By Zephyria Grayson stopped all movement at those words. Naomi, not even realizing he wasn’t breathing, continued.
“Isn’t it strange? Who would set something like that as a safe word? The person who heard it must have thought it was weird too. When they asked why that of all things…”
‘Hearing those words just makes me lose all motivation.’
Dane’s face, saying that with a languid tone and a smile, seemed vivid in Grayson’s mind. Naomi shrugged at Grayson, who was sitting there silently.
“Are there people who say that to avoid responsibility? What can’t you say during sex? There are people who get more excited when they hear those words. It just means he can’t stand even a simple ‘I love you’ said out of excitement. How irresponsible.”
“…No.”
Grayson muttered in a low voice at Naomi’s last words.
“That man, on the contrary, is just too responsible.”
Naomi, understanding his words a beat late, looked at him with a puzzled expression. Grayson, looking at the edge of the table, continued to murmur.
“He takes responsibility no matter what, so he just doesn’t say it easily…”
Naomi blinked in surprise. What was this man saying?
She was flustered, but Grayson remained lost in his own thoughts.
I was forcing something he was trying so hard to avoid.
A sense of futility washed over him. To only realize that now. So late.
Ha, he let out a ridiculous laugh and raised his head. Naomi, who had been watching Grayson until then, paused when their eyes met. Grayson gave her his usual smile.
“Thanks for telling me.”
“Uh…”
Naomi blurted out a dazed sound. Just as she was thinking something was wrong, Grayson suddenly met her eyes. Naomi, startled without realizing it, was asked by Grayson in a slow tone.
“What did I do wrong to you?”
“What? What do you mean?”
Frowning at the sudden question, Grayson replied with his usual smiling face.
“Joining that group means you also have a grudge against me, right?”
“I didn’t join, I just know it exists.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Grayson nodded casually as she corrected the wrong information with a frown. Naomi frowned, disliking his attitude. At the gaze that stared at him without a word, Grayson let his lips fall.
“Tell me, please.”
His face was the same as always, but his tone felt somehow different from before. Naomi stared at him intently before narrowing her eyes.
“You need to distinguish between someone you have sex with and someone you marry.”
Using her genius acting skills to the fullest, Naomi imitated Grayson’s tone exactly, a faint anger rising in her eyes. She had tried to forget these words. But even when she was going about her daily life, the memory would suddenly come back to life, and she would get angry every time. The anger grew stronger over time, and now it wouldn’t subside easily no matter what happened to Grayson.
Well, start talking. What kind of excuses will you make?
In contrast to the murderous gaze directed at him, Grayson looked surprised. Hypocritically so, which made Naomi even angrier.
“What are you talking about? Did I say that? To you?”
“Exactly! Just as I expected, Grayson Miller. Excellent.”
Naomi smiled brightly and even clapped.
“I thought you wouldn’t even remember. You really are Grayson Miller.”
“When did I ever say something like that…”
“Well, yeah. Why would you need to remember something like that? You’re Miller.”
Grayson paused at the sarcastic words. She gave a cynical smile and twisted the knife.
“You’ve never thought about other people’s feelings, have you? Of course. There’s no need to. So how could you remember? You just say whatever you want and leave.”
Grayson seemed genuinely surprised at the words poured out with anger. More than anything, he was bewildered by the fact that Naomi was this angry.
“You’re really amazing.”
“What?”
What kind of words is this bastard going to use to turn me inside out this time? For a moment, Naomi tensed up, but he said nonchalantly.
“To be this angry at me and still be friends with me… I didn’t know, thank you.”
Is this crazy bastard serious?
Grayson was genuinely impressed. For a moment, Naomi almost slammed her fist on the table. Fortunately, with tremendous self-control, instead of attracting people’s attention, she lowered her voice as much as possible, although she couldn’t suppress the trembling, and spat out through gritted teeth.
“Why do you think I stayed close to you? I was waiting to see you fall apart, you son of a bitch.”
At those words, Grayson only let out a short exclamation, “Oh.” An awkward silence fell. Grayson stared blankly at Naomi, who was glaring at him from across the table, before finally drooping his shoulders.
“I see…”
His voice fading as he muttered and lowered his head, he looked somehow like a puppy who had been robbed of the snack he was expecting. No way, that couldn’t be. That’s Grayson Miller. Naomi wanted to slap herself on the cheek and tell herself to come to her senses, but instead, she glared.
Don’t pity him, this is just the show that bastard always puts on. Never fall for it.
Just as she had resolved that, Grayson opened his mouth.
“I think I’m being punished.”
“What?”
Naomi was startled and widened her eyes. What did I just hear?
She couldn’t help but doubt her ears at a sentence she thought Grayson Miller would never say. But Grayson was no longer smiling. His expression, with his lips drooping sadly and looking down, looked so dejected. Even though there was no way that could be the case.
Yes, this is the price of my sins.
Grayson thought.
The sin of always putting my own feelings first and trampling on the feelings of others.
‘Have people ever been happy that you helped them?’
Dane’s words suddenly came to mind. He was the same. He only thought about his own feelings and never considered the other person’s position even once. He only thought from his own perspective.
Then, a face suddenly came to mind. His younger brother, whom he had tried his best to help. But Grayson had always only felt wronged when he saw him hating and despising him…
“I’m sorry.”
Naomi’s eyes widened even more at the quietly flowing voice. Grayson continued in a more serious voice than ever before.
“I’m sorry, for all the things I said. …I shouldn’t have.”
To finally understand only when it became his own problem.
Grayson added self-deprecatingly.
“I’m sorry for hurting you.”
Naomi was silent for a moment. No way, she had desperately wanted this day to come, but at the same time, she thought it could never happen, no way.
“You really loved him, that man.”
Grayson paused at Naomi’s mumbling, which sounded like a soliloquy, before answering.
“Yeah.”
Grayson raised his head and said to Naomi, who was staring blankly in a daze.
“Thank you for telling me about Dane. I enjoyed it, really.”
Oh my god…
It was still unbelievable, but she had no choice but to believe it. Because a smile that she had never seen before was on Grayson’s face as he looked at Naomi. An expression that looked like he was crying even though he was smiling.
Grayson Miller finally knows what emotions are.
The moment she realized that, Naomi felt like she had been hit hard on the head, rather than feeling joy.
This isn’t it.
Naomi thought blankly. This, this isn’t it. This isn’t what I imagined. The same words kept repeating in her head.
Now it was her turn to laugh to her heart’s content. Wasn’t this the moment she had longed for so much? The very moment that she had despaired would never come, but had no choice but to stubbornly wait for. Now was that very moment.
But why can’t I laugh?
Naomi was flustered and could only look at him. It was ridiculous, but right now she was pitying Grayson. The sight of a man who was at least twice her size crouching down and looking so depressed made the anger that had been burning in her heart for years subside so quickly.
Why did it turn out like this?
She was bewildered before suddenly realizing. Ah, this is an emotion that I can’t help but feel because I’m human.
So it’s also impossible to hate someone forever.
Because forgiving and pitying are also emotions that I naturally feel because I’m human.
The moment she realized that, she felt more at peace than ever before. She had finally found the peace of mind that she couldn’t feel even after doing yoga for 10 hours. Only then could Naomi sincerely say.
“I’ll accept your apology.”
Grayson, who had been staring intently at her face, gave a faint smile.
“Thank you.”
He felt a little lighter.
Who else is there?
He rummaged through his memories before chuckling.
There are a lot left.
But the very last one was decided. It was Chase Miller.
Desire Me if you can
As always, as soon as he got off work, Dane took care of the cat’s food and litter box, ate a simple dinner with leftovers, and sat on the sofa. He drank beer and flipped through the TV channels, but everywhere he looked, there were only boring shows.
What was really boring was his life. Nothing had changed from before or now, but Dane was realizing every day how tiresome life was. It felt like he was being forced to sit and watch a very boring movie that had been played in slow motion as much as possible.
…When was the last time I went to a club?
But he had no motivation, so he didn’t even feel like going. He sighed, thinking that he was voluntarily continuing an incredibly long period of abstinence. He stroked Darling, who had climbed onto his thigh and was rubbing his head against his stomach, out of habit.
It’s empty.
He vaguely recalled as he watched the quiz show playing on TV without any emotion.
Desire Me if you can
“…”
He suddenly woke up from sleep at the sound of someone chattering. Only then did Dane realize that he had fallen asleep sitting on the sofa. He was about to turn off the TV and go to bed when he looked for the remote control. Suddenly, the reporter’s voice pierced his ears.
Yes, that’s right. Miller was shot right here.
At that moment, Dane froze.