By Zephyria 
Gyu-oh, who had been shaking his leg while chewing on his lip, snapped his head up at the sound of the hospital room door opening. His eyes, which had been sparkling with anticipation, dimmed the moment he confirmed the silhouette entering.
“Ah, what. Hyung again? Why on earth are you so free?”
“Being welcomed like this makes it worth coming.”
Despite the obvious cold shoulder, Mu-gyeong curled the corners of his mouth upward. Perhaps because his legs were long, he seemed to reach the bed in just a few steps.
“I heard you were whining today that the food tasted bad.”
With a casual hand, he pulled the desk over and placed a pizza on it.
“…….”
Min-ho, who had vanished suddenly in the middle of the night, hadn’t shown his face for several days. Not only that, but he was unreachable. It was true that I worried he might have blocked me after saying he wouldn’t treat me like the other losers. So, I had sent hundreds of texts detailing my daily routine—things he hadn’t even asked about—to test his reaction.
Fortunately, he hadn’t blocked me, as he did react to my monologues. Of course, he never once replied.
This morning, I had written a series of monologues about how the hospital food didn’t suit me and how I missed home-cooked meals. Of course, I had cleared every single meal, but I wondered if I could evoke some sympathy that way.
“You don’t look like you’ve been starving, though.”
Anyway, it seemed the act of playing pitiful had succeeded, but the problem was that Mu-gyeong kept being sent instead. Mu-gyeong stood askew, scanning my face.
“Just leave the pizza and go……”
Gyu-oh weakly pushed back the blanket. Still, since Min-ho Hyung sent it thinking of me, I should eat it. With slow movements, I opened the pizza box. In the midst of this, it was my favorite brand of pizza, and it even had extra cheese. There was no way that indifferent man had paid attention to that, so this was definitely Min-ho’s taste.
“Look at this.”
He knows me this well. He knows I’m not joking, so why is he ignoring me? While lost in such thoughts, Mu-gyeong took a seat on one of the sofas. Yesterday, he had just left the coffee he bought from the first-floor company cafe and bolted, but today it seemed he planned to stay for a bit.
“Aren’t you eating, Hyung?”
“You just eat.”
He answered brusquely and began to observe me with his arms crossed. At first, I thought he was monitoring my eating, but his gaze was quite persistent. So this is what it feels like for one’s face to feel hot because of a gaze. Munching on the pizza, I scratched my stinging cheek.
“If you’re going to watch me like that, at least get me a cola while you stare. I’m going to get indigestion.”
“Eat comfortably. Why are you so conscious of me?”
How could I pretend not to notice when he’s staring at me like a debt collector? With one cheek bulging, I shot a glance at Mu-gyeong.
“I’m asking why you’re the one coming. What is Min-ho Hyung doing?”
“What else would a work-demon do all day but work?”
A natural question was followed by a natural answer. Of course he’d be working, but I still wished he’d made some time to come. An emotion, whether it was regret or disappointment, wavered. Lacking an appetite, I closed the pizza box after only two slices, unlike usual.
“I might just make a break for it.”
“Do whatever you feel like.”
Despite his words, he was the kind of person who would immediately report it to Min-ho if I escaped. In the first place, I had promised Min-ho Hyung that I’d stay in the hospital for three days, finish the final tests, and then be discharged, so let’s just endure one more day. With a deep sigh, Gyu-oh finished cleaning up and approached the window to ventilate the room. Mu-gyeong, who had been watching silently, suddenly spoke.
“What are you two up to lately?”
“Who is ‘you two’?”
I turned my head while awkwardly bending my waist. A cold wind rushed in through the gap of the open window. With his arms crossed, Mu-gyeong narrowed his eyes, tapping his toes up and down.
“Cha Min-ho and you.”
“Us? Why?”
As if reacting to Min-ho’s name, I straightened my upper body. My focus, which had been scattered and frantic all day, finally converged on one point. Mu-gyeong, who had been watching my very slight change, let out a small scoff.
“He’s thinking of just sending you on a vacation.”
“Vacation? Again?”
I felt like I’d heard that before. When Gyu-oh asked back with one eye squinted, Mu-gyeong gave a short nod.
“He says seeing you makes him unsettled. That’s why I told you not to act recklessly in front of him.”
Min-ho had once lost a colleague and close friend. Right before his eyes, no less. Having seen him barely endure that period, I felt like I understood what Mu-gyeong was talking about.
Gyu-oh fiddled with the gauze on his forehead.
“Unsettled……”
Was Hyung unsettled solely because of that day’s accident and this injury? Was there truly not a single shred of other emotion? I wondered if he had personal feelings mixed in, like the way I wanted to be embarrassingly close and special to him. I wanted to ask Min-ho, but since he wouldn’t even engage in conversation, I had no choice but to swallow it alone.
“I don’t care what you do, but don’t stress Min-ho out.”
“…….”
“He’s a guy who already lives a grueling life.”
I didn’t feel hurt even though Mu-gyeong took Min-ho’s side. Since the two had known each other much longer, it was certain they had a more special relationship and knew each other better. However, I often felt the greed to become such a presence to Min-ho. I had thought it was just jealousy stemming from friendship, but perhaps it was a deeper emotion than that.
“I’ll handle it well on my own, okay?”
“You’d better.”
Leaving only those words, he stood up abruptly. His coat fluttered as he stepped out of the hospital room. I wonder how Mu-gyeong would react if he knew the two of us had already crossed a river of no return.
“Anyway, that’s what he thinks.”
Chewing over it, it made sense for Hyung to be unsettled. A younger brother he treated like a sworn brother started hitting on him, and then suddenly claimed to be his partner. He probably wanted to dismiss it as nothing, just like usual, but since the other party showed no sign of doing so, it was enough to give him a headache.
“…….”
But wouldn’t the unsettled feeling disappear if we just clarified our direction? We could just become something more than partners. I probably acted too lukewarm, didn’t I? An ambiguous relationship like that would be poison to the already unstable Cha Min-ho.
“……Cha Min-ho, you’re dead.”
I felt like I had found a path.
After that, I completely cut off contact with Hyung. I needed to conserve energy since I planned to pour it all in as soon as I was discharged tomorrow, and I figured Min-ho needed one last rest.
The next day, as soon as it dawned, I went through the discharge process. Mu-gyeong was originally supposed to pick me up, but I firmly refused and took a taxi to the company. Although I had returned to the company after only a few days, perhaps because my mindset was different, it felt very new.
Before going up to the office, I stopped by the first-floor cafe to buy coffee. It was a pity that Mu-gyeong’s lover hadn’t come to work yet. Still, since stopping by had become a habit, I couldn’t help it.
“Hello. Oh, Team Leader, are you hurt?”
The secretary’s eyes widened as she pointed to my forehead. Gyu-oh fumbled with the area where the gauze was attached and blinked one eye.
“This is just for style. Is Hyung here?”
“The Director has gone into a meeting. He said it would be wrapped up before lunch, so I think it’ll be over soon.”
Gyu-oh also checked the watch on his wrist. There was an awkward gap of time until lunch. Should I wait here, or go find him? After contemplating for a moment, Gyu-oh pulled a cup of coffee from the carrier and handed the rest to the secretary.
“Thanks.”
Sipping the iced americano, I headed toward the emergency exit. After going up two floors and opening the heavy emergency exit door, I heard signs of people.
“Is it over?”
I half-hid myself in a corner, away from the direction of the meeting room. Since I was technically a Team Leader, it was quite embarrassing that I hadn’t shown my face once for the meeting.
Though I hid my body behind a shadow, I didn’t take my eyes off the procession moving toward the elevators. Perhaps because most were former gangsters, they were mostly fierce-looking and bulky guys. Among them, no one looked tired.
“What is this Hyung doing that he’s not coming out?”
I peeked my head out into the hallway that had become quiet after the crowd passed. Is he still in the meeting room? Sipping the half-finished coffee, I walked lightly. The meeting room door was wide open. The lights were still on inside, and it was very quiet.
Gyu-oh approached the open gap of the door, killing his presence. Min-ho, whom he had been searching for so anxiously, was sitting in the seat closest to the head of the table. He had his back to the door, but because his head was slightly bowed, his face was partially visible.
Technically, it had only been two days since I’d seen him, and we weren’t even making eye contact, but seeing Min-ho in his neat yet slightly disheveled attire made my heart flutter for no reason.
He was staring down at something with intense concentration. There was no movement in his lowered eyelashes, but because he was chewing his lower lip, it repeatedly turned white and then flushed red again.
“…….”
His expressionless gaze was fixed on the phone screen. What kind of contact is he waiting for like that? With that thought, I stepped into the meeting room. Simultaneously, the eyes that turned toward me trembled slightly.
“……What.”
Min-ho, looking flustered with wide eyes, quickly turned off the phone screen and flipped it over. As if he didn’t want to be caught looking at his phone.
“…….”
From that short action, Gyu-oh could be certain.
What Hyung was waiting for might have been his contact.