By Zephyria 
Joo Tae-hyun slowly crumbled, as if he had squeezed out every last bit of strength screaming. Just like the moment he had clutched his stomach and lost his mind.
His thin hand, which had been precariously holding onto the bed rail, soon dropped to the cold floor with a thud.
Joo Tae-hyun cried silently like that, all the while.
Seo Baek-han was overwhelmed by his tears and couldn’t move a muscle. He had felt a strange thrill at the first transgression of his life, but only for a moment. He had never imagined that his impulse itself would be the wrong answer for Joo Tae-hyun.
“…Joo Tae-hyun.”
“……”
“Tae-hyun, you’ll hurt your body more if you keep this up.”
He couldn’t keep the patient sitting on the cold floor, so he tried to support him, but Joo Tae-hyun’s hand, pushing Seo Baek-han away, was cold.
“I-.”
“Don’t say anything, sniff, please.”
Joo Tae-hyun wiped his face, soaked with tears, saying he didn’t want to hear any apologies or excuses, and not to mention the child with his mouth.
Joo Tae-hyun had never mentioned the dead child even once. Not just in front of him, but he knew that he hadn’t asked the medical staff at all.
Was that all? He didn’t cry, and he didn’t particularly show that he was having a hard time. Rather, he seemed busy figuring out how to end his relationship with him.
Joo Tae-hyun calmly checked his condition and wondered how pheromone communication would proceed in the future.
So he just thought he was okay. He thought Joo Tae-hyun didn’t seem to be buried in sadness, and that he had shaken it off well and quickly recovered. He even thought it would be better if he only questioned his relationship with him.
Joo Tae-hyun himself didn’t even know that his insides were all torn up.
It was clearly his fault, and a misjudgment. How could a person be so indifferent after experiencing both pregnancy and miscarriage?
“…I’m sorry.”
Sorry. It was a word that felt particularly awkward once he pronounced it out loud. Seo Baek-han gently touched Joo Tae-hyun’s shoulder, savoring the word ‘sorry’ that rustled and rolled around in his mouth.
Come to think of it, he thought this was the first time he had properly mentioned the dead child. He had mentioned the miscarriage to check Joo Tae-hyun’s physical condition, but he had never focused solely on the ‘child’ itself and had a conversation with Joo Tae-hyun.
“I’m sorry about the child. …Sincerely.”
“……”
“I’m also sorry for letting things slip in front of the reporters without understanding your feelings -.”
“Sorry?”
Joo Tae-hyun, who had muttered ‘sorry’ a few times under his breath, scoffed. The derisive laughter soon turned into a loud laugh. It was a laugh worse than crying.
“Don’t stay in the cold like that, get up and get angry, even if you’re going to be angry.”
“…It’s okay, just get out.”
It was the most polite apology Seo Baek-han had ever given in his life. But was he still not satisfied with that?
No. Rather, it was like he was dumbfounded, like someone who had heard a word that was inappropriate for the situation. Like he had chosen the wrong answer again.
At this point, Seo Baek-han was also embarrassed. The argument with Kang Bu-nam in front of the camera… yes, Joo Tae-hyun might not have liked it.
He would be the only one to bear the risk because of this incident. Joo Kyung-han was also not satisfied. However, after hearing Joo Tae-hyun’s feelings that it was terrible for the child’s story to be talked about again, he could fully understand that as well.
So he apologized for being sorry, and he just wanted to have a conversation so that he could relieve the pent-up resentment in his heart… Joo Tae-hyun’s reaction was unusual. He acted like he had lost it even more than when he had denied the news of his pregnancy.
“Get out!”
He grabbed Joo Tae-hyun, who was swaying dangerously like a willow branch. He held him tightly in his arms as he shuddered as if he was disgusted by his touch, and silently endured Joo Tae-hyun’s struggles, who was wildly cursing his shoulders and back. Unfortunately, this also didn’t hurt at all.
“I know you’re upset, but the worse your condition is, the more I need to be by your side.”
“Just seeing your face makes me sick… Get out, get out.”
Seo Baek-han knew better than anyone how much power an imprinted partner’s pheromones had. Just by basking in Joo Tae-hyun’s pheromones, new flesh would grow in an instant and he would be fine in no time.
“Okay. But you have to get better first before you can do anything.”
“……”
“Let’s recover first and then think about it.”
As he carefully reached out to hug him and move him onto the bed, Joo Tae-hyun’s limbs limply stretched out. It seemed like he had run out of energy rather than agreeing with Seo Baek-han’s persuasion.
“Doctor Woo said that the more contact area, the better, so please bear with it, even if it’s uncomfortable.”
Seo Baek-han sat on the bed and took a position. He hugged Joo Tae-hyun tightly from behind so that he could lean against him and focused on his fluctuating pheromones.
His thin back, touching his chest, rose and fell unsteadily.
“By the way, you’re too thin, Tae-hyun.”
His tongue, which always rolled smoothly as if oiled, was not working well today. Had he ever been so embarrassed in front of Joo Tae-hyun? Only unexpected responses kept coming back from him, so proper conversation was out of the question, and only superficial questions continued. Empty stories that had no meaning at all.
However, it was also true that he was newly surprised by Joo Tae-hyun’s condition.
To exaggerate a little, it seemed like he could lift Joo Tae-hyun with one hand now. To think that a man in his prime, who was not much different in height from him, would feel so light. Seo Baek-han clicked his tongue inwardly and grabbed Joo Tae-hyun again, who was trying to flow down like water.
“The numerical trend itself is not bad.”
“…Hyung.”
He put aside the topic that had scratched Joo Tae-hyun’s insides and tried to distract his attention with another story. But Joo Tae-hyun’s voice, calling him as if he was embarrassed, was somehow unusual.
“What’s wrong, are you sick somewhere?”
Joo Tae-hyun tried to control his breathing while blocking his mouth. He wondered if he was hyperventilating, but it didn’t seem like it. The reaction speed of his hands and feet was also fine.
“Do you want to throw up?”
“……”
“Let’s go to the bathroom. Or you can just throw up here.”
“…That’s not it, Hyung.”
It was a voice as precarious as a candle in the wind. Following him, Joo Tae-hyun’s pheromones also surged greatly. Even if Kim Seung-jun was here, he would have been in such a pitiful state that he would have done anything he could right away.
“Please, call Doctor Woo.”
He was going to do that anyway, so he slowly laid Joo Tae-hyun down. He laid him on his side in case he might vomit, and once again urged him.
“Don’t hold back and just throw up.”
“……”
“If you feel dizzy or notice any minor changes, tell me immediately.”
He looked up at him with empty eyes. Dropping tears like a habit on his desolate face like ruins.
“That’s okay, but please do the imprinting test again… No, please do my pheromone test again first.”
“Where are you uncomfortable?”
If he was the first to request it, and even specifically pointed out the pheromone test… it seemed like his condition was much worse than he thought. Seo Baek-han calmly pressed the call button, trying not to show any signs of impatience. He could make the patient anxious if he was careless.
“The more details you explain about where it hurts, the better.”
Seo Baek-han calmly recited examples of pheromone shock. His vision kept flashing, his fingertips and toes were tingling as if they were electrified, or he felt a fever all over his body…
However, Joo Tae-hyun remained silent. With a pale face, he averted his gaze as if he didn’t want to talk to him.
“If it’s a problem with your traits, it would be helpful for me to explain it directly to Doctor Woo to understand the situation. That’s why I’m asking -.”
“…No, nothing.”
Joo Tae-hyun mumbled, dropping thick tears like a person whose tear glands were broken.
“I don’t feel anything anymore.”
“Even if I hold your hand like this? You still don’t feel anything?”
Did he have some kind of paralysis, that would be quite serious…
He pressed the call button again and wiped the corners of his eyes, which were filled with moisture. He checked the condition of his eyeballs and poked here and there to check the reaction of his peripheral nerves, but it was normal.
“No nausea?”
“It’s not that, I can’t feel Hyung’s pheromones.”
“Ah, you may not be able to smell temporarily. But as you know, pheromones are not only transmitted through scent -.”
“No. It’s like I’ve become a beta, I can’t feel anything even when I’m touching Hyung.”
“…What?”