DS 35

Moonlight

In the dead of night, when everyone was asleep, Eun-myeong stealthily approached the night sea. He scanned his surroundings quickly. His thin hair fluttered wildly in the wind.

Eun-myeong was anxious, like someone being chased. Fear seemed poised to overflow from his moist, glistening eyes.

If he actually got caught by the man…

Thump. Eun-myeong’s feet came to a halt on the white sandy beach. He would truly be crushed beyond recognition. He recalled the man eating LA galbi.

How could he strip away only the meat the moment it entered his mouth? He would end up just like that. He would be stripped of his flesh, leaving not even a bone behind.

‘You know, right, fucker? It’s either you or your noona.’

Just as he wondered if it would be better to turn back, Jjangja’s voice embedded itself in his mind like a stone.

‘Try defying me one more time, and I’ll seriously beat the shit out of you.’

Jjangja was the type to follow through. He was especially unrestrained when it came to violence. If he didn’t take it, Jjangja would beat him to death; if he got caught doing this, the Boss would give him a hell of a time.

Why were these the only options he had? His heart wavered like a scale. His plump cheeks sagged with depression.

Like a man who had lost his way, Eun-myeong stared blankly at the sea. Splash, splash… The night sea growled, raising waves like claws, like a foul-tempered dog.

Eun-myeong particularly disliked the night sea. Should he say it looked like a black beast curled up… It was dreadfully terrifying.

Swoosh, the sea breeze struck sharply. Eun-myeong felt a sense of desolation on the empty shore.

I wonder if Noona felt this way. When she was threatened by the Director because of him and exploited by the sashimi restaurant owner, did she feel as if she were standing in a vast ocean where not a single inch ahead was visible?

All he had were mountains of debt and his noona, yet why was it so hard to protect even her with his own hands?

Noona had only just become happy. She had a decent job and wore a nice uniform. The thought that he must protect that, no matter what, filled his mind completely.

Eun-myeong soon steadied his gaze. Unlike usual, a sense of determination settled in his eyes, which were so full of moisture that a single squeeze would make juice burst forth.

This isn’t a matter of whether I can or can’t do it. It’s a matter of having to do it. Eun-myeong slowly moved his feet.

There were several boats moored at the pier. It was too dark to see clearly. Eun-myeong quickly pulled a lighter from his pocket. Flick, as he rolled the wheel, a small flame ignited. He checked them one by one to see if the boat he was looking for was there.

“Oh.”

Among them, he spotted a boat with ‘Tteokgal-ho’ written on it.

“…This is it.”

Eun-myeong straightened his back. To the naked eye, it was just an ordinary boat, but he heard that the drugs Jjangja was looking for were hidden beneath it. Eun-myeong scanned the surroundings once more.

“I’m a coward~ Don’t curse me! Even if I wander through the filthy back alleys~”

Flinch. His body stiffened. The shrieking voice was coming from afar. Eun-myeong held his breath. The voice, singing loudly as if intoxicated, gradually faded away.

Only when the sound had completely vanished did Eun-myeong stealthily step onto the boat. Clunk, the center of gravity shifted.

“…Ugh.”

Upon entering, the smell of fish was overwhelming. A surge of nausea rose up. He felt as if he would vomit uncontrollably if he put a finger in his throat.

Eun-myeong steadied his mind. …Just take what Jjangja told me to bring and get out quickly. The moment I leave, I’m getting away from here without looking back.

“…Heave-ho.”

He trotted to the center of the boat and crouched down. Looking closely, there was a door handle on the floor. It was a fish hold for storing caught fish. He pulled the ring hard to open the door.

“…Ugh…!”

Clunk, the door opened.

The inside of the hold was pitch black. Eun-myeong carefully lit his lighter to illuminate the interior. The orange flame flickered, lighting up the narrow space.

‘Is there actually something here?’

At most, there were some fish remains. There was nothing that looked like drugs. He wondered if it was too small for him to find.

“……”

Looking inside like this made him feel motion sick. The boat was swaying more than usual today; the waves were no joke. The weather was poor. As the thought that it might rain crossed his mind, his heart began to race.

…Instead of just staying here, I should go down.

Eun-myeong bit the inside of his cheek hard. The soft flesh stretched and filled his mouth. He slowly gripped the ladder and climbed down.

The surroundings were dark as ink, and the foul fishy smell pierced his nose like bars. However, no matter how much he rummaged through the bottom, nothing caught the tips of his fingers.

Just then, the boat shifted with a clunk. His center of gravity tilted. Eun-myeong stumbled, saying “Uh, uh,” and ended up landing hard on his backside.

“Ugh.”

While he was rubbing his sore backside, he heard a sound from above. Squeak. Simultaneously, the darkness grew denser. Wondering if, he looked up. The door to the fish hold was indeed closing.

“Uh…!”

Eun-myeong stared up blankly, like a water deer on a road facing a car accident. Soon, his entire body was buried in darkness. It was a land of pitch black where he couldn’t even see his own hands.

“Excuse me!”

Flustered, Eun-myeong flailed his arms wildly. Since his eyes were useless, his mind grew sluggish.

Then, his fingertips caught onto something, and he gripped it. It was the ladder. He climbed up one by one, missing a step here and there. He tried to push the door up with one hand, but it wouldn’t open.

“There’s someone here!!”

Eun-myeong panicked. He clung to the ladder with one hand and punched the door wildly with the other.

“Is anyone there?”

But no matter how hard he tried to push the door up, only the sound of clunking echoed.

Bang, bang, bang!

As he threw a fit, the boat rocked. The ladder slipped, and Eun-myeong fell to the side.

The same sequence of actions repeated several times. He climbed the ladder again and again, punching the door and making a scene, until the ladder shook and he was flung off.

It’s too dark… I, I need a light.

Eun-myeong quickly took out the lighter and flicked the wheel, flick, flick. Finally, a small flame sprang up, lighting the darkness.

Thank goodness… I’m so glad I have this. The thumb pressing down on the wheel trembled violently.

However, the strength soon left his hand, and the flame went out as if he had blown on it.

“Uh…”

As the darkness rushed back in, Eun-myeong hurriedly lit the lighter again. He did so over and over, bringing the light back to himself. He turned the wheel repeatedly, even as his fingernails split and broke.

Then, the flame began to weaken noticeably. The color and size shrank, disappearing as if trimmed by nail clippers.

“Why won’t it light…”

In the end, no matter how many times he flicked it—flick, flick, flick—it wouldn’t light. The gas had run out.

He was in real trouble.

“Excuse me, is anyone there!”

Anxious, Eun-myeong began to bite his thumbnails frantically. If the man, who spent every spare moment grooming his nails and toenails with a jackknife, saw him, he would surely give him a hard time again. He would arch his eyebrows and glare at him with wide eyes. Who knew what kind of foul words he would say to him.

But Eun-myeong had no room to think further. I’m scared, I’m scared, what do I do, I’m trapped, I’m scared… It felt as if his windpipe was tightening. He scanned the surroundings frantically.

Eun-myeong actually disliked enclosed spaces. No, in truth, he was terrified of them. Moreover, if it was dark, he wouldn’t set foot in them at all.

‘Disobedient brats should be beaten like dogs. I fed you, raised you, and changed your shitty diapers, and you still don’t listen, why!’

The voice struck his mind like a bolt of lightning. Eun-myeong hunched his shoulders and covered his ears. It’s a hallucination, that’s a hallucination. There’s no way the Director is on the boat right now.

…And yet.

Even knowing that, just hearing that voice still sent chills crawling up to the base of his ears. It was a bad memory, learned since childhood, clinging to the shaded parts of his body like moss.

Sway, a large wave surged beneath his backside. It felt as if a giant monster were lurking below. Eun-myeong’s eyes grew damp.

Stay calm, I have to stay calm. They have to fish anyway… I just have to hold out until dawn. It felt as if the air was gradually running out.

Just then.

Tup, tup. At the sound of something falling from above, Eun-myeong looked up.

Can. Spring Days in My Life. 2001.