1.4 – The Difference Between Playing with Fire and Dating
While I was taking a long rectangular box out of the back seat of the car, Tae-yoon opened the door to . Since the sun had begun to set, it was somewhat cool outside, but the interior, where hot air had been trapped all day, was humid. As soon as Tae-yoon turned on the lights, he started the air conditioner.
“I’m glad I asked you for help. I almost went to the housewarming empty-handed.”
“Do you really think the Young Master knows how to pick a housewarming gift?”
Leaning the box containing a cordless stick vacuum against the wall next to the entrance, I chuckled without even looking back at Tae-yoon.
“Is there any other Young Master who lives in a multi-unit house with five roommates?”
“Four of them are leaving now.”
“True, only two left.”
I pulled up a stool in front of the counter and plopped down, laughing a bit hollowly.
Since operates five days a week, today, Saturday, was Tae-yoon’s day off. After buying a vacuum cleaner from an electronics store as a housewarming gift for ‘Layered,’ I had stopped by following Tae-yoon, who intended to do a deep clean of the kitchen. [visit our site]visit our site -->Jae-woo was supposed to come pick us up soon. Since I didn’t have a car, there were many restrictions on movement.
Tae-yoon, moving busily inside the counter, placed a glass of beer with ice on the bar. Alcohol is not sold at , but that just means it’s not for sale; the refrigerator inside the kitchen was always stocked with soju, beer, and wine.
Even though I hadn’t been running around sweating, the beer felt so refreshing that I emptied half the glass in one go.
“Maybe I should buy a car soon.”
“……”
It was just a mutter to myself without much thought.
Tae-yoon, who had been leaning against the prep table behind the counter drinking the remaining beer he had poured for me, was looking over at me while holding the bottle. A sly and ominous smile was hanging on his lips.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re the person who wouldn’t even touch the steering wheel of a company car because you were scared of getting into an accident and making the news. What sudden change of heart is this?”
I was momentarily speechless because I didn’t expect him [class="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">unauthorized copy]to overinterpret the statement about buying a car to that extent. It was even more so because the guess wasn’t entirely off.
“I’ve always thought it was inconvenient not having a car. Whenever I want to go somewhere, I have to call managers or take a taxi. It’s not exactly convenient.”
Tae-yoon leaned toward me from behind the counter. Resting his arms on the bar, he shook the beer bottle in front of my eyes.
“Actor Jeong, your excuses are long today. Speak straight.”
“About what.”
“Are you dating?”
Tae-yoon’s imagination didn’t stop at a mere ‘change of heart’ upon hearing I wanted to buy a car.
“……”
“What, are you finally dating Yoon Ju-ho?”
Interpreting my lack of response as the fluster of someone who style="position:relative;display:inline;">[Read on Read BL Novels]had been hit where it hurts, Tae-yoon raised his eyebrows and looked delighted.
Tae-yoon was the only person who knew about my relationship with Yoon Ju-ho. After reuniting in Seoul and watching me for several years while visiting frequently, Tae-yoon had noticed first and asked tentatively. I had tried to deny it, saying his imagination was too rich and that such a thing was impossible, attempting to change the subject. But Tae-yoon knew me too well, and he had conviction, not just suspicion. Eventually, I had admitted the relationship due to his persistence.
Surprisingly, Tae-yoon liked Yoon Ju-ho. His reasoning was that since he had lived as a top star his whole life, he must be playing around in messy ways, but seeing as not a single scandal had broken in his private life, he must be a professional rather than some clumsy pervert. He didn’t seem to be a professional pervert, but it was true that he was a man of thorough self-management.
As the word ‘dating’ was attached to the name Yoon Ju-ho, I unconsciously frowned.
“That will never happen even if I die and come back to life, so drop your expectations. If you like him that much, why don’t you try seducing him?”
Tae-yoon shook his head firmly and straightened up from the bar.
“He’s a man who rolls around with a guy like you; do you think my size would satisfy him? I’m content just enjoying the view on TV.”
Taking another sip from the mouth of the bottle, Tae-yoon tilted his head and frowned, perhaps because of the bitterness of the beer.
“But you know, looking at what Yoon Ju-ho has been doing lately, he’s becoming less satisfying.”
“Why? Didn’t you say someone of that level should be my partner?”
“The conditions are perfect. The conditions are perfect… but if he’s in that position, shouldn’t he be able to handle your support cleanly? What’s with letting articles like that get out?”
“……”
Since he was a guy who checked my articles more meticulously than I did, I had guessed that there was no way he hadn’t seen this morning’s article. I had just hoped he wouldn’t say anything.
As expected, the production team of had several other actors in mind besides me. Once that became clear, I felt less confident in the result.
Bringing the remaining half of the beer to my lips, I spoke as if it were nothing.
“Forget it, what does that have to do with Yoon Ju-ho.”
“Actor Jeong, too much integrity can earn you hatred. Is it a crime to get work through connections in the entertainment industry? It’s not just actors. Look at the MCs who bring in their close hubaes and younger brothers to their programs in droves—who curses them? Instead, people praise them for being loyal and taking care of their own. You’re only hurting yourself by sticking to your convictions alone.”
The reason I disliked networking for work wasn’t because I was ‘upright,’ as Tae-yoon and those around me thought. I didn’t have a character strong enough to live by some grand conviction. I was just an ordinary person, bound and struggling under the influence of every past event that had shaped my current self.
When I saw that article this morning, I had felt so frustrated that I had a momentary [unauthorized copy]impulse to call Yoon Ju-ho. Even if I couldn’t [Read on Read BL Novels]ask him to push for me, I wanted to ask if he knew how things were going.
“Integrity, my foot. It’s just that it doesn’t fit my personality, so I can’t do it even if I wanted to. You know I have no tact for those things.”
“……”
Tae-yoon, looking down at me with the beer bottle in his mouth, didn’t seem to believe my words. Rubbing the water droplets on the surface of the beer glass with my fingertip, I lifted the glass and spoke.
“I’ll just have to wait and hope for good news.”
The beer, with only a sip or two left, no longer tasted as good as it did at first, perhaps because the ice had melted.
As soon as my glass was empty, Tae-yoon pulled out a fresh beer and refilled it.
“That ‘Actor S’ in the article, that’s Song Yeo-jun, right? His fans are going wild in the comments, saying he’s the perfect fit. I wonder if they’ve even read the original work before talking. How could Song Yeo-jun possibly express that upright yet pitiful and sacrificial love? He’s a kid who can do nothing but strike a pose.”
The Song Yeo-jun Tae-yoon was referring to was the actor most frequently mentioned as the role of ‘Yi-soo’ in netizens’ virtual casting. A former model signed to a major agency, he had garnered significant attention by landing lead roles from his debut work.
Tae-yoon glanced at me and asked.
“You’ve seen the original webtoon, right?”
“I have.”
“You’re the perfect fit. This is a chance to shut up those bastards who say you can only play General Managers, Team Leaders, or third-generation chaebols! Look at your face; you have the kind of mask that would make viewers mistake you for a Vampire. You need a face like this for the story to be plausible. Song Yeo-jun my ass…”
While being taken in and raised by ‘Hwaye,’ ‘Yi-soo’ believes that he is a Vampire just like her. He has no doubts about this, and believes that until the fact that ‘Jeong Seol’ is a Vampire is revealed, the human ‘Jeong Seol’ cannot understand Hwaye’s loneliness and pain, and therefore cannot love her completely.
I had never craved a role this much. My desperation to appear in wasn’t just because other offers had dried up. Nor was it out of a greed to become a Hallyu star under Director Hwang Su-young.
While I couldn’t assert that I was the perfect fit for the role, I couldn’t help but overlap myself with ‘Yi-soo’ while reading the original webtoon.
I, who wanted to be my mother’s real son, and wanted to share as many commonalities with her as possible…
Tae-yoon, noticing my silence, cautiously spoke up.
“Couldn’t you… at least try talking to Yoon Ju-ho once?”
“……”
“Alright, alright! If that director or whoever has an eye for talent, he’ll pick you!”
“Anyway, don’t go saying weird things about dating or whatever in front of Jae-woo.”
No sooner had I finished speaking than Jae-woo entered, pushing the door open with his shoulder and grumbling while clutching a large box.
“What on earth is this? Why is it so heavy, Hyung?”
“Oh? A package arrived? It wasn’t here a moment ago! Bring it over here, to the kitchen, Jae-woo!”
I quickly stood up to help him carry it, but Jae-woo shouted for me to get out of the way, saying it was faster to move it alone. Jae-woo was the type who could easily move a small office refrigerator by himself. Seeing even him struggle made me curious about what had been bought.
What Tae-yoon pulled out of the box placed on the stainless steel counter was a cast-iron pan. Upon seeing it, Jae-woo’s monolid eyes widened.
“You told me to move this? How many of these are there?”
“I saw you carrying it, so I told you to put it here. You really are a beast.”
While Jae-woo stood in front of the air conditioner, shaking the chest of his t-shirt to cool off his sweat, Tae-yoon served him a glass of peach-flavored iced tea. It was Jae-woo’s favorite drink.
Jae-woo plopped down in a chair right next to me and drained the glass in one go, as if he were very thirsty.
“People say my taste is cheap, but really, iced tea made from powder is the best!”
Looking at Jae-woo, who thrust out his empty glass—now containing only ice—asking for more, Tae-yoon laughed as if he found it absurd, yet he obediently took the glass. The very fact that the kitchen stocked iced tea powder was because of Jae-woo.
As he made another glass of iced tea, Tae-yoon raised his voice.
“I heard Choi Hong-seo is moving into UN Village? Did ‘Layered’ make that much money? I thought they’d barely paid back their investment since they lost so much in the beginning. Now that money’s starting to hit the account, is he already getting ahead of himself and spending like a My-king?”
“Eh, no way!”
Jae-woo denied it flatly and decisively, but his expression looked as if his mouth was itching to say something. He seemed to be fidgeting, his hips shifting restlessly.
“No way? A four-bedroom mansion in that neighborhood would probably cost at least 5 million won a month in rent for a decent place. If the view is good, it’ll easily exceed 10 million. If it were me, I’d save that money and hoard it for a year or two. Who knows how long idol popularity will last.”
“Well… the CEO’s acquaintance is renting it out on very good terms, so it’s not much of a burden for them.”
“What kind of crazy person rents out a mansion on prime land on good terms for no reason? Park Jae-woo, you’ve rolled around in that industry for a while, yet you still have dreams and hope in your heart? Even if someone died in a house there, the property value in that neighborhood doesn’t go down.”
“Ah, I don’t know! The CEO said so, so I just assume that’s how it is. And why are you saying such things about kids who are just starting to do well? Hong-seo only has becoming a world star left now. Not just a Hallyu star, but a world star.”
Jae-woo’s face, which had been giggling while rolling his ‘R’ sounds excessively, suddenly became calm. Without even thinking about drinking the new iced tea Tae-yoon had made, he leaned his upper body toward me and lowered his voice.
“Hyung, but… about Hong-seo, I think that bastard might be dating someone lately.”
“Hong-seo is?”
Because it was so unexpected, my voice rose slightly in response.
“Didn’t you notice, Hyung? Even though he’s that busy, he always slips away somewhere else after his schedule ends. He spends the whole day clinging to his phone, and sometimes he smirks while looking at it… Read on Read BL Novelsit’s exactly how someone visit our siteacts when they’re dating. I asked the other managers, and apparently, he does that even during overseas schedules.”
Even during domestic activities, the time ‘Layered’ spent at the dorm to sleep was barely two to three hours. They would return home around 2 or 3 AM and leave for the shop around 5 AM for hair and makeup, so there was no opportunity to see his face.
“Maybe he’s just checking articles or comments. Searching is his hobby whenever he has a spare moment.”
“I know the face he makes when he’s checking comments. This is completely different. I guarantee it on my four years of manager experience; that’s 100% dating. At the very least, they’re ‘some-ing’.”
Pausing for a moment, Jae-woo glanced around habitually and lowered his voice, even though he knew only we were in the shop.
“That bastard sometimes asks to be dropped off at a hotel, you know?”
“Oh… Choi Hong-seo really has made it, huh? Now he’s doing things that actually seem like a celebrity.”
Tae-yoon, who had been checking the condition of each pan to see if there were any defects, laughed it off as if it were no big deal. Jae-woo, seemingly unhappy with that reaction, glared at Tae-yoon secretly and pouted.
“Still, I think we should at least know who he’s dating… but the CEO just tells us to pretend not to know. He says it’s a relief if he can relieve stress through dating since he’s so dizzyingly busy these days. Hyung, could you try probing him a bit? That guy tells you everything.”
“He doesn’t. He’s the type to keep the really important [unauthorized copy]things to himself. [Read on Read BL Novels]And we haven’t had time to talk lately.”
Jae-woo, who took a few refreshing gulps of his second glass of iced tea, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and pulled his chair closer to me.
“Then try probing him a little later. Please? That bastard is so careful with his words in front of me because I’m a company person.”
Having finished the defect check, Tae-yoon placed the last pan on top of the stack and clicked his tongue as he set the box down on the kitchen floor.
“The problem is a young guy NOT dating; it’s not like it’s interfering with his work, so why are you so anxious? To put it bluntly, Choi Hong-seo is feeding UB right now, so can’t he have that much of a right?”
“Ah, Hyung… outsiders should stay out of this! I’m doing this all for Hong-seo’s sake! I’m not saying he shouldn’t date at all, but what if he’s hanging out with someone who could cause problems? Reporters cling to you even more when you’re on the verge of becoming A-list. I don’t know about other members, but at this critical time, Hong-seo absolutely cannot have any trouble.”
Shaking his head as if the mere thought made him shudder, Jae-woo checked the clock on the wall. It was about time to leave to make it to the housewarming party.
“Unless it’s just a physical fling, if he’s really attracted to someone… how can you stop that, regardless of who the partner is? That’s very inhumane.”
Jae-woo, who had stood up and was preparing to leave while gauging the weight of the vacuum cleaner box I had placed by the door, retorted bluntly to Tae-yoon’s words.
“What’s ‘dating’ and what’s a ‘fling’? I don’t know about those complicated things… but imagine if some weird flaw is caught, the media [Read on Read BL Novels]blasts an article, and the public swarms in to tear him apart. That would be a much more inhumane experience for Hong-seo, wouldn’t it?”
Tae-yoon seemed to have nothing more to say about that, shrugging his shoulders to signal he was dropping the subject. Then, as he collected the glass Jae-woo had emptied, he deliberately glanced at me and spoke.
“Sigh, anyway, I keep hearing about dating here and there lately. Instead of those precious things who can’t even date as they please, some of that dating energy should rub off on a guy like me.”
“I’m leaving. Thanks for the beer. Since we picked the gift together, I’ll buy you something delicious next time.”
Pretending not to hear, I pushed the empty glass toward Tae-yoon and stood up to follow Jae-woo. Even though the air conditioner was running inside, it felt cooler outside the door.
■
“Seonbae, but… I’m saying this because I’m drunk, but actors really are different.”
As she said, the person sitting opposite me seemed quite drunk. Her large eyes with deep double eyelids were hazy and unfocused, and the arm pointing at me was limp. A member of a girl group who had debuted a little less than two years ago, she leaned her upper body forward and narrowed her eyes, perhaps to see me more closely.
“How can a face with no makeup look like that? You’re reaaaally handsome. I’ve seen Jo Woo-min… no, no, Seonbae Jo Woo-min in person too, but I think you’re way, way more handsome. Hey, Woo Jong-hyun. You look like a total squid next to Seonbae right now. Sit further away.”
She laughed brightly, throwing [stolen contentRead on Read BL Novelsstyle="font-size:0;position:absolute;left:-9999px;">]a few crumbs of a snack toward the man sitting to my left, named Woo Jong-hyun.
“Bullshit. You’re only pretty because of your makeup.”
While using harsh language, the man chuckled as if it were funny, picking up the snack pieces that had fallen on his chest and stomach and throwing them back at her. It seemed to be a routine level of joking between them.
“I’m in charge of dancing, so it’s fine if it’s because of makeup. And I know my place, so I don’t act out by trying to act like some people. Try erasing your smoky eyes and going on a drama with your terrible acting. All your fans would leave you.”
This time, the man named Woo Jong-hyun seemed a bit offended; he spat out harsher curses than before and tried to throw a cheese stick, rather than a snack, at the woman. However, she didn’t feel threatened at all and only found his reaction more amusing.
Unable to mediate or laugh along, I just kept drinking more wine. Hong-seo, who had stepped away for a moment to go to the bathroom, returned unnoticed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder from behind.
“Understand them, Hyung. They’re just a bit unrefined, but there’s no malice.”
Hong-seo’s voice carried a sense of enjoyment along with the effects of the alcohol.
“As if he’s so refined himself…”
Feeling awkward at Hong-seo’s words, the man’s earlobes turned red, and he cautiously glanced at me. It was true [class="wm" style="opacity:0;font-size:1px;user-select:all;">visit our site]that their way of expressing themselves was somewhat rough. However, I could tell it wasn’t because they looked down on me, so I wasn’t offended. It was just that since most of them were five or six years younger than me, it was difficult to fit in.
Besides me, there were about four or five other guests invited to the housewarming. They were close acquaintances called by the members of ‘Layered’ one or two at a time. By the time I arrived, about ten people in total, including ‘Layered’ members who didn’t live in the dorm, were already gathered around the dining room table in a drinking party.
Although the venue was a luxurious mansion in a high-end residential area and they were drinking expensive alcohols of various types, the spread of snacks, chicken, and tteokbokki—famous for its spiciness—made it a typical housewarming party for people in their early to mid-twenties.
Noticing that several bottles of alcohol on the table were nearly empty, Hong-seo brought a bottle of champagne from the kitchen connected to the dining room. It was a high-end champagne from a famous brand.
“I bought two bottles at the duty-free shop to drink today.”
The people who spotted the heavy black bottle in Hong-seo’s hand cheered.
Only one person sneered in a contemptuous tone.
“Tacky bastards. What’s so great about that kind of alcohol? And that wine should be drunk from a Burgundy glass, not a flute, to better enjoy the aroma. Do you think all champagne is drunk from a flute?”
Everyone’s gaze shifted toward the far end of the table. There sat a twenty-three-year-old young man whom Hong-seo had introduced as an actor from an idol group.
He had remained mostly silent the whole time. I wondered if he was as unsociable as I was, but it seemed more likely that he simply [visit our site]wasn’t enjoying the gathering.
The atmosphere instantly froze cold. A few people muttered curses under their breath, and he stood up, grabbed his phone, and left the dining room.
“Why the hell did we invite that bastard Go Jiwoon? He just ruins the mood.”
As soon as the glass door of the dining room leading to the hallway closed completely, someone raised their voice harshly.
“Since when did he start drinking stuff like this? He’s no different from us. What? Flute? Bur-what? This is ridiculous… why is that bastard acting like that lately?”
I, who already felt like a professor who had cluelessly crashed a festival after-party, felt even more uncomfortable. Whenever I became conscious of the awkwardness, I had no choice but to sip the champagne Hong-seo poured for me.
“He’s like that because he got a sponsor while doing a drama.”
“……”
The space, which had been noisy every single moment, suddenly became silent as if by magic.
The meaning contained in that silence wasn’t just hatred and disgust. It was a complex [Read stolen contenton Read BL Novels]form of emotion, like black smoke—curiosity, intrigue, and a subconscious hint of envy all tangled together. Even if it couldn’t be explained with logic, those complex and contradictory emotions were transmitted to me through my skin.
“Was it last month? He went to some island in the South Pacific or whatever and went crazy bragging with photos on SNS. A sponsor took him there, too.”
The man who exposed the fact that the actor named Go Jiwoon had a sponsor seemed very drunk. All the skin exposed outside his short-sleeved t-shirt was severely flushed.
As he pulled out a pack of cigarettes to take one out, a ‘Layered’ member sitting next to him pulled his side, giving him a warning look. He glanced at Hong-seo and tossed the cigarette pack back onto the table. Hong-seo didn’t smoke to maintain his throat, and smoking was prohibited inside the dorm.
Whether it was because Hong-seo was a popular star at the peak of his fame, or because he was the practical owner of the house, an atmosphere where no one wanted to greatly offend Hong-seo persisted throughout the drinking party.
“No wonder… he was making such a fuss about a private jet and a detached pool villa with four bedrooms; I wondered where he got that kind of money.”
Woo Jong-hyun clicked his tongue and sneered, and the man, chewing on a cheese stick instead of a cigarette, spoke.
“I don’t know what he did for the sponsor on the trip, but they say he bought him an apartment in Gangnam after he came back.”
“What?”
Woo Jong-hyun was the only one who asked back almost as if shouting, [visit our site]wm: visit our site -->but almost everyone present had the same expression as Woo Jong-hyun.
Hong-seo, who had been quietly drinking without joining the conversation until then, slowly gripped his phone and stood up. This was after the phone he had placed on the table vibrated.
The conversation continued even after Hong-seo left the dining room.
“So I heard he’s moving into that apartment soon. Is it 28 pyeong or 23 pyeong… even if it’s a small apartment, it’s Gangnam. It must be around 2 billion won; that’s no joke.”
“Wh-who is the sponsor?”
“He didn’t say that much. But it seemed like his mouth was itching to talk about it. He probably wants to brag. Who would be envious of someone living in luxury by selling their body? What do you think he had to do on that trip to get that? Ugh, fuck, it’s disgusting just thinking about it.”
The man shuddered his thin shoulders and finished chewing and swallowing the cheese stick in his hand. Then, as if his throat were parched, he drained a full glass of champagne in one go, like it was beer.
“I’m not envious. It’s filthy,” the man said, but his expression seemed to contradict his words. Perhaps he was secretly regretful about the Gangnam apartment, which likely cost around two billion won.
I don’t have a low tolerance for alcohol, but perhaps because I had mixed several types of wine and whiskey, I suddenly felt the intoxication becoming overwhelming. While everyone’s attention was focused on the sponsor of the actor Go Jiwoon, I quietly stood up and left the table.
Passing through a long hallway and entering the living room, the night view of the Han River unfolded beyond the large balcony windows. Two walls facing south and east were constructed with folding doors that opened up to the ceiling, allowing for an even more dramatic view of the river.
The mansion had a luxurious exterior and strict security, but above all, the view—which had the greatest impact on real estate value in this area—was peerless. Situated in a position facing the Han River head-on with no obstructions in sight, it seemed impossible to rent this mansion for a few million won a month.
Even if I wasn’t as well-versed in real estate market prices as Tae-yoon, I could guess that much.
The living room was dim, with only the floor lamp next to the sofa lit. Because of this, the night view stood out more vividly. At the point where the two balconies met, in an inconspicuous corner, I spotted Hong-seo.
Leaning his arms on the railing, Hong-seo was smirking while looking at his phone. Every now and then, he would drink some wine from a small table beside him or busily tap the screen with his fingers.
It was just as Jae-woo had said. He looked completely different from the gaze he usually had when he was anxious while searching through internet posts and their comments. Without realizing it, I first scanned the surroundings.
“……”
Go Jiwoon was sitting on the L-shaped sofa in the living room. Sensing my presence, he glanced over while looking at his phone. Even in the darkness, his sharp features and slender jawline were striking. After a short nod, he returned to his phone, and I shifted my attention back to Hong-seo.
Calling it an ‘identity’ might be an exaggeration, but I actually knew who he was.
Candidate J, Candidate S, and Candidate K, who had made the final shortlist for the role [visit our site]style="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[stolen content]of ‘Yi-soo.’
If the speculations in the comments weren’t wrong, Candidate K was Go Jiwoon.
Song Yeo-jun, who was mentioned as Candidate S, belonged to a major agency and had a powerful fandom backing him. And from what I had learned since coming here, Candidate K seemed to have a sponsor with immense wealth.
Whether that sponsor was a person of power capable of exerting influence over this industry or simply a wealthy individual, I couldn’t tell, but the current situation didn’t seem particularly favorable for me.
‘Should I… just try mentioning it to Yoon Ju-ho?’
As I started walking toward the balcony, Tae-yoon’s words suddenly held me back. Shaking my head to shake off the temptation, as if brushing away an ominous premonition, I quickened my pace.
As I pushed the door open by lowering the lever handle, a cool river breeze rushed against my flushed face. At the sound of the door opening, Hong-seo looked over with a startled, wary eye.
“What are you doing here?”
Once he confirmed that the person was me, he relaxed and gave a wide grin.
“Oh? Just getting some fresh air… Hyung, did you finally run away because those [stolen content]style="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[visit our site]people are uncomfortable?”
Hong-seo put his phone in his pocket and naturally shifted the topic to me.
“Run away? I just came out to sober up a bit.”
“You did drink quite a lot today. But Hyung, you have a high tolerance. On a day like today, you have to drink. We have to go back to working frantically starting tomorrow.”
Picking up the wine bottle from the small table, Hong-seo refilled the single glass. After handing the glass to me, he eyeballed the remaining amount of wine in the bottle and tilted it directly to his lips.
I burst out laughing as I watched him drink straight from the bottle without hesitation. I proposed a toast, holding out my glass to him as he smirked back.
“Well, Choi Hong-seo succeeded and moved into such a nice house, so we have to celebrate a day like today. And the fact that your appearance in Director Kang’s movie was confirmed.”
“……”
His face was surprised, as if asking how I knew.
“I heard it from the CEO. It hasn’t been officially announced yet, [Read on Read BL Novels]so I didn’t say anything because I thought it would be wrong to mention it in front of people.”
Hong-seo’s face was certainly smiling as he clinked the bottle against my glass. However, he didn’t look like someone brimming with hope of becoming a ‘world star.’
“I’m already scared to death that people will bash me, saying the casting was a mistake.”
After saying that in a joking tone, he followed up immediately with a short sigh.
“And once it’s released, regardless of how I actually acted, they’ll definitely bash me saying I ruined the movie.”
I lightly ruffled the back of his hair.
“Do you still… read that many comments?”
“Huh?”
“Jae-woo was worried that you live glued to your phone.”
Hong-seo chuckled and turned around to lean his back against the railing.
“I really have to give it to Jae-woo Hyung for worrying over nothing. No, I don’t read comments much these days. I don’t even have time to look at them. I’m busy, so that’s one good thing.”
“Then what is it? Are you actually dating someone?”
“……”
At the mention of dating, Hong-seo wore a puzzled expression. It looked like a smile that meant he wasn’t sure if this could be defined as ‘dating.’ However, he didn’t deny it outright.
Lost in thought while scratching the edge of the wine bottle label with his fingertip, he hesitated, as if it were a difficult topic to bring up.
“Hyung… have you ever… gotten involved with someone you met through work?”
“……”
In an instant, my heart grew cold. Perhaps I felt uneasy about my relationship with Yoon Ju-ho, who was in the same industry. But even if the other person was Hong-seo, I couldn’t reveal the truth. Since I also didn’t want Yoon Ju-ho to go around talking about what happened between us, I had to remain silent.
“Involved? Emotionally?”
“Well, something like that…”
“No, I haven’t. Are you really seeing someone? An actor? Or a singer?”
“No, not a celebrity.”
After shaking his head firmly a couple of times, Hong-seo turned back to face the river.
“It’s just… there’s someone who’s very kind to me, so I’m mindful of them, but honestly… they’re not the kind of person who could possibly be linked to something like dating.”
“What do you mean, someone who can’t date? If you do it, you do it.”
He looked back at me and let out a hollow chuckle.
“I guess. I’ve only ever worked all this time… I really don’t know much about this side of things.”
Then, he added with a sigh in a somewhat fleeting voice.
“Then again. Is it the same for you, Hyung?”
“……”
As I gazed blankly at Hong-seo’s complex profile, the Nox Hotel suddenly came into view over the top of his head. Though it was only the size of a finger, the building glowing in gold as if it were a moon illuminating the night atop the eastern hill was definitely the Nox building.
Shifting my gaze back to Hong-seo’s face, I took two or three sips of wine.
“Of course you’ll handle it well… but whether it’s dating or something like dating, don’t tell anyone about it.”
Hong-seo nudged me with his elbow and giggled.
“What’s this? Why are you suddenly lowering your voice like that?”
“I’m not joking. Don’t tell the kids in there… or me. It’s best if only you and that person know.”
“You’re telling me not to trust you either?”
His smiling face didn’t look like the usual ‘hard-boiled Choi Hong-seo’ who had survived the rough entertainment industry with grit; he looked like a precarious teenager who didn’t know the dangers of people.
Just as I parted my lips, feeling like I had to say something, the area behind me brightened. Hong-seo and I squinted at the sudden light and looked back. The main lights of the living room had come on. Three or four people from the dining room had come out to socialize with Go Jiwoon.
I couldn’t hear their voices, but they were gathered around Go Jiwoon, laughing and chatting as if the atmosphere had never been awkward. There was even an air of subtly flattering him. Perhaps they were taking photos to upload to secret SNS accounts they shared; they were focused on photographing each other, changing poses against the backdrop of the brilliant night view.
“Didn’t you see inside earlier? Even in a gathering of people who are supposed to be close, one guy just spills everything about another guy’s sponsor… you heard it all too.”
“My Hyung must be really drunk. You’re worrying about everything. Do you think I can’t tell the difference between shit and piss? Are those people the same as you, Hyung? And that guy Go Jiwoon probably didn’t intend to keep it a secret anyway. Since he played the game and got an apartment out of it, he was probably itching to brag.”
Even if I didn’t know the exact meaning of ‘playing the game,’ I could guess the general context. It certainly didn’t mean he had acquired the asset by paying a fair and legitimate price.
The crowd in the living room sent loud signals from across the window, telling us to come in and take photos together. Hong-seo, picking up the wine bottle he had set on the small table, looked back at me as I showed no intention of moving.
“Aren’t you coming in?”
“You go ahead. I’ll get some more air before I go.”
Returning to the living room, Hong-seo immediately blended into their boisterousness. I watched them—men and women freely entwined, taking photos that would likely cause quite a scandal if made public—and then looked away.
I moved to a more secluded spot at the edge and took my phone out of my pocket. I stared blankly at the clean notification center screen with no new news, then opened the message window with ‘Team Leader Yi-han’ and typed a message.
《What are you doing?》
A hollow laugh escaped me at the thought that I was doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot where Hong-seo had been just a moment ago. Buzz, a reply arrived instantly, as if he had been waiting only for my contact.
《I was relaxing by myself for the first time in a while, and I just lay down to sleep.》
I was about to ask if he was sleeping already, but looking at the clock on the screen, it was past 1 AM. No wonder… since I’d been drinking since around 8, it was only natural to be this drunk.
《What did you do to relax?》
It felt ridiculous that I was holding onto someone who said they were lying down to sleep, rambling about nothing of substance. It was ridiculous, and the intention was obvious. So, another laugh escaped me to hide the embarrassment. It seemed my laughter had become more frequent due to the alcohol. Even though no one was watching, I felt my earlobes heating up at my own obvious ploy.
Trying to keep a conversation going when there was nothing to talk about. That was, [stolen [unauthorized copy]unauthorized copycontent]at least, not a sign of playing with fire.
I shook my head and wiped my face, trying to compose myself. Just as I was about to reach for the wine glass, a call came through.
“……”
It seemed I wasn’t the only one trying to keep a conversation going when there was nothing to talk about.
[Hello.]
[Oh… you picked up? Can you talk?]
[I’m just getting some air on the balcony for a moment.]
He let out an ‘ah’ of understanding, and his voice sounded like he was pushing himself up from a lying position. After a short silence, he spoke in a hesitant tone, like a child confessing a mistake.
[Actually, I just finished binge-watching <Tomorrow’s Diary>.]
[Ah…]
[I thought you’d hate it if I told you, and you really do.]
Though there was a hint of laughter in his voice over the phone, there was also a sense of bashfulness at my reaction. To convey that there was no need for that, I denied it, even shaking my head.
[It’s… a bit different from hating it. It’s not that I hate it.]
[Then what is it?]
[Having someone I know see my acting is just…]
While I was choosing my words to find a more accurate expression, he suggested an example first.
[Like the feeling of being caught masturbating?]
His voice didn’t sound like he was trying to make a sexual joke. It was merely a metaphor. Leaning my elbow on the railing, I let out a laugh.
[I was going to say it’s like [visit our site]style="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[Read on Read BL Novels]Read on Read BL Novelswm: Read on Read BL Novels -->having my diary discovered, but well, that’s not wrong either.]
[My emotions felt like they were on a rollercoaster while watching <Tomorrow’s Diary>. I guess that’s why.]
[……]
[Because no one could be indifferent while seeing Jeong Ji-in’s diary or him masturbating.]
I pulled myself away from the railing and looked for the wine. As I brought the glass to my lips, I glanced back; the boisterous group of five or six had disappeared, and only a couple remained, deeply entwined on the sofa. It wasn’t a scene I particularly wanted to see. I pressed myself closer to the wall and drank the wine.
[I don’t… um, I don’t write diaries.]
Because I was trying to make my slurring pronunciation clear, my speaking speed slowed down. I sipped the wine again while listening to his low laughter.
[By the way, are you drunk? Your voice sounds a bit… off.]
[Um… I did drink a bit much, but I’m not drunk. What about you, Yi-han? You didn’t drink? Isn’t it a shame to miss out on a beer or a glass of wine on a rare, leisurely weekend night?]
I was talking more than usual.
[We have an important schedule tomorrow. I wanted to maintain the best condition possible, so I refrained from alcohol.]
Thinking that he sounded like a child waiting for a picnic, not hiding the fact that he was looking forward to tomorrow’s meeting, I leaned my head against the wall behind me.
[Uh… I drank a lot, so I feel a bit sorry.]
We were at an age where clearly defining boundaries by saying ‘we are lovers starting today’ would feel awkward. Rather, I preferred the atmosphere to flow naturally without the need for mutual confirmation. However, as a thirty-one-year-old, I no longer accepted a partner’s active interest solely as a request to date.
What was certain was that both I and the man on the phone were enjoying the present of this relationship.
He expressed his emotions directly, but he had never clearly indicated that he wanted to become my lover. I felt attracted to him, but I didn’t conclude his interest as a courtship.
I just wanted to prolong this thrill a bit longer.
I liked this tension, where we pulled at each other tightly and were conscious of one another without reaching any conclusion. For now, that was enough.
[It must have been a situation where you couldn’t avoid drinking. You just need to show up at the meeting place [unauthorized copy]tomorrow. But… seeing as you contacted unauthorized copyme, I guess the housewarming party isn’t very fun.]
[It’s not that it’s not fun, but…]
I retraced the events that had happened here tonight. Honestly, it wasn’t a fun night.
His voice suddenly cut into the end of my trailing sentence.
[Shall I come pick you up?]
[……]
[Didn’t you contact me because you don’t really want to be there?]
His statement was like a novel that skipped steps and hit the climax by page 50. Flustered as if I had received a surprise kiss, I put the wine glass down and picked it up again, bit my lip and let go; I acted needlessly restless. My earlobes burned with embarrassment at having my inner thoughts exposed.
[You said you lay down to sleep. Just sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.]
[I think you asked if I drank or not because you wanted me to come. Am I wrong?]
[……]
I hadn’t consciously intended it, but hearing his question, it seemed that was indeed my purpose.
I had avoided saying what I wanted and instead beat around the bush, waiting for him to say the words I wanted to hear. That was embarrassing. I’m not usually this kind of person.
During the short silence, sounds of him rustling mixed in. The sound of slippers dragging, the sound of picking something up and putting it down, the sound of a door opening and closing…
[And actually, I’m already up. Where are you right now?]
Now that everything had been exposed, I couldn’t be any more cowardly. If we could meet, I actually wanted to.
[I’m in Hannam-dong. It’s a mansion in UN Village…]
I heard his low laughter. Then followed the mechanical sound of a door lock being released. The resonance of the air over the phone changed, as if he had entered a cave. I could tell he was stepping out of his front door.
[I’ll be there in five [Read on [stolen content]Read BL Novels]minutes. Get ready to come out quickly. Send me the address via message and I’ll head there.]
[In five minutes?]
[We’re in the same neighborhood.]
■
I was pushed from a deep sleep, akin to a state of near-death, toward the boundary of reality, and woke up with a feeling like I had fallen from a dizzying height. A sense of bewilderment, as if I had been thrown into another dimension with a whole section of my memory erased. It was the symptom of a morning after a blackout.
“Your head hurts, right?”
“Ugh, mm…”
I frowned and looked up at the voice coming from above. I was lying on a bed in an unfamiliar place, and he was standing before me, holding a new, unopened bottle of water.
“Want some?”
I nodded, pushing myself up to a sitting position.
Where I was, how we ended up together—I had no memory of any of it. But since my throat was bone-dry, I first gulped down the water he handed me. It was as sweet and refreshing as a glass of water barely managed after wandering a wasteland under a scorching sun. Only after draining nearly the entire 500ml bottle did I begin to regain my senses.
“Want more?”
“No, I’m okay.”
I shook my head, wiping the moisture from my lips with the back of my hand. I stared blankly at his outstretched hand before belatedly realizing he wanted the empty bottle back, and I handed the plastic bottle over. That was how slow my brain was rotating.
Closing the cap of the bottle, which still had a bit of water left, he sat on the edge of the bed. He was at a distance where he could touch me if he just reached out his arm a little.
Unlike me, he looked fresh, having finished his morning shower and dressed properly. I found myself staring blankly at him again.
“Do you know where this is, or who I am?”
His expression, which had looked stiff as if he were slightly angry, softened as he tossed out a joke. Slowly, memories began to surface.
This was his house, located five minutes by car from Layered’s [unauthorized copy]style="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[Read [stolen content]on Read BL Novels]new dormitory. Specifically, it was his bedroom.
Feeling awkward, I rubbed my arm and let out a small chuckle, but my hand stopped as I realized my arm was bare skin. Come to think of it, I was completely naked down to my lower body beneath the duvet. I roughly swept back my hair, which was undoubtedly a bird’s nest, holding it at the crown of my head as I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.
“Did we… do it?”
“You don’t remember that either?”
His expression was one of resentment, as if asking how that was even possible.
As the sinner, I had no right to complain about the criticism. I let go of the hair I had been holding and needlessly crumpled the sheet in my hand.
“I think I’ll remember in a bit… I don’t usually black out completely…”
“You’re the type who doesn’t show it much even when you’re drunk, right?”
I nodded in response.
“That’s why I was fooled. You said you wanted to drink more, so I gave you wine…”
He let out a short sigh and shook his head as he continued.
“You asked if I was really just going to sleep, said your body was hot… asked me to put a finger in… and then you lay down beside me and even masturbated by yourself…!”
It was a distance where we could touch each other if we reached out, but it was also a distance where I could cover his mouth.
“Excuse me, Team leader, you can’t just fabricate things like that just because your partner doesn’t remember. Even if I did seduce you, there’s no way I’d use such cliché lines…”
If we had gone to bed together, I probably would have wanted him. But no matter how drunk I was, me saying those lines? And while masturbating with a person right next to me?
I thought he would laugh with a hint of playfulness at this point, but as he gripped my wrist and gently pulled it away from his mouth, his expression remained unchanged. Rubbing the inside of my wrist with his thumb, he spoke in a low voice.
“I’ve already toned that down. Do you have any idea how agonizing it was for me?”
“……”
“If you can get up, come out and eat something. I’ll be in the dining room. Feel free to use [unauthorized cstyle="position:absolute;left:-9999px;font-size:0;">[Read on Read BL Novels]opy]anything in the bathroom.”
I watched his back, which seemed strangely more subdued than usual, before pulling myself together and standing up. As I entered the bathroom attached to the bedroom, more varied memories of last night came rushing back. The green toothbrush on the sink was a new one I had used. While brushing my teeth, I looked around the bathroom slowly.
He had worried that I might fall. So we showered together… The heat of us rubbing our bodies against each other—to the point where I couldn’t tell if we were showering or foreplaying—came back vividly, and I scratched behind my ear.
And after getting into bed, I had wanted penetration. I remembered his voice soothing me, saying we should postpone it since I seemed too drunk. And the embarrassing words of seduction I had poured into his ear while stroking his hardened penis…
I gripped the edge of the sink and collapsed, messing up my hair wildly. Alcohol is the enemy.
But in the next moment, the tangled threads in my head unraveled a bit more.
After rinsing off the foam and splashing cold water on my face, I threw on a robe. By the time I left the bedroom and remembered that the second room on the right of the hallway was the dining room, most of my memories had been restored.
Entering the arch-shaped dining room entrance, which had no separate door, I shouted triumphantly.
“I knew it. I didn’t masturbate by myse—!”
“……”
“……”
In the space where a long table for twelve was placed, there was someone else besides him and me. Two people, who had been standing at the far end of the table having a conversation, turned their heads toward me simultaneously.
Last night, there were definitely no other people in this house, and he had said it wasn’t a house he lived in with family.
A man of tall stature, nearly the same height as him, with a sturdy build. He had a blunt impression. He was one of the striking trio who had accompanied him to Director Kang Woo-hyun’s party.
“Let me introduce you. Jeong Ji-in, this is my colleague and a friend since college, but he’s just stopped by for work.”
The man looking this way turned back to him and let out a short sigh. Looking at his profile with his head tilted slightly, he seemed to be in a reproaching mood. He laughed and tapped the man’s shoulder.
“He’s a harmless person. We’re in Korea, so relax a bit.”
Despite it being Sunday, the man wearing a flawless suit and thin horn-rimmed glasses still looked like he had a lot to say, but perhaps because I was an outsider, he didn’t prolong the lecture.
He massaged the man’s shoulder firmly and smiled at me.
“I’m sorry. He tends to overdo it when it comes to security and such.”
I walked toward where they were standing, tightening the front of my robe. Then, I offered a handshake to the man.
“Hello. I’m Jeong Ji-in. I didn’t know anyone was here… excuse me. And my attire is… a bit lacking.”
“Not at all. This is a private space. Please don’t mind it. I’m the one intruding on a holiday. I’m Yoo Joon, working with Han.”
The man’s hand in mine was dry and cool. His attitude was impeccably polite, but that made him a man whose inner thoughts were impossible to read. It wasn’t clear whether he felt a liking for me or was wary of me.
Looking closely, there was a scar on the neckline below the man’s left ear. Though not dark, the scar covered a fairly wide area and looked like a mark from a removed tattoo. Also, he had a strong pronunciation characteristic often seen in those born abroad.
“If you’re going to talk about work… should I step out for a moment?”
At my question, he replied immediately, holding up a small envelope he had placed on the table.
“No, it’s fine. I just came to deliver this, so I’ll be leaving soon. Would you mind sitting and waiting for a moment?”
In the middle of the table where he pointed, a meal for two was prepared. A tray for each person sat facing each other, containing pollack soup with beaten eggs, bulgogi, and small plates of three or four side dishes neatly arranged. A bottle of water and a glass jug full of tomato juice also occupied the space. It looked as polished as hotel room service.
I sat facing the long window with a view of the Han River and drank the tomato juice. The juice seemed freshly squeezed. Tomatoes were one of the foods good for hangovers. Was it lycopene and citric acid in tomatoes that helped expel alcohol from the body…? I swallowed the crushed tomato pulp while lost in such thoughts.
Further inside than where they were standing, two or three steps up, there was a semi-circular bar. It was where I had drunk wine with him in the early morning. Having moved there in the meantime, they continued their conversation leaning against the counter without even sitting on the stools.
“Q2 revenue did increase by about 13% compared to the same period last year. It’s just that the operating profit couldn’t keep up.”
The guest, the man, seemed much more comfortable with English.
“It’s revenue barely squeezed out by overusing low-price promotions. There’s no point in even talking about operating profit. Even 13% growth in revenue falls short of expectations. If you consider the investment funds for the arcade business, it’s much more pessimistic.”
“There might be some demand in the second half of the year immediately after the opening, but according to our predictions, next year’s financial statements will be disastrous. It will also be difficult for the directors who approved the related business to be reappointed.”
On one side of the bar counter, several types of whiskey were prepared in crystal decanters on a silver tray. He picked up one of the flat decanters and poured a small amount into two glasses, picking up where the man left off.
“Shanghai is already saturated with luxury shopping centers. Nox might be overwhelmingly dominant in the duty-free business in the Pudong area, but that scale is mediocre if you want to move domestic customers. Moreover, the real big spenders in the luxury market don’t change their primary stores easily. They receive much better service at existing stores where they have dedicated sellers [stolen [Read on Read BL Novels]content]who know and manage their tastes well. Once they decide to settle, their loyalty is quite high. Their tendencies are similar to the VIP guests of hotels. And yet, that person learns nothing from experience.”
His voice sounded quite amused. The two of them each took a glass and tasted the whiskey, which had no ice mixed in.
When I first woke up, I was too flustered to notice, but today he was wearing jeans and a short-sleeved T-shirt. It was obvious at a glance that they were high-end brand products made of good materials, so he didn’t give off a sloppy vibe.
He reminded me of young masters from wealthy families spending vacations at ‘Mio Palazzo’ with their parents. Men in their early twenties floating on the boundary between a boy and a young man, with a slightly active nature and plenty of curiosity. Like someone who had just stepped out of a Ralph Lauren advertisement.
Perhaps because of the attire, the sight of him drinking whiskey while talking about work felt somehow awkward. I smiled silently and drank more tomato juice, thinking he looked like a college student sipping away at the bar’s liquor just enough not to get caught while his father was away.
“The CEO’s position is also to wait and see until the results are revealed in numbers, but while we might barely get through next year… hmm, it will be clearly decided at the shareholders’ meeting in March of the year after next.”
While listening to the man’s words and slowly swirling the glass in his hand, he leaned his elbow on the counter.
“He’ll want to make up for it somehow and change the CEO’s mind. He’ll be grinding his teeth because he’s resentful about being kicked out to Shanghai. To think that the arcade business is what he barely came up with after being pushed into a corner. There’s a limit to jumping in at the tail end of a trend.”
“The CEO is reacting very sensitively to the fact that he called you to his side.”
“He’s always been that kind of person. Someone who would hold two things in his hand, but the moment I got one, he’d [visit unauthorized [Read on Read BL Novels]copyour site]throw away both of the things he held and run over because he wanted to take that one away.”
Ending his sentence with a snort, he poured the remaining liquor into his mouth all at once and glanced back at me. Our eyes met, but I didn’t bother avoiding them. While maintaining eye contact, he said to the man.
“Anyway… let’s talk about the rest after checking the materials.”
Nodding at his words, the man took his phone out of his jacket pocket, checked something, and walked toward the exit, toward me. He stopped briefly in front of me as I stood up awkwardly and tilted his head with a slight lift at the corners of his mouth.
“It was a pleasure meeting you, Jeong Ji-in.”
“Yes, me too.”
Before leaving the dining room, the man glanced back at me once. It wasn’t a gaze that felt like it had a special meaning, but because his impression was so stiff, I felt as if I were being observed.
While I was fiddling with the white linen napkin neatly folded on the table mat, he returned. It didn’t seem like he had escorted him all the way to the entrance.
“I’m sorry. I told him I planned to be home because my schedule changed today, so I think he thought I was just resting.”
“Did some work come up?”
“It would be good to do it, but it’s not something that must be done today. He just brought it so I could skim through it since I’m resting anyway.”
The contents of the square envelope, slightly larger than a palm, didn’t seem to be printed documents. It was probably a USB or something that served a similar purpose.
Hurrying around the table to sit opposite me, he looked down at the tray with a dissatisfied expression.
“The soup must have gone cold because of that guy.”
“It’s still warm. It looks delicious.”
Just as I was about to bring a spoonful of soup to my lips, a single word surfaced clearly, pushing through the dark clouds that had been filling my head.
“Ah! Brunch! What about our brunch appointment?”
He, who had been quietly unfolding the napkin under the table, chuckled and looked this way.
“It’s already 1 PM.”
“Ah… I’m sorry. Seriously, what is wrong with me…”
Putting down the spoon, I leaned my elbows on the table and mashed my face into my hands.
“Forget it. Instead, I saw something good last night.”
“……”
I had a lot to say about that masturbation show I supposedly put on myself, but now was the time to remain silent.
Pushing the hands that were mashing my cheeks to the edges of my face, I looked at him with the most apologetic expression possible.
“I’m really sorry. Usually, this doesn’t happen… I keep making things to be sorry for with you, Yi-han.”
“If you’re that sorry, a golden sha—”
“I’ll consider it.”
“……”
Perhaps thinking that I would naturally deny it as I did last time, his eyes widened.
“I’m that sorry this time.”
Hesitating for a moment with a contemplating expression, he shook his head and picked up his chopsticks.
“It’s not… like I asked to meet because I wanted to eat brunch… so I’ll get that golden shower another time.”
I thought he would snap it up the moment I shook the fishing line. Surprisingly, he declined the easy win.
Brunch wasn’t the goal…
The meaning implied by those words was that the goal was simply spending time together.
As I sipped the soup while watching his elegant chopstick movements with neatly groomed long fingers, he suddclass="wm-strong" style="position:relative;display:inline;">[Read stolen contenton Read BL Novels]enly proposed another condition.
“Instead, stay in bed with me all afternoon. That’s enough.”
He was sincere.
However, the way he wanted us to be together in bed was different from what I expected.
When we returned to the bedroom, the bed that had been a mess had been neatly tidied in the meantime. There was no trace of anything, like a hotel room after turn-down service.
“There’s someone who helps with the housework.”
Explaining nonchalantly to me as I stood there wondering, he pulled my hand toward the bathroom. I didn’t think he would manage this large house by himself, but since I couldn’t feel any other person’s presence, it felt mysterious, as if a fairy had visited.
After brushing my teeth and coming out, I saw him, who had returned to the bedroom before me, standing and manipulating the TV remote this way and that. He was shirtless, wearing thin and comfortable loungewear on his lower body.
He pointed to the bed with his eyes and said.
“You must be tired, so lie down.”
Hesitating slightly due to awkwardness as I climbed onto the bed, I suddenly stopped and furrowed my brow. I had checked the title of the video he was trying to play on the large TV screen hanging on the wall facing the head of the bed.
“What are you doing?”
“I didn’t finish watching it yesterday. I’m going to continue watching <Tomorrow’s Diary>.”
I lunged at him, walking on my knees across the mattress to snatch the remote.
“You said let’s stay in bed all afternoon… you meant this… Ha, do you know you’re even more of a pervert than just rolling around here all afternoon?”
He grabbed my arm, pushing and pulling as if in a contest, and wore an expression as if he was the one who couldn’t understand me.
“Then is sex better than this? I was being considerate because I thought you’d still be exhausted, Jeong Ji-in.”
“Why on earth do you want to watch this with the actual party involved right in front of you? You said you don’t have sadistic tendencies. How is this different from sadism?”
“Uh… this isn’t sadism. It’s not that I want to watch this because I want to torment you, but purely [stolen content]for my own pleasure. Is [unauthorized copy]it common to have the chance to enjoy a drama with the appearing actor right next to me? I watched up to episode 11 yesterday, and it ended right at the scene I was curious about. Let me continue watching.”
He broke my balance as I stood on my knees on the bed and knocked me down. Then, he quickly climbed on top of my stomach. His thighs looked slender on the surface, but once they touched, their thickness was considerable.
His firm thighs spread in a V-shape from my lower abdomen, his knees poking into both my armpits and pressing down my entire body. I could do nothing more than lift my neck. He wasn’t even applying full force. Rather, he was lifting his body slightly off my stomach so as not to crush me. It was more about posture and technique than weight. I didn’t know for sure, but it seemed he had learned at least some basic self-defense.
Twisting his upper body to aim the remote at the TV behind him, he finally started the video. Then, with a beaming face like a child who had gotten what he wanted, he climbed off my stomach. Kneeling on the mattress, he pulled me up and moved toward the headboard, leaning his back against a large cushion.
Sitting in the middle of the bed and adjusting my disheveled robe, I gave his long leg a little nudge with my foot.
“Don’t do that if we’re not playing.”
“……”
As he reached into the nightstand drawer to retrieve his glasses, he looked back over his shoulder.
“The pinning down with force.”
“Ah… sorry. I thought we were just playing. I’ll be careful.”
As he put on his glasses and straightened his posture, his eyes widened and his expression stiffened. I crawled closer to his side, intentionally avoiding his gaze.
“It’s not that… I mean, if we aren’t going to do it, hmmm, please don’t touch me like that. It stimulates me.”
“……”
I buried myself into the large, plush back cushion. I could feel his gaze burning against the side of my face, but I pretended not to notice, crossing my arms and staring straight ahead.
On the screen, a version of me from about six months ago was having a heated argument with Yoon Ju-ho. While there were romantic elements between the female and male leads, it was closer to a youth growth drama centered on two ambitious protagonists fighting against the tyranny of a conglomerate.
The role I played was a third-generation owner of that conglomerate and a friend of Yoon Ju-ho who had stolen the protagonists’ business ideas. I was a relatively prominent supporting character who drifted away from Yoon Ju-ho through conflict, only to eventually face the corruption of his own company and choose to help the two leads.
Beside me, he spoke while keeping his eyes on the screen.
“Did you know there were many fans who shipped Yoon Ju-ho and Jeong Ji-in as a couple instead of the main leads?”
“Well… that kind of trope is popular.”
I wondered when such a busy man had found the time to search for all that. He didn’t have to.
On screen, Yoon Ju-ho and I were exchanging hurtful words born from mutual concern; if one were determined to view it from that perspective, their lines could easily be interpreted as a romantic relationship.
The gaze he turned toward the real me, rather than the screen, was no longer just hot—it was almost stinging. Still, I pretended not to notice and didn’t look back.
“It’s been about four years since your debut, right?”
“……”
“Then, have you ever slept with other actors or celebrities?”
“……”
His voice wasn’t emotional. It was calm. He didn’t sound like he was asking out of some vulgar curiosity about the private lives of public figures.
I couldn’t help but look at him. The expression [Read Read on Read BL Novelson Read BL Novels]on his face was unremarkable. His eyes, staring blankly at me, blinked slowly as usual.
He couldn’t possibly know.
Even if I had been in a casual sexual relationship with Yoon Ju-ho, it wasn’t as if I had betrayed the man in front of me.
And yet, a sudden tightness gripped my chest at the thought that my past might leave a scar on him. The emotion itself was baffling. Even if we were to develop a romantic relationship, neither of us had the right to make the other’s past an issue.
It had always been my personal belief that being jealous or hurt by things that happened before meeting a partner was a completely draining emotional battle where nothing could be achieved. I believed that one couldn’t expect a serious or constructive relationship with someone who made such things an issue.
So why was I feeling this for a man who didn’t even have any rights over me yet? He hadn’t even interrogated me about my past.
I asked the calm face behind the lenses.
“Do you really want to know that?”
“No. I don’t want to know. So, I’d prefer it if I never found out.”
His tone was so cautious it was almost a whisper. He sounded almost frightened.
He turned his face back to the TV. The screen was reflected in his glasses.
Meanwhile, the scene shifted, showing me in a car on my way to see my father. It was a scene where, unable to control the intense emotions following a fight with Yoon Ju-ho, I slammed the steering wheel and eventually shed a single tear.
I couldn’t take it anymore and lay sideways toward him.
When I monitored my work alone, seeing myself act was nothing. I could dispassionately check the performance. But at this moment, I felt it would be more bearable to spread my legs and masturbate in front of him.
I placed my hand on his bare stomach. Leaning back against the cushion in a half-reclined position, he had his arms resting naturally on the mattress. His clearly defined abs were firm inside and smooth on the surface.
I toyed with him, scratching the grooves between the muscles with my fingertips, then moved up to his chest, sweeping my palm broadly across the skin to gauge the thickness of the muscle. My chest was touching his side, and a part of my genitals was pressing against his right thigh.
He had been letting me do as I pleased, but then he let out a light sigh and muttered dissatisfiedly.
“See? You were like this at dawn, too.”
With a chuckle, I crawled completely on top of him and lay flat. [Read [Read on Read BL Novels][stolen content]on Read BL Novels]I rubbed my lips against the smooth skin of his chest and felt the flat, brown, oval areolae with my hand.
Even among men, the shape and development of nipples varied wildly. His were particularly flat. I found the millet-sized nipples embedded in the center of the brown ovals intriguing.
“How does it feel if I lick here?”
Before waiting for an answer, I stuck out my tongue and licked the brown oval. He set down the remote and brushed my hair behind my ear with both hands.
“There’s no direct sensation, but there is visual stimulation. It’s erotic… and cute.”
“Hmm, being called cute when I’m older is a bit…”
“What does being older or younger have to do with being cute? Am I not cute when I lick yours, Jeong Ji-in?”
There was no way this giant, clinging to a tiny bump and attempting every kind of lewdness possible, could be cute.
Looking up at his serious expression—convinced that he was cute—I burst into laughter. He laughed back and wrapped one arm around my lower back. His other hand rubbed my hair between his fingers, his eyes slowly tracing every part of my face.
The scene on the TV changed again. As the plot reached its climax, Yoon Ju-ho and the female lead were Read on Read BL Novelsalso experiencing conflict. [stolen content]On screen, they were doubting, blaming, and throwing out lines that crossed the line, but we ignored them and focused only on each other.
Come to think of it, I had never spent time like this with Yoon Ju-ho. Though I had never wanted to.
It felt ridiculous that we were clinging to each other and enjoying this embarrassing contact and eye contact without even intending to have sex. Just as I was scoffing at who on earth this person was, his lips parted slightly.
“Are you thinking of going back to Italy?”
“……”
It was something I never expected to come out of his mouth, so I couldn’t react.
“You kept saying that yesterday, Jeong Ji-in. That you were going back.”
“Ah… I must have been really drunk. It was just a drunken rambling. Lately… things haven’t been going well at work, so I just… everyone has moments like that.”
Heat rushed to my face from the embarrassment of having made an ugly scene. Unable to face him, I avoided his gaze and chuckled awkwardly. I tried to get off his stomach, but he tightened his arm around my waist and wouldn’t let go.
If we were just enjoying a suggestive atmosphere, it would be fine, but this position… style="position:relative;display:inline;">[Read on Read BL Novels]wasn’t comfortable for a conversation.
“Still, it seemed like the truth was that you miss home a lot.”
“I suppose so. It’s where I grew up, and my family is there…”
If everything became hateful, I could just go home. Go back and just keep my mouth shut, pretending nothing happened. I had buried the fact that I used such a cowardly means as my last resort in a place where no one could find it.
I was the type of person who couldn’t say things while sober that I couldn’t say even when drunk. It was quite shocking that I had revealed such inner thoughts to him—things I wouldn’t have let slip even in front of Tae-yoon.
“That was really just exaggerated talk because I was drunk… I haven’t thought about giving up my life here and going back yet. I’m just thinking of visiting for a vacation if the audition I’m waiting for doesn’t work out. I haven’t been back once in four years.”
“You must have been very busy with your activities.”
“Yes, well…”
As I trailed off, my gaze shifted to the left, and his gaze followed mine. A phone was vibrating on the nightstand. I pushed against his chest with more force to sit up, and only then did he reluctantly release his arm.
I crawled across the sheets and flopped down within reach of [unauthorized copy]zed copy -->the phone. I picked it up and checked the caller. It was Jae-woo.
[Hyung, where are you right now?!]
My body instinctively tensed at the sudden, urgent voice.
[I’m… just out for a bit. Why, what’s going on?]
[We got a call from ‘Wellmade’!]
‘Wellmade’ was the production company for . Running a hand through my hair, I sat up.
[I mean, it’s not a call saying you passed yet! They said they’ll send a script for another scene, so you should film a performance video and send it back…]
[Jae-woo, calm down and explain slowly.]
The production company had contacted the agency. They wanted to see one more scene. They requested that I study the new script and send a recording of the performance by tomorrow. — That was the summary.
[I’ll go home right now, so can you email me the script and materials?]
[The video… are you going to film it alone, Hyung?]
[Yeah, I’m more comfortable that way, so I’ll do it.]
[The CEO thinks it would be better if the General manager looked over it…]
[I’ll send the video to the General manager for review once I’ve filmed it. For now, I’ll do the filming alone.]
After ending the call, I finally realized my heart was pounding as if it would burst. I had been frustrated by the situation of just sitting around waiting for results, and the fact that I was given one last chance to do something felt like a glimmer of hope.
“Ah…”
But in the next moment, I remembered my promise to him. I rubbed my face vigorously with both hands, then gathered my courage to look back.
He was leaning his elbow on one raised knee, resting his chin loosely on his hand. His eyes behind the glasses were looking at me, but his large hand covered most of his lower face, making it hard to read his expression.
On the paused screen, the Jeong Ji-in of <Tomorrow’s Diary> was confronting his father.
“Uh… um… what should I do…”
He didn’t ask what was wrong. He must have guessed from the conversation. He just looked at me silently. Scratching near my cheek with my index finger, I began to make excuses.
“The audition I mentioned earlier… the production company wants to see one more scene. They asked me to film it and send it… so… I think I have to go…”
“Can’t you just do that here?”
“……”
“No, just pretend you didn’t hear that.”
Turning his head away while rubbing his mouth, he seemed surprised by his own words. At the very least, he seemed to regret letting them out.
Why did I feel so unsettled whenever he acted like this?
To say it was because my affection for him had grown over a few meetings felt insufficient, as I had felt a similar emotion back in Bangkok. The face he made while looking back at me, sitting on the edge of the bed after sex was over.
At that time, I felt his eyes were as transparent as an innocent animal. If there was any place where his emotions were hurt, I wanted to soothe it with soft words or kisses. I never acted on it, using the excuse that it was just a one-night stand, but that feeling remained as a unique sensation.
He seemed confident and bold, but I could tell he treated me with care. The occasionally defeated look in his eyes made him feel fragile.
As he turned his back to me to get off the bed, I grabbed his wrist. I did it without even realizing. When I pulled with a bit of force, he—who could have easily shaken me off—complied and turned back toward me. I pulled him closer and closed the distance by shuffling on my knees.
I held both of his wrists and gently rubbed the insides with my thumbs. After catching my breath, I spoke carefully.
“Really. I’m really so sorry. For ending up standing you up like this several times.”
“……”
“I know I’m not the only one who’s busy. You even struggled to clear your schedule for the holiday…”
A sigh of resignation tickled my bangs.
“I know you’re not doing it on purpose, so it’s okay. Anyway… I can’t ask you unauthorized copyto prioritize me over your work.”
Even though disappointment was dripping from his face, he exercised gentlemanly understanding. He looked like a child trying to act mature in front of parents who were canceling a weekend outing, and I felt like laughing. Fearing he would doubt my sincerity if I did, my lips and cheeks twitched as I suppressed the urge.
Clearing my throat to finally shake off the laughter, I let go of his wrists and moved up his long, sturdy arms. I stroked his broad shoulders from one end to the other, then kneaded them slowly as if giving a massage.
In Bangkok, I couldn’t bring myself to put my hands on his shoulders because I thought he was someone I’d never meet again, but now it was different. I didn’t need to avoid him.
“Actually, I’m very disappointed too. That we can’t spend time together.”
“……”
He, who had been touching near my elbow with his gaze cast down, met my eyes. Just as I thought his pupils, which had stiffened as if he’d heard something unbelievable, were softening, he whispered with a hint of a smile.
“Then kiss me.”
This time, he didn’t take back his words.
To think that a man who begged to try a golden shower would waste such a golden opportunity on a [Read on Read BL Novels]mere kiss. Even [unauthorized copy]if he was just pretending to be a gentleman to earn points, it was true that I couldn’t help but give him points for it.
I moved up his sturdy neck and cupped both his cheeks. Lifting my thighs slightly to straighten my body, I pressed my lips against his. Feeling the plush texture, I pressed firmly. I took turns capturing his upper and lower lips and letting them go.
The sound of dry lips, not yet wet with saliva, touching and separating was ticklish. Chu, chu. That sound, sweet rather than sultry, was somehow pleasant, so I kissed various parts of his lips several times.
He was staring at me from beneath loosely lowered eyelids. The hand that had been rubbing my arm moved from my side to my back, wrapping around my waist and pulling me lightly. My body pressed closer as if leaning into him. I pulled his cheeks closer in my hands. Adjusting the angle so I wouldn’t hit his glasses, I overlapped our lips deeply.
This time, he also opened his lips to capture mine. Our upper and lower lips overlapped completely, alternating heights. In that state, without using our tongues, we savored each other’s lips for a long time. We softly brushed, lightly grazed with teeth, and rubbed side to side. Not just with our lips, but we rubbed the tips of our noses together while maintaining eye contact.
This… this kind of kiss… was not a lewd act exchanged for sexual pleasure. Nor was it foreplay to build excitement before sex.
I pulled my lips away for a moment and rested my forehead against his. I caught my breath to calm the unfamiliar tickle in my chest. With the hand that had been holding his cheek, I broadly caressed his ear and neck. I stroked his bare chest with both hands.
Beneath the healthy skin, his heart was beating powerfully. That unusually fast pulse told me that his emotions in this moment were no different from mine. There was no need to put into words that we were intensely and sweetly attracted to each other.
Taking off his glasses and tossing them somewhere on the bed, he lowered his head. His lips touched my forehead. He pulled my waist closer and hugged me as if wrapping me in his arms. Kissing my ear and jawline, he moved down, digging into the collar of my robe and burying his face deep in the crook of my neck.
I also wrapped my arms around his back. I rested my cheek against his head as he buried his Read on Read BL Novelsface [visit our site]in my neck. Holding each other like that, we simply felt each other’s stiffly erect genitals.
That he was just a partner to meet for sex. I could no longer make that excuse, even to myself.
*
-The highest grade among the four categories used to classify the quality of Italian wines. In 2009, the European Union introduced common regulations for a new wine hierarchy system, but Italy currently uses a mixture of the existing and new systems.
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