By Zephyria 
169
Ho-eun puffed out white breaths, staring at the luggage. Byeonguk approached and pointed to the luggage, right, left, up, down, and diagonally, explaining,
“Rice, meat and rice cakes, fruits, other side dishes and salted seafood, medicine here, clothes and so on over there.”
“……”
Ho-eun’s gaze failed to follow Byeonguk’s gestures, jumping around haphazardly. Byeonguk ordered the soldiers to unload the luggage. The soldiers carefully unloaded, gathered, and organized the luggage. Byeonguk pointed to a few of the bundles and said,
“They gave us all the rice and food from the storeroom. They packed plenty of pickled side dishes and sauces, and there’s a lot of fish. They say they slaughtered several cows and pigs.”
“……”
“Also, they bought all the rice cakes from every rice cake shop in Hanyang. They even made pancakes themselves, and they were very happy that the food wouldn’t spoil because it’s winter.”
Hearing that, Ho-eun inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly, saying,
“…My mother did.”
“Yes, madam did.”
Byeonguk nodded curtly. At his affirmation, Ho-eun’s eyelashes fluttered greatly. Byeonguk pointed to another bundle and continued,
“And they bought medicine from the herbal medicine shop, and they also packed some tonics. They gave us plenty to share with any soldiers who are sick.”
“……”
“They also bought precious fur socks and leather gloves. Enough for all the soldiers to have one each. I heard they had been buying them for a while.”
“…My father did.”
“Yes, the lord did.”
Byeonguk nodded again.
“……”
Ho-eun stood there blankly, mouth open. A faint breath escaped through his parted lips.
So, my parents sent all this. Seeing them buy, collect, and pack all this, can I rest assured that they’re doing well? Or should I be sad that they’re still only worrying about me?
As Ho-eun looked at the luggage with a vague expression, Byeonguk smiled and said,
“While I was in Hanyang, they kindly asked me to stay at your residence, so I was comfortable.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. They served me a twelve-course meal every time, so I almost burst. But I didn’t leave any of the food they gave me with such care.”
Ho-eun smiled faintly at Byeonguk’s uncharacteristic playfulness. He was grateful to Byeonguk for staying at his home in his place. His parents probably took care of him and the Crimson Rain Brigade soldiers while thinking of him.
“And this…”
Byeonguk stepped closer and took out a sealed letter wrapped in elegant silk from his chest. It was an envelope for letters. Ho-eun’s eyes widened.
“The lord gave it to me.”
Ho-eun reached out to take it, but his hand was trembling too much. Ho-eun clenched his fist in the air, then opened it, finally managing to receive it. He fiddled with the letter before greeting Byeonguk first.
“The luggage… hoo… it must have been hard with so much luggage, thank you for bringing it all.”
It wasn’t even a long sentence, but he was so overwhelmed that he had to pause to catch his breath in the middle. He hadn’t even opened the letter yet, but his nose was already tingling and his throat was tight.
Byeonguk shook his head curtly.
“It’s nothing. They packed it all for us to eat and use. We gratefully accepted it.”
Ho-eun gave Byeonguk a faint smile, then slowly scanned the luggage before turning to look at Tae-muk. He was waiting for his permission. Tae-muk ran his tongue over the inside of his cheek, then nodded casually.
“Go inside first.”
“Yes.”
Ho-eun replied briefly, clutching the letter to his chest as he ran to ‘home.’
“Hoo…”
Ho-eun sat upright on the floor, taking a deep breath. Then, with trembling hands, he opened the sealed letter and took out the letter. Ink had soaked into the pure white paper. Seeing it, Ho-eun took another deep breath and carefully unfolded the paper. The scent of ink wafted out, and neatly yet powerfully written letters appeared.
Ho-eun prepared himself until the moment he took the words into his eyes.
[Ho-eun.]
As soon as he read the first sentence, he couldn’t help but shed tears. He folded the letter for a moment, pressing his lips tightly together as he tried to suppress his tears. When he had calmed down a little, he followed the words again.
[It’s a winter as dazzlingly white as it is harsh. With you being especially prone to illness when the weather gets cold, my heart was heavy, but receiving news of you like this puts my mind at ease. I don’t know how many times your mother and I have read your letter. We read it sparingly, but the edges are already damp, which pains my heart.]
“Father…”
It was as if he could hear his father’s low, slightly rough but affectionate voice. Ho-eun didn’t blink, only letting tears fall steadily.
[I feel endless gratitude to General Lee for helping us exchange letters, and to the Crimson Rain Brigade soldiers for traveling the rough road. To be able to receive a letter from my son who has gone to the battlefield is truly a grateful and thankful thing.]
Ho-eun, having read that far, slightly raised the corners of his lips. He thought, so that’s why he was so grateful, that he gave Byeonguk and the Crimson Rain Brigade soldiers a twelve-course meal every time.
[News of the Crimson Rain Brigade often reaches Hanyang. Recently, there was a newspaper article about saving people from a town destroyed by a Devouring Ghoul invasion. Such news is simply great and makes us so proud. You’re such an amazing child, but I’m embarrassed that we only raised you in our arms.]
It seemed that news of Ramjae Town had only now reached Hanyang. He felt gloomy that Hanyang was so far away, but also relieved that it had finally arrived.
[Ho-eun. You weren’t such a talkative child, but your absence makes the house feel empty. The yard is too wide, and the house is too big, so your mother and I joke about whether we should move.]
Ho-eun smiled again. But the smile didn’t last long. He had not one, but four sons, one of whom had died, two of whom had built their own families, and one of whom had gone to the battlefield, so how great must their emptiness be? He couldn’t dare to guess how big a hole his absence had left in his parents’ hearts.
[Your mother sleeps in your room every few days. Deok-woo sits on the veranda where he used to bask in the sun with you from time to time, and Nurungi also circles near the stone steps where your shoes used to be. But everyone’s tears have lessened a lot, so it seems you don’t have to worry too much.]
“Ah…”
At that part, Ho-eun couldn’t bear to read any further and had to hunch over. His thin shoulders trembled. Tears poured down like a torrential rain, but he covered them with his hands, lest they get on the letter. A sound like a child groaning burst out from between his teeth.
He wanted to finish reading the letter, but he couldn’t see because of the tears, so he had to just cry for a long time. When his sleeves were soaked with tears, he barely managed to read the next paragraph. There wasn’t much left to read.
[Ho-eun. We are doing well. The Crimson Rain Brigade, General Lee, and you are protecting us, so there’s no way we wouldn’t be doing well. So please don’t worry about us, and only worry about yourself.]
“No, no…”
As the letter came to an end, Ho-eun tried to grab the letters as if they were about to fly away. But that didn’t make the letters grow longer. So he had no choice but to reach the very last sentence.
[In the future, I only hope that the heavens will look down and keep you safe, my son.]
“Ah…”
Ho-eun finally couldn’t bear it and fell forward. Then he just cried, wailing as if the world was ending. He missed his parents. He always missed them, but he had been enduring it somehow, but facing their traces like this was unbearable.
The smell that greeted him when he entered the gate, the unique coziness of his room, his mother’s scent, his father’s voice, Deok-woo smiling at him, Nurungi wagging his tail and following him, even the shadows of the bars cast into the house, he missed everything.
“Hic, hic, heuuu…, hic, heuuu…”
Ho-eun curled up and rubbed his forehead on the floor, crying incessantly. He was a bit of a crybaby for a man, but it was the first time he had cried like this since he was born.
He didn’t know why he was so sad. No one had died, and no one had been hurt. They should be happy that they knew each other’s safety. His heart ached. He felt suffocated and wanted to vomit, and at the same time, he felt empty and wanted to fill himself with something.
After crying non-stop for a long time, Ho-eun felt his body heat up. His temples were hot, and his eyeballs felt soft as if they were about to melt. His cheeks were throbbing as if they had become a second heart. His mouth was wet, but his throat was dry. He couldn’t tell if the blurry vision was because of the tears or the dizziness.
How much time had passed like that?
“Heuu…”
Ho-eun, who had been crying as if the world was ending, had used up all his strength to sob. He was lying haphazardly on the floor, pouring out something that was neither crying nor panting.
Thump!
The paper door was thrown open with a rough sound. A sharp chill stirred the room, which had been heated by Ho-eun’s crying. And a low voice fell.
“Stop crying.”
It was Tae-muk.