By Zephyria 
“Hmm? It’s time to go back now.”
In the midst of this, the scent of the man drifted closer, making Eun-myeong’s heart thumping wildly. His body remembered him. The touching skin, the body heat—they craved him like a habit.
Overwhelmed by the agony, Eun-myeong clamped his hand tightly over his nose.
“I’m telling you that you’re lovely, that you’re cute.”
He felt like barking like a dog—woof!—just to tell him to stop whispering in such a tender voice.
“You said you wanted to make marinated crab.”
“No, not anymore….”
Why on earth was he acting like this now?
Eun-myeong pressed down hard on his lower lip. The small piece of flesh turned bright red, looking as if it might burst into blood at any moment.
“We should go back and eat it together.”
“Liar. You never once ate anything I gave you.”
Everything he had wanted to give the man had been thrown away. The steamed buns were ruthlessly trampled, and the grilled eel had grown cold, only for Eun-myeong to eat it himself. Even the lighter that had once been in the man’s grip was smashed to pieces.
The man had never once fully accepted his heart.
“I’m not going to make marinated crab. I don’t know how to make that stuff. If I make it, it’ll taste like trash. People will complain it tastes bad, the customers will hate it, and I’ll be kicked out….”
Inside the small, narrow, and miserable prison cell, the only thing Eun-myeong could do was indulge in delusions. Every stray thought was stolen by the bugs gnawing away at the inside of his head.
Especially memories of the man always flowed in an unfortunate direction.
“Then what, you’re saying you’ll go all the way to the main house like this?”
Do you really want that? The man asked as he stroked Eun-myeong’s cheek. Only then did Eun-myeong realize that he was bursting into tears.
“Baby, you can’t stay here, okay? It’s obvious how those bastards will pass you around. Do you really want to be used like a trash can?”
Eun-myeong’s lips trembled. He hated how his voice sounded suppressed as he swallowed his sobs.
“B-Boss….”
But since this might be the last memory he ever has, Eun-myeong put strength into his trembling lips and slack tongue. He forced himself to speak each word clearly.
“No, you’re the one who treated me like that first.”
At the term “you,” which drew a definitive line between them, the muscles in the man’s jaw tightened.
“What…?”
“You used me like a trash can. You peed wherever you wanted, and you… you treated me so recklessly….”
Eun-myeong shook his head violently.
“You love me? Liar. Who would believe a lie like that? I’m not some… some idiot.”
His hair, which had grown too long, brushed into Eun-myeong’s mouth.
“How can you speak so filthily? I couldn’t even say a word out of place… because I loved the Boss so much.”
A single glance, a single gesture, a single word, even the brief second of breathing. To Eun-myeong, every moment was as difficult as it was a desperate wish to be loved.
“But for the Boss, everything was easy. I… I was too easy.”
Even as tears streamed down his face, Eun-myeong spoke cleverly.
“I was an easy target because I’m an orphan, uneducated, and have nothing. I was a joke to you.”
His jaw trembled. He didn’t know how much he had hardened his heart to avoid weakening while trapped here alone.
So why was the man shaking him up again now? Eun-myeong was not a sturdy tree; if this continued, his emotions would surely scatter like dried leaves.
“They say there’s a time for love. It’s already too, too late. Not anymore.”
Eun-myeong pushed the man away. His broad shoulders didn’t budge, like an impregnable fortress, but he looked down at the hand pushing him.
“Maybe I was just too lacking and misunderstood it… that affection deficiency was love….”
The nails on his slender fingers had grown slightly in the meantime.
It showed how long the man had been absent from Eun-myeong’s life. As much as the nails had grown, the man had been separated from Eun-myeong. He had grown distant. That tiny gap felt as if it were being driven into the man’s chest like a stake.
“I don’t know how I could have loved you. You only ever said mean things to me.”
How is that love?
When he asked, the man couldn’t find the words to respond.
He was the one who had come bearing a false love, unfolding it before Eun-myeong like a gift. How could he, harboring such wicked emotions, argue the truth or falsehood of Eun-myeong’s feelings?
“No.”
Despite that, the man spat out the words as if chewing them.
“You love me, don’t you?”
Having come all the way to such a wretched place for him, how could this not be love? He even tried to soothe Eun-myeong, asking how that could possibly be a lie.
The conversation circled around and around, eventually returning to the starting point.
“Like a complete idiot, I didn’t know you were here.”
To that, Eun-myeong replied with bloodshot eyes.
“You didn’t even try to stop me when I left anyway.”
Ah, the man sighed. At the same time, he recalled that departing figure etched into his retina like a tattoo. How hard he had struggled not to grab those small shoulders as they walked out the door. The sensation of his trembling hand was still vivid at his fingertips.
Ah, was that why?
Was that why his middle finger had felt as hot as if it had been burned?
Because of that, the man had to lie on an operating table. He had his middle finger cut off. Just as a lizard sheds its tail.
“The Boss doesn’t love me.”
As Eun-myeong spoke again like a machine, his round eyes were vacant.
“It’s just that I’m an eyesore now that I don’t let you push me around as you please.”
Eun-myeong murmured.
On the day Eun-myeong visited the police station to confess, a man claiming to be a lawyer from Kangsung had come.
Eun-myeong, who had intended to apply for a public defender since he had no money, was stunned. He wondered if the man knew he had come this far.
The lawyer said he had come at the Chairman’s request. He claimed the Boss was completely unaware of the situation.
‘When the eldest young master was still a teenager, he couldn’t control his overflowing vigor and caused accidents; I followed him around cleaning up the messes. He is a man who isn’t satisfied until he gets whatever he wants in his hands….’
Cold eyes scanned Eun-myeong up and down from behind the glasses frames. It was a gaze that judged him as if grading a pig. Eun-myeong felt an unbearable sense of shame.
If this person had known the man since childhood, he must know him very well. Why did Eun-myeong have to be in such an embarrassing state of all things?
‘The Boss is a man with a bright future. He is the one who will follow the Chairman and lead Kangsung in the future, after all.’
Eun-myeong bit his lower lip hard.
‘Even if the Boss comes back and pokes around at you, Mr. Eun-myeong….’
The lawyer trailed off, but Eun-myeong knew what he meant.
‘You know, right? There are many eyes watching the Boss. If you so much as make eye contact or have a conversation, people will think you’re conspiring together.’
With that, the lawyer took a photo out of a squared briefcase and handed it over. It was a photo of a woman in a pure white wedding dress. Her softly smiling face was very radiant and beautiful.
‘Why this….’
Eun-myeong asked why he was being shown this. The lawyer soon provided the answer.
‘She is the one the Boss will soon marry.’
Thump. A huge boulder crashed down on Eun-myeong’s chest. His eyes instinctively fell back to the photo. Looking again, something new entered his field of vision.
It was the bride’s two hands cradling her stomach. Seeing the slight bulge of her belly, she seemed to be pregnant.
‘…….’
Furthermore, a ring was visible on her white glove. Because of the distance, the exact shape wasn’t clear, but Eun-myeong could trace the gem even with his eyes closed.
Indeed, the stone was very large. …And beautiful.
He had once wondered who the owner of that ring would be, but he never imagined he would confirm it so clearly with his own eyes.
So sad, so heartbroken, that Eun-myeong spent several nights in tears.
Even so, his wish for the man to be happy was sincere. Because they were people born from different worlds.
If the man could extend his branches even more strongly by using him as nutrient-rich soil, that was enough for Eun-myeong.
After how much bone-carving effort he had spent hardening his heart. Why was he trying to shake him again?
“Go away. Please, let’s just be strangers.”
A man who is getting married couldn’t possibly love someone like me. And even if a single shred of sincerity had been attached to it, …it’s all truly over now.
I hope he forgets someone like me and just lives happily somewhere. Eun-myeong felt that would truly be enough.
He continued to ignore the single streak of filthy desire rising in his heart.
Really? …Will that really be enough for you?