“I hated that you were a man, but there are good things about you being a man.”
“…Because of the baby?”
Seo Baek-han playfully raised his eyebrows and smiled as if he knew. How could he not? He had said so many times that he didn’t want to have children in “this marriage.”
“…Of course, he’ll tell me to get rid of it.”
His muttering voice was so low that it felt unfamiliar. Seo Baek-han has never had a Rut with anyone else yet. But it was clear that he had no intention of continuing this marriage forever.
He’s praising me now for doing well, but this relationship will end someday anyway. I don’t know who he has in mind as a remarriage partner or when that will be. But if he suddenly has a child with me while he’s planning to have children with someone else… How would Seo Baek-han react?
This would be a completely different issue than lying about taking the Switch or hiding the Imprinting. I had no idea how to explain it to him or what excuses to make.
“Ha, fuck.”
Joo Tae-hyun swore without realizing it and raised his hand to cover his eyes. I wish it could all just disappear… But even the faint light from the lamp visible through his fingers seemed to mock him, as if saying, “You know that’s not possible.”
* * *
“I hid the envelope in my pocket because I thought the guards in front would ask to see it.”
Cheon Seung-pil, smelling strongly of the wind, rushed in and dumped several pregnancy tests from both pockets of his jumper.
“I thought I was going to die of fear.”
“Ah, uh… Thanks.”
“I just grabbed one of each kind… But what happens if you’re really pregnant? Do you have a press conference or something? Like, ‘I’m not an Alpha, I’m an Omega,’ or something?”
“I don’t know. Baek-han hyung probably won’t like it, so maybe…”
Cheon Seung-pil seemed to understand the meaning of the omitted words and closed his mouth for a moment.
“Keep an eye out for people.”
Cheon Seung-pil, who had gotten up without saying anything, suddenly turned his head sharply and glared at Joo Tae-hyun.
“Hey. What does it matter what that Seo bastard thinks? You’re the one carrying the baby. Do you hate it?”
“Huh?”
It was rare. To be at a loss for words while talking to Cheon Seung-pil.
Interpreting Joo Tae-hyun’s hesitation, Cheon Seung-pil sighed deeply and stuck to the sliding door, faithfully playing the role of a gatekeeper.
“First of all, um… Congratulations. I don’t know if you’re pregnant or not. I should have said this first, but I was too surprised earlier.”
“…”
“I know it’s a baby that Seo Baek-han won’t welcome. But apart from that, I think it’s something to celebrate. You’re in trouble because of Seo Baek-han, but it’s not that you hate the baby itself, is it? Isn’t it?”
“…I don’t know yet, me either. I’m just confused.”
I felt awkward after hearing the congratulations, so I replied insincerely. Cheon Seung-pil turned his head away, saying I was being a jerk even when he was being nice, and Joo Tae-hyun quietly looked down at his flat stomach.
It could be something to celebrate…
Actually, I didn’t even expect congratulations. I just desperately wanted a word of comfort that it would be okay. It would have been even better if that person was Seo Baek-han, but I knew that was impossible. I just wanted to hear some vague reassurance from anyone that things would work out.
“Oh, right. I heard there’s a new pregnancy test for Alphas, so I bought that too.”
“For Alphas?”
“Yeah. If you measure the Alpha’s blood Pheromone when the partner is the same gender… What was it? Anyway, the pharmacist told me something, but I’m too stupid to understand. Check the instructions.”
Joo Tae-hyun examined the pregnancy tests that had been dumped on the bed. Maybe it was because they were for Shifters, or maybe it was because they were early tests, but most of them were blood reaction tests like blood sugar monitors.
“Are we doing it here?”
“Yeah, it only takes a little blood.”
“Okay. Let’s start.”
Cheon Seung-pil puffed up his upper arm as if he had received a great mission and paced around the hospital room door. I wonder if he knows how suspicious he looks with his face pressed against the small glass window in the sliding door. What if someone sees him passing by?
Joo Tae-hyun, feeling a little lighter thanks to Cheon Seung-pil’s nonsense, chuckled and picked up a test. He thought it was better to use the male Omega test than the Alpha test in this situation.
He was scanning the instructions on the case, but it wasn’t registering properly. His hands were as cold as ice, but he was sweating like rain, so he must be pretty nervous. He wanted to check the results quickly, but he also wanted to stay ignorant forever.
“Oh, hey. Suddenly doctors and nurses are walking around? What do you call this in Korean?”
“Rounds? How many people?”
“One doctor. Two nurses.”
“Hmm, I think it’s the on-call doctor. Did they go into Baek-han hyung’s room?”
“No. The room next to Seo Baek-han’s.”
“How many rooms away from us is that?”
“Uh, three?”
He checked the wall clock and it wasn’t the time for rounds. Is it because it’s a VIP ward? Anyway, the late-night rounds won’t take long, so people will be coming this way soon.
We should hurry because they might be annoying, saying that caregivers and visitors are not allowed.
Joo Tae-hyun wiped his palms on his pants and attached the enclosed disposable needle to the pen. It wasn’t difficult, even though his hand missed a few times.
After that, it was a piece of cake. He wiped his fingertip with an alcohol swab to disinfect it and pressed the button on the pen tip. Dark blood droplets, like those of someone with indigestion, welled up in the spot where the fine needle pierced. Joo Tae-hyun felt that even the color of the blood was ominous and carefully dropped a few drops onto the test strip.
“Oh, hey? Hey! Seo, Seo Baek-han came out.”
“Huh?”
“He’s standing in front of the door with the doctor, talking about something… Ah, wait. Shit, hey! He’s coming here!”
Joo Tae-hyun’s head snapped up and at the same time, Cheon Seung-pil, terrified, rushed towards him.
It was a fleeting moment.
Cheon Seung-pil, who was craning his neck to check the outside, and Joo Tae-hyun, who was blinking with the test strip in his hand, made eye contact.
Like operatives on a mission, the two exchanged a brief glance and, without either of them saying a word, began to gather all the unopened tests and stuff them under the pillow.
“Hey, but can I stay here? What if Seo Baek-han kills me? For saying ‘that Seo bastard’…”
“You came to Pyongyang without that kind of resolve-.”
Joo Tae-hyun’s movement, who was about to hide the test strip he was holding in his hand under the bedding again after checking it one more time, stopped abruptly.
“Hey!”
Cheon Seung-pil, who was about to scold him for what he was doing, couldn’t continue speaking and his face turned pale.
“Joo, Joo Tae-hyun, this…”
Belatedly, another faint red line had appeared on the test strip.
“…So, it was effective…”
The distance had narrowed so much that people’s voices could now be heard clearly. Joo Tae-hyun calmly reached out to hide the last test strip, but his outward appearance was the only thing that seemed normal. Only his expression was the same as usual, but he couldn’t hide the fact that his hands were trembling.
“Hey, lie down. First…”
Cheon Seung-pil, unable to watch any longer, stuffed the opened pregnancy test into his pocket and patted Joo Tae-hyun’s shoulder, telling him to lie down quickly. Then, he realized what kind of situation Joo Tae-hyun was in and hit his forehead hard.
“Ugh, shit. Sorry, I was in a hurry… I hope the baby’s not hurt because I pushed your shoulder a little?”
Cheon Seung-pil’s touch as he laid Joo Tae-hyun on the bed was very careful in his own way, but it was clumsy.
“Are you hurt anywhere? Because I hit you?”
“…It’s okay.”
The hospital room door opened when Cheon Seung-pil was fumbling around, trying to cover Joo Tae-hyun’s chest with the blanket that had fallen to his feet.
“But Director-“
“I don’t mind, …Cheon Seung-pil?”
“Ah, Baek-han hyung. Hello.”
Cheon Seung-pil, who was awkwardly bending over with his hand on Joo Tae-hyun’s chest, waved awkwardly. Then, he realized that this was Korea, not America, and quickly bowed his head. He was trying to be polite in his own way, but because he had forgotten what position he was in, he ended up creating a suspicious scene where he brought his forehead to Joo Tae-hyun’s chest.
“I didn’t hear that you were coming.”
Seo Baek-han’s gaze lightly swept over Cheon Seung-pil’s face, which was leaning over Joo Tae-hyun, the hand he had placed on Joo Tae-hyun’s chest, and the entire appearance of the two. Because he only shifted his gaze in a staccato manner without even moving his head, the atmosphere was colder than usual.
“Hospital security is a mess. Letting outsiders in without permission on the floor where the person who was attacked is hospitalized.”
“…I’m sorry, Director.”
The tone he used to the attending physician was playful, as if he was joking, but Seo Baek-han’s voice and eyes were more eerie than usual.
“Tae-hyun, you should have contacted the medical staff right away if you had come to your senses.”
Even so, Seo Baek-han was still staring intently at Cheon Seung-pil. All he was holding in his hand was a thin pole, but somehow it felt like a terrifying weapon.
“Tae-hyun just woke up. And Tae-hyun’s hyungs and sister called and asked me to take care of him until his family from Seoul or Pyongyang come tomorrow, so I asked in advance…”
Cheon Seung-pil awkwardly bent over and took a few steps back. At the same time, something like a pen rolled out of his jumper and fell to the ground.
It was the pregnancy test that he had stuffed in in a hurry a little while ago.