DKM 20

“Other people treat the members of the Moyong Clan as a joke, saying they’ve gone mad, but I couldn’t bear the thought that I might be beyond redemption.”

Tears streamed down between Soseo’s fingers.

“But regardless of that, I sometimes hate myself. There are times when I feel I’m far too sensitive.”

I hurriedly denied Soseo’s words.

“Why are you sensitive? No, you’re not like that at all.”

“My father tells me to shake off the things of the past. He actually lives his life that way. But I can’t. I don’t have the confidence to live while forgetting everything that happened. Even now, it all comes back to me as vividly as if it happened yesterday.”

“Soseo.”

“My mother, sobbing and begging me to take her hand and bring glory to the family in her stead, and my father, who sent her there using the excuse of familial duty. But the most painful part is… that I am gradually becoming like my maternal grandfather.”

“Why do you think that…?”

“I told you. My grandfather was a man with an immense desire for honor. He feared being insignificant more than anything. And at some point, I too became most afraid of being forgotten by people, of becoming an existence that no one looks at.”

Soseo continued to sob.

“I resent the people who made me this way, yet at the same time, [stolen content][visit our site]I want to be someone they can be proud of. I started caring about what expression I make, how I [unauthorized copy]speak, and how I behave. I’ve lost control over myself.”

“….”

“I don’t even know what kind of person I am anymore. Am I really a sensitive person, as my father says? Or just a madman, as the servants say? No matter how much I think about it, I don’t know. Myoha, what kind of person am I, really?”

At that question, I thought deeply for a moment and then shook my head.

“I’m sorry, I can’t answer something that important.”

“Why? Why? You too, you also…!”

“Because I’m afraid you’ll define who you are based on a few words from me. That’s something you truly have to think about and conclude for yourself. But I can tell you this.”

I placed my hand on Soseo’s shoulder.

“No matter how you think of yourself, I will forever think of you as someone I’m grateful for.”

“…Why?”

“Because you understood me, no matter how stupid my questions were. I felt like other people would either blatantly not understand or laugh at me, so I couldn’t even ask, but after a brief moment of confusion at first, you explained things more kindly than anyone else. To be honest, I was more grateful for that than for you finding me a job or giving me delicious food.”

Tears flowed down Soseo’s cheeks again. I spoke one last time.

“I really like you.”

“…This probably isn’t in the sense I want, but it doesn’t matter.”

As Soseo lowered his palm, the face he had been hiding was fully revealed. Soseo’s face was drenched in tears, but he looked more relieved and lighthearted than ever. Wiping away the bead-like tears from the corners of his eyes, Soseo said,

“Thank you. I really like you too.”

“Really? I’m glad we feel the same way.”

“I doubt it’s the same feeling.”

“Huh?”

Soseo leaned his head on my shoulder.

“Sorry, I’ll just stay like this for a moment.”

“You don’t have to be sorry at all. You can stay like this as long as you want.”

I patted Soseo’s back. It was a night where the full moon in the sky was exceptionally bright.

“I believe I shall return to the Moyong Clan now.”

The next day, Moyong Hwa appeared and blurted this out without warning. Read on Read BL NovelsSoseo, who visit our sitewas drinking Read on Read BL Novelstea with us in the temporary quarters provided by the servants, replied leisurely.

“Is that so? Travel back safely.”

At Soseo’s answer, Moyong Hwa’s haughty expression momentarily distorted. However, after a moment, Moyong Hwa forced the corners of his mouth upward. It was a smile more awkward and unnatural than ever, but we couldn’t say anything. That was because Moyong Hwa looked that distressed. Moyong Hwa asked nonchalantly,

“I see you aren’t particularly sad that I’m leaving?”

“I am sad. But what can we do.”

Soseo spoke smoothly, like a snake slipping over a wall.

“Seeing as you’re saying such things, it seems your travel fatigue has completely worn off. There is no law that says one must forcibly keep a fully recovered person here. And besides, you have a sensitive palate.”

“….”

“You know you have to go back alone, right? Your mother’s condition is still not good. I’ll send her back as soon as her state improves, so you go ahead first.”

Soseo drove the point home.

“Take care of yourself. Be sure to give my regards to your aunt.”

Moyong Hwa’s bloodshot eyes glared at Soseo. It was a gaze so fierce that we, standing behind, flinched, but Soseo remained composed. He was like a cat watching a mouse beneath its paws struggle pointlessly. Ah, actually, Moyong Hwa was a mouse beneath his paws. He had fainted in the martial arts training ground without even being able to resist Soseo. Then, Moyong Hwa asked,

“Why are you so calm?”

“Am I not allowed to be calm?”

“Weren’t you the type of person who, once angry, would shut yourself in your room for days without coming out, Brother?”

“I was. But you don’t have to worry, as that won’t happen anymore.”

Moyong Hwa gnashed his teeth. Then, he pointed a finger at me.

“…Is it because of that brat?”

Eh? Me? Suddenly singled out, I awkwardly avoided Moyong Hwa’s gaze. But under Myoryeong’s piercing stare, I had to turn my head to the opposite side. Myoryeong’s fierce expression seemed to ask, ‘What did you do while I wasn’t looking?’ No, but I just listened to Soseo’s worries. Anyone can listen to a friend’s worries. While I fidgeted, trying to think of an excuse under Myoryeong’s single glare, Soseo remained relaxed. With a gentle smile as usual, Soseo said,

“I don’t know why you’re asking that. You already know my answer.”

Moyong Hwa’s face turned red and blue.

“…To think that the great Paeng Soseo would rely on a mere servant of all people. Are you not afraid of how others will see you? Can you still call yourself the successor of the Paeng Clan?”

“I don’t care.”

“What?”

“I said I don’t care. No matter what others think.”

“…I never dreamed that Brother was such a weak person.”

Moyong Hwa’s already rough breathing became even more labored. He spoke while trembling with rage. However…

“I’m almost ashamed that I overestimated you until now. I will never rely on someone like you. No matter how hard it is, I will crawl up stubbornly and one day, I will surely stand above you.”

Tears had begun to well up in Moyong Hwa’s eyes. My and Myoryeong’s eyes widened.

“I will definitely prove to Grandfather that I am superior to you.”

“Yes, work hard.”

Soseo offered words of encouragement to Moyong Hwa in a truly warm voice.

“I’ll be rooting for you.”

As soon as those words fell, shame clouded Moyong Hwa’s eyes. Moyong Hwa stormed out of the room, and Soseo nonchalantly refilled the empty teacup. However, I didn’t think Soseo was being too harsh. Though I felt bad for Moyong Hwa, I felt the same as Soseo. There’s no need to be unnecessarily kind to someone who hates you. I went to close the door. Or rather, I tried to.

“Young Master, would it be alright if I stepped out for a moment?”

“Eh? Why?”

“I think I need to have a word with my brother.”

“Of course it’s fine, go ahead.”

As soon as Soseo gave his permission, Myoryeong grabbed my wrist and rushed outside. Once in the garden, Myoryeong began to interrogate me like a wildfire.

“What happened with the Young Master yesterday?”

“Nothing much. Soseo told me his worries, and I just listened.”

“As if you just listened!”

Myoryeong shook me violently.

“I can see it clearly. You probably acted all sweet like a romance fantasy male lead again!”

“I wasn’t acting sweet, I was just being mannerly. You know that. My dream is to be a person overflowing with courtesy, like a romance fantasy male lead!”

“It’s not just courtesy you’re overflowing with, it’s flirtatiousness! Get a grip, why do you go around flirting everywhere! Do you think Martial Artists, who know nothing but swinging swords, are immune to your behavior?!”

“I told you I wasn’t flirting! I really didn’t do anything. I just stayed by Soseo’s side when he was depressed and let him know that I’m on his side.”

“…Ah, seriously, I’m going crazy.”

Myoryeong closed his eyes tight.

“If acting like that is what being friends is, I want to scream that I have no friends in the world.”

I was deeply shocked by Myoryeong’s words. I asked in a trembling voice,

“Am I not your friend?”

Perhaps it was an unexpected question, as Myoryeong hesitated for a moment before hugging me in a panic.

“Of course you’re my friend! You are absolutely my friend! That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to say that. But you’d better be careful. If you keep this up… no. No matter what happens, there’s no way you, who’s only ever read straight stories, would take my words seriously.”

Myoryeong sighed.

“Just know one thing. I’m on your side no matter the situation.”

“Me too. I’m always on your side too.”

“Yeah, you honey-dripping piece of manners and flirtation.”

Myoryeong and I shared a light hug and went back inside. Soseo said as he brought out two additional teacups,

“I have something to say before I go see my mother.”

Myoryeong and I sat in the chairs as Soseo instructed. I asked,

“What is it?”

Could it be something serious like yesterday? What if he has more worries? I looked at Soseo with concerned eyes. How many worries is a child who is only thirteen years old carrying? Perhaps my concern was obvious, as Soseo spoke as if to reassure me.

“It’s not bad news, so you don’t have to make that face.”

“Ah, really? That’s a relief.”

“Yes, I just wanted to let you know that I plan to train even harder from now on.”

Our eyes widened. No, this is serious in its own way! We were appalled.

“Even harder than that?!”

“That’s nonsense. You’ll ruin your health, Young Master!”

He’s already training so hard that he’d need several bodies to keep up, and he wants to do it even harder? With barely any break time!