By Zephyria 
I’ve never been exhausted, hyung. How could I be? I was simply desperate. Desperate to be loved by you. Desperate to become your person… and that’s still the same now.
“I ran hard to get close, but I only got further away. It’s a road of no return. I have no intention of going back, but…”
Jeong-min’s tears soaked the ground. The lawn, once full of greenery, had long since died and turned yellowish from neglect.
“Let’s both escape now. Let’s find a new path. To do that, I think both you and I need to be apart. I also think I need to be away from Yeong-min.”
“Then… studying in America… is because of me…?”
“No. I told you. I think I can only escape if I’m away from Yeong-min. Only then can I settle things cleanly. If I stay in Korea, I’ll keep clinging to Yeong-min. I’m going for my own sake, so don’t think that. Also, research is better in the US, so I might be able to cure my illness faster.”
“Hyung, that’s not an illness.”
“To me, it is.”
“Hyung…”
“I hope we can both smile when we meet again. Jeong-min, I like it when you smile brightly.”
“Shin-woo hyung…”
“I’m sorry. Truly… I’m truly sorry to you. I’m sorry for thinking only of myself until the end.”
Shin-woo let go of the hand that had been holding Jeong-min’s cheek. Then, once more, he caressed Jeong-min’s hair with that large hand.
“Thank you for liking me.”
“When… when are you coming back?”
Instead of an answer, Shin-woo smiled. Perhaps that was the wisest answer for him. Because if a deadline had been set, Jeong-min would have waited.
And so, Yu Shin-woo left for America.
Two months later, Yeong-min announced his pregnancy and got engaged to the ‘Dominant Alpha’ he had so desired. Naturally, he dropped out of school. Jeong-min didn’t know if Shin-woo had heard the news, but he intentionally didn’t inform him. Of course, he didn’t know his contact information or anything else.
Only Jeong-min remained at the university where he once thought the three of them could spend time together as before. He attended school alone and lonely. However, he didn’t do it half-heartedly. Since his desire to become a doctor remained unchanged, he studied hard and received scholarships… and so, he was slowly letting go of his precious first love.
“Phew…”
On the day he received his diploma, Jeong-min smoked a cigarette in a corner of the campus where he used to hang out with Shin-woo and chuckled.
Shin-woo hyung.
Have you started your new beginning?
I’m going to start now. I’ll try. So you try too. And be happy. Please.
✽✽✽
Feeling a loud vibration, Jeong-min snapped his eyes open and looked at his pager. Fortunately, the pager was quiet, and he was able to close his eyes again. However, the vibration continued.
Realizing it was the phone he had tucked under his pillow, he felt annoyed. He wanted to turn off the phone, but since it could be his mother calling out of worry at this hour, or a senior doctor or nurse calling, he couldn’t ignore it and answered.
The clock he glanced at while answering showed 3:00 AM.
─ Why are you so late in answering the phone!!
Jeong-min regretted answering the phone at the sound of the shrill voice.
“Young-min… it’s 3 AM… I’ve been asleep for less than fifteen minutes.”
Moreover, this was a precious day off he had finally earned after two days of straight work.
─ Just listen to me!! That man, I swear!
He spoke pleadingly, but as expected, Young-min didn’t seem to hear him. From the background, the sound of Young-min’s second child, born six months ago, could be heard wailing loudly. No matter how lovely his nephew was, Jeong-min was currently just an exhausted person who wanted to rest; hearing a baby cry only made him irritable.
Knowing that simply hanging up would only make things more tiring, Jeong-min lowered the volume as much as possible, placed the phone on his stomach, and closed his eyes again.
Six months into his internship. He was experiencing firsthand what it meant for a place to be hell.
✽✽✽
“Oh, Dr. Shin, you’re here?”
“Yes. Grandmother, how are you feeling today?”
“I feel much better just seeing your handsome face.”
“Thank you.”
Though his internship was grueling, the one thing that provided Jeong-min with solace was the feeling that this truly was his calling.
He loved watching the process of sick patients overcoming their illnesses and being discharged. Of course, among them were those who departed for a place from which they could never return, but since many regained their health and left the hospital, it was okay.
“Aren’t you going home, Dr. Shin? I feel like I’ve seen that shirt for a few days now.”
“Do I smell?”
“Not that~ but your face is getting so gaunt that I think you’ll be the one lying in this bed soon.”
“Haha… To make sure that doesn’t happen, I’m going home today. It’s been three weeks.”
“Oh, that’s great! Get some good rest. Your mother will be so happy that her son is coming.”
He knew for sure that his mother would nag him once he got home. While she was happy that he became a doctor, she was constantly worried because she rarely saw him—almost as if he had been sent to the military—and he never stayed at home.
Furthermore, on the day he had returned home like a zombie after struggling through his first few weeks as an intern, his mother had wailed. Since that day, Jeong-min had tried his best not to cause her worry, but since the situation was difficult, he decided that from now on, he should at least shower before going home to look presentable.
After one storm—the morning rounds—passed, Jeong-min walked while taking a breather and saw his reflection in the mirror. Dressed in a white coat and moving diligently, he looked every bit the doctor. And now, no matter where he looked, he was an Alpha.
Knowing how difficult a medical career was, he had diligently managed his body, and as a result, both his physique and stamina were unmistakably those of an Alpha. He also possessed a pheromone that could melt an Omega anywhere, at any time. And….
“The weather is nice.”
He looked up at the blue sky.
A sky where someone had departed and was no longer present.
Into that sky, Jeong-min had also neatly folded his heart and let it go.
“Dr. Shin!! Page!!”
There really was no time to rest. He had just stepped outside for the first time today, and yet he was being paged after only a few minutes.
“Ah, yes!!”
At the sound of the voice calling him, Jeong-min quickly ran with vigor.
✽✽✽
Returning home after a long time felt more nostalgic than unfamiliar. It was almost enough to bring him to tears.
When he entered the house, dinner preparations were in full swing. As soon as Jeong-min had called to say he might be able to come home, it seemed the housekeeper and his mother had teamed up to prepare a lavish feast.
However, rather than eating that food, Jeong-min only wanted to sleep in his warm, cozy room.
Seeing her son, whose face had shrunk to half its size in three months, his mother’s eyes welled up with tears as she quickly sent Jeong-min upstairs, where he collapsed onto the bed and fell fast asleep.
He thought he would sleep for three days and two nights, but perhaps light sleeping had become a habit, as he woke up every thirty minutes, preventing him from getting deep sleep.
After repeating the cycle of sleeping and waking, he eventually hadn’t slept for more than two hours at a time. His stomach clock was precise, and he sat up with a growl of hunger. Checking the time, it was 9 PM. Scratching his head, Jeong-min opened the door and stepped out. He felt sorry for the housekeeper and his mother, but he felt he had to ask for food.
However, the moment he opened the door, Jeong-min regretted it instantly. He heard a hysterical voice.
“Mom! Why are you taking his side?!”
Young-min’s voice was attacking their mother. Jeong-min sighed. He debated whether he should go down or not. He didn’t have the physical or mental strength left to talk to or listen to Young-min right now. Why did he have to come today of all days….
“What on earth happened to Shin Jeong-min? He said he was coming today! Why won’t he just listen to me!”
“Now look here! Do you think Jeong-min is playing around? What are you saying to your Hyung who is resting at home for the first time in three months?”
“Then who told him to become a doctor?! Ugh, everything is so annoying!”
Jeong-min decided it was a lost cause and went back into his room. No matter what, he didn’t want his long-awaited rest to be interrupted by Young-min. Even if it was selfish, it couldn’t be helped. Young-min had already chosen his own life and was living it one way or another, and Jeong-min had the right to live his life as well.
Holding his hungry stomach, he flopped onto the bed and looked out the window. A sense of relief washed over him, realizing he was truly home, and sleep began to drift over him again. Just then, his phone rang.
Wondering if it was a page, he quickly checked it; it was Kim Ju-hwan. It was a text that didn’t require an immediate response, but since he had nothing else to do, he pressed the check button to find a short greeting.
[I went to the hospital today and saw you were off. I was going to ask if you wanted to grab a meal together… Please get some good rest, Sunbae.]
It was a truly useless text. Since Jeong-min became a doctor, Kim Ju-hwan had occasionally sent texts like this, and they were always these kinds of casual check-ins. There was never any important content. Of course, Jeong-min had never replied. He didn’t want to, and he simply found the fact that this connection still existed to be tedious.
“Come to think of it, it’s been quite a while since I saw him.”
Jeong-min was busy as an intern, and Ju-hwan was busy entering a company to learn management from the bottom up. They each had their own work, and since their directions were completely different, the connection that had barely survived through their families since university graduation had dwindled to a thin thread, leaving them at the level of mere ‘acquaintances.’
“Haaam.”
Jeong-min yawned and flopped back onto the bed. The phone slipped from his hand and fell to the floor. Soon, the sound of steady breathing filled the room.