By Zephyria 
If only I had known… I should have just eaten that steamed bun back then. The look of pity in the supermarket Mister’s eyes flashed through my mind.
Eun-myeong couldn’t stand the embarrassment of others staring at him. While most people ignored him or pretended not to see him, there were still those who occasionally cast glances of sympathy.
‘Hi, you’re so pretty.’
There were college Hyungs and Noonas who often came to the orphanage to volunteer. Whenever that happened, Eun-myeong would hide behind a wall, overcome with shyness. Yet, he would secretly peek his face out of the window to watch the Hyungs and Noonas playing with the other children.
He wanted to go and play with them, to slide his hand into theirs. But he couldn’t find the courage. The Director had always taught him that those born with nothing should not be greedy.
Eun-myeong was frequently scolded for being particularly gluttonous. Whenever delicious treats were donated to the orphanage, Eun-myeong would stare at them incessantly, unable to resist the saliva pooling in his mouth.
Even though that was the extent of the desire he could express, the Director would slap the back of his head, saying he hated seeing an orphan brat act so greedy.
‘A parentless thing, and all you’ve learned is greed.’
That was how he would scold him.
Still, that steamed bun the supermarket Mister gave me… I should have tried at least one. And I should have thanked him. I should have bought him some orange juice. That would have been enough. Eun-myeong rubbed his eyes with his fist. The lighter gripped tightly in his hand scratched his cheek.
At the end of his drifting thoughts, Eun-myeong anchored on the worry of what would happen if the Boss suspected he had run away.
The Boss…
He was a truly terrifying man. Ten out of ten people who had seen him even once would surely nod in agreement.
It was his appearance and aura, but more accurately, it was because he was a real gangster who actually did things ordinary people couldn’t even imagine. There were likely many things he did that Eun-myeong didn’t even know about.
And yet.
He really was a bad person.
Nevertheless, if it weren’t for the Boss, Eun-myeong would have gone his whole life without knowing the good or delicious things in this world.
I should have properly thanked him at least once. Even if he was scary, even if he made me tremble, I should have honestly told him I was grateful… Eun-myeong curled his body up. The loneliness had been too long. He needed warmth so desperately.
As he flicked the wheel of the lighter, a small flame flickered like a final spark. It seemed to be burning through the last of the gas. Eun-myeong whispered a wish into it. With all his heart.
Please, I wish someone would open that door and come to me…
Despite his desperate prayer, the surroundings remained silent. Eun-myeong was soaked in a familiar sense of defeat. A self-mocking smile touched his lips, as if saying, of course this is how it ends.
It was then. The boat lurched violently. The rolling waves seemed to slightly shake his hazy consciousness.
His expectations had already been crushed several times. Just as he was thinking the disheartening thought that perhaps the wind had simply blown hard again, he heard a presence above. The sound of shoes, step, step, echoed.
“He… here…”
He hadn’t misheard. Eun-myeong’s half-closed eyes snapped open.
“I’m here!!”
Squeezing out his last bit of strength, he screamed to let them know someone was here. Soon, thump, thump! a sound like something striking right above his head echoed, and the darkness that had been suppressing his body began to recede.
Light. Eun-myeong’s face was drenched in light. It was as if someone had actually granted the wish he made on the lighter flame.
“…….”
However, it wasn’t the light of a clear day—not the kind of bright, pleasant sunlight that makes laundry dry crisp.
A gloomy, pale moonlight poured down over Eun-myeong’s face.
And standing against it was a large man. He lowered his thick arms toward Eun-myeong.
“Come to me.”
As always, the command was short and blunt. A voice so cold it carried no warmth whatsoever.
Even so, Eun-myeong couldn’t resist. His body moved on its own. His forearms pulled painfully from climbing the ladder, but that didn’t matter.
To escape this darkness quickly, to touch another person’s warmth, Eun-myeong voluntarily reached his arms up.
Eun-myeong wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. The man’s large hand firmly gripped Eun-myeong under the armpits. With a sudden pull, Eun-myeong was hoisted up.
The man lifted him up with effortless ease. In an instant, Eun-myeong’s chest pressed against the man. Warmth touched his chilled skin. A light rain pattered over his head; the rain seemed to have thinned out by now.
Eun-myeong parted his lips slightly at the sudden surge of euphoria. Over the man’s shoulder, he could see the night sea receding.
“I thought… I thought it was a dream.”
He really thought he was dreaming.
They say when a person falls into a sea that is too deep, they see hallucinations. A cave in the dark, pitch-black depths of the ocean. He had thought that perhaps he was dreaming because he was so lonely and scared.
Just as he had been until a moment ago. He thought he had seen a phantom because he wanted it so badly—wanted someone to come so he wouldn’t be scared or lonely in this darkness anymore.
“…It wasn’t.”
A wave of relief filled his chest. Eun-myeong clung desperately to the human warmth. His chest heaved violently. Sobbing sounds broke out in rapid succession. Held in the man’s arms, Eun-myeong was carried across the beach.
The man’s car was parked roughly by the shore. Bear stepped out from the driver’s seat and opened the rear door. The man climbed in as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“You look like a filthy dog.”
The man clicked his tongue. Eun-myeong was a complete mess. He looked as if he had been picked up as a stray dog from somewhere. His hair was a disaster, and his clothes were filthy from rolling in the mud.
“Hm? You dirty thing.”
The man slowly slid his arm away from Eun-myeong’s waist. As soon as he pulled back, Eun-myeong’s eyes widened.
“Why…”
With a sorrowful face, asking why he was pushing him away, he quickly clung to him again. He rubbed his dirty cheek against the man’s chest.
“I thought it was a dream, I thought no one was coming…”
Tear stains smeared all over the black shirt. The man’s chest became damp and clung to his skin. A luxury shirt costing five hundred dollars a piece was becoming a rag.
Look at this. The man tilted his head. A strange glint appeared in his void-like black eyes. A peculiar pleasure rose slowly, like a viscous swamp, shimmering in his gaze.
‘Hmm.’
He’s filthy as a dog…
But it was more gratifying than expected.
“I told you not to whine like a baby.”
The man took off his jacket with one hand and draped it over Eun-myeong. Supporting him under the buttocks, he lifted him up and stepped out of the car. The body in contact with him was burning with fever. His rounded shoulders were trembling, and his teeth were chattering. The man strode forward and entered the hotel.
“Call a doctor.”
After instructing Bear, the man tried to lay the body in his arms on the bed, but Eun-myeong reacted convulsively and clung to him.
“N-no, I don’t want to, I don’t want to.”
The man shifted his gaze downward to look at the young thing before him. The white face was flushed red, looking as if it would pop at a single touch, and reddish heat rashes had bloomed on his neck like burn marks.
“Where are you going?”
The question was quiet, but there was something heartbreaking about it. His face was filled with the fear of being abandoned again. Usually, he couldn’t even meet the man’s eyes. He was a boy who used to count grains of rice while eating for fear of getting indigestion because he was so scared.
He seemed completely unable to reason. It was because he had been stuck in a dark, cold, narrow place for nearly two days.
“N-no, please don’t go.”
Eun-myeong buried his nose in the man’s jacket. Snot ran down and pooled on his narrow philtrum. He still looked utterly filthy.
The man was unusually fastidious, yet he simply looked down at Eun-myeong. Instead, a sinister smile played on his lips.
To act so much like a calf that had lost its mother’s milk.
It was the most vulnerable part of a weak creature, manifested unconsciously. The man felt a thrilling pleasure from it. A stimulation close to euphoria flashed through his mind like a bolt of lightning.
And so, he wanted to uncover this small thing further and see what else was contained inside. Purely for his own interest. It would surely provide him with distinct amusement.
The man crafted his voice to sound as kind as possible.
“Were you scared?”