By Zephyria Emerging from the warm, humid bathroom, the drafty rooftop felt cool rather than cold for that moment. Wearing soft rabbit slippers and sweatpants over his briefs, Song Hyun-soo moved to his room, towel-drying his hair.
On the TV,
Yoon Joo-ho, faithfully by her side as she harbored an unrequited love for someone else.
She, seeking to forget the pain of heartbreak, offers Yoon Joo-ho a fling.
But on screen, Yoon Joo-ho refuses the chance to hold her.
‘I’m sorry. I… truly love you.’
‘Then you can save me from this feeling, can’t you? I’m in so much pain. I don’t know what to do with myself, I want to ruin myself.’
‘You fool, don’t you understand?’
‘No. As you say, I guess I’m just a fool.’
‘How can I sell my heart for such cheap comfort? I don’t just want you; I genuinely love you.’
Tears welled up in Yoon Joo-ho’s beautiful eyes as he held her shoulders, making them glisten.
Song Hyun-soo stopped in his tracks, watching Yoon Joo-ho act out a tale of pure love. The Yoon Joo-ho he knew could never say such words, and never would.
“If our needs don’t match, then there’s nothing we can do. I don’t hold onto those who leave, only welcome those who come.”
Because the real Yoon Joo-ho was the kind of guy who said things like that.
Nevertheless, the anguish on screen felt real. His heartfelt and steadfast portrayal of pure love had caused a huge sensation when it aired. The ‘Nation’s Younger Brother’ had thus cemented his place as the ‘Nation’s Boyfriend.’
Did he think of that person while acting? Was that why his performance was so convincing? The Yoon Joo-ho he knew and the Yoon Joo-ho on screen seemed like completely different twins.
Feeling a pain like a long needle piercing his left chest, Song Hyun-soo turned his gaze away. He stared almost fiercely at the corner under the clothes rack. With the towel draped around his neck, he crouched down and pulled out a box, hidden deep to avoid being seen.
He placed the box on the mattress, turned off the fluorescent light, and muted the TV. The TV screen served as his light source. He spread out a pre-prepared towel and knelt before the box. Song Hyun-soo’s expression was almost solemn.
The box contained several anal sex toys.
Plugs and dildos of various sizes and shapes, condoms of various sizes to match the different dildo sizes, finger condoms, and various types of lube.
He wasn’t really the type to masturbate using these kinds of tools. Even when he enjoyed himself with men, he didn’t prefer penetrative sex. He didn’t want to endure the troublesome cleanup for someone he didn’t love, and based on his experience, it didn’t seem worth the trouble.
“I want to fuck you.”
Yoon Joo-ho had pleaded like that, pressing his half-erect penis against Song Hyun-soo’s backside.
“I want to shove this into you, and pound it until you beg me to kill you.”
Just recalling the voice, cracked with arousal, whispering and begging in his ear, sent a brief shiver down his lower body.
After that day, he had ordered a plug for the first time.
Regardless of what Yoon Joo-ho thought, or what magical techniques he possessed, accepting that size absolutely required preparation.
Rummaging through the box, Song Hyun-soo picked up the thickest dildo. After his training so far, today he was finally going to attempt it.
An XXL-sized dildo that claimed to massage the prostate while vibrating and rotating.
The toy, a sleek black rod with a handle, was not bad in design.
The lifelike models, molded to resemble a penis with veins, looked grotesque, and he had no desire to put them in his cart. Compared to Yoon Joo-ho’s penis, which was not only thick and long but also beautiful, seeing those dark, bluish models in photos made him frown.
Woowooong, woowooong.
Song Hyun-soo tested the toy by pressing the remote. The smooth, soft body rotated 360 degrees with a low vibration.
Although thinner than Yoon Joo-ho’s penis, if it could expand this much, he felt he was ready.
He took off his pants completely, placed a pillow behind his back, and sat on the towel. He put on earphones and played a video he had saved on YouTube.
“Explosive Romance: Yoon Joo-ho’s Melodrama Acting Highlights Compilation”
It was a video edited by a fan, compiling only Yoon Joo-ho’s acting scenes. A 25-minute video where he could only see Yoon Joo-ho’s face and hear Yoon Joo-ho’s voice.
Ever since their first pseudo-relationship on his birthday, this video had become Song Hyun-soo’s masturbation material.
‘I’m not waiting for her.’
The first line that passed through his eardrums sent a thrilling jolt through his shoulders, as it always did.
Using a finger with a special condom on it, Song Hyun-soo began to explore his own nether regions. His anus, having been cleaned during his shower and generously coated with thick, transparent lube, felt softer than usual.
‘Waiting means it ends when the objective is achieved.’
Each syllable entered his ears clearly, yet the voice flowed smoothly.
“Hngh.”
Increasing the number of fingers, Song Hyun-soo squeezed his eyes shut.
“Your ears must be sensitive.”
Yoon Joo-ho’s low chuckle echoed in his memory, overlaying the voice of the acting Yoon Joo-ho.
“Don’t you want to be with me? Right here.”
Recalling his fingertips sensually rubbing around his anus. He felt his inner walls clench and cling to his fingers. It was proof he was feeling it properly. Did Yoon Joo-ho feel this sensation when he touched him here? Thinking that, he rubbed the outer part of his thighs against the blanket.
I want to. I’m doing this because I want to.
I don’t even really like anal sex normally.
“Mmm, it feels softer than last time.”
Because I’ve been touching myself like this alone.
He imagined his fingers slowly moving inside, pushing deeper. Caressing and stroking his inner walls, then revealing their true intent, thrusting in and out relentlessly.
“Haa, hoo. Ha… Hng.”
He slowly withdrew his fingers from his somewhat relaxed anus. His half-erect penis lay on his right hip. Although he had felt it when Yoon Joo-ho touched him, he hadn’t felt any arousal when he first did it alone, but now…
Song Hyun-soo’s hands trembled with arousal as he put a condom on the black dildo and applied lube. Yoon Joo-ho’s sweet whispers continued in his ears.
Song Hyun-soo brought the head of the dildo to his entrance. He felt his anus clench and release rhythmically. Following that rhythm, he pushed the head of the dildo in.
“You say you can’t with your mouth, but do you know?”
Recalling Yoon Joo-ho’s touch, gripping and rubbing my groin’s flesh, I bit my lower lip hard. The sticky friction sound that leaked between his palm and my inner thigh seemed to echo vividly.
“Here, like this… every time I rub it, water flows freely from down there.”
“Hngh, hng.”
Looking down with teary eyes, a thin liquid was indeed flowing from my glans. Deeper inside, the dildo was swallowed halfway.
I thought this would never go in.
The sensation was slowly growing stronger. I wanted to grab and shake his penis. My toes twitched.
It wasn’t even a moan or dirty talk, just a lewd sound. To get aroused and masturbate while listening to a normal person’s voice.
Was I becoming a considerable pervert? A sense of transgression kept trying to control the pleasure. Yet, I couldn’t stop the movement of pushing the dildo further inside.
This was supposed to be just training for expansion.
Now, I felt like I was developing a strange habit. Unable to climax without Yoon Joo-ho’s voice…
Thinking of Yoon Joo-ho while touching myself brought arousal, but what was inside me was silicone without warmth. I wanted Yoon Joo-ho himself, not this toy.
What would it feel like if Yoon Joo-ho were here?
What kind of sex would he have?
“Hooou, ugh. Hng.”
While stroking my irregularly heaving chest, I pushed the dildo further inside. It felt like I could get it all the way in with just a little more. Even though the electric blanket was on, I was naked without a blanket, yet sweat beaded on my chest and lower abdomen.
As I fumbled on the mattress for the container to pour more lube,
A faint, unfamiliar sound filtered through my earphones. Song Hyun-soo pulled one earphone out.
Someone was banging on the door as if to break it down.
Shit, what is it? Did the downstairs chicken delivery come to our place by mistake again? If it’s real this time, I’m just eating it myself.
I pulled out the dildo and roughly wiped my lower body with a towel. My penis shriveled instantly. I threw on a sweatshirt over my bare skin. Bang, bang. The slow but regular knocking on the door made me hastily pull on training pants without even putting on briefs. Without even putting on slippers, I stepped onto the cold floor and flung the door open.
My voice couldn’t possibly come out nicely.
“Who is it? Who’s banging on someone’s door at this hour…!”
“Me.”
“…”
I had clearly heard it, but I couldn’t believe it. No, I must have misheard. I had just been masturbating while listening to Yoon Joo-ho’s voice. Now, I was even hearing phantom voices.
“Me… Who?”
“It seems there’s someone else who can come to my house at this hour besides me.”
I don’t know about that, but there’s only one guy who talks such nonsense.
As if obeying a command that took over my brain, I stepped over the slippers by the entrance and opened the door.
Unbelievably, Yoon Joo-ho was standing there, under the falling snowflakes.