By Zephyria 
“….”
Cute?
Me?
Joo Tae-hyun could only gape, his lips moving soundlessly at Seo Baek-han’s out-of-the-blue words that were so unlike him. No, it wasn’t just that they lacked context… the fact that he had uttered the word ‘cute’ was surreal. Especially when the subject was him.
“The way you furrow your brow when you’re pissed off is cute.”
Seo Baek-han, well aware of his bewildered state, rattled off the cute aspects of Joo Tae-hyun that only he seemed to notice. It was almost as if he wasn’t praising him, but teasing him.
“And it’s even more so when I see your old habits. Like shaking your head briefly and fixing your hair. It’s something you do when you have nothing to say or want to change the subject, but you don’t seem to realize it yourself.”
The brief moment he seemed embarrassed was just that, brief. Seo Baek-han, who had plopped down next to him, seemed utterly elated as he recited his personal observations. He wouldn’t be this excited even if he were having a long-awaited family reunion.
The way his expression looked a moment ago, the sensation of his jaw muscles moving, the way he casually fixed his hair… It was nonsense that even those who blindly trusted and followed Seo Baek-han would find hard to believe.
“…In that case, it seems like there’s even more of a problem, so let’s postpone your discharge a bit.”
Joo Tae-hyun said, glancing at the pheromone neutralizer that was glowing red. It wasn’t a suggestion or a request, but an uncommon command.
“A problem?”
“It doesn’t make sense that Hyung would so easily reveal his emotions, especially not to other people. Besides, isn’t your pulse racing like that because something’s wrong?”
Joo Tae-hyun felt inexplicably awkward and tilted his head away. Who was it that had offered the compliment of being ‘cute’ after all that hesitation? Since then, Seo Baek-han had been treating him like some tiny, palm-sized animal. His gaze, marveling at him for blinking and breathing well, was both burdensome and absurd. He could understand if he were small and skinny, but he was never one to be lacking in physique.
“It doesn’t seem like you act like this in front of other people, um.”
Then isn’t that even more of a problem?
After rattling off things that would be embarrassing even for those who were close, Seo Baek-han tried to reassure Joo Tae-hyun, saying it was nothing to worry about.
“I just don’t want to keep showing everyone what I look like in the hospital.”
“What’s wrong with an injured person being in the hospital?”
“Well, rumors have already started circulating.”
Rumors? He thought he was just making excuses, but judging from Seo Baek-han’s reaction, it seemed real.
“What? It’s not Hyung’s fault, so why would there be rumors?”
“If similar issues keep happening, if there’s a series of attacks like this, then the public will start to think there’s something wrong with me.”
It’s not about analyzing public sentiment, it’s just the fatigue that people inevitably feel. Even if they feel sorry for me, they don’t want to see any more news about ‘Seo Baek-han.’ The criticism that I’m acting carelessly so soon after being stabbed… well, it’s not entirely wrong.
Seo Baek-han calmly explained the justification for his discharge. Meanwhile, the pheromone neutralizer, which had been making a loud, steam-engine-like noise, gradually quieted down. As if to prove his words that his heart wouldn’t race unless it was about Joo Tae-hyun.
“…Okay, I understand.”
If he’s saying this much, it seems difficult to persuade him any further.
It’s not like my body is being ruined anyway, so why should I care? If he feels like he’s going to die after being discharged, he’ll come to me first and ask for some pheromones, that’s the kind of spiteful thought that crossed his mind, but-.
Even in this situation, Seo Baek-han’s sense of responsibility for his position was admirable. Unlike him, who had run away and lived with his eyes and ears closed to what was happening in the country, he was trying not to collapse even in this situation.
“You don’t have to look at me like that.”
“…Like what?”
“You’re looking at me like you pity me, and when you feel sorry for someone, you twitch here a few times.” Seo Baek-han tapped his finger near his brow. Did he have such a habit? And how did Seo Baek-han know that?
“Now that all I have left is my position, I have to preserve it well.”
“…Why do you say things like that?”
“It’s the truth. The moment I become a kite with a broken string, there’ll be a truckload of guys trying to trample me to death.”
Seo Baek-han got up, saying he couldn’t bear to see that.
“But since I’ve come all the way here.”
Seo Baek-han stretched and turned to look at Joo Tae-hyun.
“Shall we get something to eat?”
It was a refreshing invitation, devoid of the arrogance and assumption that Joo Tae-hyun would naturally follow his lead.
“….”
“I don’t plan on wandering around, let’s just grab something light to eat nearby. Or, should we just eat at the hospital cafeteria?”
Seo Baek-han glanced at his watch as if to say he didn’t want to take up too much time. His gestures indicated that the secretaries who would handle his discharge procedures would be arriving soon.
Joo Tae-hyun hesitated briefly before nodding. If he wouldn’t listen even if he tried to stop him, then being with him, his imprinting partner, even for a short while, would be helpful for his recovery.
There shouldn’t be any problem with extending that much kindness.
Above all, Joo Tae-hyun knew better than anyone the pain caused by the indifference and absence of an imprinting partner.
If only he had never imprinted on Seo Baek-han. If only he didn’t know that terrible, ecstatic, and desperate longing, he could have left him to do as he pleased and turned away.
“Let’s go outside instead. I don’t want to be photographed with Hyung anymore.”
Even though he was being unnecessarily sharp, Seo Baek-han only smiled gently, as if he understood perfectly.
\ \ *
Seo Baek-han confidently headed towards the back alley of the hospital, as if he had a place in mind from the start. It wasn’t seedy, but it wasn’t crowded either, just a moderately cheap diner. It was as if he had anticipated that he would feel comfortable in such a place, his movements were so swift.
“It seems like there won’t be many customers at this time since it’s a place that focuses more on delivery than before.”
“How did Hyung know that?”
“Well, it’s because this is Washington.”
Seo Baek-han’s gaze as he scanned the menu was utterly dry, but his voice was quite affectionate as he replied.
“It’s surprisingly interesting to watch the delivery orders pile up every time an incident breaks out. There are some things you realize when you see issues that don’t cause much of a stir in Korea, but are a big deal here.”
…Even trivial reasons that he would never have revealed in the past. Joo Tae-hyun buried his nose in the menu, unaccustomed to Seo Baek-han’s awkward but best-effort thoughtfulness.
He didn’t want to reveal his turbulent emotions, but the sudden surge of feelings in his heart wouldn’t subside easily. Only childish questions, like why he had been like that in the past when he knew how to treat him like this, kept popping up and disappearing.
The page of the menu that he had handed him as soon as he sat down was filled with Joo Tae-hyun’s favorite foods. It was clear that he had deliberately opened it to that page.
“Well, they don’t have any coffee you can drink. I wonder if they can customize it here too?”
He thought he was really okay when he abandoned everything and returned to Washington. He thought that the hatred, regret, and resentment had all disappeared, that his heart was empty.
Why is it that only after so much time has passed does he want to argue with Seo Baek-han again?
He had cried and screamed back then too. But at that time, he only wanted to escape the situation, he didn’t want to vent his anger on Seo Baek-han or hurt him in the same way.
But now…
He knows it’s absurd for him to be dredging up the past now, asking why he had said such things to him and the baby in his womb, but he’s genuinely curious, and… he wants to ask him like a crazy person why he knew so well what he liked but acted like such an asshole in the past….
“Ah, right. Tae-hyun.”
Joo Tae-hyun focused on choosing his food without replying. It felt like if he opened his mouth, the emotions that were crushed inside him would overflow.
“I’m going back to Korea soon.”
But he couldn’t help but look up at his words that followed.
“You’re right. It’s not a situation where I can leave my position for long, and Yi Hwang, no, Crown Prince, has been very understanding.”
Seo Baek-han playfully wiggled his eyebrows, called the waiter, and quickly rattled off the menu items. He hadn’t even told him what he had chosen, but he had already ordered it. But the fact that he had been thinking about the menu items that Seo Baek-han had ordered made him feel somehow bad.
Seo Baek-han chuckled softly as Joo Tae-hyun slammed the menu shut with a thud.
“Shouldn’t you have asked me first?”
“Ah…. Was I being too presumptuous? But I’ve eaten with you for so many years.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Okay, I’m sorry.”
I was a little excited, Seo Baek-han apologized readily and asked the server to take the menu away.
“Anyway, after I get discharged and things are settled, I’ll be going to Korea… Before I go, let’s go on a few dates, Hyung, with me. Tae-hyun.”