By Zephyria 
And after that, he couldn’t fall back asleep. Eun-myeong spent the dawn hours tossing and turning. He had writhed so much that the bedding was completely crumpled.
“…….”
Eun-myeong’s eyes were swollen like steamed buns. When he sniffled, his nostrils felt tight and sore.
But he didn’t have time to dwell. Eun-myeong bravely got out of bed and neatly folded the blankets. Since his Noona didn’t seem to be awake yet, he slipped quietly into the kitchen.
‘Maybe I’ll make some rice balls with the leftover rice from yesterday.’
He wondered why she was returning to work so soon after being discharged from the hospital. He felt sorry for his Noona, who had to live such a busy life without even a moment’s rest. She would need a hearty breakfast to have the strength to endure the day.
Eun-myeong added a bit of sesame oil and seasoned salt to the leftover rice and mixed it thoroughly. Once the seasoning was evenly distributed, he carefully pinched off small portions and shaped them. As his hands worked, his thoughts began to settle.
Right, if I think about it, it’s not that big of a deal. I’ve always lived just fine without a man like Kang Pyeong-won.
No matter how I feel, that man probably slept soundly, sprawled out and snoring.
“…Right.”
He probably did. Eun-myeong’s hands stopped abruptly. Amidst the rich, nutty aroma of sesame oil, Eun-myeong was suddenly sucked back into a whirlwind of stray thoughts.
He couldn’t forget the last image he saw of the man. That broad back that had completely turned away from him, that thick neck held stiffly forward, and the gaze that refused to linger on him….
How could he not look back even once?
…Yes, I suppose he could. He succumbed to self-derision shortly after. Because he probably doesn’t have a single shred of lingering attachment to me.
The man had always been like that. Only Eun-myeong had clung to his emotions, anxious and trembling. Whenever he heard the man’s footsteps, Eun-myeong would throw down the cast net he was weaving and rush out to meet him.
“Sigh….”
Here he was again, losing himself in thoughts of the man. Why did it always have to be him? Eun-myeong kneaded the rice again, as if to erase the misery. As he shaped the rice grains, he steadied his heart.
Right, let’s take it slow. I don’t have to forget everything today.
If today is a bit hard, I can just try a little harder tomorrow. If I can’t forget any more today, I’ll just push it off until tomorrow.
If I forget little by little like that, someday it will fade.
He opened a can of tuna from the cupboard, mixed it with plenty of mayonnaise, and made tuna-mayo rice balls. After shaping them into pretty little rounds, he felt it wasn’t enough, so he also made round rice balls with shredded squid and stir-fried anchovies. He also brewed a simple egg soup.
He had been so absorbed in the task that beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. Then, with a click, the door opened and his Noona came out. Her hair was a mess, looking as if it had been hit by a bomb. Her face was puffy, as if she hadn’t slept well.
“What are you doing?”
Noona called out to Eun-myeong as she entered the kitchen and discovered the rice balls gathered in a little cluster on one side.
“Hey, you didn’t have to do this. I told you not to feel pressured.”
“I did it because I wanted to. Noona, go wash up quickly.”
If he just sat still like a snowman, stray thoughts would only flood in. He had to keep his hands busy and his body moving to keep useless thoughts at bay. He needed to find more work. It was about time he contacted the day-labor office. Maybe there was a fisherman looking for a crew member.
Strangely, he hadn’t been able to contact Yong-hee since being kissed. Giving any unnecessary room for hope would only be poisonous. He had simply left a text saying he was quitting and took a break from winding nets. Fortunately, Yong-hee hadn’t said anything particular….
“Ah, washing my hair is such a chore.”
Noona grumbled, scratching her head.
“Is it obvious that I haven’t washed it?”
Eun-myeong looked at Noona’s hair. Then, he carefully averted his gaze.
“Yeah…. I think you should wash it.”
“Dammit, so that’s how it is….”
She smacked her lips and finally headed into the bathroom.
“I should just shave my head completely.”
While Noona washed, Eun-myeong did the ironing. Since they didn’t have a proper ironing board, he flipped over a cardboard box and pressed the clothes flat.
Noona’s yellow shirt became beautifully crisp. Satisfied, he bit the side of his cheek. He felt very proud thinking of Noona wearing this to work.
Is there anything else to do….
Then, he whipped his head toward the shoe rack. He carefully polished the single pair of shoes with a dry towel. Noticing that one heel was quite worn down, he rubbed the other side vigorously with a scouring pad so she wouldn’t trip.
As he crouched in the narrow shoe rack, absorbed in his work, a shadow fell over him from behind.
“What are you doing?”
Thump, the towel fell from Noona’s head. Noona looked once at the shoes in Eun-myeong’s grip, and once at the shirt hanging next to the TV.
“How are you even this good at it?”
Eun-myeong looked down shyly. His swollen eyelids delicately covered his light brown pupils. His cheeks flushed red.
“I just… did it while waiting for you, Noona.”
He murmured it like an excuse, but in truth, he had been hoping for a little praise. However, to his surprise, Noona’s face crumpled harshly.
“Did that son of a bitch make you do things like this?”
Eun-myeong was startled. How did her thoughts jump to that?
“No, he never did.”
He shook his head quickly, insisting that it wasn’t like that, that the man had never used him like a servant.
No, it wasn’t that he’d never done it. Just once recently, he had. He had suddenly ordered a mountain of housework and then observed Eun-myeong’s expression—as if testing whether he was loyal or not.
Eun-myeong set the shoes down neatly on one side, as if shaking off the thought. They were polished to a dazzling shine.
“Let’s eat quickly.”
Eun-myeong served the egg soup and rice balls. Noona practically inhaled them, then packed three more pieces to eat at the office before standing up.
“Take them and share them with the people at work.”
“Hmph! Don’t make me laugh, I’m not giving them a single grain. They’re all mine.”
“…Okay, drink some water with them so you don’t get indigestion.”
After Noona left for work, he cleaned the cluttered room. He wiped the floor clean and did the overdue laundry. He folded the fluffy, dry clothes neatly and hung the towels with a few sharp snaps.
“…….”
He smiled slightly, feeling proud as he watched the laundry flutter in the breeze, but it was only for a moment. The corners of his mouth drooped again.
It was just a flash. The moment he allowed himself that brief respite, the silence piercing through his entire body felt chilling. A sudden wave of loneliness and desolation rushed over him.
“…I-I should go to work.”
Eun-myeong moved his body as if being chased by something. Even though nothing was pursuing him, he was afraid of being seized by the surging emotions. He feared he might surrender himself once more to those emotions that crashed over him like a stormy sea.
So, he hurried out of the house and trudged toward the sashimi restaurant.
As he neared the shop, the salty scent of the sea brushed his nose. Even though his feet, plastered with bandages, stung, his mind was blank. He stopped at the crosswalk near the shop, moving purely by instinct.
Waiting was always a painful thing. But he found that waiting for someone who was no longer there felt far more hollow.
As he stood there blankly waiting for the light to change, a warm sensation touched his face. Startled, he looked to the side and saw a canned coffee.
“Eun-myeong, you’re on your way to work.”
It was Ji Jun-il, the customer. He had wondered why they kept running into each other so frequently, but then he remembered that the man lived nearby.
“Were you okay during the dawn?”
“Ah, yes….”
“You cried; your eyes are very swollen.”
Is it that obvious on my face? Feeling incredibly embarrassed and shy, Eun-myeong pressed the canned coffee against his eyes. His earlobes turned a faint red.
“Your home disappeared overnight, and the person who is supposed to be your partner didn’t even comfort you?”
He had tried so hard to push the thoughts away, but now even a passing stranger was bringing up the man. Eun-myeong carefully lowered the coffee. His face was already drenched in an uncontrollable melancholy. Like a withered plant, Eun-myeong lowered his eyelashes.
“We aren’t seeing each other anymore.”
He couldn’t tell the customer that the person he called a partner was actually the one who set fire to his house, nor that they weren’t truly partners. The customer likely couldn’t imagine such a terrifying backstory.
“I see, so you broke up.”
While they spoke, the light changed once. As Eun-myeong hurried to cross the street, a gentle voice drifted from beside him.
“Eun-myeong, you have something on your eyelash here.”
“Where?”
As he turned his head, Jun-il tapped just below Eun-myeong’s eye with his finger. Eun-myeong’s cheek—plump compared to his body, which was as thin as a bird’s leg—dipped inward.
“Right here.”
Eun-myeong clenched his fist and rubbed his eyes frantically.
“Hey, don’t do that. You’ll hurt your eyes.”
The customer reached out, asking him to look. Then, he cupped Eun-myeong’s cheeks with his hands and blew softly—hooo—against his eye. The warm breath brushed his eyelids. Eun-myeong’s long eyelashes trembled. They fluttered delicately, like pussy willows.
“Thank you….”
Eun-myeong murmured in embarrassment.