By Zephyria 
When Jeong-min manifested as an Alpha, the Shin household was in a festive mood.
His half-siblings congratulated him, and even his father’s business partners sent congratulatory gifts to Jeong-min.
“Tsk, an Alpha, huh.”
Young-min sat on Jeong-min’s bed, tugging at the blanket and grumbling. With an expressionless face, Jeong-min took off the suit he had worn out today.
“Must be nice to be an Alpha.”
“…….”
“Hey, Shin Jeong-min. I said it must be nice!”
“…Yeah.”
“What? Why are you so indifferent? Are you acting high and mighty now? Or are you ignoring me because I’m an Omega?”
“What looks so great about it?”
“Are you kidding me? Alphas and Omegas are treated differently.”
“How old is that story? Besides, you wanted to be an Omega.”
That was how it used to be, but now that discrimination between Alphas and Omegas has largely faded, Alphas have begun to walk on eggshells around Omegas, knowing that if they treat them poorly, they might never find a partner.
“You’re still young, Shin Jeong-min. You still subconsciously think Alphas are more dominant. Ha, if I were an Alpha, I’d bed every Omega in this world.”
“You’re already bedding Alphas.”
Young-min looked slightly surprised by Jeong-min’s words, but soon burst into loud laughter.
“That’s true. Hehe. But when are you going to go bed an Omega? Isn’t it time you graduated from your virginity?”
The words Do you think I’m like you? almost escaped, but Jeong-min suppressed them.
“Young-min. I’m tired and I want to rest.”
“Ugh, fine! You’re so damn great.”
Young-min threw Jeong-min’s pillow onto the floor and stormed out of the room. Jeong-min knew that Young-min couldn’t help but be sensitive right now. It was because after Jeong-min became an Alpha, the entire family’s attention shifted solely to him. Since Alphas were rare, it was an inevitable phenomenon, but feeling sorry was still feeling sorry.
But that was all.
After changing into comfortable clothes, Jeong-min opened his desk drawer. Inside was a ring. The previous owner of this ring had probably forgotten it even existed.
“Haa.”
The ring, which had fit until recently, no longer did. It was because of the physical growth that had restarted as he manifested as an Alpha. Over the past ten days, he had grown slightly taller, and his body had changed into a constitution that built muscle easily, making him look more like an Alpha, unlike Young-min. This was by no means the image Jeong-min had desired.
Though he felt gloomy, he shook his head and tried the ring on his pinky finger—the only one it still fit—and kissed it.
I should forget and let go now. I should give up on everything. Even as he resolved this, Jeong-min couldn’t do it. He acted foolishly, clinging on with stubbornness. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew this… was not good for himself or for Shin-woo.
Ever since coming to the hospital, Shin-woo had been avoiding Jeong-min. He would talk to Young-min, but not to Jeong-min. He avoided him whenever he saw him. Even when their eyes met, he pretended not to notice. He didn’t visit the house, and there were no phone calls.
The reason was simple. Jeong-min knew. It was because Shin-woo wanted him to give up on his feelings.
“Shin Jeong-min, I heard you’re an Alpha?”
“Wow, congratulations.”
“Jeong-min! I heard you’re an Alpha?!”
It was about ten days after his awakening as an Alpha that Jeong-min began attending university again.
Everyone marveled at Jeong-min, who appeared with his hair cut short the day before. With his sharp bridge of the nose, firm lips, and clear brown eyes, he captured the gaze of Betas and Omegas alike.
But Jeong-min wasn’t interested. His eyes searched only for Shin-woo. However, as expected, he couldn’t find him. Would Shin-woo only meet him if he truly gave up?
But how does one give up? He didn’t know how to stop these feelings he had nurtured for over ten years. Surely, simply becoming an Alpha wouldn’t make that possible?
The first thing he did after becoming an Alpha was learn how to control his pheromones. Hearing that the pheromones of another Alpha could cause a sense of repulsion, Jeong-min controlled his own because he didn’t want to cause Shin-woo any discomfort.
He was told it was better to experience the first rut, but he took suppressants to ensure the rut wouldn’t come. Everything to make sure Shin-woo wouldn’t be uncomfortable. But was even that a useless effort now that he had become an Alpha?
“Jeong-min.”
Just as he was growing exhausted day by day, it was Shin-woo who stopped Jeong-min as he walked across campus. At the sound of the voice he had longed to hear, Jeong-min ran toward him as if drawn by a magnet.
“Shin-woo hyung!”
As Jeong-min ran up, Shin-woo gave an awkward smile.
“It’s been a while.”
Unable to get any closer due to that awkwardness, Jeong-min took a step back.
“Yeah, hyung… it’s been a while.”
“You’ve grown a lot in the meantime. Do your bones ache?”
Shin-woo raised his hand to compare their heights. Jeong-min had grown so much that he had almost caught up to him, who was 189 centimeters.
“You’re struggling through a growth spurt.”
They were engaging in casual conversation as if it were nothing. While listening quietly, Jeong-min wanted to ask him.
Hyung, why are you avoiding me? Do you hate seeing my face now that I’m an Alpha? Do you really want me to… give up on you?
“Um, Shin-woo.”
There were so many things he wanted to ask. He felt as if his chest would burst if he didn’t. Just as he carefully opened his mouth to survive, a man who had been hidden behind Shin-woo peeked his head out.
A cute face and a slender body. He was clearly an Omega. The moment Jeong-min saw the Omega, his heart sank. Had hyung found an Omega?
“Ah, Han-young. Sorry.”
Shin-woo smiled awkwardly and pushed the Omega forward.
“Jeong-min, meet him. He’s a friend from the club who joined recently… he asked me to introduce you to him.”
“Hello, Jeong-min. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Rather. If this had been an Omega hyung was newly dating, perhaps he wouldn’t feel this way. He felt as if he had suddenly fallen into hell. It felt as though all the blood had drained out and his body temperature had dropped. He felt a sadness so profound he wanted to disappear. Shin-woo had presented an Omega to him. That must mean he should try to get along with this Omega. Now that you are an Alpha, love only Omegas. Don’t even look at Alphas.
“Jeong-min?”
He is a cruel person. Fearing he would show a pathetic side of himself, Jeong-min hurried away from the spot.
“Jeong-min!”
He wished he could have been left alone, but Shin-woo insistently followed him, calling his name from behind. Not knowing how much of a dagger it was, he was cruelly stabbing Jeong-min.
“Jeong-min! Please!!”
Eventually, Shin-woo caught up and grabbed Jeong-min, and Jeong-min pushed him away. His breath was coming up to his throat; he felt as if he might die of respiratory failure. No, he wished he would just die.
“Why? Why are you introducing an Omega to me?”
“…Because you’re an Alpha now. You should meet a good person and…”
Why does hyung never once deviate from his expectations?
“I never wanted this.”
“Jeong-min.”
“Do you think my feelings for you will disappear if I date an Omega? If that were the case, I wouldn’t have started in the first place.”
It felt as if his heart was being torn apart.
“Are you asking me to accept the version of me that is an Alpha? That’s not it either. Couldn’t you have just waited until I could slowly organize my feelings? Hyung… can feelings held for over ten years be organized that easily?”
“I just thought it would be better for your future. There is absolutely no other meaning.”
“I decide my own future. Not you. And I told you before. I don’t need this.”
“No. If you meet an Omega… if you date an Omega, Alphas change. You’ll soon realize what kind of being you are. That’s how traits work. As if ordained by God, Alphas are drawn to Omegas, and Omegas to Alphas.”
“I didn’t come to like you because you’re an Alpha. And when I… when I liked you, I hadn’t even manifested yet.”
“That’s why I’m saying this. You’ll realize it too. That the feelings you had for me… were ultimately nothing.”
“You’re saying I’ll realize that if I meet an Omega?”
“Yes.”
“Haha…”
At Shin-woo’s firmness, Jeong-min wanted to cry.
“Hyung… you seem to have a talent for making me miserable.”
Fearing that further conversation with Shin-woo would leave him shattered and torn to pieces, Jeong-min quickly fled the scene. Why hadn’t he become an Omega?
He wanted to be an Omega. He wanted to be loved by that man. Why did he have to become an Alpha and be pushed aside? If these feelings were false, then what was real?
Jeong-min became genuinely curious. So, not long after, he started dating the Omega Shin-woo had introduced. They spent heat cycles together, went on dates, and he tried his best to give his heart.
In the end, as spring passed and summer faded, he still couldn’t give his heart to that Omega, and they broke up on the day autumn began. After the breakup, Jeong-min actually felt relieved. It was as if he had proven that what Shin-woo said was wrong.
And on that day, on his way home, Jeong-min bought an electronic cigarette.
“What scent would you like?”
Because it was an electronic cigarette, he could choose a scent. He could even sample them. It was a new world.
“The reason electronic cigarettes are preferred is that the scent masks pheromones. Some people even use their own Alpha or Omega scent. It doesn’t have the effect of a pheromone shower, but they say it feels like the person is with them.”
Listening to the clerk, Jeong-min thought. He considered choosing Shin-woo’s pheromone scent but shook his head. That would be too much like a stalker.
“Would you like to try this scent?”
He smelled the scent the clerk offered. It had a woody feel and was slightly cool—a scent that provided a sense of stability unlike anything he had smelled before. Surprised, Jeong-min chose that scent.
He sat in a park on his way home and smoked for the first time.
From that day on, the suffocating feeling inside him seemed to dissipate, if only a little.