Stanford University.
He had definitely seen it in a book.
Just as Seo Baek-han said, it was a world-renowned school in the fields of Trait/Phenotype studies and biology. And, uh… where was that school again? The location, the location was…
America…
He couldn’t remember exactly which state in America it was right now, but anyway, Seo Baek-han was going to study in a faraway place that required a long plane ride, where the time difference was even reversed.
Joo Tae-hyun’s shoulders drooped without him realizing it.
He had expected to see Seo Baek-han again if he came to events like this in the future. He seemed to know a lot of people, and he seemed interested in various events.
Besides, what was it, that, the descendants of independence activists’ gathering? Anyway, he said he was thinking of creating that too. He even told him that he should definitely join, so he expected to see him often in the future because of that gathering.
But if he went all the way to America to study, how many years would it be before he could see him again? Even if he came back to Korea every vacation… it seemed like he would only be able to say hello once or twice a year.
“Do you know anyone over there?”
“I don’t know anyone directly, but the Korean community is so small. Everyone knows everyone through someone.”
“Yeah. So go there and try to control your temper, you rascal.”
“…Well, I’ll try.”
“I’m saying this because I’m a little worried that you don’t know how to bow down appropriately to people you don’t like.”
“Yes. I know who you have in mind. I’ll be careful.”
“…Why?”
Since this was a story he couldn’t guess at all, he cautiously interjected, and three pairs of eyes turned to Joo Tae-hyun. Joo Tae-hyun shrank back, wondering if he had butted in without realizing it, but he felt relieved seeing the expressions of his older brothers softening as they looked at him. And, Seo Baek-han. Seo Baek-han had an unreadable look on his face.
“Well, our baby doesn’t need to know yet.”
“What is it?”
“There’s someone Baek-han hyung hates veeery much, near the school he’s going to.”
“Really?”
“You’re treating Tae-hyun too much like a baby.”
“Hey, our baby is really a baby, okay?”
Was it just his imagination, or did they seem unwilling to reveal more intimate details?
Anyway, Joo Tae-hyun wanted to become friends with Seo Baek-han.
He wanted to hear about the lives of various people from his perspective, and he wanted to understand and feel things.
He wanted to steal a glimpse of his smile, which became even more vivid when he talked about something he really wanted to do, from this close.
Thinking that there wouldn’t be any more time like this, Joo Tae-hyun felt a little, no, very upset, but he tried not to show it. Seo Baek-han’s compliment, or rather, not-quite-a-compliment, that he was good at managing his expressions kept ringing in his ears.
After that, even while watching Seo Baek-han list his expectations for graduate school life, Joo Tae-hyun only nodded as if nothing was wrong.
“Your parents must be sad to send such an accomplished son so far away.”
“I’ll have to keep coming back during the semester anyway if there’s work to do, so…”
“Oh my, but don’t overdo it. Take it easy.”
“Yeah, Baek-han, you’re still young. But you’re already way ahead of your peers.”
Even so, Joo Guk-won and Joo Sang-woo patted Seo Baek-han’s shoulders with pleased expressions.
“Adults have high expectations for you. You know that, right?”
They told him to take it easy, but their expectations were high. It was a contradictory encouragement. But Seo Baek-han didn’t seem to mind, as if he heard it often. Judging by the way he playfully crinkled his eyes and smiled.
“I know. Thank you.”
No, he didn’t just not mind, but he even seemed like he would think there was something wrong with himself if he didn’t hear such things from people, a face that was so calm that it felt almost arrogant.
Joo Tae-hyun glanced down at the tailcoat he was wearing.
It was a custom-made suit that his parents had carefully chosen for him.
He heard that they were so busy with various things, but they had personally visited the tailor shop to choose the fabric. They had gone through dozens of fittings. Even when it was almost finished, they said it would be better to make some minor adjustments and repeatedly made it from scratch.
The older brothers who brought him to the concert today held his hand tightly the whole time. They constantly put snacks in his mouth as if taking care of a baby who would cry easily if he wasn’t distracted with food. They introduced Joo Tae-hyun to people on his behalf, explained Joo Tae-hyun’s shortcomings on his behalf, and asked for favors for Joo Tae-hyun’s future on his behalf. Even while briefly leaving their seats for important business, they worried about whether he could be alone, and they even kindly reassured him that he could ignore what other people said.
Joo Tae-hyun had never received the heavy requests and expectations that Joo Guk-won and Joo Sang-woo had given to Seo Baek-han, not even once.
“We’ll go first. Let’s see each other again next time, Baek-han.”
“Take care of your health while you study!”
“Yes, see you next time.”
Seo Baek-han bowed to his older brothers, then waved his hand at Joo Tae-hyun and mouthed something. Unfortunately, Joo Tae-hyun had never communicated with anyone in that way, so he couldn’t immediately read what he was whispering.
Hello?
It didn’t seem like that.
See you next time?
It didn’t seem like such a long sentence either…
While he was lost in thought and hesitating for a moment, he was suddenly grabbed by his older brothers. Seo Baek-han also turned his body slowly enough not to seem rude, so Joo Tae-hyun missed the timing to greet him forever.
“Oh my. Our youngest’s hands are so cold.”
“Cold? It’s hot…”
“Yeah. It’s a problem because your hands are cold even though it’s hot. And you’re sweating too.”
When he finally turned back, Seo Baek-han was already mingling with other people. So many people surrounded him that he could barely see Seo Baek-han’s head and brow bone. That was only possible because Seo Baek-han was so tall.
He should have asked for his phone number.
Even if he went to America, they could still exchange messages.
“…Hey, hyung. You know.”
“Yeah? What is it?”
“…Never mind.”
“Why, what is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Aish! Now I’m curious. What is it, tell me.”
“Do you happen to know Baek-han hyung’s phone number? Can you tell me?”
“…Huh? Seo Baek-han? Why?”
“I want to be… friends with Baek-han hyung.”
“…Friends? With Baek-han?”
Was this what it felt like to have a balloon pushed into his chest? He felt so anxious that it felt like it would burst at any moment, and he wanted to grab anyone and chatter about this feeling.
But Joo Tae-hyun himself didn’t know exactly what this feeling was, so it was frustrating.
Hyung, it’s ticklish around here in my chest. But it also feels like I’m being poked with something sharp. My whole inside is burning, like when I drink something hot all at once. I’m so frustrated, would I feel better if I ran fast?
…Even if he said that, his older brothers would just laugh and say he was cute.
So Joo Tae-hyun quietly controlled his facial muscles.
What aspect of him did Seo Baek-han praise earlier? It wasn’t easy to recall. What was my expression like? What kind of face did I want to show to others? He had never thought about such things before, so Joo Tae-hyun was deep in thought.
‘I hate things that are obvious and easy.’
First of all, one thing was certain: he wanted to be like Seo Baek-han. He wanted to become someone who had a firm purpose and knew how to shine on his own.