Hand?
Seo Baek-han just stared blankly, then chuckled as if he was dumbfounded.
“We should shake hands. It’s our first time meeting today, isn’t it?”
“Ah… I’m sorry.”
Only then did Joo Tae-hyun tentatively reach out and lightly grasp Seo Baek-han’s fingertips before letting go.
It was just a brief touch, but his hand was incredibly large, and his knuckles were thick, which startled him.
It was a very unfamiliar sensation for Joo Tae-hyun.
He had only ever heard exclamations from his family, his doctors, his tutors, and the people who worked at his house, saying how much he had grown, how tall and lanky he was… Joo Tae-hyun was slightly shocked.
The world is indeed wide, and, of course, there are many people bigger than me…
“And about your expression earlier, um. When I saw you walking around, you seemed a bit nervous.”
“I wasn’t?”
“Haha, really? Then let’s just say you weren’t.”
He retorted carelessly out of spite, but Seo Baek-han just laughed it off as if he didn’t care.
What is it? I thought there might be some problem since he said my face was something else… He was just teasing me.
Joo Tae-hyun was well aware of how stiff he had been acting today. His pronunciation was slurred, and he kept making irrelevant and absurd remarks. Not to mention the creaking facial muscles, like a loose, rusty cog. He thought Seo Baek-han was being sarcastic when he said he was good at managing his expression. He was worried about how strange he must have looked, but if it wasn’t that bad, then that was a relief.
“That kind of attitude is good, too.”
“…”
“I’m not kidding. I really mean it.”
Then, Seo Baek-han asked a passing eunuch if they had any sweet Sikhye (sweet rice drink) or cinnamon punch that a kid like him would like.
Thanks to the Hyungs who had filled him up with Illustrated Book snacks until he couldn’t even open his mouth, Joo Tae-hyun was so full that he could barely swallow another drop of water. However, he felt it would be rude to stop someone he had just met from showing him consideration, so he decided to remain silent for now.
“It’s obvious that you freeze up as soon as you open your mouth, but the funny thing is, I can’t really tell when you’re just standing still. You just look bored or sleepy.”
“…Isn’t that a bad thing?”
“What’s bad about people not being able to read your thoughts so easily?”
“That’s…”
Is that so…?
It was something he had never thought about before.
Joo Tae-hyun was a little shocked because he had never had a reason to think about it from that perspective. He thought that when he came to these kinds of events, he should act like his Hyungs or his older sister. Being moderately flexible and smiling appropriately. He thought that when he got older, he should show a dignified appearance like his father or mother.
But, it could be helpful to be armed with an Illustrated Book that prevents others from looking into you.
Looking back, Joo Tae-hyun wasn’t prepared in this area at all. He had only memorized the names and faces of the guests attending today and practiced his greetings. He had never thought about what aspects of himself he wanted to show or hide from others.
The world surrounding Joo Tae-hyun had been endlessly comfortable. Joo Tae-hyun had never dealt with someone who was hostile to him. He had never encountered someone who misunderstood him.
The medical staff, tutors, and people he occasionally met all agreed that the youngest young master was so innocent.
From Joo Tae-hyun’s perspective, it was only natural. Before he could even lie down and cry for something like other children, he could grasp everything he wanted with just a little reach.
So, there was rarely a reason for him to feel upset in the first place. There’s no reason to be upset when everyone is doing their best for me so that such a situation doesn’t arise.
Even if unexpected mistakes or accidents were to occur, would there be any room for pain when everyone around him, including his family, was shouting their love for him every day?
Living every moment surrounded by fluffy cushions, without a single hangnail-like wound, Joo Tae-hyun also had no reason to be sensitive or prickly towards others.
Effectively hiding my thoughts? Of course, I’ve never thought about it. Rather, he tried to express his intentions quickly, fearing that the nanny or butler would find it frustrating.
The world outside his family’s fence, which he stepped into for the first time, was more delicate than Joo Tae-hyun had imagined.
It seemed to be made of very rough and clumsy lines, but each line drawn had its own meaning.
“I mean, don’t think about it too seriously. Kids like you go home today and dig their own graves. Ah, next time I should smile more naturally, too. Then, next time, I’ll just be trembling like someone with a spasm in their mouth.”
Joo Tae-hyun flinched without realizing it, as it was exactly the same resolution he had secretly made inside.
“Haha. Am I right? But you can seem cold but feel kind, and you can always be smiling but seem endlessly difficult. In these kinds of situations, you just have to be in your most comfortable state, in your most confident form. It’s a battlefield.”
Joo Tae-hyun awkwardly touched the corners of his mouth. Is that so. Hearing it that way, it seemed right again.
Anyway, managing my expression… Hmm. When I get home, I should start by looking in the mirror.
“Excuse me. I’ve prepared Sikhye (sweet rice drink) and dried persimmon. I thought you enjoyed them earlier.”
A eunuch appeared with good timing and presented a small table. Joo Tae-hyun was flustered and stammered, “Ah, no, n-not me, b-but my, Hyungs, l-like it.”
“…Don’t laugh.”
“Puhaha.”
“I said don’t laugh.”
“No, a kid can like dried persimmon. What’s so embarrassing about that?”
Seo Baek-han picked up a slice of dried persimmon from the Dasik skewers (tea confection skewers) and gave it to him, saying that you have to eat a lot to grow a lot. Seeing the cream cheese studded with nuts oozing out, Joo Tae-hyun unknowingly drooled and happily accepted what he gave him.
“…Your Hyungs and older sister have really spoiled you.”
“Huh?”
“No, eat up.”
Brushing off the sugar powder on his lips, Joo Tae-hyun belatedly shook his head. After hearing about his Hyungs, he belatedly realized why Seo Baek-han might have spoken to him.
“…Did my Hyungs tell you to?”
“Tell me to what?”
“To go play with me since I was alone… Did my oldest Hyung send you?”
“No? Do I look like I’d obediently listen to something like that?”
“That’s… You don’t, actually.”
“Exactly.”
Even while saying that, Seo Baek-han stayed by Joo Tae-hyun’s side for quite a long time afterward.