“Ugh…!”
But, how in the world…?
Joo Tae-hyun, his eyes half-glazed over, groped behind him. Going only backward, what exactly does that mean? Should he grab and spread it open? Or just poke and prod aimlessly? Or is there another way? Having never experienced proper sex, only clumsy masturbation where he grabbed and shook his own dick, Joo Tae-hyun awkwardly fumbled at his own buttocks.
It goes without saying, but he didn’t get the same stimulation as when he touched his dick. If there was anyone who got turned on by touching his own ass, that would be the ultimate pervert. Fortunately, Joo Tae-hyun, even though he had feelings for another Alpha, wasn’t that far gone. …He wanted to believe that.
“Your ass is smaller than I thought.”
The hallucination of Seo Baek-han brought on by the dirty switch dryly appraised Joo Tae-hyun’s body.
“It’s okay. Even if there’s no meat, the hole is narrow enough, and since you’re tall, it’ll be deep inside.”
And that was only natural. He was a man, and on the taller side compared to his peers. He hadn’t intentionally built muscle, but his natural frame itself was large. It wouldn’t look too bad to have a long body that narrowed from the shoulders to the waist in an inverted triangle, with round, plump buttocks attached, would it?
“So, can you even suck a finger, let alone someone else’s dick? Spread it wider.”
But the Seo Baek-han he had created said something different. He said that even a small, firm ass would be good to fuck, and asked him to show him how he spread his hole open with all his might. He was starting to doubt if such lewd fantasies were lurking in his subconscious.
“…Ha, ah.”
Sweat kept filling Joo Tae-hyun’s hands as he greedily clutched at his lean flesh, awkwardly spreading his rear. Every time his posture collapsed due to slipping, his butt cheeks jiggled slightly with the recoil, and even that trembling was dizzying. Just the feeling of wet flesh touching was enough to make the tip of his glans quiver, and without even feeling ashamed, pre-cum trickled out. It was almost embarrassing how there had been no reaction when he stroked and rubbed his shaft.
“Joo Tae-hyun.”
Listening intently to Seo Baek-han’s low voice, Joo Tae-hyun struggled to turn his head. He didn’t answer because he knew he wasn’t real. It was because he didn’t want to miss Seo Baek-han for even a moment. Whatever form he took, to Joo Tae-hyun, Seo Baek-han was Seo Baek-han.
“You want me to put it in, don’t you?”
Ah. Even if it was just imagination, even if it was fake, he wanted to imprint the image of his face teasing him directly into his eyes. If he were to hold him, he felt like he could do anything. Even if he was told to show his belly like a dog and act cute, even if he was told to mess up his rear with his hands. Truly anything…
“Hyung, um, just… just a little…”
And at that moment when Joo Tae-hyun had made up his mind, unbelievably, the thick fog that had settled in his head began to clear little by little.
“…Ah.”
Joo Tae-hyun, still bent low in a position that stretched his butt cheeks taut, slowly blinked his eyes. A stream of water that had flowed down from his wet bangs ran down his forehead, onto his eyelashes, to the tip of his chin, and then dripped onto the back of his hand that was touching the floor.
Staring blankly at the trajectory, Joo Tae-hyun belatedly realized that the drug’s effects had worn off. His lower body still throbbed and his breathing was still rough, but the urge to immediately shove something into his ass or do something about it quickly subsided as if it had never been there.
The inner walls, which had been thoroughly soaked with fluids as if carefully spread with a brush, and the fluttering asshole were now as dry as usual. He no longer felt any sensation in the area that had been stretched wide by being pulled taut with his fingertips.
The hallucination of Seo Baek-han calling his name and urging him to perform lewd acts, as well as the urge to stick something in his rear as he had encouraged, had disappeared without a trace.
Even as his reason returned as quickly as if he had been doused with ice water, Seo Baek-han’s voice, which had been pounding in his ears, was so vivid that he had a dumbfounded thought.
Maybe it could be real. Otherwise, it wouldn’t make sense for Seo Baek-han to give him such specific and explicit instructions.
But in the steamy shower booth, he was alone, slumped over in an unsightly state. Water droplets that had gathered on the ceiling fell onto Joo Tae-hyun’s back. As if telling him it was time to wake up from his dream, to come to his senses.
The short pleasure and hallucinations given by the cheap dirty Switch left nothing but disgust and nausea that made him want to tear his own body apart, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.
“Really, ah…”
Joo Tae-hyun swallowed every curse word he knew between his teeth as he staggered to his feet. Only the sticky stream of water flowing down his inner thighs told him that what had just happened wasn’t all a lie.
Anyway, that’s enough.
He had bought so many drugs that he wouldn’t need to order any more for a while, and seeing that the effects worked, it was clear that they weren’t fake, so even if Seo Baek-han suspected whether he was really taking Switch, he had an excuse to make.
By the way, it was supposed to last for about an hour, but is it normal to wake up this quickly? No, no. What does that matter? He wasn’t going to take it again anyway.
Joo Tae-hyun decided to stop imitating Seo Baek-han. Was he being too conscious of him? He kept trying to analyze and assess the situation from Seo Baek-han’s point of view.
Anyway, that’s enough. Never again… never again would he touch something like that.
Joo Tae-hyun roughly turned the faucet. His hand slipped a few times, causing him to bump into the fixture and slightly break the tip of his fingernail, but he didn’t care. He’d rather bleed. Than drip suspicious fluids from his ass.
Even if things worked out and he became closer to him than he was now, the ‘real Seo Baek-han’ had no interest in men anyway. For whatever reason, the day he would take Switch for him would never come, so it was fortunate if anything.
He never wanted to feel that kind of sensation again, where he was helplessly dragged by the hair into pleasure while barely retaining his sanity.
“Ugh…!”
Joo Tae-hyun covered his mouth at the sudden surge of nausea.
The unidentified, harmful drug he had voluntarily ingested had a terribly bitter aftertaste. What was so good about this feeling that people were so addicted to drugs? Even with his eyes closed, the voice of someone calling his name kept lingering in his ears, what was so good about these hallucinations…
* * *
And twenty-one years old, spring.
After several meetings since the end of last year, Seo Baek-han replied that he was positively considering Joo Tae-hyun’s proposal. Assemblyman Seo and Director Ahn had even contacted Joo Tae-hyun directly, so it was practically a done deal.
“You’re saying that you haven’t traded Switch additionally since you bought a large quantity before coming to Korea…”
Seo Baek-han carefully examined the test results that Joo Tae-hyun had handed him. Unlike him, who was sitting comfortably on the sofa, Joo Tae-hyun was stiff as if he had committed a crime. He could only hope that his face looked indifferent and sullen, as Seo Baek-han had praised him for several times.
“According to what’s written here, you’ve only touched the weaker stuff.”
Joo Tae-hyun felt sorry for Seo Baek-han, who was even muttering to himself as he concentrated, but he kept glancing at the thick file that he had been looking at right before meeting him. There was no particular explanation, but somehow it seemed to contain information about him. What was written there? Was there anything about Switch? And what kind of evaluation had Seo Baek-han made…
“With this level of reaction, it’s safe to say you’ve barely taken any. Even if we assume that the last time you touched it was a few months ago.”
Joo Tae-hyun bit his dry lips, recalling the dirty Switch he had recklessly shoved into his mouth right before booking his plane ticket to Korea.
“Yes, I only look for it when I need it, and I don’t like the strong stuff either. Since I buy it quietly and secretly from behind the scenes, there’s nowhere to ask and trust whether that Switch is real or not…….”
“Hmm.”
“I got test results from other hospitals besides Donghwa Hospital too.”
When he said that he was willing to get tested again at any hospital Hyung wanted, he felt the sharp air that had been taut around Seo Baek-han ease a little.
Fortunately, it seemed to be the right answer.
From the end of last year, when he had made a proposal that wasn’t quite a proposal to him, until now, Joo Tae-hyun had been doing his best to give an answer that satisfied Seo Baek-han.
At first, it was somewhat difficult to gauge his intentions, but now he was getting a little used to it. If this was growth, then it could be called growth, right? Joo Tae-hyun quietly felt proud, trying not to show it.
‘No, what’s so lacking in you that you keep trying to match up to Seo Baek-han! What’s missing in our baby!’
His family, especially Joo Yun-woo, who had directly exchanged words related to Seo Baek-han, pounded their chests, saying that what was so lacking in their precious youngest that he wanted to marry someone who was seven years older than him, and why was he trying to go in as the losing party, but in fact, Joo Tae-hyun was happy even with that.
Of course, since he had his own way of life, he couldn’t say that he enjoyed being the weaker party. But every time he saw Seo Baek-han being satisfied when he moved according to his intentions, every time he felt like he was putting together a puzzle piece by piece with him, the anxiety and tension of lying to Seo Baek-han gradually melted away.
Joo Tae-hyun was recently learning little by little that there was this kind of happiness, that this was what it felt like to be painful and sweet. A liar, daringly. Yes, daringly.
“I know you shouldn’t judge people by their appearance.”
Seo Baek-han put the thin booklet that Joo Tae-hyun had handed him on the table and smiled awkwardly.
“I still can’t quite believe that you prefer to be fucked by other Alphas.”
I didn’t know I still had this kind of prejudice, I need to fix it. Watching Seo Baek-han mutter to himself, Joo Tae-hyun couldn’t show any reaction.
That was because it was all a lie. The words that he had slept with a bodyguard a few times, that he took Switch whenever he needed it. He had never been fucked by another Alpha, let alone had any sexual experience at all, so what should he answer in this situation, and what kind of expression should he make to look even a little bit like someone who was skilled?
He didn’t know. As always, Joo Tae-hyun hardened his lips and averted his gaze diagonally.
“By the way, where should we get the honeymoon home? Would it be best to go back and forth between Seoul and Pyongyang?”
Was it fortunate? Whether Joo Tae-hyun’s preferences were not that important to Seo Baek-han, the topic of conversation quickly changed. He felt relieved, but also a little heartbroken. Wasn’t the expression ‘sweet and bittersweet’ used in times like this? Joo Tae-hyun made his own assumptions and did his best to match up to Seo Baek-han’s tune.
“No, wouldn’t that be too much of a hassle? I’ll go to Pyongyang.”