By Zephyria 
“I’m okay. You don’t need to feel guilty.”
Jeong-min felt a surge of emotion at those words and reflexively brushed away Shin-woo’s hand, which was stroking his head.
“It’s not guilt, it’s worry.”
“Thank you.”
“Hyung. If it’s okay, can you tell me about it?”
“About what?”
“How it happened. Can you tell me what happened?”
If he could learn about the process, perhaps he could find a way.
“Are you curious?”
“I am. But it’s not just a light curiosity.”
“I know. Hmm… it’s not a pleasant story to hear. And you might be disappointed in me.”
“I’ve already heard that you used drugs, so what else…”
“Haha. That’s true.”
Shin-woo sighed and clasped his two hands tightly. Then, as if determined, he continued the story of his time after leaving the twins.
The beginning was no different from what he had said at the hospital. He entered medical school in the States and learned about pheromone research and clinical trials involving Alphas and Omegas. Coincidentally, there was a clinical trial for Alphas, and after participating in that trial, he developed pheromone hypersensitivity as a side effect.
Due to that agony, he started drugs, and when the school found out, he was expelled. His parents found out, and Yu Shin-woo’s mother came to America to help him rehabilitate, so he quit the drugs, but the pheromone hypersensitivity remained unresolved.
“After looking around, I found out there was a school in England researching drugs related to pheromone hypersensitivity. I sent them an email, and they asked if I could help with their research immediately. They said I was a rare case. Usually, pheromone hypersensitivity is congenital and about 90 percent are Betas, whereas I was acquired and a trait individual. Without hesitation, I went to England immediately. There, inevitably, clinical trials were conducted on my body again… but there was some progress on this side. Like allergy medication, a drug was developed that allows one to lead a normal life for a few hours after taking it.”
“That’s the drug you said… you have to take three times a day.”
“Right. If I don’t take that drug on time, even a small amount of pheromone causes a shock reaction like it did back then…”
“Does that drug have side effects?”
“It does.”
“What… what are they?”
“I notice pheromones more sensitively. Usually, when you take a suppressant, the pheromone level becomes 1, right? But I’ve come to perceive that 1 as about 5. The doctor I saw at the cafe must have had very subtle pheromones.”
That was correct. Although the fellow doctor said pheromones were leaking, Jeong-min hadn’t felt them at all. It was likely a level only the person themselves could notice.
“But I felt it strongly. It happened because the efficacy of the drug I took previously was wearing off at the same time. That’s why I collapsed from hypersensitivity then.”
“My god…”
Jeong-min placed his hand on his forehead and lowered his head. It was despair. There were no other words to describe it.
“Then shouldn’t you stay in England? Why did you come to Korea?”
“There are three reasons.”
“Three reasons?”
“First, the professor who was in charge of me was transferred to Korea. That’s the hospital where you are. Second, a research institute for pheromone hypersensitivity was newly established at your hospital, led by that professor. While studying me, they realized that symptoms differ between Asians and Westerners. Because of that, the pharmaceutical company recognized that separate research on Asians was necessary. And third… Sigh, this is the biggest reason. I told you that the way I perceive pheromones is different from ordinary people. Westerners don’t hide their pheromones. They release them with a boldness that is almost suffocating. They even spray pheromone perfumes on top of that. That’s why I couldn’t bear it anymore. Korea is less like that.”
Jeong-min felt he understood. He had visited the West several times for academic conferences and had struggled many times because people openly released their pheromones. Some of it was even mixed with the scent of marijuana, forcing him to wear a blocking mask all day.
“I’m selfish, aren’t I?”
After finishing his story, Shin-woo asked Jeong-min with a face that looked both complicated and relieved.
“You’ve ended up like this because of your own greed, and then you came to this country only for your own sake. Even I think it’s pathetic.”
“It’s not like that. I don’t think so.”
“Both then and now… you are the only one who always believes in everything I do. That’s why I always thought I should show you my best side. I was always careful, trying not to stray even slightly from the right path. Because you were always watching.”
And that gaze probably wasn’t what Hyung had wanted.
“I’m sorry. It was my fault. I… back then, I… Hyung….”
If only he hadn’t made that mistake back then. If only he hadn’t embraced Hyung out of greed…. He shouldn’t have spoken those feelings. In the end, his own greed had made everything a mess. He should have let go of those feelings sooner. He was being punished for trying to possess something that was impossible.
As Jeong-min clutched his head in distress, Shin-woo stood up, sat beside him, and patted his shoulder.
“It’s just that you and I were too young. The same goes for now. Everyone fails, and only then do they realize and learn. So it’s not your fault, and it’s not mine. We just made a little mistake.”
Jeong-min saw a bookshelf in Shin-woo’s eyes. In the middle of that shelf were photos of Jeong-min as a child, his graduation photo, and family photos. Among the many pictures, he saw one of himself, Young-min, and Jeong-min—the three of them together.
A past he could never return to. But even if he did go back, he felt he would make the same choice. That was why he decided not to regret it anymore. He would simply struggle to ensure he didn’t make the same mistake again.
“I really didn’t want to show you this side of me.”
When Shin-woo spoke with a light laugh, Jeong-min let out a small chuckle.
“You’re disappointed in me, aren’t you?”
“No, I just thought that Hyung is a human being just like me.”
“I’ve always been human.”
“I guess so….”
Back then, he had seemed so high and unreachable. Because he felt like someone he could never touch… he thinks he had been more anxious. But now, he was within reach. And now, he felt as if they were standing on the same level.
“Then, can you continue to receive treatment in Korea, Hyung?”
“For now… I’ve agreed to keep receiving the drug. I’ll also continue to help with the trials. I should do what I can. For the sake of others, too.”
“Ah, is my pheromone okay?”
Jeong-min jumped up in surprise. Even though Shin-woo had taken a suppressant, he was worried. Shin-woo grabbed Jeong-min’s wrist.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry.”
“But…. should I spray some more odor neutralizer?”
“This room is already full of your pheromones.”
“Ah, Hyung. I should leave right now—”
“Jeong-min, it’s really okay. Don’t worry. And strangely….”
Shin-woo suddenly stopped talking, as if thinking about something.
“Hyung?”
“No. It’s nothing. I’m fine. Now, tell me about yourself. How have you been?”
Shin-woo quickly changed the subject. Jeong-min discreetly observed him, wondering if he was hiding the fact that he wasn’t feeling well, but fortunately, there seemed to be no major issues. Still, just in case, Jeong-min moved to sit opposite him.
Jeong-min began to tell the stories Shin-woo was curious about. However, he did not mention Su-han, who had briefly entered his heart one day. It wasn’t that he wanted to hide it, but because it was a painful memory. Since it was in the past, he didn’t want to let it slip out easily.
After Shin-woo left, Jeong-min researched pheromone hypersensitivity again. Then, he suddenly remembered the research institute Shin-woo mentioned that was being established within the hospital.
“That research institute….”
It was an institute established in collaboration with Cal Front. Since he hadn’t heard of any other institute being created, it was certain. After searching for the institute in England to check its parent company, the name Cal Front clearly appeared.
“Ha.”
He knew it was inevitable. He knew Cal Front was the largest company in the world researching all trait-related drugs…. So, of course, they would conduct this research. When he thought of Shin-woo, he felt grateful that there was a lifeline to hold onto, yet somehow it felt unsettling.
Was it because of Kim Ju-hwan? He didn’t know if it was a coincidence or not, but why was everything connected to him? It was as if Kim Ju-hwan had prepared all of this from the beginning.