By Zephyria On the last day of an exhibition, things were not as busy as they had been during the opening. Depending on the nature of the exhibition, there were times when the artist and buyers were invited for an after-party on the final day, but since this was a joint exhibition by multiple artists, it was difficult to coordinate schedules. Thus, only the artists and key clients whose schedules aligned would be invited for separate entertainment hosted by Phantom’s CEO and the Teacher outside the venue.
As an temporary part-timer, I didn’t need to come in from the morning. I arrived just before closing time and helped Yooni Noona and Juhan Hyung pack up the exhibition space. Unlike last time, the task was to take down all the artworks and move them to the storage room in the basement.
Perhaps because we had worked together before, we finished moving all the artworks to the storage and repacking them properly before 10 o’clock. Most of these pieces were scheduled to be delivered to their new owners starting Monday. The two of them, their voices raised in excitement, even did a strange dance in the basement storage, saying the sales rate was almost a record-breaking high and a substantial bonus was expected this month.
Though the work was fast, we were completely exhausted afterward. It was a fatigue like that after a short-distance sprint.
We sat far apart from each other at the office conference table. Juhan Hyung rested one arm on the table and lay his head down, while Noona put two capsules into the coffee machine, brewed a strong coffee, and downed it with ice. I, too, felt a slight fatigue, so I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair.
“So, it seems you really like stripes.”
“What?”
It wasn’t that I didn’t understand Noona’s words. It was a reflexive response to hearing something unexpected at such a sudden moment. Noona, having drunk more than half of the coffee in her large tumbler, looked a bit more energetic.
“You wore a striped t-shirt on the VIP opening day, and the day before, too. I can’t believe you wore stripes today as well. Thanks to you, I lost the bet.”
“Thanks, Hyun-i. I get to have Baek Yuni buy me a meal thanks to you.”
Juhan Hyung, who had only turned his head towards us while lying down, made a V with his fingertips in the same position and grinned.
“Ah… I’m sorry, Noona.”
Noona, who had gotten up and was walking behind me, patted my back with a smile.
“Then, if I had won, would you have apologized to Kwon Juhan?”
“Ah…”
Come to think of it, that was true too.
“You’ll be even more sorry to me after receiving this. What a shame…”
Noona placed a small shopping bag she had brought from the desk onto the table. The small black shopping bag, with the words ‘Old Future’ printed on it, was adorned with a black ribbon.
“What is this?”
“A gift. You seem like a stripe fanatic. I thought of you the moment I saw this.”
Inside the shopping bag was a black and white striped t-shirt. When I unfolded it, it was a loose short-sleeved t-shirt with a slightly wide neckline.
“It’s not something we bought separately; it’s from the mall we run, so don’t feel burdened and just take it.”
“No, please feel burdened. Take this and feel burdened, then work with us. Huh?”
Hyung, who had moved to the seat opposite me, reached across the table, grabbed my hand, and made a pleading expression. While his earnestness in asking me to work together felt genuinely kind and appreciated, I could only smile awkwardly, recalling the face of the man who had emphasized ‘peace and safety’ to me and spoken like someone from the underworld, saying, “What? Seo Yi-hyun-ssi.”
“But… do you run a shopping mall?”
“It’s a bit different from what you’d call a shopping mall, but if you have to put it that way, then yes. It hasn’t been long since we opened. About half a year now?”
Noona looked at Juhan Hyung as she confirmed her memory, speaking the last sentence.
“Our tastes are like this, aren’t they? It’s hard to find clothes we like in Korea. So, I thought it would be good to open a website for people with similar tastes. Most of the clothes are items we buy during overseas trips, so we only have one or two pieces each, so the profit isn’t huge. We’re not doing it to make big money, just because we like it.”
Hyung said it casually, as if talking about going for a bike ride in front of his house when he has free time, but to me, it seemed like a sufficiently impressive feat. Regardless of how successful it was, I knew that simply turning an idea into action was not easy.
“Then, aren’t these clothes you’re supposed to sell too?”
“Even if they are, they’re not expensive, so wear it without hesitation. Kwon Juhan and I both tend not to give gifts that would make the other feel burdened.”
Noona lightly ruffled my hair as she sat on the edge of the table, drinking coffee. Just hearing the ice clink every time she tilted her cup was refreshing.
“Thank you. I’ll wear it well.”
There wasn’t a particular reason or stubbornness behind only wearing striped t-shirts. I didn’t have a knack for choosing clothes stylishly, nor was I particularly interested in fashion itself.
The thought that stripes wouldn’t be too dull yet not too flashy was the starting point. Then, before I knew it, all the tops in my closet became striped. In fact, I didn’t even have that many clothes to say I only wore striped t-shirts. And even then, I had only packed two or three thin long-sleeved shirts that I immediately needed when I left Grandfather’s house, so I was in need of a few short-sleeved shirts for the increasingly hot weather.
But it wasn’t just the joy of receiving something I needed as a gift.
The fact that someone had watched me closely, understood my taste, and thought of me even when I wasn’t there. That unexpected kindness made my heart flutter lightly for a moment.
The kind thought of those who remembered me with just a striped t-shirt seemed to gently scold my social reclusion, which had resisted a world beyond the narrow relationship composed of Morae and Hyung.
Perhaps noble and sacrificial love isn’t the only salvation, I mused, looking down at the t-shirt in my hand, lost in such somewhat grand thoughts.
The two of them pushed me behind the office partition, saying they wanted to see me wear it. I took off the old long-sleeved t-shirt I was wearing, draped it over the partition, and slipped the new shirt on over my head. It was a stylish design compared to what I usually wore, so it felt awkward, but their reactions were enthusiastic.
“The atmosphere changes so much with just one t-shirt?”
I chuckled at Juhan Hyung’s slightly exaggerated reaction as he played a game on his phone.
“Now, admit the discerning eye of this Baek Yuni.”
Noona said boastfully, crossing her arms and lifting her chin, while Hyung, sitting in his chair, scowled.
“Baek Yuni-nim, Hyun-i looked pretty even when he was just wearing a plain black pair of pants and a casual t-shirt.”
“He was pretty before, but now he’s even prettier. Admit it, you brat.”
“Ah, when did I ever say I didn’t admit it? I admit it, I totally admit it. Baek Yuni is the best.”
As the two of them showered me with compliments, using the word ‘pretty’ excessively, I felt awkward, as if I were wearing the t-shirt itself. I absentmindedly touched the back of my neck, then remembered the t-shirt I had left draped on the partition and brought it over to put it in my bag along with the shopping bag.
“What’s your height?”
In response to Noona’s question, I recalled my memories from the military.
“The last time I measured, it was around 181 cm.”
“Is it because your face is small and your limbs are long? I thought you were a bit taller.”
Noona scanned me with her eyes, as if gauging my height, from across the table.
“It’s just right, though. You’re not going to be a model, so being any taller would make it harder to find clothes that fit and wouldn’t be good. 181 that looks like 183-4. Perfect. I’m jealous, man.”
Juhan Hyung, who looked about 5-7 centimeters taller than me, spoke while tapping the screen with quick hand movements, as if he were playing a game again. To me, Hyung looked like a model. I had felt that way since I first saw him in the basement storage.
“With your good proportions and face, even just changing your t-shirt with black jeans would make you look like a model. Hyun-i, you must have heard people ask if you were an Alpha.”
Noona said it with almost certainty, but no matter how much I searched my memory, I had never been mistaken for one. At least, no one had ever said that to my face.
“No, not at all…”
“Nah, Hyun-i is less like an Alpha and more like…”
Juhan Hyung, who had taken his eyes off the screen and was looking at me with a slightly subtle, pressing gaze, was about to finish his sentence when a commotion was heard from outside the office door.
The main door was locked from the inside, so only those with a pass could enter. Everyone exchanged glances with expressions of ‘Who could it be?’
“Hello, babies!”
The person who entered the office door after passing through the hall and corridor, making a grand entrance like a musical actor, was the man in the passenger seat. Upon seeing his face, Noona and Hyung let out obvious sighs.
It wasn’t a reaction of genuine rejection, but rather a playful greeting that could come from a comfortable relationship.
“My Juhan and Yuni are welcoming me so warmly again. What’s with that reaction to someone who came to buy you delicious food?”
The Phantom CEO followed behind, looking displeased, pushing the slightly tipsy man aside.
“CEO, why did you bring Inwoo Teacher?”
“I didn’t bring him. This brat insisted on coming, so I was dragged along against my will.”
He pushed the man in the passenger seat aside and entered the office with a tired expression.
“Who dragged whom? Sitting among people with no common topics and forcing myself to smile, I came out to buy delicious food for the babies who must be suffering at Phantom, but you followed me.”
He complained loudly towards the CEO’s back, who was walking ahead of him, and without giving him a chance to retort, he approached me directly. Then, he slightly bent his waist and brought his face close. There was a very faint smell of wine. It wasn’t strong.
“Lee Hyun-ssi, have you been well?”
“Yes. Hello.”
The CEO walked past the table and was brewing a cup of coffee at the machine by the window. His back, leaning with one arm on his hip, looked a little tired.
“You said you were coming to buy us delicious food, but you came to see Lee Hyun, didn’t you?”
Juhan Hyung grumbled, and the man in the passenger seat put his arm around my shoulder and turned towards Noona and Hyung.
“So what if I came to see someone? It’s still me who’s treating today.”
“Then let’s go. It’ll take 10 minutes.”
This was Yooni Noona’s neat reply after checking her wristwatch.
■ ■ ■
The bar, located in a narrow alley deeper inside a bustling entertainment district, felt like a splendid hideout. It sold Spanish tapas and wine, and the interior was filled with no more than four or five tables.
The atmosphere was not solemn or stiff. The attire of the people at the tables, the volume of their conversations, and the music playing created a rather casual ambiance.
In any case, to me, who had spent the last five to six years in a fishing village with no Spanish restaurants, or even a franchise pizza place, it was a sophisticated place, almost uncomfortably so.
The man in the passenger seat seemed most familiar with the place. As soon as he received the menu after getting everyone’s agreement, he chose two or three tapas-like dishes and wine and ordered them.
All four people, excluding me, seemed to know the restaurant owner. That alone allowed me to guess that they were on a certain level of intimate terms privately. At least, they were close enough to share a regular haunt.
“May I call you Lee Hyun-ssi?”
Startled by the awkwardness, I quickly put down my glass and nodded at the man across from me.
“Lee Hyun-ssi, please just call me Inwoo Hyung comfortably.”
I knew his name was Choi In-woo because I had checked the artist’s name on the painting during the VIP opening.
“How can Teacher be Hyung to Lee Hyun? Maybe Uncle, but not Hyung. Let’s just call him Inwoo Teacher.”
Juhan Hyung said to the man in the passenger seat in a slightly teasing manner, and the man crossed his arms on the table and frowned.
“I’m not Lee Hyun’s doctor, so why should I be called Teacher? I don’t like it.”
“Then why are we calling you Teacher? You’re not our doctor either.”
Tch. The man clicked his tongue at Juhan Hyung’s logic. He seemed to reluctantly concede, but then a new complaint followed.
“I hear the word ‘Teacher’ enough at the hospital. Do you know that every time I hear it, I feel like I’ve aged 20 years? And you guys, you call all the other affiliated artists ‘Artist-nim,’ but only call me ‘Teacher’?”
“Ah, we see Teacher so often because of the CEO. If we called you Artist-nim, it would feel distant.”
Juhan Hyung, leaning against the window and turned completely sideways, fiddled with his long, slender fingers and smiled leisurely.
“That’s right. It’s an expression of closeness.”
Yooni Noona chimed in, supporting Hyung. But the man didn’t let it go easily.
“What about Shushu? Why do you call Shushu ‘Artist-nim’ then?”
Shushu. It was a name I had heard before.
I still remembered that word, which had a sweet sound, unlike the Phantom CEO’s low, husky voice.
Feeling a slight thirst, I drank some more water.
Our group occupied the window seats closest to the entrance, but since there were five of us, one person had to sit with their chair facing the corridor. Juhan Hyung and Yooni Noona sat in the innermost seats, and I sat next to Juhan Hyung in the order we entered the store. And the seat facing the corridor, which might have been the most uncomfortable, naturally became the Phantom CEO’s spot.
Because he was right next to me across the corner of the table, I pulled my feet under the chair as far as possible, worrying that our legs might get tangled or I might step on his feet under the long tablecloth that covered everything below my thighs.
He seemed uninterested in being here, resting one arm on the backrest and twirling an empty wine glass in his other hand, while the conversations of others at nearby tables went in one ear and out the other.
Then why was he here? According to the man in the passenger seat, the CEO hadn’t suggested he come along.
“Shushu Artist-nim… has a personal relationship with the CEO, but has almost no private interaction with us.”
Yooni Noona lowered her tone from the playfully excited one she had maintained so far and spoke somewhat cautiously. Whether it was my imagination or not, she seemed to be gauging the CEO’s mood.
The conversation paused briefly as the owner, with a friendly face, brought the wine. The five empty glasses were filled with a little dark red wine. It was my first time drinking wine.
As the glasses were filled, someone lightly clinked their glasses together without anyone proposing a toast. There was no specific toast. The wine, which I was drinking for the first time, was more fragrant than beer, but the lingering aftertaste was surprisingly intense. The sensation of flavors layering in my mouth as I drank more was novel.
Suddenly realizing I had already emptied about half the glass, I put it down. The three people, excluding the CEO, were still discussing the honorifics. It seemed like this debate would continue all night if I didn’t reach a conclusion.
“I’m not a Phantom employee… If it’s okay, I’ll call you Hyung.”
I said it without much thought, as I didn’t expect to have many occasions to call him anything in the future.
Yooni Noona and Juhan Hyung wore expressions like they had lost a game, while Inwoo… Hyung looked like a child who had finally obtained the toy he wanted after a fierce struggle.
“Then, try calling me. Call me Inwoo Hyung.”
The table wasn’t very wide, so Inwoo… Hyung’s face, leaning forward from directly across from me, was quite close. It was a face that openly showed anticipation, making it hard to disappoint.
“Inwoo Hyung… you’re a doctor by profession, right?”
He smiled broadly, revealing his even teeth. It was an objectively attractive smile, with the corners of his eyes crinkling and his pupils shining.
“Don’t you know you sound really like an old man right now? Why are you so fixated on being called Hyung?”
The Phantom CEO, shaking his head, swallowed the wine as if letting it flow into his mouth.
As much as he seemed uninterested in being here, his speed of emptying his wine was the fastest among us.
I wondered if he wasn’t feeling completely comfortable here because I was present, but I quickly dismissed the thought. I could afford to be quite bold when it came to him.
“It’s cute. When you call me ‘Hyung, Hyung,’ and beg, I feel like I want to give you anything.”
The man in the passenger seat, who spoke with a dreamy expression, was a gastroenterologist. And at the same time, he was also an artist affiliated with Phantom.
Though a specialist, he was a doctor who belonged to a small general hospital where his parents were the director and vice-director, respectively, and spent his days just goofing off—that was the explanation added by the Phantom representative, Yooni Noona, and Juhan Hyung.
As a result of Phantom’s active marketing with the angle of ‘doctor-artist,’ he was also a fairly popular artist, with his paintings selling as soon as they were hung in exhibitions.
Both his parents were passionate collectors of art, so he had been familiar with paintings since childhood. He had been painting them as a hobby for a long time before diving into the art market at the suggestion of the Phantom representative. Even if he wasn’t a full-time artist, the fact that he sold his paintings for money meant he was already a professional artist.
Thinking of how he had recommended his own work at the VIP opening last time, his face felt like it was heating up. He downed his wine in frustration, and as his glass emptied for the second or third time, In-woo Hyung took out a bottle from the steel basket beside the table and refilled his glass.
“I’m sorry about that day. I didn’t even know you were the artist yourself…. I’m not knowledgeable about art at all, so I just spoke based on my feelings… I apologize if I offended you.”
“No, not at all. Why would I be offended? You didn’t say anything bad. I did feel a bit self-conscious, like my naked body was exposed, but your interpretation, Lee Hyun-ssi, was much more resonant than the pretentious words of critics. Honestly, I even felt like it was fate.”
If he hadn’t put on an exaggeratedly playful expression while saying the last sentence, I would have been at a loss for how to react.
“Ugh, that damned fate…. Teacher, you sure have a lot of fate.”
It was a relief that Juhan Hyung’s sigh and added remark lightened the mood a bit.
“This might sound presumptuous… but I think I know why your work, artist… no, Hyung’s work is popular. Because it’s difficult for most people to be honest, just like it is for everyone else…”
I hadn’t specifically been thinking of anyone, but strangely, my words trailed off towards the Phantom representative. Feeling self-conscious about the direction of my gaze, I brought the glass I had been fiddling with to my lips.
I realized for the first time that alcohol could be quite a good shield for hiding one’s expression and gaze.
“Honestly, after hearing what Lee Hyun-ssi said that day, Kun and I both thought you must have majored in art in some capacity. We only found out you hadn’t after Manager Han told us.”
Kun.
Though he seemed to be called by his title, representative, by most people, I had heard him called by the exotic name Kun a few times.
Yet, despite helping out at Phantom three times up until today, I still didn’t know the representative’s real name. I could easily find out if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to ask Teacher, Yooni Noona, or Juhan Hyung about him. I also didn’t feel like searching ‘Gallery Phantom’ on my phone. Not when no one would see it.
“Anyway, thanks to you, I was truly happy that day. Art is something everyone appreciates in their own way, according to their feelings at the time, but still, it’s nice when someone sees the ‘me’ that I unknowingly poured into it, isn’t it?”
His words, spoken with a smile, felt sincere, so I smiled back. I could vaguely imagine the sense of welcome he spoke of. Perhaps it was overwhelming, exciting… and maybe even feeling fate. Like discovering the one person who had deciphered your own secret code.
“Ah, Lee Hyun-ssi. What would you say about the painting in your living room? Aren’t you curious?”
Setting down his wine, In-woo Hyung nudged the representative’s arm. At In-woo Hyung’s question, the representative’s gaze slowly turned towards me.
From the beginning until now, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being completely dismantled and evaluated under his gaze. Though it held a calm indifference, it was precisely because of that that it could ruthlessly dissect the other person, and his gaze evoked an awkward discomfort and a tension that caused a thirst.
But at the same time, it was also a stimulus that brought out a rebellious streak I hadn’t known I possessed, a sense that even someone like me could stir if pushed.
His pale, light grey-blue eyes, gazing at me, seemed to plead with delicate emotions that could shatter at any moment, blurring the chill left by the cold words that had come from his lips until now.
However, that was merely a visual image caused by the color of his eyes.
Before his lips, which had been moving, could utter a reply, his phone, resting on the table, vibrated lightly.
As he lowered his gaze and checked the caller ID, a smile appeared on his lips. It was a faint smile, but it was genuine.
With a simple gesture asking for permission, he took his phone, stood up, and walked towards the entrance door, connecting the call.
“Ah, it’s me… Yeah, I finished well. Now? No, I left with Choi In-woo. We’re having an after-party with the Phantom folks now.”
Though his back was turned, only showing his profile from our angle, I could tell he was smiling. It wasn’t the mechanical smile he used when dealing with Phantom’s clients, but a sweet smile.
A private smile, not a business one. Like when he pronounced the word ‘Shushu.’
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. If you come, you’ll just be bothered by everyone, and you’ll be tired. You don’t have to worry about that.”
Just then, the dishes we had ordered were served all at once. The owner briefly explained each dish himself, but my hearing was more drawn to his call, happening a few yards away, than to the conversations at our table.
“It doesn’t matter how few pieces there are, so don’t push yourself. It’s Shushu. People are already lining up to reserve before even seeing the work.”
Just like me, a person couldn’t maintain the same attitude in all their human relationships. But he, as far as I knew, was someone who interacted with others in the most varied ways.
Teacher. Yooni Noona and Juhan Hyung. In-woo Hyung. Phantom’s clients. Me. There were differences, big and small, in how he treated each of them.
And now, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe of the open entrance, his face full of smiles as he focused on his call, completely changed the impression I had of him, who I thought would be stoic with no highs or lows even when dealing with a lover.
Shushu. The sweetness that name evoked might not just be the sound of the word.
“Lee Hyun-ssi, try some of this. You need to gain some weight.”
At Yooni Noona’s voice calling me, I withdrew my gaze, which had been glancing at the representative’s back while pretending to drink wine.
In-woo Hyung served a dish of Iberico pork jowl, slow-cooked for a long time, onto my plate.
“Teacher, this one might look like this on the outside, but he’s got substance. He’s working part-time at a moving company,” Noona said, chewing on a piece of melon topped with thinly sliced jamón.
In-woo Hyung’s eyes widened in surprise as he looked at me. Then, he slowly scanned my upper body, exposed on the table, up and down.
In reality, anyone could do a moving company job. The movers’ physiques were also ordinary. Rather than large individuals, most were of average build and agile.
“Did you know? That Lee Hyun-ssi works part-time at a moving company.”
As the representative returned to his seat after finishing his call, In-woo Hyung said, looking up at him.
He just shrugged, offering no particular response, and sat down, starting to drink wine again. In-woo Hyung, not expecting any agreement or reaction from him, soon turned his gaze and attention back to me.
“Looking at you, you seem like an artist… but working part-time at a moving company. How is it that things just keep getting more interesting, Lee Hyun-ssi?Using the negative phrase ‘things getting more interesting/complicated’ as an expression of favor, In-woo Hyung shook his head and smiled.
“Speaking of which, Lee Hyun-ssi, you have a different vibe today… Last time, you looked like a good, model student who came to the gallery holding your mom and dad’s hands, but today, you’ve got a touch of decadent charm.”
I lowered my head and looked down at myself at the compliment, which was a type of praise I’d never heard before. Then, I tugged at the hem of the t-shirt I was wearing.
“Noona and Hyung gave me this t-shirt as a gift.”
“Ah, Old Future?”
The word ‘Old Future’ came directly from his lips. It was the lettering on the shopping bag Yooni Noona had given me. That was probably the title of the website run by Noona and Hyung.
“Now that I think about it, Lee Hyun-ssi, Old Future clothes would suit you well. It’s better than something too blatant like yours, isn’t it? Hmm… it leaves room for imagination, perhaps?”
“What does that mean, Teacher?” Yooni Noona asked, putting her hand on In-woo Hyung’s shoulder and threateningly poking him with her fork.
“Honestly, you guys, your vibe is just overtly punk. There’s no unexpectedness.”
“Wow… Teacher, you’re really too much. Even if Lee Hyun likes you, that’s too much. And you weren’t this forward when I first met you, so I’m quite disappointed.”
Juhan Hyung also joined in on cornering In-woo Hyung.
Judging by what Noona and Hyung said, it seemed this was not the first time In-woo Hyung had shown this kind of interest towards someone of the same sex. Whether that interest was genuine or half-joking.
However, he hadn’t taken any action that made me feel threatened or repulsed yet. He had asked for my phone number in the car on the way here, but it was hard to classify that alone as a cause for alarm.
His characteristic playful tone and expression, which stripped the weight from everything he said, also served as a reason to dismiss his expressions of interest as lighthearted.
Even now, In-woo Hyung raised his hand, palm out, towards Juhan Hyung with an exaggeratedly serious expression.
“My aesthetic standards are just high. Sorry.”
“It’s impressive that you’re still like this even after being treated like that by Lee Hyun that day. I would avoid you.”
Juhan Hyung, who wouldn’t just stand by and take it, wasn’t one to be outdone. He took a sip of wine with a nonchalant expression and brought up the incident at the VIP opening again, where I had spoken about ‘honesty’ regarding In-woo Hyung’s painting.
“It’s not that he’s avoiding you; rather, that’s probably why Teacher became more interested in Lee Hyun.”
Yooni Noona’s words made In-woo Hyung smile ambiguously. While smiling ambiguously, he sent a gaze towards me over his wine glass. His smiling gaze seemed to contain a secret signal, or perhaps it was just the cheerful attitude of a drinking party.
As long as he didn’t ask me a question that required an answer, I had no intention of seriously considering the meaning of that gaze.
Setting his wine glass down on the table, In-woo Hyung said, as if he had just remembered.
“Lee Hyun-ssi, you’re an Alpha, right?”
It was a tone that asked in passing, as if it were a sure fact that didn’t need an answer. In-woo Hyung was so confident in asking that it took time for an answer to come.
“…No.”
At my answer, the smile disappeared from In-woo Hyung’s face, and the Phantom representative seemed delighted. He laughed with a sound like air escaping, and drank his wine with the most cheerful face I had seen so far.
And then, as if to say ‘See?’, he said:
“I told you it wouldn’t be.”
Were they talking about me? After whether I majored in art, were they discussing whether I was an Alpha?
“That’s strange… Even if I’m suppressing my hormones, I shouldn’t be unable to recognize an Omega… Then, Lee Hyun-ssi, are you perhaps a Diamond Omega, a step above Golden Omega? Someone who can make no one suspect they’re an Omega if they put their mind to it?”
“What Diamond Omega?” Yooni Noona scoffed, and In-woo Hyung retorted, “Can’t you tell the difference between a joke and the truth?”
I felt the need to correct In-woo Hyung’s certainty, which was based on the premise that if I wasn’t an Alpha, I must be an Omega.
“Um… I’m… not an Omega either.”
“……”
This time, his expression was even more rigid than when I said I wasn’t an Alpha. Even the representative, who had been leaning back with a relaxed victor’s smile, tapping the front legs of his chair, stopped moving and looked at me.
In-woo Hyung narrowed his eyes and asked, “Then, a Beta?”
“Yes…”
In-woo Hyung and the representative looked at each other. And the next moment, the representative’s eyes, turning back to me, were filled with suspicion and wariness, as if looking at an unknown life form. It was a look that said such a thing couldn’t possibly exist on Earth.
“Are you sure?”
I almost wanted to ask him back. On what grounds had he been so certain I was an Omega?
The test results from middle school had also indicated Beta, and since then, I had never experienced a heat cycle suspected to be a heat, nor had I experienced rut triggered by an Omega’s pheromones.
I was a definite Beta, to the point where I had never felt the need for a re-test. One of the most common beings in this world. Like water, air, or dust. One of them.
Beta Yooni Noona and Juhan Hyung naturally accepted me as a Beta without any further confirmation process. And as far as I knew, the representative and In-woo Hyung were Alphas. In-woo Hyung thought I was an Alpha, and the Golden Alpha representative was convinced I was an Omega.
And now, his profile, drinking wine with a face that looked like he had suffered a great setback, still seemed unwilling to accept the fact that I wasn’t an Omega.
“But never mind me, you were wrong. What’s going on, Golden Alpha? Huh? Have you lost your touch? Don’t pheromones need to circulate to function properly? So, release some pheromones, and get some Omega pheromones too. Or are you trying to become a Beta altogether?”
Towards In-woo Hyung, who was poking him with his elbow and teasing him, he bared his displeasure by twisting one side of his lips.
“I’ve never lacked a partner, even without pheromones.”
“Hmm… Whether you’ve received help from pheromones or not, only those who have been your partners would know.”
“Don’t treat me the same as those other Alphas who scatter them indiscriminately.”
He put force into his eyelids, genuinely displeased.
I recalled Juhan Hyung’s explanation that Golden Alphas could control the release of their pheromones at will.
“That’s a kind of fastidiousness, you know? This situation is happening because you control your pheromones too much. This isn’t just a monkey falling from a tree. Who is Lau Wikun? Isn’t he an Omega detector more accurate than genetic analysis results? Ah… your Golden Alpha dignity is ruined.”
He tried to shut In-woo Hyung up, telling him not to overreact over something trivial, but he had the most visibly flustered face I had ever seen.
Why was the fact that I was a Beta, that I wasn’t an Omega, that he had mistaken a Beta for an Omega, so shocking to him?
Was it simply because his track record, which had always identified Omegas more accurately than genetic analysis, had been tarnished, as In-woo Hyung said?
I didn’t know the reason, but to fluster him, revealing the clear fact that I was a Beta seemed more effective than a completely unfounded declaration of being gay. Perhaps his reluctance to have me move into Teacher’s house was also because he misunderstood me as an Omega.
In any case, I was the reason he was frowning and rapidly emptying his wine.
Perhaps it was the wine I had drunk so much of, but I felt like my body was swaying as if floating on waves. I needed more wine to hide the unquenchable heat.
“Ah, I’m sorry.”
My guard, which I had been trying to maintain, slipped, and I bumped into someone’s leg under the table. I immediately pulled my foot back under the chair and apologized to the Phantom representative.
His face, still wearing a fierce expression, turned towards me, and then In-woo Hyung tapped the edge of the table from across the way.
“Lee Hyun-ssi, that… was my leg.”
Looking at me with a lingering gaze, In-woo Hyung brought his wine glass to his lips. Then, he took in me and the representative with his eyes, very slowly.
“I’m sorry.”
I offered another apology to In-woo Hyung, unsure if it was for stepping on his foot or for mistaking the object of my apology.
From his reaction just now, In-woo Hyung probably realized who I was paying attention to, and I felt parched. I had no choice but to drink more wine.
The drinking party continued until after 2 AM. The five of us emptied six or seven bottles of wine, and I drank a little over one bottle myself. Everyone was getting tipsy, and In-woo Hyung, Yooni Noona, and Juhan Hyung were more boisterous than usual.
“Representative-nim, I love you.”
“I don’t. Why are you clinging to me? Get off.”
While pushing away Juhan Hyung’s face, who was hugging him tightly and sticking out his lips, the CEO of Phantom was smiling. His complexion wasn’t flushed, nor did he become talkative, but it was clear he too had relaxed pleasantly.
I was similarly feeling tipsy from the wine I was trying for the first time. My body felt floaty and my focus blurred, so I looked down at my feet and blinked slowly. A hand grabbed my wrist and shook it gently, prompting me to look up.
“Lee Hyun, where do you live? I’ll take you home.”
It was In-woo Hyung.
“No, no, Teacher, you just take us home. The CEO will take Lee Hyun.”
“Hmm… why can’t the opposite be true?”
In-woo Hyung stroked his chin and narrowed his eyes at Yooni Noona, who was shaking her finger horizontally. A chuckle escaped me at his playful expression.
“If you put your hand on your chest and think about it, you’ll quickly know the answer. Come on, let’s go. The designated driver is here!”
Juhan Hyung, who seemed as energetic as if he’d drunk an energy drink, snatched In-woo Hyung’s wrist and started running towards the car parked by the roadside.
“CEO, please take good care of Lee Hyun!”
As they disappeared in In-woo Hyung’s car, waving enthusiastically, the street that had been so boisterous moments before suddenly fell silent. Only then did I notice that most of the shops were already closed and there wasn’t a single person walking on the street.
The CEO, who had also called a designated driver like In-woo Hyung, checked his watch and said, “I should take Manager Han home, right?”
“Not really… I’m not that drunk, I can take a taxi.”
He looked down at me without a word. His gaze, fixed on me with his hands shoved into his pants pockets and his head tilted slightly, was overwhelming, so I looked down instead.
Beneath the rolled-up shirt sleeves, I saw his firm wrists, the pants with their fine color and natural wrinkles, and well-made leather loafers.
I wasn’t so drunk that I couldn’t stand. I had just lost my balance for a moment, swaying, while trying to steady myself. But he seemed to have judged that I was in no state to gauge my own level of intoxication.
He approached quickly, his hand grabbing my arm as I swayed, and pulled me along with a faint sigh.
“Let’s go.”
After giving the driver’s seat to the designated driver, we sat side-by-side in the back seat. There was no particular conversation on the way home. The extent of our dialogue was me asking if I could smoke and him answering.
The gentle breeze blowing through the open window, meant to help sober me up, felt pleasant. My hair, blown by the wind, tickled my face, and I giggled. He turned to look at me, and I kept laughing as I looked at him. I just felt like laughing. I laughed again at my own silliness. He must have been quite bewildered.
I wondered why he was going down to the underground parking lot instead of dropping me off at the apartment entrance. After getting out of the car, following me, he sent the driver away.
“Can I come up for a bit?”
“……”
“I need to pick up a few things from Manager Han’s place.”
Since he said that, there was no reason to refuse. Although I lived there, it wasn’t exactly my home.
I clutched the strap of my bag tightly in the elevator, trying to hold onto my loosening consciousness.
He got out of the elevator before me and, as if it were his own home, entered the apartment by typing in the password. Then, putting on guest slippers, he went straight to the kitchen and took out an energy drink, humming softly.
He shook the bottle of the drink he was drinking towards me, who was standing blankly in front of the dining table, raising his eyebrows as if asking if I wanted some. Even though he was drinking directly from the bottle. I thought he might be particular about personal hygiene, but it seemed that wasn’t entirely the case.
I wanted some cold water rather than an energy drink, so I filled a glass from the water dispenser. Since he was sitting at the dining table with the energy drink in front of him, I had to sit opposite him, rather than going to my room to change and shower.
“Manager Han will probably come home quite drunk today. There’s a group among the people gathered today that he gets along well with. Please take good care of him in the morning.”
“Yes, I will do that.”
The Teacher was also a smoker, and ashtrays were always kept on the coffee table and the dining table. He asked if he could smoke, and I nodded before getting up to open the kitchen window.
“Seo Yi-hyun, what’s your height?”
He asked, looking at me as I returned to my seat, flicking ash. Many people were asking about my height today.
“About 181.”
“Taller than I thought.”
It was the complete opposite of what Yooni Noona or Juhan Hyung had said. However, despite bringing up the topic himself, he didn’t seem particularly interested.
The long, narrow dining space, where the table was placed, was located between the living room and the kitchen. Since he, who had entered the house before me, had only turned on the light above the dining table, the light in the spacious interior was concentrated solely on the table.
The space seemed designed for enjoying drinks and conversation with close friends rather than for meals. The Teacher had chosen a bulb that emitted a soft, cozy orange glow for the dining light.
Because of the long, dangling light, which could cause one to hit their head if they stood up too quickly, deep shadows were cast on his face. He took a drag from his cigarette with a slightly anxious movement and looked at me askance.
“Can I see the paintings you drew in the past?”
“……”
Unlike his indifferent reaction to my height, his question about my paintings was sincere. I had never expected that the person who was indifferent, almost hostile, towards me would be curious about my paintings.
“No… I don’t have any with me.”
“You don’t even have photos of them?”
I shook my head.
Shaking my head several times, I gripped the water glass in front of me tightly.
Between his exhales of smoke, the faint vibration of a phone, woooong woooong, seeped in. His phone, placed on the dining table, was silent. He gestured with his chin as he flicked ash.
“Answer it. It’s okay.”
The caller was In-woo Hyung.
He said he had just arrived home after dropping off Yooni Noona and Juhan Hyung, and asked if I had gotten home safely. I thanked him again for the enjoyable day and hung up. It lasted less than a minute.
“Have you already developed to the point of contacting each other in this short time?”
He said, crushing his nearly burnt cigarette in the ashtray. There was no hint of sarcasm.
“No… not really, not like that… We just exchanged numbers earlier today…”
“You said you were gay, but it seems Seo Yi-hyun isn’t entirely uninterested in Choi In-woo either?”
Since my declaration of being gay was false, or at least an unverified impulsive statement, I didn’t know how to respond.
He fiddled with the energy drink bottle, opened it, and took another sip.
“You don’t have much dating experience, do you?”
“……”
It was a relief that he didn’t bring up the painting topic again, but dating wasn’t a comfortable subject either.
He leaned back against the chair, legs crossed languidly, and tapped the table with the drink bottle, looking across at me. From what I had observed so far, he wasn’t one for good posture.
“Choi In-woo is not a bad guy as a friend, but I can’t say he’s a good guy as a man.”
Was he concerned that I might get hurt by a bad guy? Was he that interested in me? Thinking that, I stared blankly into his eyes, which were still strange to me despite being familiar with dark eyes.
Perhaps he took my lack of a clear reaction as me not understanding the seriousness of the situation, he leaned forward over the table, his expression becoming more serious.
“He’s not on a level that a novice like Seo Yi-hyun can handle. From what I see, you seem to value getting to know each other slowly and building a connection… but that kind of relationship is far from what he offers.”
“What about you, CEO?”
“……”
He had been talking to me sitting right in front of him, yet he frowned as if he hadn’t expected me to react to his words.
Whether it was the alcohol or my own “wriggling” that allowed me to be somewhat defiant towards him, I asked a question that I thought was quite bold.
“Then, are you a good guy as a man?”
He lowered his gaze to the table and laughed. Then he lit a new cigarette. Exhaling the first puff of smoke, he said,
“Is there such a thing as a ‘good man’… Does it exist? I’ve never seen one.”
It carried the nuance of having been badly hurt by a bad man. Or perhaps he was labeling himself as the ultimate bad guy.
However, I couldn’t ask for the detailed reason. In the very next moment, the self-deprecating smile had already vanished from his face.
“I’m saying this out of a sense of responsibility, since I met Choi In-woo while working at Phantom. Don’t take everything he says too seriously. Well… if Seo Yi-hyun is drawn to him, I can’t say anything about that.”
In that sense, his words were merely a “sense of responsibility.” He wasn’t actively trying to dissuade me, but rather a shallow shield to lessen any lingering guilt if things got complicated and became a tragedy because of me.
As if he had said all he needed to say on the matter, he pushed back the hair falling onto his forehead with the back of his left hand, which held the cigarette, and changed the subject.
“I want you to officially start working at Phantom. We’ve been increasing our affiliated artists and the number and scale of exhibitions lately, so the staff has been having a hard time. I’ve been thinking about hiring more people, but I’m a bit… picky about people, so I’ve made things difficult for them. I’d like it if Seo Yi-hyun could come and work here. That’s what I came here to talk about today. I’ll convey the details through Manager Han.”
He spoke in a rapid tone, as if he would get up and leave the moment he finished this story. Even after finishing, he continued to smoke.
My brain was slow to process, perhaps due to the alcohol.
I hadn’t expected him to want to hire me as an employee. Or perhaps, somewhere deep in my subconscious, I had guessed that it would end up this way.
I don’t know what’s what. Wiping away the water droplets that had formed on the surface of the cup due to the temperature difference between inside and outside, I asked him.
“Can I ask… why you suddenly changed your mind?”
“I decided after seeing Seo Yi-hyun’s work attitude and results. My mind hasn’t really changed. Manager Han and the staff also want Seo Yi-hyun.”
“It’s not because you found out I’m not an Omega… is it?”
My brain, slower than usual, felt like its sense of direction was also broken. I blurted out questions as they came to mind, without much hesitation. Considering how I usually chose my words more than necessary, these were quite bold questions for me.
Was he suddenly making this offer because he thought I wouldn’t cause problems since I wasn’t an Omega? Then why did his discernment, which could distinguish Omegas so accurately, malfunction when it came to me?
After a moment of silence in response to my question, which could sound impudent depending on the perspective, he took several quick puffs of his cigarette.
“About that, are you really not an Omega?”
With the light shining intensely from above and the cigarette between his fingers, I felt like I was being interrogated by a detective.
“Yes, I received a 100% certain Beta diagnosis in middle school and again during my pre-enlistment physical examination.”
“Then what is it?”
What is it? He muttered as if asking himself, but his gaze remained fixed on me. He still seemed unable to accept the fact that I was a Beta, or rather, that I wasn’t an Omega.
“I told you I’m a Beta.”
“Are you really a Beta? If you’re not a Golden Omega, or if your family isn’t wealthy, it’s honestly not an easy world to live as a male Omega. So if you’re pretending to be a Beta… you don’t have to.”
A breeze blew in from the open kitchen window. Mixed with the smoke drifting on the wind was an unfamiliar scent, like his cologne.
He didn’t seem to notice that the tip of his cigarette was burning down close to the filter, and he continued to stare at me without any intention of putting it out. He looked like someone who wished I would confess, that I was actually an Omega.
His grey-blue eyes slowly alternated between my left and right eye under his narrowly opened eyelids.
My body felt heavy, perhaps due to the alcohol. No, it was different from just feeling heavy. My entire body felt loose, as if my joints had gone slack, and I felt like I was floating in the air.
I felt so lethargic that I wanted to lie down, yet also so exhilarated that I felt like drinking more. I was definitely not in a normal state.
After taking a drink of water to clear my head, I bit my lower lip and let go, opening my mouth. I wanted him to give up on this issue now.
“No, I am indeed a Beta. Even if I were an Omega… I wouldn’t have hidden it for the reasons you mentioned.”
Even after that, he didn’t take his gaze off me for a while. The sensation of my body floating, like drifting on waves, made it increasingly difficult to stay seated.
Finally, he stubbed out his cigarette, and as the acrid smoke dissipated, the influence of his cologne became stronger. It was an intensely strong scent, strange that I hadn’t noticed it when we were so close at the bar and in the car.
Fragrant, or unpleasant.
It was a scent like a complex equation, difficult to categorize with simple preferences.
If I encountered such a scent on someone walking down the street, its uniqueness would make me look back again. A scent that strangely pricked at my nerves and drew me in.
“Hah… what am I even…”
He said, shaking his head as if blaming himself. I couldn’t tell what he was blaming himself for. His scent, which had been lingering around my nose, faded as if scattered by the wind blowing through the window.
He stubbed out his cigarette and, taking the half-finished energy drink, stood up. He told me to consult Manager Han if I had any questions about working there officially, assuring me that he would help faithfully, as I probably knew. With those business-like closing remarks, he disappeared beyond the front door.
Perhaps due to the alcohol, my libido surged strongly. It was natural for me to feel desire several times a day at my age, but this was extremely rare for me.
I stopped showering and caressed myself under the stream of water. It wasn’t the usual mechanical masturbation, achieved by simple friction and pressure to induce an erection and ejaculation.
Amidst the sexual pleasure that sent tingles through my skin, my legs trembled, and I had to lean against the tiled wall as I lost my balance. The intensity of the desire, unlike anything I had felt before, the overwhelming surge of lust that transcended my personality and experience, even instilled fear in me.
Moaning incoherently, I found myself unfamiliar with my state, unable to control myself as I held my still-erect penis after ejaculating, which didn’t subside easily.
Excessive drinking was not only bad for health but also carried a high risk of being exposed to sudden urges.
Despite the act being more intense than ever, when I collapsed onto the bed, exhausted, I felt more thirst than relief. Gripping the sheets tightly, I then let them go, and for the first time in years, I swore out loud.