By Zephyria 
“If we do this, they probably won’t even notice if we kiss.”
It happened in an instant. Lowering the umbrella to shield their faces, Lee Hae-sung pulled Choi Hong-seo close to his shoulder and gave him a quick peck before pulling away. Then, as if nothing had happened, he looked out at the night view to the right and marveled at it. Though it was barely visible through the blur of the rain…
Because it felt like a real date between a real couple, Choi Hong-seo didn’t bring up the stolen kiss; instead, he gripped Hae-sung’s waist tighter. Lee Hae-sung turned his head and kissed him again, right on the crown of his head above the hood.
Since returning from Bali, the two of them had occasionally visited Sowol-ro. Now that there was no longer any fear of dizziness triggered by places linked to the past, they could come whenever they wanted.
This was the road where they had their first date.
Back then, he hadn’t known he would come to love the man standing beside him this deeply.
“The clothes suit you well. I knew they would, but it’s much more than I expected.”
“Right? I thought it might look awkward, but it’s not bad, is it?”
“It’s more than just ‘not bad.’ Seeing you like this, even Dong-ha would have no choice but to admit that Hyung looks young for his age.”
Looking down at Choi Hong-seo’s aggrieved and pouting expression, Lee Hae-sung used the hand that had been holding his shoulder to give his lover’s cheek a gentle pinch.
Having a younger lover, he naturally paid attention to his appearance. However, while he wanted to look cool for Choi Hong-seo, Lee Hae-sung was generally indifferent to the opinions of others. That was why he found it even cuter whenever Choi Hong-seo reacted this way. He was like a child getting worked up over something trivial.
“How did you even think of buying couple shirts?”
“Actually… it was Manager Kang’s recommendation.”
“Manager Kang?”
Knowing that Choi Hong-seo still found Manager Kang intimidating, Lee Hae-sung was quite surprised.
And after hearing about the conversation Hong-seo had with Manager Kang while eating porridge, he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“That was probably Manager Kang’s own way of playing a prank.”
“A-A prank? No… he had a very serious expression, just like always.”
“That’s exactly why it’s Manager Kang’s kind of prank.”
Lee Hae-sung’s lips curved softly as he looked at his still-confused lover.
“If I go home dressed like this, he’ll probably be cheering inside that his prank worked.”
“Cheering? Manager Kang?”
“He won’t show it, but he probably will on the inside.”
Choi Hong-seo seemed to be trying to imagine Manager Kang cheering. But unable to picture it, he tilted his head, then suddenly pulled on Lee Hae-sung’s waist and looked up at him.
“Ah! Speaking of Manager Kang, I’ve decided on my penalty. What about you, Hyung?”
His eyes sparkled with anticipation, wondering what penalty had been prepared.
“Every time you call me ‘Ahjussi,’ you have to call me ‘Hae-sung-ah.’”
“Ah…”
“Calling me ‘Lee Hae-sung’ is also fine.”
“That’s a bit too rude. There’s a twelve-year age difference.”
“It’s a penalty. If you’re doing something you enjoy, it’s not a penalty.”
“I definitely thought you’d make me do something erotic…”
“You might not know, but you do almost everything erotic for me anyway. Even without a penalty.”
Choi Hong-seo glanced back to check if anyone was listening. Lee Hae-sung, laughing and shaking his shoulder because his lover was so cautious over such a conversation, had his laughter stolen the very next moment by his lover’s attack.
“Hyung’s penalty is eating cooked eggplant.”
“…What?”
“Eating cooked eggplant.”
Lee Hae-sung even came to a complete stop. He turned Choi Hong-seo, whose shoulder he was holding, to face him and leaned down to meet his eyes.
“Hong-seo, who taught you such nasty things?”
“Manager Kang did.”
“Ah… oh dear.”
He had hoped Choi Hong-seo would feel more comfortable with Manager Kang, but he hadn’t expected this kind of side effect. To think that the almost sole secret he had managed to keep from Choi Hong-seo until now would be leaked.
“Hong-seo, can’t you pick something else? Doing that with food is just too…”
“If you’re doing something you enjoy, it’s not a penalty.”
Mimicking exactly what Lee Hae-sung had said moments ago, Choi Hong-seo gave a playful wink. Seeing his lover enjoying himself by teasing him, Lee Hae-sung couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I see. I feel like I’m dying, but our Hong-seo looks so happy thinking about giving me a penalty.”
Wrapping his arm around Choi Hong-seo’s shoulder again and pulling him close, Lee Hae-sung began to walk slowly.
Tapping, tapping. The irregular sound of rain hitting the umbrella and the splashing sound of steps stepping into shallow puddles were pleasant to hear. The refreshing air mixed with the scent of rain—even the humidity he usually detested—wasn’t unpleasant. It didn’t feel damp; it felt moist.
While he liked getting lost in thought while admiring the rain, he didn’t prefer walking in it, but that could change depending on who he was with.
Every time he looked down at himself and Choi Hong-seo wearing the same gray hooded sweatshirts, he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading. He found this night walk utterly heartwarming and joyful.
“Now, it’s my turn to be happy.”
“Turn for what?”
“Why our Hong-seo is looking forward to turning fifty-five.”
“Ah…”
“Did you really think I’d forget? When it comes to things about you?”
Lee Hae-sung became genuinely curious about why he was hesitating and unable to speak. If Choi Hong-seo was this reluctant to open his mouth, could it be for an erotic reason…? Such a thought even crossed his mind.
“Choi Hong-seo, between people who share a bed, there are no se—”
“It’s not a secret. It’s just that it’s not a really grand reason. Honestly, I didn’t think you’d put it in the magazine. I thought it wasn’t a big deal, so I thought it would be cut…”
“Even if it’s not grand, you know I’m a devoted fan who’s dying of curiosity.”
Phew, Choi Hong-seo let out a sigh of resignation before he finally began to speak.
“Around the time we first met, when I walked here with you, Hyung. I was twenty-seven.”
“You were. A twenty-seven-year-old who looked twenty-two or twenty-three.”
Recalling the Choi Hong-seo of that day, who had been wary and intimidated by the Vice President of ARA, Lee Hae-sung wore a complex smile.
“When I turn fifty-five, the time I’ve spent loving you will be more than the time I lived not knowing you. That’s why…”
“……”
“See? I told you it was just a silly thought…”
Interpreting Lee Hae-sung’s silence in his own way, Choi Hong-seo brushed it off with embarrassment.
“Huh? Hasn’t the rain almost stopped?”
Awkwardly changing the subject, he reached his hand out from under the umbrella and ran ahead a bit.
Lee Hae-sung stood on the road, watching Choi Hong-seo without folding his umbrella.
To put it bluntly, this was the road where he had memories of desperately pursuing a twelve-year-younger idol to seduce him.
It was also the place where he had smoked alone and mocked himself for being insane, as ‘Yoon Hye-an,’ who was imitating the idol he had worked so hard to seduce, gradually stopped looking like ‘Yoon Hye-an.’
At the same time, it was the spot where he had asked the ‘Yoon Hye-an’ he could no longer see as such, if he could be held ‘like Choi Hong-seo.’
“Hong-seo, you said it, right?”
At Lee Hae-sung’s voice, Choi Hong-seo, who was five or six steps ahead, looked back.
“That we should live like that—getting angry when we’re mad, fighting over trivial things, and having passionate make-up sex.”
“……”
“Like other couples.”
“Because we can do that now, too.”
Lee Hae-sung, with the umbrella handle resting on his shoulder, came to a complete stop.
“No. We can’t do that.”
He spoke in a low yet firm tone.
He calmly gazed into Choi Hong-seo’s surprised eyes as he looked back.
The current Choi Hong-seo was different from the past Choi Hong-seo who had been submerged in a swamp. He smiled more often and without shadow, and he would demand things from Lee Hae-sung or become grumpy. He looked like an ordinary college student in his twenties with an older lover.
But there was a part of Choi Hong-seo that would never change.
His steadfast and rigid love for Lee Hae-sung.
In the past when he was Choi Hong-seo, in the moment he departed, and from the moment he returned until now. That love, which had not wavered or been corrupted for a single moment, was Choi Hong-seo’s fingerprint and fragrance.
He loved that version of Choi Hong-seo. He was a person well worth loving.
“Why? Why can’t we do that?”
Feeling wronged, Choi Hong-seo asked, clenching his fists beneath the sleeves of the oversized T-shirt.
“We have traveled through the Bardo together. We went to the boundary between life and death and fished each other out to return. No other couple can share such an experience. That’s why we… cannot be like them. I cannot love you like ordinary couples.”
“……”
“We are more than love.”
Because of the rain and mist, the night view was completely blurred. Because of that, they could see each other’s forms more clearly.
The lips of the standing Choi Hong-seo twitched. With the large hood pulled over his head and the strings tightened under his chin, Choi Hong-seo was still a ‘baby’ in Lee Hae-sung’s eyes.
Walking back the distance he had surged forward, as if angry, Choi Hong-seo suddenly lunged and hugged Lee Hae-sung tightly.
Pushed back half a step by the force, Lee Hae-sung embraced his lover’s back with a smile.
The world that had once gone black behind Lee Hae-sung’s back was now emitting a transparent light, blurred by the thin streaks of rain.
What he held in his arms was love, and more.