached out to grasp it, Yoon Joo-ho would slip away like grains of sand. It felt like a brief, sweet dream. A moment too short to be called a daydream.
■■■
Perhaps because the crank-in date had been confirmed for a few weeks later, the script reading for
“Hyun-soo, I refilled your tea.”
Song Hyun-soo, who had been glancing at Yoon Joo-ho diagonally across from him, turned his head at the touch on his shoulder. Yoon Joo-ho’s assigned manager handed him a tumbler.
“Thank you, Director. I’ll enjoy it.”
“You’ll get a breather in the next scene, won’t you, Hyun-soo?”
Even during the break, Song Hyun-soo’s manager also lowered his voice to a whisper. Sipping the fragrant, warm tea, Song Hyun-soo merely nodded.
“The atmosphere is intense. I’ve been to many script readings, but it’s rare to feel such an overwhelming presence in a melodrama. Is it because the lead actors are all around the same age and push each other? They all seem to have a real fire in them.”
Even as he listened to his manager, Song Hyun-soo’s gaze kept searching for Yoon Joo-ho. Today’s reading required intense emotional immersion for him, so he seemed completely focused on the script.
“The next scene is a two-shot of Baek Kang and Lee Sol, right?”
“That’s right.”
“There’s a lot of talk about Yoon Joo-ho’s first film, but you don’t need to worry at all, do you? He seems like a different person from when he’s acting in dramas.”
Song Hyun-soo completely agreed with his manager’s words.
His vocalization was different from his drama acting. While his drama acting was like a smooth, seasoned technician with broad appeal, he was now clearly portraying the individuality of the character Baek Kang, making him seem like a real person.
And like Baek Kang in the script, he had a way of being rough and restrained, yet touching the depths of a person’s heart and drawing them into emotion.
” ‘You came in here, washed up, and rolled around in my bed. Do you think we’re married or something?’ ”
The current Yoon Joo-ho seemed like Baek Kang, the embodiment of pure love. To think he had said those words with that face. No one would believe it.
This was the first time he had seen Yoon Joo-ho in two days, since Song Hyun-soo had stormed out of his mansion.
Even Yoon Joo-ho, it seemed, didn’t want to practice the script as if nothing had happened in that state, so he had sent word through Director Bang that he would postpone his Wednesday part-time job.
But naturally, he wouldn’t miss the script reading. Today too, Yoon Joo-ho had arrived first, followed by Song Hyun-soo. Fortunately, PD Kim Yoo-kyung appeared to announce the confirmed crank-in date, so there was no time to feel awkward.
He and Yoon Joo-ho had not exchanged a single word, as if they had never met.
“Alright, everyone, let’s get ready. We’ll continue with Scene Number 107. Baek Kang’s house, dinner table. Dusk.”
With the assistant director’s announcement, the script reading for
Lee Sol, Lee San, Baek Kang, and Director Jeon Yu-jeong.
This was after the four of them had gathered at Baek Kang’s house for dinner at his invitation.
Baek Kang had subtly revealed his animosity towards Jeon Yu-jeong, emphasizing that he was still Lee Sol’s boyfriend. However, he maintained a polite and friendly tone on the surface, so Jeon Yu-jeong couldn’t confront him.
And Lee Sol couldn’t help but realize.
That Baek Kang had discovered her heart leaning towards Jeon Yu-jeong.
The lavish meal that Baek Kang had personally shopped for the day before and meticulously prepared all day long remained almost untouched on the table. After sending Lee San and Jeon Yu-jeong home, Lee Sol sat alone at the table and, after a long while, opened her mouth with a trembling voice.
“Baek Kang, what are you doing?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why did you deliberately invite Yu-jeong-ssi here? What did you want to achieve?”
“Since you and San are indebted to me, I wanted to treat you to a meal. Is that strange?”
Baek Kang, who had brewed two cups of coffee in mugs, placed one in front of Lee Sol.
“Like this… making me feel guilty, and cornering him. Are you enjoying it?”
Baek Kang, sitting opposite Lee Sol and drinking his coffee, flinched.
“You committed murder because of me and spent 8 years in prison, becoming a convict. How can you do this? Blame me instead!”
Lee Sol stood up abruptly from the table, and Baek Kang slowly put down his mug. He tried to smile, but it wasn’t easy.
“What did you do?”
“…”
“What did you do that I should blame you?”
Lee Sol couldn’t answer.
Baek Kang looked up at the standing Lee Sol.
“San said something. He said to marry you quickly.”
“…What?”
Yoon Joo-ho, or rather Baek Kang, who had taken his eyes off the script, looked at Lee Sol beside him and gave a pained smile.
In the script, Baek Kang rises from his seat and approaches Lee Sol.
“Don’t be so scared, Sol. That kind of thing… won’t happen.”
Baek Kang’s hand brushes down Lee Sol’s cheek. Lee Sol’s face stiffens. Baek Kang’s face contorts with sadness as he watches her reaction.
“You don’t even like me touching you anymore.”
His hand drops into the air, along with his gaze.
“I thought about it. Is it right to lose you without even fighting? But even if I fight and win against Jeon Yu-jeong, it won’t change your heart, will it?”
Baek Kang slowly raised his gaze to look at Lee Sol standing before him. His eyes held resignation. Though his decision was made, his heart still loved her, making his gaze pained.
“Just as no one could stop us from being drawn to each other… your heart is the same now.”
Everyone in the room held their breath. Song Hyun-soo’s eyes were fixed on Yoon Joo-ho. He couldn’t look away.
Yoon Joo-ho’s portrayal of love had changed.
Who had drawn such acting out of him? Who was he thinking of now?
Could Yoon Joo-ho also only watch as that person’s heart changed, dissolved? That was the most cruel form of ending Song Hyun-soo could imagine. Unconsciously, Song Hyun-soo gripped the thigh of his pants under the table. He hoped Yoon Joo-ho hadn’t experienced such pain.
“Sol, you don’t owe me anything.”
Baek Kang’s hand gently intertwines with Lee Sol’s fingers.
Her body, which had once been as natural to touch as his own.
“I did it all because I wanted to. You… you can go wherever you want, and be with whomever you want to be with.”
Lee Sol’s face crumbled with guilt, sorrow, pity, and self-hatred for becoming a traitor. Her fingers slowly slipped away from Baek Kang’s. Like sand slipping away the more he tried to grasp it.
The sound of footsteps running far away, putting on shoes and pushing open the front door.
And at the dinner table, only Baek Kang stands alone. Outside the window, the last sunset burns a dark red, like an ominous prophecy.
Song Hyun-soo found it unbearable.
■■■
Hummer. A fierce horse.