Chapter 41 – ​The ​Price ​of ​a ​Misjudgment

The ​car ​was ​silent ​on the way to ​the ​columbarium on the ​outskirts of the ​city.

Even ​if ​Jeong ​Si-jun ​was ​a man who ​lived ​however ​he pleased, he ​possessed a minimum level ​of tact. ​He could ​understand the ​context without ​having ​to ​pry. He vaguely ​recalled hearing ​the news of Yoon ​Ki-hyun’s father’s passing and ​sending condolence money.

While Jeong ​Si-jun tended ​to ​treat his professional life like trash, ​he quite faithfully followed ​his ​family’s ​teaching ​that ​one must properly ​attend to ​family ​events and funerals.

Yoon ​Ki-hyun, ​who had been staring out ​the window ​with ​a pale face, ​suddenly ​spoke ​up.

“It’s ​my ​father.”

“What is?”

“Where ​we’re ​going.”

Sitting in ​the passenger seat, his gaze remained fixed ​outside. His face ​was deeply immersed ​in thought. Jeong Si-jun ​didn’t go ​out of his ​way ​to mention that ​he had sent ​money or ​that ​he already ​knew.

Yoon ​Ki-hyun already ​looked ​upon his ​speech ​habits ​and behavior with ​distaste. ​He was ​already ​in ​a ​position where he needed to make a good impression; he didn’t want to make a needless slip of the tongue.

“I didn’t get along with my father. [[stolen content]stolen contentstolen content -->class="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">unauthorized copy]Rather than ‘not getting along,’ it would be more accurate to say we were practically strangers.”

“…….”

“It’s kind of ridiculous that I’m visiting a man who only sought me out once he got sick after we hadn’t seen each other since I was a child, just because I had some strange dreams, but…”

Yoon Ki-hyun trailed off after muttering quietly.

‘Why go into such tedious detail about something so unpleasant?’

As if possessed by something, he had said things that didn’t need to be said. If he couldn’t even keep his own troubled heart in check, what on earth did he expect to achieve in his professional life?

Since words already spoken cannot be taken back, it was time to stop. Jeong Si-jun was strictly his employer, not someone he should be pouring out his private history to.

“Even if it’s a superstition, it’s more peaceful for the mind to check if something feels unsettling,” Jeong Si-jun replied in a nonchalant tone after a long silence.

He wasn’t wrong. It would be more peaceful to confirm it with his own eyes, but Yoon Ki-hyun wasn’t particularly thrilled about leaving his workplace during official business hours for such a reason.

He wondered how he had ended up having this kind of conversation with Jeong Si-jun. Lately, he had been feeling more and more that one truly never knows what will happen in life.

“You’re still a devoted son, though.”

At Jeong Si-jun’s words, Yoon Ki-hyun turned his head. The profile of the [unauthorized visit our sitecopy]man focusing on the road looked incredibly solemn.

Lately, he had mostly seen a face pouting while throwing tantrums and being annoying, but he wondered if the man was capable of such an expression.

“Devoted son?”

When Yoon Ki-hyun asked back, Jeong Si-jun continued.

“You said you didn’t get along, but you’re visiting because you’re worried. If the relationship were truly terrible, you would’ve just dismissed a disturbing dream as a random fluke and wouldn’t have come at all.”

“No, I hated my father. Why would I care about a man who only comes looking for his child once he’s sick?”

Yoon Ki-hyun found the term ‘devoted son’ uncomfortable. Rather than uncomfortable, ‘repugnant’ would be more accurate.

It was an instinctive rejection. Was there even a bond to speak of with his father to justify such a cringeworthy term?

“I just couldn’t abandon my father because I wanted to pretend to be a good person. I hated the idea of people pointing fingers at me.”

“Pretend to be a good person?”

“Honestly, I didn’t want to be called the son who abandoned his pitiful, sick father. I was already overwhelmed by that ‘public asset’ nonsense; I didn’t want to be called a bastard on top of that. That’s why I even took out loans to pay for the hospital bills.”

“…….”

“You can think of me as a pushover. I think so too.”

As he turned his head, his face was reflected in the passenger window. Even though there was no reason to be angry, the face expressing anger looked pathetic.

In truth, he knew this was just misplaced venting.

Jeong Si-jun was a complete stranger to the relationship between him and his father. There was no reason for the man to hear these things, nor were they in a relationship where such things were shared.

However, he couldn’t bear the suffocating feeling lodged somewhere between his esophagus and his solar plexus. Of all people, why did Jeong Si-jun have to be the one next to him at a time like this?

Now that he had poured it out like an excretion, his heart felt somewhat lighter, but how Jeong Si-jun viewed him was a separate issue.

Since it was a situation where it would be perfectly understandable for the other to snap and ask why he was suddenly acting out, Yoon Ki-hyun was tentatively gauging his reaction.

Far from being angry, Jeong Si-jun asked back with a voice that held a hint of a smile.

“Doesn’t that make you a devoted son? Whether the relationship was good or bad, you took care of your father despite what you say.”

“I didn’t cry at the funeral, and except for the first day, I wasn’t even sad.”

Yoon Ki-hyun shot back as if to refute him.

The reason he added unnecessary words was that it was actually true. While greeting the mourners at the funeral hall, he had been plagued by a fatigue that weighed down his entire body, leaving him with no energy to cry. Rather than sadness, he had felt nothing but relief.

“Do you have to sob your eyes out to be sad? Isn’t it possible that the way people grieve is different for everyone, or that there are many types of sadness?”

Jeong Si-jun brought the car to a gentle stop and looked at Yoon Ki-hyun. He quirked an eyebrow as if asking what the problem was, but there was no sign of condemnation.

“And even if you truly didn’t care about your father, it’s not a bad idea to check in once, because if something happens at the columbarium, it’ll just be another minor headache. Don’t think too deeply about it. Thinking too much only gives you a headache.”

It was certainly true. However, it felt dissonant because it didn’t match Jeong Si-jun’s usual image.

Wasn’t this the same guy who frequently deposited money under the guise of settlement fees, claiming he remembered something he felt sorry for, and even brought random gifts?

It was unexpected that a man who acted so recklessly could speak so normally and rationally.

‘Is he… trying to comfort me? Jeong Si-jun?’

Regardless of Jeong Si-jun’s true intentions, Yoon Ki-hyun felt a sense of solace from his attitude and words. Ridiculously so.

“What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“How am I looking at you?”

“You’re looking at me like I’m something of a surprise. Right now.”

Jeong Si-jun’s eyebrow twitched again. Ah, he definitely looks like he’s in a bad mood now. Yoon Ki-hyun let out a small laugh while gauging Jeong Si-jun’s emotional shift.

“It’s just… it doesn’t fit your usual image…?”

“Ah, seriously, even when someone puts thought into comforting you.”

At Jeong Si-jun’s grumbling return to a blunt tone, Yoon Ki-hyun burst into laughter involuntarily.

Jeong Si-jun was the first person to say such things to him after hearing the rough details of his situation.

His friends’ reactions had all been along the lines of “Are you crazy?” or “That’s so suffocating.” Some had even said that because of his craving for affection, he might ruin his own life one day.

Hearing these words from a person he had loathed until recently made him feel strange.

Should he say he was seeing Jeong Si-jun in a new light?

‘I feel… a bit strange right now.’

Yoon Ki-hyun was smiling, but it almost seemed as if he were crying.

As Jeong Si-jun observed Yoon Ki-hyun’s peculiar expression, his own mind was equally complicated.

‘Seeing as he mentioned loans, the hospital bills must have been beyond what a Center salary could handle…’

Had the loans been settled? His thoughts continued to spiral.

As far as Jeong Si-jun knew, the illness Yoon Ki-hyun suffered from cost twenty million won in medication alone every month. He had lived in a goshiwon, resigned from the Center, and then returned as a personal Guide after receiving his offer.

‘Even if it’s less than that now, wasn’t it a level that could be covered to some extent by a Center salary?’

Something didn’t add up.

Even if the loans were settled, since he had a disease requiring expensive treatment, resigning from the Center would make treatment bleak. If the loans still remained, it made even less sense.

Jeong Si-jun recalled the Yoon Ki-hyun he had encountered in that strange city. He still remembered the pale face looking down at him, wearing the scent of alcohol like perfume. And then there was the way they had reunited at the bar.

Thinking back, Yoon Ki-hyun seemed like a person who had let go of everything at that time.

Turning his head, he looked at the man in the passenger seat. The pretty beauty still had a face that openly revealed his troubled state.

They were currently heading to the columbarium where his father was enshrined.

The father’s hospital bills. Loans. A disease with medication costing twenty million won. The fact that he had stayed in a strange city.

It was an extreme thought, but based on the clues available, there was only one conclusion.

‘Could he have been trying to kill himself?’

Jeong Si-jun traced the profile of Yoon Ki-hyun, who was staring blankly out the window. He couldn’t bring himself to ask. It was far too private and rude to ask based on a mere assumption.

‘Nah, probably not.’

He tried his best to deny it, but the hypothesis he had already conceived continued to float in his mind.

If his assumption were true, what should he do? No, in the first place, was there even anything he could do?

Throughout the drive, Jeong Si-jun kept glancing at the man in the passenger seat.

That pale face staring blankly out the window. That face continued to weigh on his mind.