2.3 – Yi-han or Lee Han Cheo-eum
“Hmm. Bunk beds… are the worst for sex.”
Lying face down on my chest, drawing unknown shapes around my areolas with his finger, he muttered in a dissatisfied voice.
Because the entire bed rattled even with a slight movement of the hips, he had to adjust his strength several times during the act. Considering his usual intensity, I burst out laughing, thinking it was understandable that he’d be dissatisfied.
“Don’t laugh… If Hyung laughs, I’ll start vibrating right now.”
Even after ejaculating, he remained inside me, his shoulders twitching.
“I’d welcome it if we were in a situation where we could go one more round, but…”
Adding that, he lifted his wrist to check the time. Seeing him naked, wearing only a steel wristwatch, felt somewhat embarrassing as it vividly showed the urgency of their sexual encounter.
His shirt and tie were somewhere on the table. His pants were scattered on the floor along with boxes, wine bottles, and glasses. My clothes, which he had hurriedly stripped off, were crumpled haphazardly all over the bed.
“I don’t want to go.”
He buried his lips in my neck again and lay down, and I ran my fingers through his hair. The moist, soft black hair felt pleasant.
“You’ve changed so much.”
“I have?”
Resting his chin on my collarbone, he asked slyly. I smiled and pinched his cheek.
“Where did that softy go who couldn’t even look me in the eye… talking about bunk beds being the worst, and vibrations, and whatnot…”
“I don’t think I was exactly a softy back then either… but it’s true I was weak for Hyung. I was young and had no idea what to do.”
As if tracing back through some part of his memory, he looked down and smiled faintly. Perhaps he was recalling the terrace of the ‘Mio Palazzo’ restaurant and the outdoor tables of the plaza pizzeria.
His eyes soon turned back to me calmly.
“I was young… and it was so intense… that I felt like I was going to die.”
“……”
“When Hyung entered my sight in Bangkok. I felt like I was going to die then, too.”
“……”
Phew. His short exhale leaked into my lips. Supporting himself on his elbows, he continued while touching my cheek.
“Even after meeting several times since coming to Seoul… I couldn’t believe the person in front of me. I was trembling… I felt like if I looked away for a second, or if I made even one small mistake, that person would disappear. Like it would all become nothing. So I was scared…”
After a bit of light rambling, he bit his lip tightly for a moment. Then, as if releasing a held breath, he confessed.
“I’m still like that toward Jeong Ji-in. My insides are no different from back then.”
This time, I couldn’t just brush it off with a clumsy joke.
Standing in the cramped kitchen of this house, Read on Read BL NovelsBL Novels -->he had said it was okay that I hadn’t sent the emails. That the fact I hadn’t forgotten was enough.
In the past, we weren’t in a relationship where we held responsibility for each other.
But it was true that we felt a special attraction, a special emotion beyond simple liking. We simply hadn’t spoken of it because we feared the breakup that had been decided before we could even start something.
His confession felt like a continuation of that hotel room from seven years ago. It wasn’t an atmosphere of “let’s try again since we happened to reunite and keep it as a memory.”
He had kept those emotions intact without a single flaw, but I felt I hadn’t… and out of a stinging guilt, my gaze drifted down toward his lips.
“I work here, earn money here, and live here. Where would I go? Is it that easy?”
I diverted the conversation as if making an excuse.
With the hand that had been touching my cheek, he slightly lifted my chin. It was a sign for me to look at him.
Since he was someone who, in the past, wouldn’t have dared to demand something of me this way, even for something so trivial, the change felt fresh and surprising.
“You told me several times while drunk that you’d return to Italy if this casting fell Read stolen contenton Read BL Novelsthrough. Do you know how scared I was then?”
His tone and expression were so serious that I actually let out a small laugh.
“I’m tied down until this project ends, so Yi-han can put his mind at ease for a while.”
“……”
I had said it to be lighthearted, but it didn’t seem to work on him. Feeling awkward for unintentionally making him anxious, I shifted the topic back to him.
“You said your goal was to work in Europe after graduating. Aren’t you the one who’ll leave Seoul before me, Yi-han?”
“You… remember that?”
“I told you I remember everything important. It just took time to recognize you because you’ve changed so much.”
At the plaza pizzeria, he had said that it would take time, but he was aiming to work in Europe.
Ridiculously, while listening to that story, a faint expectation had bloomed within [[Read on Read BL Novels]class="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">unauthorized copy]me for a moment. I had told myself what kind of unsuitable dream was I dreaming about someone I’d only made a few days of memories with at a travel destination. I had immediately thrown cold water on that expectation, but I couldn’t deceive myself.
He was twenty at the time. Even if he came to Europe as planned, he’d have to finish school, build a career there first… it was a distant future, taking 7 to 8 years or perhaps even longer.
Since I was far from romantic or optimistic, I couldn’t believe that I had momentarily tried to pin my hopes on such a distant future.
That was why I remembered. Because it was an emotion unlike myself.
“Did I really change that much?”
He asked with a joyful expression, resting his chin on my chest. With his smooth manners and confident sophistication stripped away, his face seemed closer to the one from the past.
The boy who had stood on the boundary between a youth and a young man at twenty was now before me, inside me, as a full-grown adult man.
I brushed back the hair falling over his forehead.
“Now that I know everything, I wonder why I didn’t recognize you…”
I asked, looking closely at his face once more.
“You grew taller, right?”
“Hmm… probably about 6 to 7 cm since my freshman year of college?”
He wasn’t short back then either, but he wasn’t an overwhelmingly tall person. His build was closer to being slender compared to now.
“In my memory, your face was quite tanned, too.”
“I didn’t have as many opportunities for outdoor activities after graduation as I did in college. It just happened naturally. Well, I probably lost some baby fat, too.”
Saying that while stroking his chin, he continued, tracing the lines of my face with his fingertips.
“I always liked exercising, but I worked hard on my body after that. My weight probably increased by more than 10 kg since then. Since most of that increase was muscle mass, my frame got much larger. I thought someone who likes being pressured would prefer a thicker body.”
“You built your body for someone you didn’t even know if you’d meet again?”
Sliding his fingers along my forehead, nose, philtrum, and lips, he only smiled ambiguously. As if he had a clear conviction that we would meet again.
That look overlapped with the past version of him, who spoke of a distant future years away with eyes as firm as if it were happening tomorrow.
He rubbed my lips softly, as if applying lipstick.
“Hyung stayed the same. Maybe just a bit sexier in aura than back then? My heart beat like crazy the moment I saw you in Bangkok.”
My voice trailed off out of apology for not recognizing him sooner.
“In Bangkok… you should have let me know first. If you had, I…”
If you had, I would have recognized you too—I tried to add, but let the sentence fade. I felt it might sound like I was blaming him.
“I didn’t have the confidence.”
“……”
“And whether you remembered me or not, whether you recognized me or not… anyway, you responded to the seduction because you liked style="font-size:0;position:absolute;left:-9999px;">[unauthorized copy]n>the current me. I just thought I shouldn’t miss that opportunity.”
While I was reflecting on the slightly puzzling words and actions he had shown at the hotel bar and in my room, he added hesitantly.
“I also thought that if Hyung found out I was that ‘softy’ from before… you might lose interest.”
“The reason I didn’t write the emails… was just because I was a coward. Not because the memories with you weren’t precious.”
He shook his head. Then, he interlaced his fingers with my left hand using his right.
“There wasn’t a single cowardly part. I was the same—I couldn’t tell you to wait, or that I didn’t want it to end like this. We weren’t children; I couldn’t exactly ask someone four years older than me to date via email.”
With his lips pressed against the back of our interlaced hands, he looked up at me.
“Of course, compared to how I pretended to be tough, I waited for those emails immensely.”
“……”
I almost offered the same excuse again, saying I didn’t know he’d wait that much, for that long, but I shut my unauthorized copymouth. Instead, this time, I pulled our interlvisit our siteaced hands and kissed the back of his hand.
Even at such a simple touch, a flash of emotion crossed his eyes as he looked at me.
“I meant it when I said it’s okay. It’s not like you broke a promise to definitely send emails. I know now that it wasn’t that you didn’t send them, but that you couldn’t. And…”
“……”
“I told you last time. Having someone I wanted to find was like a bet I placed on the future. I was able to live in the present because of that hope.”
“Ah…”
I let out a foolish exclamation and furrowed my brow.
That evening we enjoyed wine and dinner at ‘Piano,’ which he had reserved. We had certainly been able to empathize with each other’s stories without revealing our inner thoughts in detail. But I had never expected that the story, which had sounded so vague, was about me.
I couldn’t believe his long-standing feelings. It wasn’t that I doubted him, but it didn’t feel real. Looking at him with a blank face, I unconsciously shook my head slowly. He gently rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.
“It wouldn’t have been impossible to find out how you were doing, but my body was tied to New York, stolen contentjust like back then. I was preparing to visit once the situation was properly set. I felt that if I found out who the current Hyung was… I’d throw away school, responsibilities, everything, and cling only to getting you.”
“……”
“And I thought you wouldn’t accept someone like that.”
I had thought in the past that he was a man who wouldn’t just rush in blindly when he wanted something, but would possess it surely with persistence. But to think he would plan a reunion that transcended the constraints of time and space…
“Still, I imagined it often. What you’d look like now, what you’d be doing for a living. In most of my imaginations, Hyung was doing theater in Europe.”
“Ah…”
“I wasn’t surprised that you were acting, but I never expected you’d be in Korea, and a TV actor at that.”
He knew my true feelings about theater. That’s why I didn’t feel proud of my current self, still living a second-best life as if pushed along. I felt as if I had disappointed him, who had held onto the version of me in his memories for so long.
Slowly releasing the interlaced hand, I tried to sit up, asking if he wanted something to drink. But he seemed to have no intention of getting off me or pulling out of me.
“Since I have to go soon anyway, let’s stay like this a little longer.”
Under the pressure of him pressing down on my shoulders, I had no choice but to bury my head in the pillow again.
“By the way… do you have any intention of changing your residence? Even if you’re not acting, you could live in a better place.”
“If I’m living in a better place without acting, it would mean I’m still financially dependent on my mother at this age.”
“You’re acting now. The income from acting is unrelated to your mother. As you experienced today, um, this house and this bed…”
He looked up at the underside of the upper bunk covering his head. Then, shaking his head, he continued.
“I think they’ll be a huge hindrance to our relationship in the future.”
“Relationship?”
At my unintentional question, his eyes widened as he looked down at me.
“Then, do you not intend to date? [Read on Read [unauthorized copy]Read on Read BL Novelsunauthorized copy -->BL Novels]We reunited in tears, and we even had sex out of the thrill of the reunion. What was all that for?”
“I didn’t exactly cry…”
“Wow… I’m not the only one who changed. Hyung wasn’t such a heartless person before.”
He spoke with deliberate exaggeration, then firmly shook his head, immediately denying his own words.
“No, Hyung was cold back then, too.”
“……”
“Because you’re the person who left without hugging me even once, even though I looked at you so pitifully.”
“I thought you said the email thing was all okay, but it seems you’re still holding a grudge?”
At my joke, he narrowed his eyes and gave a lovely smile. Then, he slid his hands under my armpits and hugged my shoulders tightly. Our lower bodies, still connected, pressed even closer together. There was nowhere to hide from his eyes as he looked straight at me from such a short distance.
“We’re dating, right?”
“……”
“I’m Hyung’s boyfriend now, right?”
He didn’t pester or nag. His calm, pleasant voice was as quiet as a whisper.
I brushed the area around my lips with the back of my hand to hide my expression, then hesitantly reached out for the arms holding me.
“We’ve both… passed the age where we need to put everything into words.”
“But I really want to hear it. Can’t you just bear with a little bit of shyness for once?”
“……”
“Tell me clearly.”
This time, I could sense a tremor in his voice.
It wasn’t a confident or assertive demand, but closer to a plea. His voice crackled like dry fallen leaves.
Back then, I couldn’t hug him because I didn’t want my emotions to crumble. But now was different. We lived in the same city, and unless a major change occurred, we wouldn’t be restricted by space this time. There was no need to force my heart to lie.
The hand that had been stroking his arm moved up to his shoulder and neck. Out of shyness, I poked his cheeks, intentionally playing around with his handsome face.
“I thought you were more mature than your age. Seeing you like this, my boyfriend really is younger, after all.”
“……”
His face distorted strangely. The cheek beneath his eye twitched briefly. He covered his entire lower face with his large hand. Even so, his expression was too vivid to hide. Whether he was flustered by the sudden attack or moved by an unexpected gift… he looked like someone overwhelmed by emotions that were difficult to handle all at once. He looked more like the version of him from the past than the present. He really is the same person.
The moment I twisted my waist slightly to see his face more clearly, his member suddenly expanded inside me. Without any physical stimulation or friction.
Is this really possible? He’s not a teenager, or even in his early twenties.
While I was surprised, he collapsed his upper body and buried his face deep into the line of my neck. Then, BEGIN: visit our site -->visit our sitewith a kiss, he slowly began to move his hips. The gentle waves created by the flexible curves of his upper body surged into me through the point of connection.
“Mmm…”
Unlike the tight insertion of a fully erect state, a languid moan escaped me at the movement that felt like it was softly stroking my insides. I closed my eyes and hugged his head as he poured kisses all over my sensitive skin, as if he wanted to burrow into my neck.
Moving up my neck, he breathed sweet breaths into the curve of my ear. Between his ragged breathing, which didn’t hide his urgently heightened libido, and the stimulation of his penis adding volume as it rubbed against my inner walls, I also found it difficult to maintain my composure.
Clinging to the reason that was on the verge of melting away, I toyed with the back of his head and whispered in his ear as if soothing him.
“What are you going to do by setting the mood again now? You said you had to go.”
He, who had been lying prone with his legs stretched out, changed his posture by bending his knees. He pushed up my thighs with his bent legs. He intended to start shaking his hips in earnest.
“I was planning to. But… Hyung called me his boyfriend; how can I just leave in this situation?”
Just ten minutes. I won’t be persistent this time.
I couldn’t push away the voice that added that. Since he was the one troubled by time, not me, I had no complaints if unauthorized copywe could stay together a bit longer.
Unlike his usual intensity, a waist movement that was almost cautiously soft rubbed against me. When I bit my lower lip out of impatience, his tongue gently licked the bitten lip. The moment I released my lip, our lips overlapped. Inside those lips, locked deeply as one, our tongues flickered against each other.
The sound of saliva touching and parting was full of viscosity. Licking the back of my tongue, he spoke without parting his lips.
“This is our first kiss as boyfriends.”
He put deliberate emphasis on the word ‘boyfriend.’ It was cute, but the ticklish meaning behind it was embarrassing, so I shifted the conversation with a blunt response.
“If you’re going to do it, change the condom…”
“Can’t we just do it like this?”
He whispered an obscene suggestion in my ear—that because of the semen pooled inside the condom, it felt as if he were inside me raw—and my insides twitched and contracted. Like someone who had spent a long time mixing bodies only with me, he knew exactly how to stimulate me. The tip of his pointed tongue flicked against the inner mucosa of my lips as he pushed his hips forward.
“It feels like the first time we slept together in Paelli. When I was inside Hyung without a condom.”
“Hng, ah, mm… haah…”
The valley of the curves arising from his waist grew deeper. Recalling that day in Paelli, I was equally aroused. I spread my thighs wide to make it easier for him to move and pulled my rock-hard buttocks closer toward him.
Adjusting the intensity and speed so the bed wouldn’t rattle, he became drenched in sweat over me once again.
Every time he pressed his lower body firmly against me, our touching groins were slick and wet. Instead of driving fast or slamming hard, he pushed in slowly and deeply to the end, sufficiently rubbing the inner flesh.
It felt like being stirred deeply and slowly from the bottom. The feeling of being dismantled piece by piece in a way different from intensity was new. Eventually, a thirst arose to the point where I wanted to pull the condom out myself.
“Haah, hng… haah, ugh…”
Unlike a hotel, this place was where neighbors in the upper and lower units knew each other’s faces. Unable to let out my moans freely, my suppressed voice was trembling. He rubbed his lips against mine and made me wrap my arms around his back.
“Hold onto me. If it’s hard to hold back your voice… bite me. I’m not an actor.”
I fully embraced his back, which was glistening with sweat and had become much thicker and more muscular than before. And this time, I rubbed my lips against his.
“……Like back then?”
“Like back then.”
He smiled faintly while meeting my eyes. It seemed it would take a little more time to recognize the him of the past, who was afraid to even touch my body, and the him of now as the exact same person within me, but his way of prioritizing the partner even at the peak of excitement remained the same.
Trapping the energy we couldn’t fully release within our bodies, we clung to each other frantically. Since we couldn’t shake our hips quickly, we entwined our tongues more intensely than usual. As if exposing their private parts, their genitals or inner flesh, we opened our mouths and stuck out our tongues to show each other. With our tongues out, we rubbed them together and sucked on each other’s saliva. Then, when it became unbearable, I bit his shoulder and clawed at his back.
An animalistic sex, different from my usual self and different from the image people expected of me. It was my true self in bed, something I could never have summoned the courage to demand from anyone else.
Under the pressure of being crushed by his thick, heavy body, as I reached ejaculation, I unintentionally squeezed him while twisting my waist. When my inner walls began to twitch and spasm from the pleasure of the climax, he also met his second ejaculation.
Since the condom wasn’t his size to begin with and he had already ejaculated once, fluids leaked out from the rubber ring. I pulled his body, which was trying to hurriedly clean up the leaked semen, and just hugged him tightly. The blanket was already drenched in the sweat of two people anyway, so it looked like it would need to be washed.
Even after that, his heat did not subside easily. As if it weren’t enough, as if he couldn’t stand the urge to completely break me, he spoke in a pained voice with all the muscles in his body tensed.
“I want to suck… I want to leave a mark. I want to do it like back then.”
“You can’t… because of the casting…”
“I know.”
He muttered a quick, low curse and slowly pulled his waist back.
“Ah, ah… hng.”
I gripped his shoulders tightly at the sensation of his member, which hadn’t fully subsided, sliding out. It felt as if my inner walls were sticking to the penis and being dragged out. The moment the edge of the glans scraped the tight entrance and popped out, my waist lifted involuntarily.
“Haah, hng… hng…”
My whole body was tingling. My breath trembled intermittently, as if soothing the end of a sorrowful cry. I wiped my face with my hand and swallowed hard to calm down. Because he hadn’t removed his member between the first and second rounds of sex, I could feel that my bottom had become completely softened.
Sitting hunched over so the top of his head wouldn’t touch the back of the upper bunk, he heaved his shoulders and chest while looking down at my crotch. I felt around my bottom, which surely hadn’t closed completely. He grabbed my wrist and pulled it away. As if he had a great idea, he suddenly gripped the area around where he had exited with a wide hand.
“Then how about here? Surely there aren’t any scenes where this is exposed.”
Before I could even answer, he hugged my waist and lifted my lower body.
“Ugh!”
As my waist floated in the air, the space between my legs was exposed clearly toward the ceiling.
“Hng! Ah!”
There was no time to be embarrassed by the hole that was open and gasping. He buried his lips about one knuckle’s distance from that cleft and began to suck strongly.
“Haah, hng! Ugh! Hmph!”
I gripped the blanket and my chest heaved violently. Even so, I did not reject him.
We locked our eyes. To share every bit of the stinging pain and pleasure felt in that moment, and the thrill of leaving a mark of intercourse on a secret part, with the other person.
The inside of his mouth, which sucked and chewed the soft, tender flesh with all his might, was moist and warm. The suction was stinging and sore, and just as much, it was thrilling.
When he finally lifted his head, that place, drenched in his saliva, glistened like a hole. With a flushed [visit [Read on Read BL Novels]our site]face, he couldn’t take his eyes off the mark he had created.
“I’m going crazy… it’s left so beautifully. Why does this… why does something like this suit you so well?”
Lowering my waist and slipping out of his arms, I chuckled and pushed away his shoulder as he leaned down to follow the mark.
As I sat up, I felt a dull pain different from the stinging sensation left where we had enjoyed sex. It was a strange feeling, as if I now had two holes. It was such an erotic sensation that I couldn’t even tell him.
To see the spot he had been sucking and chewing just a moment ago, I pulled my knees up and bent my waist deep toward my crotch. I gripped my thighs from the outside and pulled the flesh to see it better. On the white inner flesh where light never reaches, there was a purple, bruise-like mark about the size of a coin.
Indeed. He left it quite beautifully.
“Looking at yourself down there… isn’t that too suggestive?”
“Who was the one who made it?”
When I scolded him by pressing my toes into his thigh, his satisfied smiling face drew close and kissed me.
“Did you perhaps hate it? No… if you hated it, ‘Darlicontent">stolen contentng’ would have come out, so that can’t be it.”
I gripped his cheeks firmly so that his lips pushed forward. Even so, I couldn’t help but let a smile leak out. His face, which didn’t look ridiculous even with his cheeks squeezed, was almost annoying.
“Did that innocent boy in my memory get worn down by countless experiences and leave only this expert behind? This is a scam. What about my memories, huh?”
“Countless experiences?”
He asked back with a playful attitude as he lunged at me for a kiss. Even with his cheeks held, a joyful smile lingered on his face.
“Since you’ve become so skilled, I couldn’t even imagine you were that person back then. Where did that cutie go who couldn’t even look me in the eye? Ah… the power of experience is amazing.”
His movement stopped as he was opening his mouth like a puppy, shaking his head from side to side to try and bite the hand holding his cheek. His smile faded, and his brow furrowed as if gauging the meaning of my words.
“Ah… mm…”
Making a sound like a groan, he grabbed my wrist and pulled it down.
The profile of his face as he checked his wristwatch once more was serious. Getting up from the bed, he folded the used visit our sitecondom [stolen content]into several layers of tissue, set it aside on the table, and returned to sit on the edge of the bed.
Did I say something wrong?
While I was thinking, he loosened his neck and glanced back at me.
“I believe we have absolutely no responsibility for each other’s pasts. I want to make that part clear first.”
“……”
“But since I realized Hyung is misunderstanding something… I’ll set it straight first.”
Judging by his atmosphere, he didn’t seem angry. He just seemed to be contemplating how to bring it up.
Only then did I rub my arms and slide a bit closer to him.
“What is it that requires such a grand introduction?”
“Back then, after the trip to Paelli… Novels">Read on Read BL Novelsstyle="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[Read on Read BL Novels]I started looking into BDSM, just as Hyung advised.”
Looking comfortable even while naked, he spoke while looking down at the floor with his fingers interlaced between his thighs.
Once he returned to Korea, he devoured almost all information regarding BDSM accessible online and read authoritative books and papers in the field. He immersed himself in that work throughout that summer, and since then, he had continued to update his information on BDSM in general, including other tendencies unrelated to his own.
“Although a classification system called BDSM existed for convenience, most people who defined themselves as ‘kinks’ were complex cases with several tendencies mixed together. I’m closest to a Hunter tendency, but that wasn’t all of it.”
“……”
“Kissing tenderly, overlapping bodies carefully while respecting the partner… sex that ends politely in the missionary position without looking down at the bottom. Until then, I thought that was ‘normal’ sex, and I felt frustrated by the fact that the desires inside me were completely different from that. I even thought I was someone who would eventually become a rapist.”
After saying something terrifying, he laughed with a sound like leaking air. It was a laugh that said it was all in the past, so I could feel relieved. I was glad he no longer thought of himself that way.
“The important thing is… I found out that there are quite a few people who struggle because they aren’t satisfied with that ‘normal sex’ I imagined, and fortunately, I learned that the desires I have aren’t excessively outside the generally acceptable category.”
“……”
“At least, I didn’t have those high-difficulty desires, like wanting [Read on Read BL Novels]to hit [stolen content]style="position:relative;display:inline;">[visit our site]the partner or dominate them mentally.”
Again, he turned toward me and smiled brightly.
“It was just as Hyung said. I didn’t want to forcibly violate someone who said no. I didn’t want to hit them, and I didn’t want to hurt them. My desires were that specific, yet I treated myself as just a violent, dangerous person, a potential criminal. Even though it was myself, I didn’t know, and despite not knowing, I didn’t even try to find out. Because I didn’t know, I tried to suppress it blindly. Ignorance is truly scary.”
Although he was talking to me sitting beside him, his eyes were lost in deep thought, as if searching for something far away.
And after a long while, the face that slowly turned toward me looked relaxed. The composure shown by a human who knows, understands, and can control themselves was attractive.
“You’re not a pervert. If you’re a pervert, then so am I. Hyung told me that back then. To try looking into BDSM. If the person who told me that hadn’t been Hyung… I would still be living my life denying myself while remaining ignorant of who I am.”
I had said those things. But in reality, up until now, all I had were the fragments of knowledge I heard from Tae-yoon, and I had made no effort to tend to or resolve my own desires.
I told myself it was just libido. Even if many other parts didn’t fit me, as long as the coercive aspect was somewhat satisfied, I could just resolve it through my relationship with Yoon Ju-ho.
To the extent that some couples divorce because their sexual chemistry doesn’t match or their preferences for sex differ… libido was an important desire deeply connected to the quality and satisfaction of life, along with food, clothing, and shelter. Even though I knew that theoretically, I had treated my libido as trivial and neglected it.
With my knees pulled up, I rested my arm loosely over them. The moment I tried to avoid [unauthorized copy]style="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[stolen content]his eyes, which felt like they were pressing into me, he changed his expression and smiled softly.
“I’m grateful to Hyung for defending me, saying I’m not a pervert. But I probably am a pervert in a different way.”
A hint of playfulness returned to his face. I couldn’t immediately grasp the meaning behind his words.
“Hyung seems to think that a lot of sexual experience is what made me who I am now… and I know that’s the general consensus.”
He paused for a moment, reaching out to fiddle with my hand resting on my lap.
“True perverts don’t compromise.”
“……”
“Unless it’s the best choice—the absolute peak of perfection that is satisfying in every aspect—my heart doesn’t move. I don’t compromise with choices that fall below my standards just to satisfy a craving.”
“Ah…”
The vague theme of the conversation suddenly became clear.
It wasn’t easy to understand. For a healthy man in his twenties, and one with the physical attributes to find sexual partners relatively easily, to reject such opportunities of his own will…
“You are a pervert, aren’t you?”
He was smiling as he gently tugged at my hand. It was a smile that looked somewhat bittersweet. For a moment, I was speechless and couldn’t even deny it.
“I understand. Yoo Joon always tells me I’m creepy, too. That an abnormal level of abstinence is also a kind of perversion. Remember my friend and colleague you saw at my place last time?”
I nodded slowly, but I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to recall his friend.
Thinking coldly, he hadn’t been bad at sex despite it being his first time; he had simply been hesitant and cautious. He knew how to move his hips, instinctively knew when to speed up, when to kiss, and when to drive his partner toward a climax.
As he grew into a relaxed and confident man proportional to his social achievements, his attitude toward sex could have changed as much as he wanted. Moreover, he was armed with abundant knowledge, knew and acknowledged his own desires, and above all, was free from them.
A liberated approach to sexuality. In sex, there was no technique more certain than that.
Pulling my hand down from my lap, he lightly rested his chin where my hand had been.
“Is someone inexperienced like me burdensome?”
“It’s not so much burdensome as…”
I searched for the right words in my head, then gave up and decided to be honest.
“It would be narcissistic to think it’s because of me… but we only spent a few days together back then, and I just wondered if… I accidentally stopped you from enjoying your twenties…”
His face on my lap broke into a smile. It was the face of someone enjoying a secret of his own, as if there was something more that I didn’t know. And not knowing the contents of that secret made me a bit anxious.
“Why? Why are you smiling like that?”
Without answering, he shook his head, smiling so wide his cheeks puffed out. Then, he wrapped both arms around my thigh.
“Can you make some time this weekend? I’d like you to spend just one day with me before the script reading starts. To celebrate properly… and there’s so much I want to tell you. I think I really have to go now.”
He checked his wristwatch once more. Then, tightening his grip on my leg, he kissed my knee.
“Your housewarming party cancelled our plans last time. You’re going to get very busy later on. I really want to go to Hongcheon with you before then. Is that not possible?”
I stared blankly at his face as he looked up at me, his lips still pressed against my knee. Now that our past memories were shared, I felt he was utilizing his position as the younger one more aggressively than before.
The important thing was that I didn’t dislike such obvious ploys—the attempt to get what he wanted by playing the ‘cute’ card.
“I’ll need to be back in Seoul before lunch on Sunday.”
He nodded with satisfaction, as if that were enough.
I don’t know what deadline he had set for himself initially, but by the time I finished preparing and stood at the entrance, it was well past midnight. It was nearing 1 AM. He seemed to have contacted his company once on the way, and since he was earnestly apologizing and asking for understanding, I felt a bit worried.
“You said you’re meeting a friend in the morning, right?”
He didn’t seem particularly worried himself; even after putting on his shoes and standing at the door, he couldn’t seem to leave easily.
“Drink with me next time, too.”
“We drank last time.”
His two hands stealthily grasped mine. Fiddling with my fingertips, he muttered sullenly.
“That wasn’t drinking together; you came to my house while you were already drunk.”
“There will be plenty of opportunities to drink together in the future… so go now. At this rate, it’ll be morning while we’re still standing here.”
I grew impatient, fearing he might get into trouble at work. At the force of me pushing his hands away, he reluctantly took a step back.
“It’s not that I expect you to have the same magnitude of feelings as I do.”
Despite his words, a flicker of disappointment crossed his eyes.
I couldn’t yet tell exactly how large his feelings were, nor how mine compared to his.
However, even after he turned his back, the door closed, the visit our sitedigital lock clicked shut, and the sound of him descending the stairs, opening and closing the gate, and his steady footsteps completely faded away, I couldn’t leave the entrance for a long while.
Even for me, the parting was regrettable.
Because this is just the beginning. As I told him, there will be plenty of opportunities to do many things together and convey my feelings. Just as I was about to turn around, comforting myself with that thought, the bouquet on the dining table suddenly caught my eye.
Only those vivid colors and scents, which didn’t suit my meager living conditions, felt like faint evidence that he had been here until a moment ago.
■
10 AM isn’t exactly early morning, but the entertainment district alley leading to
At the entrance of a host bar with a sign that read
The driver slowed down, opened the window, and shouted toward them.
“Hey, do you need a taxi?”
“Cheonho-dong!”
“I’ll drop this passenger off at the next alley and come back, so just wait a moment! Don’t call another taxi!”
The driver seemed to be in a good mood, noting that he’d picked up a long-distance passenger first thing in the morning. He didn’t seem worried about taking drunken passengers. It was a scene I often saw whenever I came to this alley around the time
As I got out of the taxi with my luggage, two men pushed open the doors of
Were they barely twenty this year? Even in their exhausted state, they looked youthful; they whispered my name and nudged each other, but they didn’t approach me to speak. They seemed to be regulars at
Upon entering the wooden doors, Tae-yoon was standing inside the counter, on the phone with someone.
“Who said they wanted me to move out? Is it so wrong to say we should live in a clean house? You’re the one who wants to move out, so why are you using me as an excuse?”
Looking over at me, he raised a hand in acknowledgment and then focused back on the call.
I set the box I brought down on the counter table and began tidying up the empty dishes that seemed to belong to the customers who had just left.
“You think I’m not busy? Are you the only one working? Lately, you do nothing but cling to your phone when you’re home… anyway, clean up the living room on your next day off. The air purifier is about to break because of the dust.”
It seemed to be a call with Ga-yoon. After ending the call, Tae-yoon looked distressed. He stood there for a moment and let out a sigh. He was clearly already regretting raising his voice.
“I called you here to celebrate, but why did you buy so much?”
Tae-yoon began to untie the string on the box I brought, his voice sounding reluctant. Unlike usual, his back looked slumped. Tae-yoon tended to blame himself even over small, everyday arguments between siblings living together. That was how special Ga-yoon was to him.
“I went to Noryangjin.”
“Since this morning?”
“Since I woke up early.”
“Why go all the way there to buy this? Man, the generosity of the fish market is something else. The sashimi is practically overflowing from the container.”
Tae-yoon marveled at the generous portion as he pulled the styrofoam containers out of the shallow box.
“I’ll do the dishes, so you prepare the food. I got ingredients [unauthorized copy]style="position:relative;display:inline;">[visit our site]for spicy fish stew, too.”
“Spicy fish stew sounds great! Make it really spicy, okay?”
Only then did Tae-yoon’s voice regain some of its usual vitality upon discovering the ingredients in the box.
After he left, I couldn’t sleep for a long time. It had been a day where many things happened, I had drunk a fair amount of wine, and although he had consumed far more energy than I had—even having had sex—my body refused to sleep.
A role I had desperately wanted for the first time since my debut, and one I thought I would never get, had been given to me. I had entered a romantic relationship with him. And he was that child from the past.
However, the reason for my insomnia wasn’t just excitement.
Inside my chest, which was fluttering ticklishly, I could feel a pebble-like anxiety.
I didn’t think that being lovers meant we had to share every part of the past, every wound and every burden. But I wondered if it was right to share the truly important parts of the past.
Just as I had failed to develop deep relationships with partners to whom I couldn’t confess my desire to be entwined more roughly and messily, would he eventually feel a wall between us because of a heavy secret I couldn’t tell?
I had thought my own pain was enough. That if I kept the secret, everyone [[unauthorized copy]class="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">stolen content]could remain peaceful as they had until now. That was why I had left Paelli…
Because I had been alone for so long, there was nothing in my life that would affect someone else, nor anything that would be affected by someone else. I just had to endure it alone. But a relationship as lovers demanded a deeper bond. Even while thinking that I didn’t have to confess right this moment, I had to toss and turn, unable to sleep.
“To the Hallyu star, Jeong Ji-in.”
Tae-yoon had even made corn cheese in a frying pan to properly recreate the atmosphere of a sashimi restaurant, making the drinking table quite lavish.
With his chin slightly tilted up, his face already radiated confidence in my success. I chuckled and clinked my glass against his.
“Even if I don’t become that, just stay my friend.”
“Stop talking like a jinx. This time, it’s really your turn.”
I had no greed for being a Hallyu star, but my desire to finish this project well was growing stronger.
Perhaps because I was harboring an unresolved issue, the bitter taste of soju, which I hadn’t had in a long time, was quite welcome despite it being a daytime drink.
“Actor Jeong, if things go well for you with this drama, please take good care of our Ga-yoon.”
Picking up a piece of the red middle-belly of bluefin tuna—the part with the least oil—and putting it in my mouth, I glanced at Tae-yoon.
“I might seem like a materialist for asking a favor for my sister right before your success… but you know she’s talented. This is a field where talent alone isn’t enough, and since there’s nothing I can do to support her…”
I handed chopsticks to him, who was merely emptying his glass despite the sashimi that would make anyone wake up from a deep sleep.
“Since it’s a role with a lot of screen time, the contract terms are good. I’ll have to discuss it properly with the company, but I’m thinking of making Ga-yoon my exclusive stylist at least until this project ends.”
“Really? But then… wouldn’t you be the one losing out?”
“I’m investing for the perfection of my character; what loss? I think I’ll feel more at ease if Ga-yoon focuses only on me.”
Only then did Tae-yoon seem to relax and be happy.
Since it was a rare opportunity, the company had subtly suggested that I entrust the work to a famous general manager stylist. However, I had clearly refused on the spot. Ga-yoon was a skilled enough stylist that there was no need to risk the quality for the sake of loyalty.
“I don’t think we were like this even when we were both going through puberty, but lately, that girl and I do nothing but fight every day. Read on Read BL Novelsour siteRead on Read BL Novels -->I work at night, and her time coming home is irregular… and when we do have time, she’s just clinging to her phone. We don’t even have a proper conversation.”
It was true that Ga-yoon checked her phone often, but that was mostly because of stocks. For investments focused on blue-chip stocks, her return rate was quite impressive, but she kept that a secret from Tae-yoon.
Her brother was the type of person who thought stocks were unconditionally speculation, so it was obvious he would make a fuss and tell her to withdraw the money regardless of the return rate. That was Ga-yoon’s thought. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to agree with her.
“Lately, she’s making a fuss about saving money to move out. We’re the only blood relatives in the world, so I wanted us to live together at least until one of us gets married, but I guess she doesn’t feel that way.”
I patted Tae-yoon’s back as he felt empty and refilled his glass.
Back when we attended international school together in Paelli, Tae-yoon and Ga-yoon’s family had been wealthy. They had been a family of three since they moved to Paelli, and I had never heard mention of their mother.
Their father, after a business failure, stubbornly refused to file for bankruptcy. After returning to Korea and struggling for several years while clinging to excessive debt, he eventually took his own life. It was a common occurrence in the news, but for those involved, it was a brutal reality.
The two, who had been accustomed to luxury clothing and living in high-end mansions in their teens, had to wander for a long time before adapting to their new environment.
Tae-yoon found a job at a host bar and became the ace with the highest sales in the shop in less than six months. After saving enough money to open
The time I reunited with the two of them was after all those events had swept through like a storm.
“It’s because she’s very independent. And Ga-yoon is doing that for your sake, too. Telling you not to worry about her and to live your own life.”
“Then am I living someone else’s life instead of my own?”
Even though he knew what I meant, Tae-yoon muttered useless words and swallowed his soju.
Hard lives existed everywhere. I wasn’t so low as to feel relieved knowing the world wasn’t harsh only to me, but it served as a painkiller that could soothe the suffering.
There was no need to whine. It wasn’t something everyone went through, but I wasn’t the only one who knew the taste of pain.
Thinking that way allowed me to calm my anger and resentment to some extent.
Since it was a drinking session for just the two of us after a long time, the speed at which we emptied the soju was quite fast. After pouring me the last glass of the second bottle, Tae-yoon disappeared into the kitchen for a moment to bring out a new bottle of soju. In the meantime, the phone on the table vibrated and slid slightly to the right.
“Who is it this early in the morning?”
Tae-yoon, returning from the counter with the soju, asked in a surprised tone. Checking the name on the screen, I answered with unauthorized copydata-wm="Read on Read BL Novels" style="display:none;" [unauthorized copy]aria-label="Read on Read BL Novels">Read on Read BL Novelsa slight sense of disappointment.
“Uh… Yoon Ju-ho.”
“Aren’t you going to answer?”
Unlike me, Tae-yoon seemed pleased by the name.
How would Tae-yoon react if he knew I had become lovers with someone other than Yoon Ju-ho? Thinking that, I connected the call.
[Yeah.]
[…You actually picked up on the first ring?]
[Is it a problem if I do? What’s up?]
I heard the sound of a tongue clicking over the phone.
[I called to congratulate you on the casting.]
[Ah… I’m busy, you didn’t have to take care of something like that. Thanks.]
Since I didn’t think we were in a relationship where we’d meticulously exchange such congratulations, the purpose of the call was unexpected. I felt awkward for acting sullen toward someone who called to congratulate me.
I hadn’t lived a life that would earn me a reputation for being rude. Strangely, only Yoon Ju-ho always painted me as a cold-hearted person.
I didn’t mind it from others, but I didn’t want to be treated that way by Yoon Ju-ho.
[By the way, what was that about last time?]
[What.]
[When Nox gave me the card key. You told me to find another owner.]
[……]
Before I could answer, the other side ended the conversation.
[Ah, forget it. We’ll be seeing each other often for filming anyway. Talk then.]
[Hey.]
The atmosphere felt as if he might hang up at any moment, so I hurriedly called out to him.
[Can you talk for a second?]
[I’m at the shop. I’m getting my makeup done, so I have a moment. Why?]
[The last time we slept together… wasn’t that half a year ago?]
My voice dropped a tone as I remained conscious of Tae-yoon sitting beside me. He was pretending to be uninterested, poking at the sashimi, but I could almost see his rabbit ears pricking up toward me.
Though it probably wouldn’t have much effect, I turned my head toward the wall and spoke to Yoon Ju-ho.
[I thought you’d accept that after this much time has passed, this style="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[Read on Read BL Novels]ambiguous relationship is over.]
[Since it’s an ambiguous relationship, isn’t that exactly why there’s no need to end it? Whether it’s once every six months or once a year, we can just sleep together whenever we feel like it. Like we do now.]
[Is that so? I don’t feel like it anymore.]
Silence followed. Then, from the other end of the line, I heard Yoon Ju-ho’s distant voice telling the staff to leave the room. A moment later, his voice returned, closer now.
[……Do you have someone?]
His voice was laced with suspicion.
[What do you mean, ‘someone’?]
[With your skills, it’s unlikely you’ve managed to make a lover. Did you find another partner because I’ve been too sparse? No, that can’t be right. I’ve been the only one you’ve dealt with since your debut.]
The tension in Yoon Ju-ho’s voice relaxed. This time, his tone was one of conviction. Beyond conviction, I could even sense a certain confidence.
Could it be that Yoon Ju-ho had misunderstood the reason why I hadn’t [stolen content]unauthorized copywm: stolen content -->found anyone else all this time? That it was because I had feelings for him?
I felt the slight buzz of alcohol vanish instantly. I sighed, pressing my forehead just above my eyebrows.
[Does the reason matter? We aren’t in a relationship where I need to explain things like that. Just know and accept that I’m done with you from now on.]
Silence stretched on for a while. At the end of that silence, the words that came out of Yoon Ju-ho’s mouth were completely different from what I expected.
[……I’ll see you at the script reading.]
With those words, the call was unilaterally disconnected. The Prince’s phone etiquette remained the same. And that wasn’t the only thing about him that remained the same.
“What are you doing? Why end it? What did Yoon Ju-ho do wrong?”
As I clicked my tongue, looking down at the disconnected phone, Tae-yoon stepped up to defend Yoon Ju-ho.
“I was going to tell you to make a real effort this time, since you’re working together again.”
Tae-yoon snatched the phone from me and peered at the screen, smacking his lips as if Yoon Ju-ho might suddenly reappear from within it.
“You’re being fooled by Yoon Ju-ho’s looks. You’ve made it this long only because you slept together occasionally; as a romantic partner, he’s unmanageable.”
I shook my head while picking up a piece of transparent red sea bream. In the meantime, Tae-yoon refilled my empty glass.
“He’s lived as a top star since he was a kid. You have to understand to some extent that his sense of propriety is different from an ordinary person’s. I’m telling you, his feelings for you are sincere. In his own way, you’re special.”
“How would you know? You’ve never even dated him.”
We clinked our newly filled glasses and drained them simultaneously. The red sea bream, lightly dipped in soy sauce, was savory and chewy.
“Do you have to date someone to know? It’s been years since I’ve heard about him through you. And you might not know because you were in Italy, but I’ve watched him since he was four, appearing in historical dramas saying, ‘Father, please restore Mother to the throne!’ Staying at the top for 25 years without a single scandal isn’t something just anyone can do.”
Tae-yoon continued as he poured soju into his own empty glass.
“He’s either a guy whose background is so clean that not a speck of dust flies even if you shake him, or he’s a guy who wipes his dirty tracks so thoroughly that not a single footprint remains. Either way, I think you have to acknowledge that brutal level of self-management.”
I agreed on that point. I wasn’t trying to deny the strengths Yoon Ju-ho possessed as an actor. Not only Read on Read BL NovelsRead on Read BL Novels -->visit our sitestyle="font-size:0;color:transparent;display:inline;">Read on Read BL Novelswas his acting stable, but despite his firm position as a top star, he was polite to his seniors and never demanded unreasonable treatment from the production crew.
However, that didn’t mean Yoon Ju-ho was a warm person.
Yoon Ju-ho was completely accustomed to situations where the people around him moved according to his needs. He didn’t know how to naturally empathize by finding commonalities or differences in others’ stories, nor did he know how to fill and complement each other’s gaps.
To Yoon Ju-ho, other people were relative existences, divided into those he desired and those he did not.
I was one of the objects of his desire, and Yoon Ju-ho simply wanted me to move according to his expectations. It was fine when we were just sex partners. But he wasn’t someone to expect a relationship beyond that.
“Romance is ultimately about how you cherish the other person; those methods have to match. A person who enjoys expressing affection and a person who thinks that’s just making a fuss can’t last long, no matter how much they like each other. Even if we assume Yoon Ju-ho considers me special ‘in his own way,’ the very way he and I like people doesn’t match.”
“How does a guy who’s never even had a proper relationship know so much?”
“Direct experience isn’t the only kind of experience.”
Before I knew it, only one glass was left in the third bottle. Perhaps the pace was faster than usual, or maybe it was because it was daytime drinking, but my body grew warm and dizzy. Only then did drowsiness wash over me.
With my chin resting on the table, Tae-yoon continued his paradox about how ‘special’ I was to Yoon Ju-ho. Sometimes I couldn’t tell if he was my friend visit our siteclass="wm-strong" style="position:relative;display:inline;">[unauthorized copy]or Yoon Ju-ho’s spokesperson. Yoon Ju-ho himself had never even brought up something similar, like asking me to date.
“If it’s Yoon Ju-ho, there must be plenty of people around who’d want to sleep with him just out of curiosity, regardless of gender. But the fact that Yoon Ju-ho has stayed with one partner for four years is already special in itself. What kind of sex partner lasts four years? After four years, a sex partner should be recognized as a common-law spouse.”
I knew he wasn’t saying it to be funny, but I burst out laughing at Tae-yoon’s absurd logic. A sex partner as a common-law spouse… there’s a limit to how far you can stretch a leap in logic.
I forced my drooping eyelids open and looked back at Tae-yoon. Seeing my face look ridiculous with my cheek pushed up by my hand, Tae-yoon delighted in it, saying, “This guy is drunk.”
I now had a formal lover. He was no longer just a partner for sex. Therefore, there was no reason not to tell Tae-yoon. I hadn’t planned on reporting it this quickly, but I felt a confession was necessary, if only to make Yoon Ju-ho give up.
Since the listener was Tae-yoon, the words didn’t come easily. A barrage of questions was certain, and I could already envision him teasing me mischievously as I struggled, unfamiliar with such talk.
To steel my resolve, I downed another glass of soju and started the conversation, rolling the empty glass in my hand.
“You asked me last time if I was dating, right?”
“……”
Tae-yoon, who had been shaking the completely empty bottle, stopped and looked at me.
“Who is it?”
That was Tae-yoon’s first word.
“Someone you don’t know.”
“Not an actor? Then what, a cameraman? A magazine editor? A designer?”
Tae-yoon listed the professions of people who had expressed interest in me, directly or indirectly, over the years. Though he looked fine on the surface, he too was not free from the intoxication of sharing three bottles of soju between two people. An unusual glint danced in his eyes as he looked at me.
I needed more alcohol. This time, I stood up to bring a new bottle.
“He’s someone unrelated to the entertainment industry.”
“Ah… that… Actor Jeong, that was all an act. He pretended not to have a shred of interest in dating, and then this happens?”
Behind my back as I headed for the refrigerator, Tae-yoon shouted loudly [visit our site]an>wm: visit our site -->in a voice full of mischief, as expected.
Even after taking out the new alcohol, I stood in front of the refrigerator for a moment. I leaned my forehead against the glass door of the commercial liquor fridge, through which the contents were transparently visible, and sighed.
As soon as I returned from the kitchen, I had to face Tae-yoon, who was grinning from ear to ear with a face that said he’d caught a juicy piece of gossip. I needed resolve.
As soon as I sat down, I filled my glass and drained it immediately. Tae-yoon’s question flew in right away.
“Where did you meet?”
The first place that came to mind at that question wasn’t the courtyard of a Bangkok hotel, nor the event hall of the Nox Hotel Seoul. It was a boy with a dark red face sitting on the terrace of the ‘Mio Palazzo’ restaurant, where sunlight overflowed. Come to think of it, it might be someone Tae-yoon knew.
“A long time ago… I knew him briefly in Paelli, and we happened to meet again in Seoul.”
“What? What? Jeong Ji-in. You had a past you didn’t tell me about?”
“I did tell you. The guy who landed a front kick on Luca’s stomach at the square fountain.”
“What? Your first man?”
Tae-yoon, who had been grinning while rocking his chair back on its hind legs, slammed the chair back down with a loud thud.
After reuniting with Tae-yoon in Seoul, I had once let slip some stories while heavily intoxicated. That was the only romantic topic I could talk about. Even if not in great detail, Tae-yoon knew the general events.
“He’s younger than you!”
“He is. By four years.”
“You don’t like younger guys!”
“He’s mature. Sometimes so much that he doesn’t seem younger.”
“……Is he rich?”
Tae-yoon’s face as he asked that was so serious that for a moment, even the effects of the alcohol vanished.
Since I didn’t know the specifics of his wealth either, I simply mentioned visit our siteunauthorized copyEND: visit our site -->his background as far as I knew.
“A team leader at twenty-seven? Could he be the son of Nox? Huh?”
Tae-yoon’s face was utterly honest, his eyes sparkling without hiding a bit of anticipation. It felt more honest than materialistic.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but that’s not the case.”
I didn’t know the detailed management structure of Korean conglomerates very well, nor was I particularly interested. I only had a rough grasp of the owner family related to the Hanseo Group, specifically Nox Hotel.
The Hanseo Group, which owned Nox Hotel & Resorts, was operated by the founder’s children, who divided the various affiliates. The group’s holding company and core enterprises were owned by the family of the second son, who had been the founder’s successor.
The founder’s second son had also passed away, leaving behind two sons and one daughter.
I didn’t know the name of the eldest daughter, the successor and third-generation manager. She was completely unrelated to me, so I paid her no mind. Of the two sons, the elder was Lee Seo-gyeong. And the younger one had a very unusual name. I only remembered that it was a very unusual name, and though I’d forgotten the name itself, I was confident I’d recognize it immediately upon hearing it. One thing was certain: it was definitely not the name Yi-han.
“I think he was at the Nox Hotel New York branch after graduating. He worked there for a while and then got transferred to Seoul under good terms.”
“And you were here to become an actor?”
I nodded, tracing the smooth surface of the small glass with my finger. Tae-yoon’s words implied a subtle coincidence. Agreeing with that, a faint smile played on my lips.
Moreover, our first reunion was in Bangkok. Not Paelli, not New York, not even Seoul… to think we’d meet again in a place where we had no common ground…
The point where the complex trajectories of our respective lives accidentally collided possessed a significant amount of unexpectedness. My smile deepened.
“Well, I guess that’s fate.”
Tae-yoon spoke as if reluctantly admitting it, and soon a mischievous smile appeared on his face. He leaned in closer.
“Did you like him the moment you saw him? Did the old feelings just boil over?”
Tae-yoon’s questions were excessively cringeworthy. I scratched behind my ear and poured alcohol into my empty glass. However, Tae-yoon did not give up on hearing an answer.
“Memories like that are bound to be beautified. Why do you think people say you shouldn’t go looking for your first love? That was ages ago. Among guys, it’s common for twenty-seven-year-olds to already have an ‘old man’ vibe. You’re the monster. Even the guys working in this alley are treated as washed-up by the time they’re twenty-seven.”
I let Tae-yoon’s words drift past me and brought the glass I’d filled to my lips.
Since I didn’t recognize him immediately, it wasn’t that the old feelings revived the moment I saw him. But even without knowing it was him, I was drawn to him the moment I saw him. His appearance perfectly matched the taste that had been calibrated by the ‘him’ of the past.
The moment I realized he was the same person as the ‘him’ from the past, the emotions overflowed from the sealed past and crashed over the present me. So, it was true that I liked him immediately, and it was true that the old feelings revived exactly as they were.
Suddenly, another question posed itself in my mind.
If I had never known that the current him was the him from the past, what would have happened to my feelings?
“What’s with you? You’re not answering my question, and why is your face suddenly turning red? Is the alcohol hitting you?”
I flinched back at Tae-yoon’s action of leaning deep to peer into my face.
“Uh… it’s hitting me all at once. I think I drank too fast.”
I pressed my palm against the surface of the soju bottle and rubbed that cold sensation against my cheek, blaming the alcohol.
But the reason for the heat was something else.
The answer to the question I had voluntarily raised was clear.
Even without the memories of the past, I would have eventually opened my heart to the current him.
My feelings for him, glimpsed through a simple question, were more fervent than I thought.
I was continuing to be drawn to him, more and more. Perhaps it had been so since Bangkok. I wanted to reach out and comfort him when he looked exhausted, and even while saying I wouldn’t contact him, I couldn’t bring myself to throw away the note he left behind.
Picking up a bottle of water instead of alcohol and twisting the cap, I answered blankly, as if muttering to myself.
“He changed so much I didn’t recognize him at first. But even though I didn’t… I fell for him again.”
“Excuse me, who are you? By any chance, have you seen my friend who was sitting here? He’s a guy who’s allergic to talk of romance.”
“You’re the one who kept telling me to please just date someone. And you’re the one who asked, so what’s with that reaction?”
After taking a sip, I complained, thumping Tae-yoon’s shoulder with the capped water bottle.
“It’s just that I didn’t know you’d… do it in that way. Ah, I can’t get used to this. Is it because you’re an actor? You held out without dating for so long, and then you start it like some movie.”
Tae-yoon, who had been acting as if he wanted to find a flaw in him no matter what, changed the mood after drinking another glass of alcohol I’d poured for him. Setting the glass down with a serious expression, he poured another drink without eating any side dishes.
“I don’t know if his whole family emigrated or if they just sent the son to study abroad… but for him to have the background to succeed that much at that age, there must have been some support from home… Still, it’s not like his family has as much influence in the entertainment industry as Yoon Ju-ho’s.”
Tae-yoon seemed to be genuinely disappointed on Yoon Ju-ho’s behalf.
Yoon Ju-ho and I occasionally shared a drink, but we had a very dry relationship, even for sex partners. We had never dined at a romantic restaurant, nor had we ever taken a short trip to enjoy different kinds of sex in a new environment.
That indifferent distance, the fact that he didn’t demand more private time or emotion, was a large part of the reason why I had maintained a relationship with Yoon Ju-ho for so long. I had thought it was the same for Yoon Ju-ho.
Looking at Tae-yoon’s profile as he drank continuously, I asked in a low voice.
“Do you think
“It’s not that I doubt your ability.”
“I know.”
“Hwang Su-young isn’t some unknown PD, and no matter how powerful Yoon Ju-ho is, he probably can’t control someone like Hwang Su-young. But it’s a fact that he played a role in securing the audition opportunity through his influence, even if he wasn’t the decisive factor. That’s what I mean.”
“……”
“It’s a world where ability alone isn’t enough. I just wish you had at least one person who could be a source of strength for you in that world. Though you’ll probably say you don’t need such a thing.”
Tae-yoon added those last words to avoid sounding too heavy, then praised the freshness of the sashimi anew and popped a piece of flounder fin into his mouth. Massaging his shoulder firmly, I added a playful touch with a deliberately soft voice.
“I don’t need that kind of thing, but I don’t hate that you’re worrying about me.”
“Seeing as you’re good at saying such cheesy things, you really are drunk.”
The atmosphere lightened again as they giggled, fueled by the sharp buzz of the alcohol. Tae-yoon, who was admiring his own “skills” as if the spicy fish stew—made with sauce provided by the restaurant—was his own creation, set down his spoon and asked subtly.
“Is your boyfriend handsome?”
A chuckle escaped me at the unfamiliar word ‘boyfriend.’
“Funny… I guess he is. More than Yoon Ju-ho?”
“Well, in my eyes, yes.”
It was an honest answer I had summoned the courage to give, but the guy frowned.
“This is why dating is scary. A person changes in an instant. I’ve got to see that amazing face that managed to seduce the stone-cold Jeong Ji-in. When are you going to show him to me?”
There were more hurdles to overcome in this first real attempt at dating than I had expected. Since it was a relationship between two men, I couldn’t introduce him to everyone around me, but I couldn’t hide my partner from the one friend who knew everything about me.
“If he were just a sex partner, that would be one thing, but you have to show me your boyfriend. Right?”
Tae-yoon demanded an introduction once more, his face full of anticipation. Imagining the three of us—him, me, and Tae-yoon—together, the words of acceptance didn’t come easily.
While I hesitated, my phone on the table vibrated. Because Tae-yoon had snatched it away aria-label="stolen content">stolen contentNovels -->Read on Read BL Novelsfrom me earlier, the phone was closer to him.
“What’s this? Team Leader Yi-han?”
I snatched the phone back from Tae-yoon’s hand just as he was peering at the screen.
“Oho… based on that reaction, I guess that’s the guy?”
Avoiding the guy whose eyes were sparkling with curiosity, I stood up entirely. I moved as far away as possible toward the exit before connecting the call. Come to think of it, it was already lunchtime for the office workers.
[Is it okay to take the call? Am I interrupting?]
He spoke hesitantly and cautiously, as if he hadn’t expected me to answer.
[I’m just… having drinks with a friend.]
[I’ve reserved a glamping tent at the Hongcheon Resort. The date is Saturday.]
Did he call just to report that quickly? His voice, which didn’t hide his excitement, unauthorized [visit our site]copymade my own heart flutter.
[It’s peak season; I’m surprised there was a vacancy. You didn’t abuse your official authority, did you?]
[No matter the authority, you can’t do anything about a room already reserved by a customer. There was one highest-grade tent available. In hotel terms, it’s basically a suite. Even I think the price is a bit wicked… so it’s not booked every single day, even in peak season. Though it’s true I reserved it with the employee discount.]
[I’m finally going to Hongcheon. You’ve been telling me to go since we met at Director Kang Woo-hyun’s party.]
[That’s right. I was rejected flatly. Because of a certain someone who told me not to worry about setting the mood and just get him into bed as quickly as possible.]
Back then, I couldn’t understand why he wanted to take me all the way to Hongcheon just for sex. At the time, I thought sex was the only value we sought from each other.
But he had been different. Since sex wasn’t the ultimate goal, the location mattered, and he had wanted to set the mood.
Unintentionally, I looked up and saw my reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall next to the exit. My entire face was filled with a smile I couldn’t hide. It was exactly the “face of someone head-over-heels in love” that Seo-hae Hyung had mentioned once. This time, I couldn’t deny it. It looked that way to me, too.
I locked eyes with Tae-yoon through the mirror. Tae-yoon was shaking his head with an expression that said I was a hopeless case. Embarrassed, I rubbed my shoe against the floor and glanced away.
[Um, it’s lunchtime now, right? Even if you’re busy, make sure you eat.]
[Hyung, wait.]
[……]
[This time… you’re really not going to stand me up, right? This is our first date as a couple. I’m looking forward to it several times more than the last promise, so you really can’t cancel, okay?]
I gave a vague answer to the man demanding a pledge in a desperate voice and hurried to end the call. The version of me currently in a relationship felt quite different from my previous self, even to me, so I felt I needed an adjustment period before naturally revealing it to those around me.
As soon as I returned to my seat, Tae-yoon’s teasing began, as expected.
“Did you decide to go to Hongcheon in the meantime? I heard a typhoon is coming.”
“The typhoon is next week. We’re going this weekend, so it’s fine.”
“To think the day would come where I’d want to date because I was stimulated by Jeong Ji-in. Ah… where is my Dom?”
Tae-yoon had defined himself as having BDSM inclinations early on, since visit our sitethe time we attended school together at Paelli. All of my shallow knowledge of BDSM came from Tae-yoon.
Contrary to most expectations that he would be a Dominant (Dom), he was a Submissive (sub).
He was clean-cut and eloquent enough to quickly rise to the position of an ‘ace’ in the host bar industry, which is jokingly said to be as competitive as the entertainment industry. He had a great personality and seemed light on the surface, but he was by no means a pushover. He was a tenacious fellow who managed to save enough startup capital to leave the nightlife industry in three years, despite the common saying that even aces who make huge money every month can never save it.
Despite that, in his private life, Tae-yoon had a desire to be dominated and obey someone he could respect.
Just as I—who, according to a comment someone left on the internet, seemed like the type to only know missionary position and treat oral sex as a taboo—actually craved sex where the partner pushes me until the bottom of my instincts is revealed.
Tae-yoon let out a complaint he always made: that ‘Female Doms’ were so rare that he didn’t know how much longer these lonely nights would last. Letting his grumbling flow in one ear and out the other, I sent him a message.
《I’m looking forward to Saturday a lot, too. So don’t worry about it being canceled. This time, it will take priority over anything else.》
■
Half of the eight-person table in the conference room was covered with single pages torn from magazines and photo books, and printed papers. These were the materials Ga-yoon had prepared just three days after my appearance in
“When he’s Hwaye’s confidant, the cold and rational side is emphasized, so I’ll use gray or black… and for scenes where the human side stands out or the emotional line is important, I’m going with white. I think using achromatic colors can give the character a sense [visit our site]style="display:none;" aria-label="stolen content">stolen contentof unity while effectively expressing both Yi-soo’s firmness and fragility…”
Explaining while pointing to the materials categorized into black and white, Ga-yoon pulled a few more pages from the file and handed them over.
“And as you suggested, I’ve read the entire original webtoon. For costumes like these that had a great reaction from the original fans… I think it would be good to produce them separately and have you wear them. What do you think?”
The papers Ga-yoon handed me had prints of scenes where the original Yi-soo character wore fantasy-style clothing reminiscent of a Vampire.
“The original fans will be watching with high expectations… so I think it would be good as a form of fan service?”
“I’ll have to discuss it with the drama’s costume team, but your opinion is the primary priority.”
“But Ga-yoon, did you prepare all this in just a few days? You’re not only handling my work. Are you sleeping properly?”
“This is the first time I’ve been completely responsible for a character from the analysis stage. I’m so excited I don’t even realize I’m tired.”
It didn’t seem like she was lying just to reassure me. Ga-yoon’s face was full of the vitality characteristic of someone immersed in work they love.
Yesterday, Wednesday, I had proposed to Ga-yoon that she work as my dedicated stylist for the
Ga-yoon was not an assistant to the so-called ‘established’ stylist general managers who ran their own offices and contracted with external companies; she was an employee of UB Entertainment, which was not a common case.
Because of this, Ga-yoon was responsible for various UB artists who didn’t have separately contracted stylists on a case-by-case basis.
She often said it was a satisfying life compared to her time at her previous office, where she was overworked with pay that didn’t even meet the minimum wage, feeling hopeless about when she could be promoted or go independent. However, knowing her passion for work, I felt just as sorry for her. I could always see her desire to carry out a project of a certain scale entirely on her own.
Becoming my dedicated stylist was essentially the same as debuting as a general manager for Ga-yoon. She was grateful and happy about this proposal, but after discussion, we reached a compromise to balance it with the styling for ‘Layered.’ Since the schedule for ‘Layered’ was also demanding, it was decided that she would hire one more assistant to accompany and care for them.
Perhaps because it was Director Hwang Su-young’s next project, Ga-yoon couldn’t hide her anticipation and excitement, saying that sponsorships seemed easy to get this time.
“Sponsorships were never hard for you, but I think it’ll be even smoother this time. There are already several places that contacted me first saying they’d sponsor. Ah, I’m going to make you wear everything pretty!”
I laughed watching Ga-yoon exclaim innocently, like a child looking forward to playing with dolls. She grinned back at me.
“Ah, you said you’re going to Hongcheon on Saturday, right? Will you be back Sunday afternoon?”
“Yes, I’ll leave from there before lunch.”
“Then I’ll go to your accommodation in the afternoon. I’ll organize the image board based on what we talked about today, so please take another look then.”
“Won’t the accommodation be too cramped and uncomfortable? Should I check with the desk to see if we can use the conference room that day too?”
“It’s fine. You’ll be tired after staying overnight, so you don’t have to come all the way out here. And I feel more comfortable talking at the accommodation.”
“I appreciate the enthusiasm… but there’s still time until filming, so don’t overdo it. Kim Tae-yoon will scold me for overworking you.”
Whether they were still in a cold war, Ga-yoon fell awkwardly silent at the mention of Tae-yoon’s name. She grabbed the coffee she hadn’t touched once during the briefing, leaned back in her chair, and put the straw in her mouth. It was an avoidant posture.
“Did you fight again?”
“I can’t communicate with my brother. Since you might be my brother’s spy too, I’m not going to talk about it.”
Talking bluntly and cutting off the conversation, Ga-yoon was completely different from the professional persona she had shown until a moment ago. Perhaps because I knew her as a teenager, I didn’t find this side of her unpleasant. Rather, I found myself looking at her with a soft heart, as I did with Yui and Ian.
While drinking coffee through the straw, Ga-yoon immediately looked for [unauthorized visit our sitecopy]style="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[Read on Read BL Novels]her phone. She was likely updating the latest news on the companies she was investing in.
Remembering Tae-yoon complaining that Ga-yoon only held onto her phone even at home, I tried starting a conversation.
“How are the stocks lately? Still good?”
“Overseas stocks are steady… but domestic stocks are a bit ambiguous lately. Well, I don’t do stocks for day trading or swing trading, so it doesn’t matter much.”
Ga-yoon’s expression, which had been indifferent as she chewed the straw in her coffee cup, suddenly changed. Leaning her upper body toward me again, her eyes sparkled.
“Ah, but renewable energy stocks… and lately, Nox is at its upper limit.”
“Nox?”
“Yes, the youngest son here recently returned from the US and joined the headquarters. The funny thing is, when Nox started its ‘parachute management,’ the stock price plummeted because people thought the future was obvious. The mood in stock communities was that Nox was finished, asking what a twenty-seven-year-old could possibly know, calling it the birth of a second Lee Seo-gyeong.”
Perhaps because I had been drinking a cold beverage in a room where the air conditioner was running strongly, the back of my neck suddenly felt chilly. I didn’t know why my heart fluttered at the mention of the son of Nox who had returned from the US to join the headquarters.
It was a useless worry, an overactive imagination.
Trying to ignore the rising smoke of anxiety, I asked cautiously.
“The youngest son?”
“Yes. I mean… ah, you might not know this, but Nox Hotel is a subsidiary of a conglomerate called Hanseo Group. There are three children in the family that owns the prime companies of Hanseo Group… the youngest was originally at Nox Hotel New York. I thought he was gaining experience and receiving management training there, but his older sister suddenly called him back to the headquarters.”
I knew Ga-yoon possessed extensive knowledge of major domestic and foreign companies. She wasn’t someone who invested like a gambler, as Tae-yoon had worried.
Ga-yoon spoke at length about the eldest daughter of the owner’s family, who served as the Managing Director of Hanseo Holdings, the holding company of Hanseo Group, and concurrently as the President of Nox Hotel & Resort, praising her extraordinary path and outstanding ability.
The day I visited Daehak-ro to watch a play at her invitation naturally came to mind.
For celebratory wreaths for a play, the names on the ribbons had been quite lavish. A wreath from the CEO and President of Nox Hotel had occupied one spot. The owner of the name I hadn’t checked then was precisely the eldest daughter of Hanseo Group that Ga-yoon was talking about.
“That eldest daughter is a case of someone who experienced all the core business divisions of Hanseo Group’s major subsidiaries and climbed step-by-step to her current position. Well, that’s relative to other chaebol heirs; compared to regular employees, it’s an absurdly fast promotion. Anyway, in the stock market, the atmosphere is now such that no one questions the eldest daughter’s management ability… but the two younger siblings are not like that. The youngest… rather than being a failure like the older brother, he just hadn’t been verified yet because he was young.”
Seeing that I was listening with serious interest, Ga-yoon grew excited, stolen contentcontent -->pulling her chair closer and heating up the conversation.
“Anyway, when the unverified youngest son joined the headquarters at a team leader level, the sensitive stock market reacted immediately. But it turned out that youngest son wasn’t just a hollow shell.”
She continued by explaining that the youngest son was the key figure who renovated the image of Nox Resort—which had a strong image of being a place for wealthy middle-aged and older people due to its heavy, albeit luxurious, vibe—and recorded an impressive increase in sales in a short period.
“On top of that, rumors are circulating that the youngest is pushing a project to build a mixed-use residential-commercial apartment complex under the Nox name… Look at this, Oppa. Do you see this beautiful graph? The stock price suddenly shot up 19% on this day alone. It kept rising for a few more days after that. Although there was a slight correction afterward, it’s still up about 30% from the low, so it’s quite a profit.”
On the screen Ga-yoon pushed toward me, a line of long red daily candles was soaring toward the top right of the screen. Although I was mechanically looking at the screen in front of me, my thoughts were elsewhere.
“I shouldn’t normally invest like that… but I’m actually a fan of the eldest daughter of that family. I entered the position out of fan-spirit when I saw the stock price hit rock bottom, but now I feel like I want to meet the youngest of that family and buy him a meal.”
At some point, Ga-yoon’s words were simply flowing through my hearing.
My heartbeat was fluctuating irregularly. To think that the youngest son of the Nox owner’s family, whom Ga-yoon wanted to meet and buy a meal for, might be him. That was an excessive imagination bordering on a delusion. How difficult is it for connections to overlap in such a way?
If that were the case… it could no longer be described as mere fate.
Furthermore, the name of the youngest of Hanseo Group was much unauthorized copy]site">visit our sitemore unique than Yi-han. In this day and age, [unauthorized copy]there were plenty of people who had studied in New York, and international personnel transfers were not uncommon in a global hotel chain like Nox.
“I bought Nox for the first time then, and I was really lucky.”
Unlike Ga-yoon, who leaned back in her chair with a refreshed expression, I had to mobilize all my energy to feign composure.
“That youngest son who came in from New York… what’s his name? I think I’ve heard it before, and it seemed like a very unique name.”
That felt like the only hope I could cling to.
Ga-yoon, who had just released the straw from her lips to answer, suddenly sat up straight, looking over my head.
Reflexively turning around, I saw the CEO through the glass door of the conference room. The CEO, looking unusually happy, opened the door and walked in.
“Is the meeting over?”
“For now, yes…”
“Ji-in, it looks like you’re finally being compensated for all the hardships unauthorized copystyle="font-size:0;position:absolute;left:-9999px;">]copy -->unauthorized copyyou went through in the first half of the year.”
“……”
“It hasn’t even been that long since the casting news for
“……”
“I just got a call from the ad agency, and they said Nox Hotel & Resort is considering you as a candidate.”
“Wow, we were just talking about Nox. That’s amazing. Right, Oppa?”
Ga-yoon spoke cheerfully, seemingly delighted by this coincidence coinciding with the news of the advertisement.
“They asked if you could do a meeting first, so General Manager Yoon already said okay. The weekend is fine, right?”
I lowered my head from looking up at the CEO and pressed firmly on my temples. An ad proposal from Nox.
A random thought occurred to me—that the current situation felt like a supermarket checkout line during rush hour. I hadn’t even finished processing the items of the customer who came first, but the impatient unauthorized copystyle="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[stolen content]next customer had already dumped their shopping list onto the conveyor belt.
As I failed to answer readily, Ga-yoon asked the CEO on my behalf.
“But why do they want to work on the weekend specifically?”
“They seem to want to push it through quickly. Travelers increase in the autumn, so they probably want to finish filming and release the ad before then. Why, Actor Jeong, is Saturday not okay?”
The CEO’s anxious face looked down at me.
My promise with him to go to Hongcheon. The youngest son of Nox, who had recently moved from the New York branch to join the headquarters.
Various propositions tangled in my head, making it impossible to derive a clear conclusion.
However, I could sense a premonition.
I suspected that I would not be able to keep my promise to him.
“……Saturday is fine.”
The answer flowed out like a sigh from my blank face, but that didn’t seem to matter to the CEO. With a relieved expression, he gave my shoulder a firm squeeze.
“It seems they intend to combine it with some hospitality, so the time will probably be set for around evening. I know you hate those kinds of gatherings, but let’s cooperate just this once, okay?”
With the same light step he had when entering the conference room, the CEO disappeared across the hallway.
“The second half of the year is really going to go well! Isn’t this your first TV commercial, Oppa?”
Ga-yoon spoke in a low but excitement-filled voice, grabbing my arm which was resting on the table.
“There are cases where it gets canceled after the interview because the image is different from what they thought. We don’t know yet.”
“Ayy, once they see you in person, there’s even less chance of a cancellation.”
Ga-yoon, who laughed with her eyes narrowing while lightly shaking my arm, suddenly changed her expression. Regret was evident on her face as her brow furrowed and the corners of her eyes drooped.
“Ah… then you can’t go to Hongcheon? Hmm… I guess the ad takes [Read on Read BL Novels]visit Read on Read BL Novelsour siteRead on Read BL Novels -->priority. But isn’t this the first TV ad for Nox too? Should we buy a few more shares?”
Ga-yoon, who had been humming and looking for her phone, stopped and looked back at me.
“Oh, you asked about the name of the youngest son of Hanseo Group, right? Just like you said, it’s a very unique name. Lee Han-cheoeum.”
It felt as if a small explosion had occurred in my head.
Lee Han-cheoeum. Yi-han.
Finding the commonality between the two names was simple. Once I realized they were referring to the same person, there was no problem easier than this. Everything seems simple once you know the answer.
A hollow laugh almost escaped me, like someone who realized they had been neatly fooled by a simple trick. To hide my agitation, my hand instinctively moved toward the coffee cup. Because I hadn’t drunk from it for a long time, the paper sleeve was damp.
“But Oppa, you aren’t really interested in the Korean political and business circles. How did you hear about him?”
“When I was young… our mothers were close…”
“Ah… right. Chairman Lee Woo-yeol’s second wife was also an actress.”
Since they had spent several years closely together at Paelli, Tae-yoon and Ga-yoon knew that the owner of ‘Mio Palazzo’ and the adoptive mother who took me in was the actress Jung Yoon. Though they had kept it a secret regarding my family at my request.
Ga-yoon nodded in casual agreement, took another sip of coffee, and began gathering the scattered documents.
Lee Han-cheoeum.
Yes, that was the name. A very unique and powerful name.
One summer when I was sixteen or seventeen, before my parents divorced. The Korean child who stayed at ‘Mio Palazzo’ for about a week with his mother definitely had that name. However, no matter how uncommon a name is, the name itself fades with the passage of time, and all that remained was the memory that it had been a unique name.
The blood in my veins accelerated, and my heart raced. It wasn’t because of the caffeine in the coffee I had barely drunk. Contrary to the turmoil inside, my body was freezing stiff.
If Lee Han-cheoeum is Yi-han—and I should consider it a fact now—then the beginning of him and me was not that summer when he was twenty.
I knew that Lee Seo-gyeong’s younger brother was that little boy who had visited our house following his mother’s senior actress. But the person I had to avoid was Lee Seo-gyeong; I had never considered the possibility of getting entangled with his younger brother.
Moreover, that little boy was the partner of my proper first experience, and that little boy was the man who, last Monday on [visit our siteclass="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">unauthorized visit our sitecopy]the bunk bed in my room, demanded to be recognized as my lover…
Was I a foolish human for not predicting such a slim possibility, where things could overlap to that extent?
I don’t know how I got back home.
I could have searched for it urgently in the taxi, but I didn’t dare touch the problem. I set up various hypotheses and then denied them. I tried to prepare myself for the worst-case scenario.
The worst-case scenario. If he really is the son of the Hanseo Group, which owns Nox, and the brother of Lee Seo-gyeong…
I rested my chin on the window frame as if covering my mouth with a fist clenched so hard the knuckles turned white. I bit my lower lip hard enough to make it burst.
I didn’t have the confidence to face the problems that would follow.
My two legs simply moved mechanically to bring me to my lodging. Perhaps Hyung-soo had cooked ramen and gone out a moment ago; as soon as I opened the front door, a pungent soup smell overwhelmed my sense of smell instead of the scent of flowers.
The flowers, three days old, were no longer as fresh as they were at first. Despite changing the water on time, the edges of the amaryllis’s white petals had turned yellow in places, and the stems had lost their strength, causing the blooms to droop heavily.
I went straight into my room and closed the door. I sat at the table and turned on the laptop.
Perhaps because they lacked sunlight compared to the flowers on the kitchen table, the flowers in my room were more withered. Or perhaps it was simply a reflection of my mood.
While the computer was booting, I stared blankly at the small, fading bouquet. Then, I loaded a portal site on the prepared screen.
What should I type first? Hanseo Group? Nox Hotel? Lee Han-cheoeum?
Even with my hands on the keyboard, I couldn’t press a single key for a long time. I remained frozen until the screen saver activated and the screen dimmed. I had to make typos three times while bringing up the search bar again and typing just four characters.
My throat tightened as if my entire future depended on that trivial hand movement of pressing the Enter key. My hands weren’t shaking, but my heartbeat was pressing against me painfully.
Lee Han-cheoeum
· The youngest of two sons and one daughter of the late Chairman Lee Woo-yeol of Hanseo Holdings, the holding company of the Korean conglomerate Hanseo Group. Currently serves as the Team Leader of the 2nd Public Relations Strategy Team at Nox Hotel & Resort, an affiliate of Hanseo Group.
While it is difficult to say he has fully participated in management yet, it is known that he was granted authority equivalent to or higher than a team leader during his move from the Nox Hotel New York branch to the Seoul headquarters.
· Due to his relatively young age, his accumulated public activities [stolen content]are not as extensive as those of his sister stolen contentand brother. So far, he is better known for gossip regarding his birth, his outstanding looks, and his unique name.
· He is a late-born child with a significant age gap from the eldest daughter, Lee Han-seo, and the eldest son, Lee Seo-gyeong. (14 years apart from Lee Han-seo, 12 years from Lee Seo-gyeong). It is easy to assume he grew up monopolizing the affection as the late-born youngest of a chaebol family, but it is speculated that he suffered considerable emotional distress since childhood.
· Despite the fact that Kim Ju-seon of Dongshin Group, who divorced his father Chairman Lee Woo-yeol when Han-cheoeum was two years old, is officially recognized as his biological mother, scandals regarding his birth continue to this day.
(The rumors vary wildly: that Kim Ju-seon is the biological mother but Chairman Lee Woo-yeol is not the father, or that he is a child born from an affair with Moon Se-yeon before Chairman Lee Woo-yeol divorced Kim Ju-seon, etc.)
· Along with the birth scandal that the public finds interesting and his actor-like handsome looks, his unique name also attracted the attention of some people. It is said that Chairman Lee Woo-yeol named him personally.
‘Han-cheoeum’ was a word proposed as a translation for the Hebrew word bereshit used in the Bible, meaning the first moment of the entire universe, where no time prior can be assumed. It is a name of a scale only possible for a child of a chaebol family.
Just as the center is the core of the middle, and midsummer is the peak of summer, Han-cheoeum can be seen as the first before the first, the first of the first. Similar in meaning to Great Beginning, Creative Beginning, or Primeval Beginning.
(Chairman Lee Woo-yeol’s naming sense is bold, to the extent that he publicly designated the eldest daughter as the successor and had her name changed to Lee Han-seo. CEO Lee Han-seo’s original name was Lee Han-jung, but she changed it to Lee Han-seo upon the recommendation of Chairman Lee Woo-yeol in the year she joined Hanseo Holdings and began formal management training. Lee Han-seo of Hanseo Group. A naming that reflects Chairman Lee Woo-yeol’s firm will that no one should question his decision to designate her as the successor. For more details, refer to the Lee Han-seo entry.)
· After completing elementary, middle, and high school in Korea, he studied business administration at a prestigious Ivy League university in the United States. Even while living in the US, he did not create a separate English name and used the name ‘Yi-han’ taken from his real name. Due to the nature of hotel operations, which frequently involve dealing with foreigners, he still uses the name Yi-han externally.
(There is a rumor that his brother Lee Seo-gyeong, who is known to be quite conscious and wary of Han-cheoeum, has never once called him Han-cheoeum. [visit our site]Speculation unauthorized copysuggests this is due to jealousy, as the meaning of Han-cheoeum’s name is so strong that the father must have favored him.)
· He was very bright even in college, and his proactive and bold sales methods were already recognized during his time at the New York branch. Therefore, the general consensus is that he is a figure worth pinning hopes on, compared to his brother Lee Seo-gyeong, who is the epitome of an incompetent third-generation chaebol manager.
· Despite his long life in the US, he is said to be particularly interested in the European business division.
Events from the distant past and the relatively recent past repeatedly popped up and disappeared in my head.
In the beginning there was you.
His email address, ‘In the beginning there was you,’ contained a past much further back than I had guessed. Looking back now, that phrase seemed to be a message aimed at me, sent to me.
The boy of twelve or thirteen who was polite and mature to the point of seeming forced, and the twenty-year-old young man who blushed the moment our eyes met at the terrace seats of ‘Mio Palazzo.’
When I was young… I spent summer vacations in this area.
Where did you go? I came here… because of my brother.
Cigarettes… since when did you smoke?
Looking back, these were stories that sounded like hints that we had a connection from an even earlier point. How simple it is to pick out the foreshadowing once all the circumstances become clear.
I didn’t even have the will to look for more information. This much was enough confirmation.
The dark experiences of the past must have left a vivid mark inside me. A mark like an ominous and eerie blue bruise.
On the outside, I seemed to be living normally, but that was merely a camouflage. It was like a state of eternal latency, where one doesn’t know when or where it might break out.
The black hand that had hideously distorted my interior, the entity that had infected me with the pathogen… how could I tell him that it was his brother?
Or, should I live while hiding it from him too? Every time I see him, I will think of the secret, and at some point, seeing him itself, the very fact that I am hiding a huge secret from him, will become pain. Eventually, I will even feel guilt for deceiving him.
For the same reason, hadn’t I left Paelli because of the guilt toward my family?
I let my two hands hang helplessly. I stared blankly at the flowers he had sent me, which were becoming closer to death than life. Then, as if possessed, I gripped the phone in my hand. It was independent of my will. I watched indifferently, as if observing an actor’s hand through a screen, as my hand found his name in the call list and touched the screen.
It felt as if my heart had become numb so that I could feel nothing.
[It’s a first. Hyung called me first.]
[……]
Only after hearing his joyful voice as soon as he answered did I realize that I hadn’t even planned what to say or how to say it. But no matter how much time passed, a plausible plan would not be formed.
[What’s wrong? You didn’t call by mistake, did you?]
[Um…]
[……]
[I don’t think I can go to Hongcheon on Saturday.]
[Ah…]
He couldn’t hide his disappointment. But on the other hand, I felt a sense of resignation, Read on Read BL Novelsas if he had been prepared for such a thing to happen.
[Hmm… I guess something important came up. I was happy that you prioritized me, but if it’s for work, I understand that it can’t be helped. I’m a working person too…]
Though I can’t help but be disappointed. Hearing his voice add that, I chewed my lower lip as if biting it off.
[Nox Hotel…]
[Yes?]
[I received an ad offer from Nox Hotel.]
[Ah… that eventually went to Hyung. That’s great.]
[Did you know?]
[It’s something Team 1 is handling, so our team only shared a brief overview of the process… there were a few candidates.]
[Are you saying that Mr. Yi-han’s influence didn’t enter into it at all?]
[……]
My tone was somewhat sharp. I hadn’t intended to corner him.
Just as gripping the phone wasn’t my will, the words flowing from my lips felt like lines from a script rather than my own thoughts.
[That we met in Paelli seven years ago. That wasn’t all. That Mr. Yi-han… is Lee Han-cheoeum of Hanseo Group. Why didn’t you tell me everything?]
[I was going to tell you when we went to Hongcheon. But… is that important?]
[……]
[Yes. When I was thirteen, I visited ‘Mio Palazzo’ with my mother at the invitation of Mr. Jeong Ji-in’s mother. I spent two weeks with Mr. Jeong Ji-in’s family then… and I… always wanted to meet you again. That’s why I visited again. Is there any reason why I shouldn’t be that child from back then? If I’m a person from Hanseo Group… does our relationship change?]
I clenched my fists tight and lowered my head.
Listening to the situation through his voice, even though I already knew, it felt stolen stolen contentcontentas if all those facts were becoming painfully vivid.
The back of the t-shirt I was wearing was becoming damp with sweat. In the humid heat just before August, I hadn’t turned on the air conditioner or the fan.
I had tried to bury it. Since it had already happened and time couldn’t be turned back, I thought covering it up was the best way. That dwelling on feelings of unfairness or resentment wouldn’t change anything.
But I felt like I was going to become intensely aggrieved. I felt like anger was boiling over.
The person who had chased down the guy who called me ‘Vino da Tavola’ and shoved him into a fountain. The person who had paid back the insult to me on my behalf.
If he found out the truth, he would probably… be more furious than I am, and hurt more than I am. Just as I couldn’t expose the secret and hurt my family, I couldn’t let him be hurt.
At my prolonged silence, he let out a sigh.
[I’m tied up at the company right now so I can’t even go to you, but if Hyung acts like this… I feel like I’m going to go crazy.]
With a much softer voice, he cautiously continued his next words.
[Surely… you’re not trying to say… that visit our sitesite -->we should end this, or something like that… right?]
[……]
[You’re not. You wouldn’t.]
[……]
[……Right?]
The inside of my throat was parched as if I hadn’t spoken for a very long time. Even parting my pressed lips was not easy.
[I’ll just… take some time to think alone over the weekend.]
My voice was rough, like scraping the bottom of a dried-up well. I clenched my fists tighter, as if I were about to dig my nails into my own flesh. I couldn’t lift my lowered head.
[For now, this is all I can do… I’m sorry.]
2.4. – Debt
“Dad!”
The twins rushed into the arms of their Adoptive Father, who was waiting at the arrivals exit. As Ji-in followed slowly behind them, pushing a cart loaded with luggage, a man dressed in a sharp suit approached him. Ji-in handed the cart handle to the man, who appeared to be the Adoptive Father’s aide, and slid his empty hands into his coat pockets.
Watching the reunion of blood relatives from a few steps away was heartwarming. Even though the twins were on the verge of turning twenty, they didn’t hold back their affection for the father they only saw once or twice a year.
“Ji-in, come here and give your dad a hug. We haven’t seen each other in five years; are you not even going to hug me?”
The Adoptive Father urged him with a gentle smile, arms wide open. Hesitating, Ji-in approached him with a faint smile and wrapped his arms around the man’s broad back.
He said five years, but in truth, it had been six. From the first moments of his memory, he had grown up calling him Dad, and even six years ago when they last met in Miami, he felt he had called him Dad relatively comfortably. However, because the gap had been so long, the word now felt awkward.
“Have you been doing well?”
“Yes, it’s been far too long. I didn’t show it, but you have no idea how sad I was that you didn’t come all this time. Isn’t it wonderful that we’re all gathered like this? Now, let’s get to Manhattan quickly! Shall we?”
After exiting the airport and crossing the traffic light, the Adoptive Father’s car was waiting in the pickup area. In the front row of the large [Read [Read [Read on Read BL Novels]on Read BL Novels]on Read BL Novels]SUV, which resembled a diplomatic vehicle, a driver and an aide were already seated. It seemed the Adoptive Father was living quite a luxurious life in New York.
When Ji-in was young, his Adoptive Father was a warm and cheerful person. He was a benevolent ‘father’ who loved sharing his cooking with others, cherished time with family, and had a broad embrace that Ji-in could run into without hesitation.
But gradually, he began to obsess over public honor and the display of wealth… Ji-in vaguely guessed that this change might have been the primary cause of the divorce.
It was around the time he began to change that he also started becoming a distant and awkward presence within Ji-in. Or perhaps, he had gradually begun to distance himself from Ji-in since the birth of the twins, his biological children. It was such a subtle change that Ji-in simply hadn’t noticed it immediately.
And the reaction he showed toward Ji-in’s sexual identity must have been the deciding factor.
It wasn’t a grand or solemn declaration. When the topic happened to come up at the dinner table, he had spoken about it naturally. At the time, Ji-in hadn’t doubted for a moment that his adoptive parents and siblings would accept it without any particular discomfort.
However, the Adoptive Father’s reaction was different from what he expected.
He didn’t express blatant displeasure. But there was a felt awkwardness. And occasionally, a cold gaze—as if looking at a disagreeable stranger—made Ji-in falter.
After the divorce was finalized and the Adoptive Father returned to the United States, Ji-in had also traveled back and forth to the U.S. for a while to see him along with the twins. Like other divorced families around them, the divorce in Ji-in’s family was accepted as a problem between the couple, unrelated to the children.
Furthermore, his mother never badmouthed the Adoptive Father or made [Read [Read on Read BL Novels]on Read unauthorized copyBL Novels]comments blaming him for the divorce. There was no reason for Ji-in and the twins to feel aversion toward him.
However, as the years passed, he felt more like a guest than a child to the Adoptive Father. There was no overt discrimination compared to the twins. But the strong intimacy of their childhood was gone.
Slowly, Ji-in began to avoid trips to the U.S., using work at ‘Mio Palazzo’ as an excuse.
Yet this time, for some reason, the Adoptive Father had actively invited Ji-in.
He hadn’t liked the idea of leaving his mother alone during the Christmas and New Year season, but he didn’t dislike the invitation from his Adoptive Father, who expressed sadness, asking if it hadn’t been too long since he’d come to visit. While comforting himself that his mother was enough, perhaps he had secretly longed for paternal affection.
The car left JFK Airport and took a sharp turn west near the Queens Zoo. Then, it maintained a steady speed toward Manhattan. The scenery outside the window was still far from the glamorous metropolis people typically associate with New York.
The sight of modest and monotonous houses, feeling almost lonely, interspersed with the occasional large shopping mall, was typical of a metropolitan suburb. Perhaps there had been a heavy snowfall recently, as piles of unmelted snow remained here and there like white stains.
Of the four people sitting facing each other—or rather, the three excluding Ji-in—they were still boisterous, catching up on news.
Having just entered his fifties, the Adoptive Father looked older than Ji-in remembered. He still looked younger than other Westerners his age and possessed the gentle manners and composure characteristic of a man who had lived wealthily, but he couldn’t completely erase the traces of the difficult years he had spent since the divorce.
As far as Ji-in remembered, he had never raised his voice or frowned at the twins. Even during the period when he became so materialistic that he felt like a [unauthorized Read on Read BL Novelsvisit our siteBL Novels -->copy]different person, although the time they spent together was limited, he was a father who did his best to listen whenever he was with them.
Since the mother had hired the best divorce lawyers to secure full custody and parental rights of the twins and Ji-in, losing both the glamorous life at ‘Mio Palazzo’ and the twins must have been quite difficult for him.
The Adoptive Father, who was responding to the twins’ chattering with a pleased smile or teasing them by intentionally denying their words, suddenly looked out the window. Then, lightly tapping Yui’s knee beside him, he spoke.
“Oh, I think you’ll have to stay at the hotel where I work this time. Is that okay?”
“Huh? Why?”
“When I told my boss you were coming, he offered us some great rooms.”
“Aw, it’s more comfortable just staying at your house, Dad.”
Ian, who didn’t particularly like staying in hotels, didn’t seem pleased with his father’s suggestion.
“My boss took special care of this because you all are coming, so let’s gratefully accept the favor this time. Okay? Besides, this is Ji-in’s first trip to New York, so wouldn’t staying at a hotel make it feel more like a vacation?”
“True, the hotel where Dad works [unauthorized copy]style="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[visit our site]style="font-size:0;color:transparent;display:inline;">Read on Read BL Novelsis fancy. We’ve stayed there, so it would be good for Hyung to see it too.”
“Right? The twins can share a twin room, and Ji-in can have a double room to himself.”
“Ah… Ian and I will share a room.”
Although he had come expecting to stay at the Adoptive Father’s luxury condo on Park Avenue in the Upper East Side, it didn’t matter to Ji-in where the accommodation was. If the rooms had to be split, he thought it would be better for the men to share a room, but Ian grabbed Ji-in’s shoulder and stepped in, pretending to be the adult.
“It’s okay, Hyung. Between Jung Yui and me, it’s fine. You use one comfortably by yourself.”
“Both rooms are spacious and are suites with living rooms, so there won’t be any discomfort even if you two share. Oh, and…”
“What now? Whenever Dad makes that face, he’s always asking for something.”
At Yui’s remark, the Adoptive Father burst into a cheerful laugh and gave her shoulder a tight squeeze before letting go.
The scenery outside had already left the quiet suburbs and was beginning to take on urban colors. The car was entering Long Island City. The gaps between buildings narrowed, and their heights became dizzyingly steep. Feeling the pleasant excitement of a trip, Ji-in reviewed the itinerary he had meticulously planned since he was in Paelli.
“That boss has invited you all to dinner tonight. It’s a place that’s hard to book on short notice, so it’s a great opportunity. It’s [unauthorized copyclass="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">Read on Read BL Novels]a hot spot that opened recently, so even Yui and Ian haven’t been there.”
“Sigh, it’s just a business dinner anyway.”
The Adoptive Father laughed again at Yui’s indifferent reaction as she shrugged. He looked as if he found her adorable, like a child acting as if she knew all about adult affairs.
“He’s a thoughtful person, so he’s showing his kindness. I promise that from tomorrow, you’ll have a completely free schedule.”
Perhaps they had these kinds of gatherings whenever they visited New York, as the twins seemed to accept it habitually despite their reluctance. After confirming their reactions, the Adoptive Father sought understanding from Ji-in, who was sitting diagonally across from him.
“Ji-in, it might be a bit uncomfortable, but let’s compromise for just one meal. Okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m looking forward to it since you said it’s a restaurant that’s hard to book.”
“Right, it’s a wonderful place, so you’ll all like it. Then… shall we have a cozy lunch among ourselves first?”
The car was just entering the Queensboro Bridge.
In the movie Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, which had Read on Read BL NovelsEND: Read on Read BL Novels -->become a classic for the end of the year, the bridge the protagonist Kevin crossed to enter Manhattan from JFK Airport was the Queensboro Bridge.
Through the trusses between the piers, which intersected precisely like a honeycomb, Manhattan across the river began to come into view. Even though this was nearly his tenth visit to New York, the twins cheered and clung to the window taking photos.
After finishing a late lunch at a New York-style pizza place the twins liked, the vehicle that had dropped off their luggage at the hotel was waiting for them again. The Adoptive Father left first as it was time for him to return to work, and the remaining three decided to walk leisurely to the hotel to soak in the city’s atmosphere.
The Nox Hotel, where the Adoptive Father worked as the executive chef of the Italian restaurant, was located about a 20-minute walk from the pizza shop near Bryant Park. The shortest route was to go straight with the park on the left, but the three chose a path that detoured about two blocks through Times Square and Rockefeller Center.
The center of Manhattan, ahead of Christmas and the New Year, was dazzlingly brilliant and boisterous to a disorienting degree. It was an atmosphere where even someone with a stoic disposition couldn’t help but feel excited.
Just as the size and taste of the pizza were completely different from Italy’s, the color was entirely different from Miami—a resort city flowing with bright, relaxed vitality—to the point where one could believe it was a different country, despite being in the same U.S.
They pushed through the crowds—or rather, entrusted their bodies to the crowd—and slowly headed north, gazing entranced at the signs of large theaters with over 500 seats and the outdoor billboards of current productions.
The three had agreed to travel by moving individually according to their own desired schedules, except for the 24th, 25th, 31st, and New Year’s Day, while meeting for meals in between. Ji-in had planned to invest about a week of that time in watching plays.
Most of the plays Ji-in had researched and kept in mind while in Paelli were productions from Off-Off-Broadway theaters. It wasn’t that he had intentionally sought them out, but most of the works that attracted him were experimental in nature.
Because of this, the theaters Ji-in would visit required going further inside from the main streets. Still, he would primarily be moving around the Times Square unauthorized copyarea. Since it was a region he would visit often, Ji-in explored the surroundings more carefully.
“Oppa, stand here! I’ll take a picture of you with Times Square in the background.”
As they passed in front of the Minskoff Theatre, one of the famous large theaters, Yui grabbed Ji-in’s arm and stopped him.
“Here?”
“It’s your first visit to New York. You have to leave a photo at each landmark. We all did it before. You’ve seen the photos, Oppa.”
Yui was already taking a Polaroid camera out of her crossbody bag. For nine out of ten tourists visiting New York, this was the place to take a photo with the brilliant billboards of Times Square as the backdrop.
Ji-in, who didn’t particularly like taking photos, hesitated for a moment but soon took his position without complaint.
Normally, Yui or Ian would have nagged him to smile more brightly, but before they could, Ji-in’s face was already shining brightly with anticipation and excitement.
Until dinner time, the three of them rested individually in their rooms at the Nox Hotel. Despite flying comfortably in full-flat seats, the fatigue of the journey remained due to the approximately 15-hour trip, including the layover in Rome.
The rooms were decorated elegantly without being excessive, refined and pleasant, and the mattress and bedding were impeccably comfortable. Nevertheless, even after drawing stolen [unauthorized copy]contentthe blackout curtains and lying in bed, Ji-in could not easily fall asleep.
Only after spending about an hour searching for reviews of the plays he had selected did Ji-in close his eyes.
Thinking that he was glad to have come to New York, and that this might be an opportunity to recover his relationship with his Adoptive Father even slightly. Drawing such hopes, he fell into a sweet sleep.
■
The restaurant the Adoptive Father’s boss had invited them to was a French restaurant opened a few months ago by a Michelin-starred chef, located near Columbus Circle on the southwestern edge of Central Park.
Since it was a high-end restaurant with a dress code, though not extremely strict, Ji-in and the twins dressed appropriately.
Arriving about 10 minutes before the 7 o’clock reservation, the three had already been guided to their table and were chatting over light aperitifs. It was slightly past 7:10, but the host who had arranged the gathering had not yet appeared.
After taking a sip of sparkling water and setting the glass down, Yui asked.
“By the way, what is Dad’s boss like? It’ll be hard if he’s too strict. Does he communicate well?”
“He’s much younger than your dad and has excellent manners, so I’m sure youR[visit our siteclass="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">stolen content]17;ll get along well.”
“The boss is younger than Dad?”
According to the Adoptive Father’s explanation, his boss, a high-ranking executive at the Nox Hotel New York, was a Korean man of only thirty-four.
“He’s from an owner family that owns a very large corporation in Korea, like your mother. Yet he’s an informal and humble person.”
Even as he spoke, the Adoptive Father repeatedly moistened his mouth with champagne, as if the meeting with his boss made him nervous.
“A new Executive Chef is being selected for my restaurant this time. Since he’s the one with the personnel authority, you mustn’t do anything rude, okay?”
The Adoptive Father, who had cautioned them in a lowered voice, suddenly widened his eyes and stiffened his expression as if he had spotted a ghost. Everyone’s gaze followed the direction his eyes were fixed on.
There, a tall East Asian man was entering the hall alone, guided by the restaurant manager. He was a man wearing a suit that wrapped around his body so precisely without a single error that it almost looked as if it were constraining his physique.
As if possessed, the Adoptive Father slid up from his seat, and the three followed him instinctively. The man, stopping in front of the table, lowered the corners of his eyes and put on an apologetic expression. It was an attitude that felt somewhat theatrical, with a sense of fabricated exaggeration.
“Hello. I’m a bit late, aren’t I? My previous meeting ran over. I apologize.”
In the middle of New York, in a setting where Ji-in was the only pure East Asian one could guess by appearance, the man began the conversation in Korean without any hesitation.
“Not at all, Executive Director. Thank you very much for inviting us.”
Back when the five of them lived together, the Adoptive Father’s Korean was at a considerable level, enough that everyone communicated in Korean when they were together as a family. Nevertheless, after moving to the U.S., he had communicated only in English with the twins and Ji-in. That was the case when they last saw him in Miami, and it was the same now in New York.
Yet, such a man responded immediately in Korean to his boss’s Korean.
“I heard the Chef’s children are all visiting New York together, so I must at least treat you to dinner.”
“I really don’t know how to thank you for taking care of such a detail despite your busy schedule…”
The Adoptive Father seemed excessively humbled by every single word from his boss, who was about twenty years younger.
Even before leaving ‘Mio Palazzo’, he had been changing since three or four years prior. Back when he was the husband of the owner of ‘Mio Palazzo’, the most luxurious hotel in Paelli, and the general chef of the Italian restaurant within ‘Mio Palazzo’, the Adoptive Father had never bowed his head before anyone. It was a complete departure from his previous self, who treated people informally and loved to share everything.
Because of this, the sight of him struggling with his counterpart—even wiping away cold sweat with a hanRead on [Read on Read BL Novels]Read BL Novelsdkerchief—felt entirely foreign to Ji-in.
“I feel a bit slighted when you put it that way. But… aren’t you going to introduce them, Chef? It’s a bit awkward to just keep standing here.”
“Ah, yes, Executive Director, these are my children. This is Yui and Ian.”
“The famous twins! It’s a pleasure. I’ve heard so much about you. I can’t tell you how impressive the Chef’s paternal love is. I’m almost envious that you have a father like this.”
Shaking hands with Yui and Ian in turn, the man lightly patted the Adoptive Father’s back.
“So, come to New York more often from now on. Your father gets very lonely.”
Since the Adoptive Father was doing nothing but repeatedly wetting his lips while staring down at the table, the twins cast curious glances at their father even as they shook the man’s hand.
However, the Adoptive Father didn’t seem to have the luxury of noticing his children’s gaze. Pointing toward Ji-in, who stood closest to the man’s right at the five-person round table, he wiped the sweat from his temples with a handkerchief.
“Executive Director… and this is the eldest, Ji-in.”
“……”
The man turned his body slightly to the right toward Ji-in.
Unlike with the twins, he initiated a handshake first. With a smile on his lips, the man lightly shook the joined hand.
“I’ve wanted to meet you after hearing about you from the Chef… but the photos don’t do you justice.”
“Thank you for inviting us today. I am Jeong Ji-in.”
Facing him directly from a close distance, the man was more than handsome. He was tall enough that his lips were roughly at Ji-in’s eye level, and with long limbs and a sleek build, he looked even taller and slimmer thanks to his sharp-patterned suit.
He was clean and sophisticated, his demeanor possessed grace and composure, and his expression was not stiff. Perhaps because of his narrow, sharp jawline and somewhat fastidious impression, there was still something about him that made one feel tense. At the very least, he didn’t project the friendly atmosphere of someone who would be easy to talk to, as the Adoptive Father had suggested.
After all five were seated, the restaurant manager came to the table personally to assist with the orders.
Four types of dinner courses were available. The man skillfully recommended menus, asking for each person’s preference one by one. Then, when it was finally his turn, he hesitated and put down the menu book.
“I’m sorry to say this as soon as we’ve sat down, but I think I’ll have to leave after just one aperitif. I feel embarrassed because it might seem like I’m [visit our site]class="wm-strong" style="position:relative;display:inline;">[visit our site]pretending to be busy, but I have a subsequent schedule.”
“I know all too well how busy you are, Executive Director. Still, it’s such a shame.”
Contrary to his words, a look of relief appeared on the Adoptive Father’s face. The man interlaced his long fingers on the table and continued cautiously.
“Actually, I thought it would be more comfortable for you to dine as a family. Although I used the form of an invitation… I didn’t adjust my schedule with the intention of staying long from the start.”
Pausing for a moment, the man looked over at Ji-in to his right. It was a glancing look, not a direct gaze.
“But now… I regret that a little.”
After saying that, he let out a sudden laugh and looked down, as if embarrassed to have revealed his emotions, even indirectly.
At this unexpected side of him, which contradicted his first impression, Ji-in looked at the man’s profile once more. A faint smile lingered at the corners of the man’s thin lips as he scanned the wine list.
Ji-in felt that he might have to reserve or revise his judgment of the man.
The champagne he chose was served first, one glass for each person.
Maintaining etiquette, the man asked everyone if the drink was to their liking, and finally posed the same question to Ji-in.
“How about you, Ji-in? Do you think I chose correctly?”
“It’s crisp with a strong acidity… I think it’s a very good choice for an aperitif. To be honest, I was nervous, but drinking this champagne is bringing back my appetite.”
At Ji-in’s answer, the man smiled with his lips pressed tight, like a child who was happy yet shy to be praised. Then, resting his arm on the edge of the table, he naturally leaned his upper body toward Ji-in. It was a gesture that deviated from formal manners, but he didn’t seem to be the type to cling to formality as much as he appeared.
“Having grown up surrounded by people who were different on the inside than on the outside… I have a bit of an eye for people in my own way.”
The man’s voice was not loud. Through his body orientation and tone, he naturally signaled that this conversation was directed only at Ji-in, not everyone at the table.
“I think you have an exceptional capacity for empathy, Ji-in.”
“……”
“Specifically, I think you’re the kind of person who cannot indifferently watch the suffering of others. You know, the data-wm="visit our site" style="display:none;" aria-label="visit our site">visit our sitekind [Read on Read BL Novels]of person who hurts even at the pain of a breakup experienced by a character in a movie.”
For that moment, the man’s gaze, which had seemed dry and sensitive, felt as though it had softened.
While the signals of affection he sent were burdensome, Ji-in had no choice but to admit that the man’s guess was largely accurate.
The man introduced a few decent restaurants in New York worth visiting to Yui, who was already aiming to be a chef at the time. Then, before even finishing his glass of champagne, he checked his watch and stood up.
After shaking hands with each person more quickly and concisely than during the first introductions, it was Ji-in’s turn last.
“Ji-in, I hope we have a chance to see each other once more before you leave New York.”
“Yes… I hope so too.”
Watching the Adoptive Father’s expression over the man’s shoulder, Ji-in nodded politely. The palm of the man’s hand, which gripped Ji-in’s hand tightly one last time, was cold and dry.
After the man left, the atmosphere became much lighter. The Adoptive Father didn’t bother trying to switch back to English, and as the four of them spoke in Korean for the first time in a long while, a degree of their former harmony was revived.
The twins, who had been intimidated by the Adoptive Father’s tense data-wm="visit our site" style="display:none;" aria-label="visit our [stolen content]site">visit our siteattitude, regained their usual vitality. Yui, in particular, was serious as she carefully savored and evaluated each dish.
“New York definitely has more interesting elements than Paelli. No, it’s not New York, maybe it’s because he’s a Michelin-starred chef. I looked it up at the hotel earlier, and this guy has two more restaurants in Manhattan alone. To think my dad might soon become an executive chef in a city with such fierce competition… I’m so proud.”
Lifting her hips slightly from her seat, Yui reached out and hugged the Adoptive Father’s neck to show her affection. The Adoptive Father also patted Yui’s back.
“It’s not a high-end restaurant like the one the Executive Director recommended, but there’s an oyster place I really want to suggest. Hyung, what’s your schedule tomorrow? They have a happy hour from 4 to 7 PM on weekdays, and all oyster dishes are $1 each during that time. Want to go together tomorrow? If it’s your first time in New York, you absolutely have to go there.”
Slightly excited by her passion for cooking, Yui even waved the fork and knife she had been using to cut her venison steak.
The Adoptive Father stopped her and gently reminded her of the etiquette. Then, looking at Ji-in, who had moved to the seat next to him after the man left, he spoke slowly with a somewhat complicated expression—a face filled with pity or compassion.
“It’s your first time as a tourist, but strictly speaking, this isn’t Ji-in’s first time in New York itself.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Because he stayed here for about six months for treatment after the adoption.”
“That doesn’t count! Hyung doesn’t even remember it.”
Adoption was not a taboo subject in Ji-in’s household. They didn’t bring it up frequently on purpose, but they didn’t treat it like a sensitive bomb either. They mentioned it as much as necessary when the topic naturally arose.
However, it had been a very long time since the Adoptive Father had brought it up. A story from around the time Ji-in was first adopted. It was a story the Adoptive Father used to tell in the distant past whenever he was pleasantly drunk.
About the fate that made it impossible not to take Ji-in in as his son, and the miracle of Ji-in starting to speak again in New York, where he had stayed for treatment. Back then, the Adoptive Father loved to reminisce about that moment, looking at his son, Ji-in, with a loving gaze and eyes moist with tears.
The Adoptive Father completely stopped eating his grilled sea bass, more than half of which remained. He pressed a napkin to his lips to tidy up and then gazed intently at Ji-in.
“While waiting for the test results… I could barely even swallow water. From Harvard University Hospital in New Jersey to Columbia University Hospital here in Manhattan… I hired a consultant and visited almost every skilled doctor in the area for consultations. To think that was already over 20 years ago…”
With a face reflecting on the transience of time, he looked at Ji-in, immersed in sentiment. Ji-in’s emotions began to stir as well. It felt as if he were seeing the man—the father—of the past.
Ji-in had been protected in a facility in Seoul that the Adoptive Mother had consistently supported and volunteered at. He had been reported as a missing child and, after a certain period without a guardian being found, was moved to the facility.
Based on his physical development, Ji-in was about three years old, but because he couldn’t speak at all, it was impossible to determine which category he fell into among missing, abandoned, or lost children. Consequently, it was harder for him to be adopted than for children whose parents had personally completed the documents for relinquishment of parental rights and adoption permission.
Furthermore, the issue of his silence further narrowed his opportunities for adoption.
Bitterly, the reality was that the closer a child was to infancy, or the more handsome they were, the higher their probability of adoption. Despite his striking looks, Ji-in had not met adoptive parents for over a year and was gradually moving away from the preferred age for adoption.
Whether Ji-in was unable to speak due to physical or mental issues, or whether he had closed his mouth by choice to protect himself. With the tight budget of the facility, they couldn’t even dream of a precise examination, let alone treatment.
After careful consideration, the Adoptive Mother decided to adopt Ji-in, whom she had watched since his hospitalization. Since she was preparing to move to Italy and marry after retiring from the entertainment industry, the adoption proceeded quickly. And before entering Italy, they chose to go to the United States first to accurately diagnose and treat Ji-in’s condition.
“At that time, I really wondered what would happen, but the test results showed nothing was wrong… I felt like I could breathe again, but from then on, it was a battle against time.”
The Adoptive Father’s voice was trembling slightly. Pausing to clear his throat, perhaps feeling a restriction in expressing his emotions, he briefly switched to English to continue the story.
“I wonder if it wasn’t in vain that I stayed by his side day and night, caring for him with all my heart, but in the seventh week after coming to America, he opened his mouth like a miracle. Neither your mother nor I will ever forget the words you said then for the rest of our lives.”
At the time, the Adoptive Mother had been growing a spring orchid in the Manhattan apartment where they were temporarily staying. She had brought in only that one orchid without any other pots, putting in great effort to match the humidity and temperature.
With the hope that something good would happen to Ji-in once that orchid bloomed, she waited desperately for the flower. Although the flower stalk had emerged, she couldn’t let her guard down because it was common for the stalk to wither and die even after appearing.
Two days after the surface of the potting soil had dried, in the morning. When she watered the orchid Read on Read BL Novelsregularly at the set time, Read on Read BL NovelsJi-in always watched visit our siteher from her side and listened to her stories about waiting for the flower. Even if she didn’t know if Ji-in was listening, she told him many stories.
One day, it was just as dawn was breaking.
The mother, who had been fast asleep, opened her eyes blearily at the gesture of a hand shaking her awake. Ji-in, who should have been sleeping soundly beside her, was looking down at her with wide-awake eyes. Just as she smiled and tried to hug her son, small lips parted.
『Mommy, the flower is here.』
The desire to quickly tell her that the flower she had waited for so long had bloomed was what had opened Ji-in’s mouth.
Ji-in, of course, did not remember that event. Nor did he remember the story of the three of them hugging each other while looking at that flower.
However, whenever he heard that story from his adoptive parents, he felt filled with intimacy and happiness. Even if they weren’t connected by blood, he could find peace in confirming that he was a precious existence to them and that they had shared a beautiful moment together.
“Dad, seriously… do you still cry when you tell that story? Here, wipe your tears.”
Yui, who was scolding him while handing him a paper napkin, also had reddened eyes.
Ji-in lowered his head. Perhaps he had been perceiving things too sensitively.
Even after becoming a somewhat arrogant person obsessed with material things, the Adoptive Father had remained an unchangingly gentle father to the twins. He thought that if he was such a person, then even if he had become superficial, his feelings toward him, the adopted son, might still be the same. Once, they had been a father and son who were affectionate enough to be envied by anyone.
Moreover, there were plenty of biological parents in the world who could not accept their biological son’s coming out. The fact that his relationship with the Adoptive Father had become awkward after coming out might not be because he was adopted, but simply because it was difficult to accept his son’s sexual identity.
Such hopes began to take root in Ji-in’s mind and heart.
And at the same time, he felt he finally understood his own true feelings—the loneliness he had felt over the distanced relationship with the Adoptive Father while pretending to be indifferent. Because to Ji-in, they weren’t just an adoptive father and mother, but the father and mother who had protected and embraced him from his very first memories.
He had to quietly admit that he had missed that paternal affection. That he had been waiting for his father to love him again, just as he did the twins, and just as he had when Ji-in was young.
Inviting Ji-in on this trip might indeed have been the Adoptive Father’s effort to restore their relationship. Like before. Like in his childhood, when the father would sit him on his lap, kiss his hair, and tell him how special a child Ji-in was.
■
From the window of the hotel room, one could see St. Patrick’s Cathedral and the Rockefeller Center behind it.
Perhaps because Christmas was just around the corner, all the lights on Madison Avenue seemed to contain the characteristic mood of the year-end—both tender and lonely. Even the procession of one-way cars lined up toward [visit [visit stolen contentour site]our site]the north looked like the light bulbs decorating a tree.
Looking out at the dizzying skyscrapers lined up shoulder to shoulder, Ji-in thought of Paelli.
The lights in the low areas gradually fading as the night deepened, and the Christmas tree standing in the lobby of ‘Mio Palazzo’. The Christmas decorations throughout the hotel and the luminarie in the garden.
A sudden sense of precariousness, like that felt by a human whose feet have left the ground, made Ji-in anxious. He felt as if he had traveled too far from home.
Even as recently as that afternoon, he had thought it was a good thing he came to New York, but seeing himself missing home in less than a day, a hollow laugh escaped Ji-in.
Just as he turned away from the magnificent view and stepped back from the window, the doorbell rang.
Did Yui or Ian come to borrow some toiletries they had forgotten to pack? Feeling glad, Ji-in hurried across the living room toward the entrance.
However, the visitor he confirmed through the round peephole was the Adoptive Father.
“Did something happen?”
At the words he uttered as soon as he opened the door, the Adoptive [[Read on Read BL Novels]class="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">Read on Read BL Novels]Father paused and made an awkward expression.
“Does something have to happen for me to come visit?”
“No, it’s not that…”
For a long time, Ji-in had never spent time alone with the Adoptive Father without the twins. That was why his first reflex was to worry if something had happened.
“I was in the kids’ room… and I stopped by for a moment before heading back. It’s been a long time since I’ve talked with you.”
“You’re welcome. Please, come in.”
Pulling the door open further, Ji-in stepped aside to let the Adoptive Father enter. Passing through the hallway into the living room, he paced back and forth in the center, like a man who didn’t know what to do with himself.
“I hope I’m not disturbing your rest.”
“No. I wasn’t doing anything in particular. Please, sit.”
While Ji-in prepared two glasses of whiskey at the mini-bar, the Adoptive Father sat in the seat Ji-in offered. He leafed through travel brochures scattered on the sofa table and the Broadway schedules [visit our site]data-wm="Read on Read BL Novels" style="display:none;" aria-label="Read on Read BL Novels">Read on Read BL NovelsJi-in had printed from Paelli. Judging by his unfocused, vacant gaze, it didn’t seem like an action born of particular interest.
Handing him a glass on the rocks, Ji-in sat in the single armchair opposite him.
“Thank you for being polite during dinner with the Executive Director today. You… have always been a child who never disappoints.”
His adoptive father was dressed in high-end casual wear, with a thin, lightweight cashmere coat resting beside him. Despite this, he looked shabby and exhausted, as if he were drenched in water.
Though he denied it, Ji-in wondered if something had actually happened. He carefully gauged the man’s mood.
“I couldn’t say it in front of the twins… but honestly, he’s such an unpredictable person that I was very nervous.”
Confessing this with an awkward expression—neither a smile nor a frown—his adoptive father swallowed three or four consecutive gulps of strong whiskey, undiluted by ice. He seemed like a man trying to bring up a difficult topic that couldn’t be broached without the momentary strength of alcohol.
“It seems… he took a great liking to you. He praised you a lot.”
“Yes…”
“How about you?”
“……”
Leaning forward with his elbows resting on his thighs, his adoptive father looked up at Ji-in.
It felt awkward to be asked such a question by him. Ji-in toyed with his glass, which he hadn’t tasted a single drop of, and answered ambiguously.
“He seems like a good person… but it’s not as if I’ll be staying in New York forever. There isn’t much to like or dislike…”
When Ji-in had first revealed his sexual identity, his adoptive father had shown intense bewilderment, and they had grown distant since. For the past few years, they had only exchanged formal greetings over the phone. To think that this man was now trying to arrange a romantic encounter with another man. It was a stark reminder that six years was by no means a short amount of time.
However, his expression was not bright at all. Since his boss liked Ji-in, he was forced to suggest it, but perhaps he still harbored homophobic tendencies.
While Ji-in was thinking this, his adoptive father hesitantly spoke again.
“Even if you don’t necessarily become lovers, you know… there are things like… memories from a trip.”
“……”
Ji-in narrowed his eyes, wondering what he meant by that.
The man emptied the remaining whiskey in one go, as if draining the glass. Then, like someone who had suddenly found a surge of courage, he spoke quickly and without hesitation.
“Do you happen to have any important plans tomorrow? The Executive Director has specially cleared his schedule for you; it seems he intends to take you somewhere very nice.”
“Father.”
“Even from a man’s perspective, he has a stunning appearance, immense wealth, and is even kind… isn’t he a truly wonderful person? If someone of his caliber is a partner for you to enjoy yourself with while you’re young, you wouldn’t be losing out…”
“Father.”
“……”
Only then, at the sound of Ji-in calling him firmly, did his adoptive father stop talking and look his way.
Father. He couldn’t remember the last time he had used that title. Around the Read Read on Read BL Novelson Read BL Novelstime of his last visit to Miami, he had omitted [Read on Read BL Novels]the title even when he had something to say.
It wasn’t because he didn’t want to call him that. It was simply that the words wouldn’t come out due to the awkward distance between them. He didn’t hate the word; rather, he had wanted to say it so badly.
“I… am not interested in… those kinds of one-time encounters. He isn’t someone I can see consistently.”
His adoptive father simply stared at Ji-in in silence for a moment. He looked deeply disappointed—no, devastated. Since it was a proposal from his boss, it must be a precarious position for him. But that didn’t mean Ji-in wanted to engage in an encounter he wasn’t fond of.
His adoptive father sank into thought for a moment, drinking more alcohol. Then, he suddenly looked up and faced Ji-in head-on. His expression was no longer hesitant as it had been at first. Instead, he radiated a kind of stubbornness—the “come what may” attitude typical of someone backed into a corner.
“When you couldn’t be adopted or receive treatment at that facility… and were neglected for a year, your mother and I visited you every week to care for you. You don’t remember, but while you wouldn’t open up to the social workers at the facility, you reacted only to your mother and me.”
“……”
“While treating you after you came to America, and after settling in Paelli… I cared for you like my own child. I made sure you enjoyed everything the twins enjoyed. I sent you to the same international school, bought you the same fine clothes, taught you sports and instruments… and now… aren’t you even going to inherit the management rights of ‘Mio Palazzo’!”
As he continued, his adoptive father sounded almost angry with Ji-in. Ji-in remained frozen, simply facing that anger. He couldn’t react to the sudden attack. Even though he wanted to drink the alcohol in his glass, his hand wouldn’t move.
Ji-in’s adoption had been public, and it wasn’t a taboo subject within the family, but no one in the family had ever spoken of that adoption [Read on Read BL Novels[[stolen content]class="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">unauthorized copy]style="font-size:0;position:absolute;left:-9999px;">]as if it were a sacrifice bestowed upon him.
Therefore, while he felt the loneliness of not knowing his roots, he had never felt sorrow over the reality of being adopted. He had never felt that he wasn’t ‘real family’ because he was adopted.
But now, Ji-in felt a profound sense of void, as if his very existence was being denied.
‘Like my own child’… His mother had never used such an expression. The phrase ‘like my own child’ implied that he was not, in fact, the same as a biological child.
Moistening his lips with his tongue and swallowing hard, Ji-in finally opened his trembling lips.
“I am… grateful. For everything you’ve done for me…”
“Being grateful—saying it with words isn’t enough. What we gave you wasn’t just that much. Right?”
“……”
The expensive tuition of the international school, the luxury clothing, and the affluent life he had enjoyed. Was he being told to pay all that money back? Ji-in just stared blankly at his adoptive father’s flushed, dark-red face.
“Look at me now. Do you know how hard it was for me to reach my current position here, where there is style="position:relative;display:inline;">[Read on Read BL Novels]no one to pull me up… If you have a deep loneliness within you, can’t you understand me?”
His eyes, filled with a desperate plea, looked at Ji-in longingly. As if the magic key to achieving his lifelong ambition lay in Ji-in’s hands.
Where did it go wrong?
As in any major city in the world, but especially here in New York, the position of Executive Chef at a five-star luxury hotel restaurant was special.
One leads a glamorous life through interviews with various media outlets, television appearances, and invitations and collaborations with famous restaurants in other cities. Becoming a popular socialite is a given. It also works advantageously when eventually becoming independent to run one’s own restaurant.
The Head Chef also held a position with a massive salary and excellent treatment, but the face of the restaurant was ultimately the Executive Chef.
His adoptive father was craving the summit, like a racehorse sprinting with blinkers on.
“What would have happened if you had stayed in Seoul? Forget adoption, you wouldn’t have even received proper treatment. Even if an adoption had gone through, who could be sure what kind of parents you would have met? But you… you met good adoptive parents and lived affluently in a harmonious home. If you think of it as paying back that debt… a single date is nothing, is it?”
“……”
Debt.
At the mention of paying back a debt, Ji-in was finally rendered speechless.
His adoptive father got off the sofa and crawled on his knees to the chair where Ji-in sat. He grabbed Ji-in’s hand so abruptly that the whiskey in the glass sloshed over, spilling onto his thigh and the carpet.
“I beg you… otherwise, I have no way of getting that position. I can’t retire after staying as a Head Chef my whole life… I can’t… that’s all I have left now.”
His adoptive father’s cloudy eyes, with blurred edges, looked up at Ji-in. Then, he buried his forehead against Ji-in’s tightly gripped hand as if collapsing.
“Just one night is enough. For your father’s sake… just one night… Ji-in… I’m begging you… Your mother has connections at Nox. Even so, no matter how much I ask, she won’t budge! So there is no other way for me to rise to that position…”
He was a man who had lived within the boundary of family for 15 years, and whom he had called Dad or Father for 20 years. He was the man who had watched over his entire growth process. Ji-in had thought that, even if not as much as the twins, he was still a precious existence to him.
Because that’s how the man had been to him.
Even while saying the relationship had grown distant, deep down he had missed his father, and he had been envious of the twins who headed to America when the time came. He had been foolishly happy hearing his father’s voice sounding disappointed, saying it had been too long and that he must come with the twins this time.
He had believed that he, too, was someone for whom the man wished safety, health, and happiness.
Ji-in felt a sneer at his own foolishness. Regardless of his intention, his eyes grew hot.
He could hear the thunderous sound of something collapsing inside him. You are nothing, a demonic voice screamed.
His adoptive father threw Ji-in’s hand away as if shaking it off and instead clung to Ji-in’s calves.
“I’ll do anything you say, even pretend to die. Huh? I’ll lick your feet, I’ll bark like a dog if you tell me to!”
His adoptive father actually prostrated himself flat on the carpet and licked the top of Ji-in’s slippers with his tongue. Completely blinded by money and fame, he could no longer be seen as a normal person. Ji-in felt almost a sense of sorrow.
Knowing the man who had once embraced him with a generous and warm personality and lifted him high into the air, this change felt even more futile. Where did it go wrong? A single hot tear, held back for so long, flowed down his left cheek. He didn’t even know what kind of tear it was.
A child repays a parent’s grace; they do not pay back a debt.
The debt of meeting good adoptive parents and growing up affluently… repaying grace belonged to the realm of duty, but repaying a debt was a matter of liability. It was the same as saying there was no choice.
Ji-in wiped the falling tear with the back of his hand.
“You don’t have to do this. Please get up. And… promise me. That you will never contact Mother about this matter again.”
“I promise! I promise! I swear it on the twins!”
He promised. His adoptive father nodded his head vigorously several times with bloodshot eyes.
■
A limousine was waiting at the hotel’s back entrance.
Since the man waiting at the end of the car’s long tail bowed toward him, Ji-in knew it was the vehicle he was meant to board.
There was another man inside. The man sitting on the inner side of the L-shaped seating gave Ji-in a short nod. The man standing by the door was a Westerner, and the man inside was an East Asian, presumably Korean.
As the East Asian man gave instructions to the driver, a screen partition blocked the view of the driver’s seat. Then, the long car began to slowly pull away from Madison Avenue.
“We will take you to your destination. Please expect the travel time to be between [visit our site[Read on Read BL Novels]style="font-size:0;position:absolute;left:-9999px;">]one hour and thirty minutes to two hours.”
Because the man spoke English, his origin became even harder to gauge.
He took a glossy black long ribbon out of a small case. Instantly, Ji-in realized it was intended to cover his eyes. It was a situation so cinematic he almost scoffed, though of course, no laughter came.
“Please do not find this unpleasant; think of it as a tool for a surprise. There will be no binding of any other part of your body. Because the status of the person receiving you is special, this is merely a small measure for security. We ask for your understanding.”
What would happen if he replied that he didn’t understand? Did he even have the right to refuse? While he had such thoughts with a mind devoid of reality, the ribbon was handed to the Western man sitting next to Ji-in, and soon, the smooth, cold ribbon touched his eyes.
The moment he stepped into this limousine, Ji-in realized that his understanding and consent were no longer requirements for these people.
“Water and drinks are prepared, so please let us know whenever you need anything.”
“A glass of whiskey, please. Straight.”
After a small clinking sound, a glass was placed in Ji-in’s hand.
“I’ve filled it about one-third.”
Carefully, so as not to fail at adjusting the tilt and let the alcohol run down his chin, Ji-in let the liquid slide down his esophagus.
The interior of the vehicle was quite pleasant. The bustling road noise of Manhattan was almost perfectly blocked, and instead, classical music played at an appropriate volume to loosen his tension. The indoor temperature and the seat temperature were also suitable. Throughout the journey, the two men did not speak to each other once, making Ji-in feel as if he were spending time alone in a cozy room cut off from the outside world.
Had it not been for the miserable situation, he would have fallen asleep in less than ten minutes.
“Thank you for your patience. I will untie the ribbon.”
How long had they been driving? The man’s calm voice announced their arrival. The soft ribbon brushed against the bridge of his nose and cheeks as it was undone.
Even though the interior wasn’t very bright, because his eyes had been covered for about an hour and a half, his vision needed a few seconds to adjust.
The car had stopped in front of a mansion. The two-story mansion, which formed a half-moon shape with concave edges, was surrounded by layers of tall trees.
Sending away the limousine, blindfolding with a ribbon, and bringing him to a secluded luxury villa…
If this had happened between lovers, Ji-in smiled bitterly to himself, thinking it might have Read on Read BL Novelsbeen a romantic and fluttering surprise event.
A two-hour drive from Manhattan.
It was likely somewhere in Suffolk County, where the villas of the wealthy are concentrated, such as East Hampton, Greenport, or Montauk, but that was only a guess. He couldn’t find any topographical hints to narrow down the candidates further. Ji-in admitted that a single 10cm-wide ribbon had a definite effect.
“He is waiting inside.”
As he stepped out of the car, cold, clean air rushed into his lungs. Without the leisure to look around thoroughly, Ji-in took a deep breath and followed the man.
Upon opening the brown main door, there were stairs leading to the second floor on the left and a hallway connected on the right.
The man guided Ji-in further into the hallway. Passing through a spacious main living room, they turned the corner of the hallway a few more times, venturing deep inside. Finally, the man stopped at the dead end of the hallway.
There was only one wooden door there, which looked simpler than the other doors in the mansion. To the naked eye, it looked like a closet for hiding cleaning supplies or storing equipment.
The man stood completely blocking the door with his back to Ji-in. After some rattling for a moment, he pulled the handle outward and stepped aside.
“You may go down.”
“……”
It seemed to mean he should move alone from here.
Inside the door was a narrow staircase leading to the floor below. Unlike the shabby door, the stairs were carpeted, and the walls were luxuriously decorated with burgundy velvet wallpaper.
Ji-in stepped onto the stairs toward the basement, from which a thin, fading sound of music leaked. After descending three or four steps, the door behind him closed quietly. After descending the stairs that curved at the midpoint, a reception room about the size of a hotel guest room appeared.
The atmosphere of the space, decorated darkly in dark brown and deep gray, was like a secret fortress. Above the fireplace where logs were burning, a decoration that looked like a giant rock had been embedded caught his eye.
And in front of the fireplace sat a high-backed armchair. There sat the Executive Director of Nox Hotel New York, Lee Seo-gyeong.
“You’ve worked hard coming all this way. Were you uncomfortable during the trip?”
“Aside from the blindfold… it was comfortable.”
The man chuckled while remaining seated and asked Ji-in if he wanted a drink. He felt it would be better to be d[visit our site]style="font-size:0;color:transparent;display:inline;">Read on Read BL Novelsisoriented than to maintain a clear mind.
“Then, something strong, please.”
“Sit.”
The man stood up and offered Ji-in a chair.
It was an armchair of the same design, facing the fireplace, next to the chair the man had been sitting in. Ji-in hesitated for a moment before slowly walking toward it.
His adoptive father had used the expression ‘a single date,’ but Ji-in wasn’t so naive as to think that meant a meeting to share a drink and a conversation.
Perhaps the moment he entered that basement, Ji-in was already regretting his choice. No, perhaps he had been regretting it from the moment he decided to grant his adoptive father’s request.
And yet, it seemed like the simplest solution.
If the years spent being raised as an adopted son were a debt, he wanted to settle that debt with this task and erase his adoptive father completely from his future life. Moreover, even after the divorce, the man was still the biological father of the twins. Whenever things weren’t going well for him, the twins would often lose their appetite, worrying about their father far away.
If only I closed my eyes, everything could pass as if nothing had happened. I could maintain my family’s peace. At that moment, he h[visit our [visit our site]site]ad thought so. Even if it was foolish.
A single night with a stranger at a travel destination. There was no reason he couldn’t do it. It wasn’t as if he had such strict moral standards regarding sex that he would shed tears over a one-night stand.
Thus, Ji-in struggled to erase the fact from his mind that this ‘date’ was transactional.
While he stared blankly at the flames burning in the fireplace, the man, who had stepped closer before he realized it, handed him a glass. Judging by the short length of the stem, it seemed to be cognac.
“It’s a strong drink, just as you wanted. Around 40 percent?”
“Thank you.”
“You must have a high tolerance.”
“More or less… I’m not weak.”
The man standing before him tilted his head slightly and looked down at Ji-in with interested eyes. Then, he returned to his seat.
“This is the space I’ve put the most effort into in this house; I decorated unauthorized copystyle="display:none;" aria-label="stolen content">stolen stolen contentcontentit like a speakeasy bar. I have a tendency to long for the time and space of the past… experiences I’ve never had. What do you think?”
“It’s wonderful.”
Looking around from where he sat, Ji-in gave a brief impression. However, in Ji-in’s eyes, the appearance of the man he would soon be rolling around with was more concerning than the underground secret base that looked like it had cost a considerable amount of money to decorate.
Despite being in his own mansion, the man was dressed in a stifling-looking three-piece suit. Although he had undone the jacket buttons, the suit—tailored perfectly from the shoulder line to the length of the sleeves—felt suffocating just to look at. It seemed less like clothing and more like a means of controlling and restraining himself.
“Everyone needs a place to hide. A place that exists solely for one’s own pleasure, completely separated from the world. A space where I can focus only on myself, whether it’s dancing, singing, painting… any activity is fine.”
“……”
“I guess my story doesn’t move you at all.”
No matter how he sugarcoated it, wasn’t he essentially saying that this place was a space completely separated from the world to enjoy sex?
While sneering inwardly, Ji-in expressed a half-hearted agreement.
“It would be nice to have such a place. But… for most people, that’s just a dream.”
Even when he raised his arm to drink, the man’s wrists barely revealed any bare skin. The shirt collar was tight, as if choking his neck, and there seemed to be not even a centimeter of slack in the cuffs. Along with his sharp appearance, it further emphasized a paranoid impression.
“There were only photos of the twins on the chef’s office desk, so I didn’t know about your existence, Ji-yoon. The one I first asked to be introduced to… what was the name? Anyway, it was the male twin. But the chef showed me your photo. From the photo, I thought the twin was more my type…”
“……”
Ji-in’s hand, which was bringing the reddish cognac to his lips, stopped.
“Seeing you in person, I felt like we might have some connection. Someone who understands the shadows of life is more attractive than someone who is just bright and radiant.”
The man’s subsequent words didn’t register in his ears.
Ji-in tilted his wrist again and swallowed the drink. He could barely feel the effect of the alcohol, which was nearly 40 percent.
He felt he finally understood why the man had specifically mentioned the adoptive father’s paternal love when they first greeted each other at the restaurant.
To protect Ian… because I am not as precious as Ian… because I can’t be… He puts me forward as a substitute to protect Ian, but not to the extent of finding another alternative to protect me…
A hollow laugh escaped. He decided to stop thinking. At this point, no matter what other reasons were added, nothing would change significantly.
“It’s Ji-in.”
“……”
The man’s puzzled expression turned toward him. His pale, neat face showed that despite owning such a mansion, he did not enjoy any external activities.
“My name. It’s Ji-in, not Ji-yoon.”
“Ah… I see, I’m sorry. Ji-in.”
Contrary to the words, he didn’t seem particularly sorry. Rather, a look of discomfort gradually deepened on his almost expressionless face. Swirling the glass that was only half-empty, the man spoke coldly in a sharp voice.
“I understand to some extent that you might feel like some modern-day Judy Garland… but nothing severe will happen to you. In fact, there hasn’t been any forced oppression on your way here.”
Having emptied his glass, the man pushed down the armrest and stood up.
“It’s a bit awkward for me to say this myself… but I’m quite soft-hearted, so I have no hobby of tormenting others.”
The man smiled down at Ji-in.
It was the day just before Christmas Eve. The sky he had glimpsed for a brief moment after getting out of the car and before entering the mansion had sunk low in a grayish hue, and the air was crisp and cold, as if it would shatter everything.
The adoptive father had emphasized it was ‘just one night,’ but things didn’t work that way. It was about a week later when Ji-in left that gloomy mansion, his eyes blindfolded with a ribbon just as they had been when he arrived.
In the car moving back to Manhattan, Ji-in was inevitably plagued by various thoughts. All he could do was blankly observe the images that randomly popped into and out of his head.
Then, his thoughts turned to the boy with whom he had shared his first experience several years ago, who was likely somewhere not far from New York. If he was attending Columbia University, he was truly close. Even if it were another Ivy League university, it would be about four hours from New York at most. A four-hour drive wasn’t considered far within the US.
Back then… he hadn’t asked because he was afraid of finding out in detail.
Or, he might be away from the area, traveling as he was then, or visiting Korea. Since it would be vacation time now.
Would he have become a bit more free from his inclinations? If he had overcome [unauthorized [Read on Read BL Novels]copy]that, he would have found a lover quickly.
Though he was faithful to his instincts in bed, he was a man who would be infinitely tender to his lover in daily life. Even if his kisses on the bed were like a beast’s, he might tremble his lips when giving a goodnight kiss in front of the house before parting.
Thinking about it made his heart ache slightly, as if something of his had been stolen.
Still, thanks to that, he could smile. It was a grotesque smile, like someone who had swallowed disgusting food and was suffering from a stomachache, but still, in that way…
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