By Zephyria 
Like other couples.
The kind of ordinary relationship Choi Hong-seo had just mentioned was never easy or simple for the two of them. The long journey toward the peace they had finally grasped today flickered intensely in each other’s eyes. Like a wave rising quietly yet powerfully in the distant sea, unseen by anyone.
“And, Hyung…”
Choi Hong-seo had been maintaining steady eye contact and speaking softly, but suddenly, he crumpled the edge of the towel and furtively averted his gaze.
“Since you’re usually quite… intense. Please don’t worry that you pushed me too hard today.”
“You were about to call me a pervert, weren’t you?”
“……”
Choi Hong-seo affirmed with silence, and Lee Hae-sung simply laughed it off.
Normally, Hae-sung would have been persistent, tickling him or showering him with kisses until he confessed, but not today. It was because Choi Hong-seo’s reddened eyelids, exhausted from the sex, looked too heavy.
“Are you sleepy?”
As he asked quietly, stroking the corner of his eye with his thumb, Hong-seo nodded, slowly blinking his half-closed eyelids. Whenever he looked like this, he still seemed like a fresh youth in his early twenties.
“Let’s think about the penalty slowly. I think it’ll be a very enjoyable dilemma.”
Pulling the sheets over to wrap Choi Hong-seo’s naked body tightly, Lee Hae-sung whispered in an even lower voice, careful not to wake his lover. Even as he settled deep into the plush pillow, Choi Hong-seo looked up at Lee Hae-sung with eyes full of drowsiness.
“You’re busy. You’re really going to spend time thinking about that?”
“Stop chattering and go to sleep.”
“Hyung… you too, quickly…”
Before he could finish saying for his Hyung to come and lie down beside him, he drifted off into sleep.
■
The quiet outskirts of LA.
A small two-story building coated in red clay, visible after passing a Mexican restaurant and a laundromat.
Standing there in the bleached white sunlight, the place was exactly as he remembered.
Standing before the arched window, Choi Hong-seo carefully examined the poster.
Rampas Solo Exhibition
《Come Back》
When he opened the heavy white iron door and entered, Michelle was nowhere to be seen. Did she step out for a moment?
He paced around, waiting for her for a while, but there was no sign of her. As if drawn by something, Choi Hong-seo began to climb the stairs to the second floor. Gripping the strap of his crossbody bag tightly, he ascended step by step with a prayerful devotion.
“……”
In a completely white space overflowing with sunlight, he—Lee Hae-sung—was standing there.
Wearing the ivory boat-neck knit he had worn that day they walked through Namsan together.
In the reflecting light, he looked like an angel.
Everything was exactly as remembered, exactly as experienced. Choi Hong-seo was moved and grateful for that.
Lee Hae-sung slowly turned his head to look at Choi Hong-seo.
The moment Hong-seo tried to smile back at him, he realized there was something strange about his expression and gaze.
He wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was passing right through Choi Hong-seo.
Hmm…
Like someone waiting for a person who will never come, a heavy, lonely, and disappointed groan escaped his closed lips.
“Ah… Ajusshi… why are you like this…”
The gaze that had passed through Choi Hong-seo now moved past him toward the window.
“Ajusshi, I’m here… I kept my promise! Please look at me, Ajusshi… Ajusshi!”
Unable to even finish climbing the stairs, he screamed, nailed to the spot, twisting the bag strap tightly with both hands. Yet, it seemed his voice did not reach him. Tears streaked down his cheeks. He was paralyzed by fear, unable to move even if he wanted to.
With a lonely and pained expression, Lee Hae-sung looked around the gallery once and then walked toward him.
“Ajusshi… you’re joking, right? Because I came a little late… you’re doing this on purpose, right?”
Even Choi Hong-seo’s tear-choked voice couldn’t stop him. With a hollow face, as if the last shred of hope had been stripped away, Lee Hae-sung walked right through Choi Hong-seo’s body.
The moment they collided, Choi Hong-seo’s physical form shattered into tens of thousands of droplets. Like raindrops falling from the sky and bursting upon hitting the asphalt.
The now-empty second floor of the gallery was no longer overflowing with sunlight or brightness. The sunlight, which had retreated in an instant, burned yellow within a handkerchief-sized border by the window before finally turning to ash.
■
“Hong-seo, Hong-seo?”
A voice suppressed to hide urgency.
“Choi Hong-seo. Open your eyes. You have to look at me, Hong-seo…”
The touch of a hand stroking his cheek and forehead, and a tenderly calling voice.
Ugh… With a pained groan, Choi Hong-seo managed to lift his eyelids.
“Hyu… Hyung… Hae-sung Hyung…”
“Yes, it’s me. I’m here, Hong-seo.”
He took Choi Hong-seo’s hand and placed it directly on his own cheek, as if confirming that he was definitely here.
Even though his lips touched his palm, he didn’t feel the usual warmth. It was unclear whether he was still wandering in a dream or if he had finally escaped it.
“Can… can you see me?”
“I can see you very well. I’m watching over you, so don’t worry.”
“You can hear my voice too, right?”
“I can. You were calling me so desperately. That’s why I woke you up.”
“Thank goodness. Thank goodness…”
The cries that hadn’t reached him in the dream seemed to have reached the man before him in reality. Muttering to himself that it was a relief, Choi Hong-seo grabbed the hand on his cheek and rubbed his face against it. Now that he had regained some clarity, he saw that Lee Hae-sung was fully dressed in a suit, minus the jacket. He had likely stopped by the bedroom just before leaving for work and found Choi Hong-seo suffering from a nightmare.
To reassure Choi Hong-seo, he forced a smile. Leaving one hand to Hong-seo, he used the other to carefully brush back the sweat-soaked hair from his forehead.
“Did you have a dream?”
Hong-seo met his gaze and nodded.
“You called me so sorrowfully. I must have been very mean to you in your dream.”
Lee Hae-sung didn’t bother asking what the dream was about. He simply carefully wiped away the tears flowing down Choi Hong-seo’s temples. He had been crying in reality, not just in the dream.
“It’s okay. You have a fever, so you had a slightly bad dream. It was all just a dream.”
“Do I… have a fever?”
His voice was miserably sunken, his mouth and throat bone-dry. That’s why his lips didn’t feel warm. Because I was too hot.
“Yes, you’re burning up. Maybe… our play yesterday was too much.”
His face looked self-reproaching, as if he felt he had been too persistent, intense, and unconventional with the sex for Choi Hong-seo’s body to handle.
“Still, it was good.”
“It was good?”
Lee Hae-sung’s eyes widened as he looked down at his lover, who had become bluntly honest due to the fever.
“I wondered if I could ever get any closer to Hyung than that.”
“……”
“I felt like we got even closer.”
The smile Lee Hae-sung wore while looking at him lovingly gradually crumbled. It looked less like a smile and more like he was holding back tears. Leaning deeper, he kissed Choi Hong-seo’s hot forehead, eyelids, and the bridge of his nose, whispering softly.
“I’m not going to work today; I’ll stay by your side. Sleep deeply and peacefully.”
“You can’t. Go to work.”
“I can’t either.”
He was firm.
“If I go to work while you’re like this, I won’t be able to focus on anything. You know that.”
He was still prone to worrying even if Choi Hong-seo was only slightly ill. What was he so afraid of that he became so anxious? Even without saying it aloud, both of them knew the reason. While their minds knew that everything had been settled, their spirits had not yet fully overcome the past.
“It’s just a light cold. It’s… not that. You know that too, Hyung.”
“Yes, it’s a light cold. But I’m the kind of person who makes a fuss even if Hong-seo just gets a paper cut on his finger.”
“A person like that… yesterday, you were so…”
“Sex is a separate matter.”
As he adjusted the blanket, Lee Hae-sung smiled with a hint of playfulness. Even in the dim light, it was a trembling smile.
“Still, you really can’t. This is an important time. If my cause leads to a setback in your work… I’ll really be devastated.”
“……”
“I’m fine, so go to work. Hurry.”
Reaching an arm out from under the blanket, he pushed Lee Hae-sung’s lower abdomen where he was perched on the edge of the bed. He was wearing one of the ties Choi Hong-seo had gifted him today as well.
“If you do this every time, I won’t even be able to be sick with a peaceful mind. Hurry.”
After fiddling with the hand pushing his stomach, he let out a “Hmm” and stood up. Even then, he stood there for a moment with his hands on his hips, unable to leave the bedside. His tilted head revealed his dissatisfaction.
“Am I really going? Am I not needed anymore?”
Rustle, rustle. Scratch, scratch. He ignored the familiar small noises coming from outside the door and waited for Choi Hong-seo’s answer.
“You know it’s not because I don’t want to be with you, Hyung.”
Only after hearing the answer in a powerless voice from a pale face did Lee Hae-sung go to the door to greet the visitor.
“We have a guest coming for a sick visit?”
Returning with Tiffany in his arms, Lee Hae-sung placed the creature on the bed. Nyaa. Tiffany immediately approached Choi Hong-seo’s side and circled around as if checking his complexion.
“Tiffany, keep a good eye on Hong-seo for me. Okay? I’m trusting you and going to work, Ajusshi?”
Niyaaa.
As if answering Lee Hae-sung’s words, as if saying to leave it to her, Tiffany lifted her chin and made a spirited sound. Only then did the two of them look at each other and smile.