By Zephyria 
==
The grip of the father’s hand tightened around Eun-won’s. Eun-won looked into his father’s eyes, which were filled with desperation, before casting his gaze downward. His mother had said the same things, but his heart felt different now than it did when he had heard them from her.
Perhaps it was because, despite being a stranger and feeling awkward, this man was still his father. Eun-won thought of his mother, who had passed away without even being able to close her eyes properly, worrying about him until the very end. A mother who had never once voiced a single word of resentment, even though his father had coldly turned his back and left them.
His mother had always told Eun-won that his father was not a cold person. That he had only acted that way because of certain circumstances, and that he was the kind of man who would surely remember and return to be a dependable father. Therefore, she told him he must not hate his father. She reminded him constantly that once she was gone, his father would ultimately be the only family he had left.
“…….”
Eun-won knew those words were a shield his mother had created to protect her own aching heart. He knew his father had already abandoned him and his mother and would never return.
However, he didn’t hold a grudge. It was something he had never had in the first place. It wasn’t as if something had existed and then vanished, or as if hope had been given and then snatched away. He simply had no such presence in his life from the start.
But… now that his mother was gone and he had no one in this world to lean on or any place to rest comfortably, facing someone who told him he could rely on them made his heart waver. At the very least, the eyes looking at him and the desperation in the hand holding his did not seem like a lie.
Even though the man was speaking words that targeted Eun-won’s weakest point, the things he most wanted to hear, and the things he most desired to possess, Eun-won couldn’t even begin to think that the father before him was displaying this desperation for some ‘particular purpose.’ Eun-won was not the kind of person who could dig into someone’s weakness and act out sincerity for the sake of a goal.
“Come home.”
“…….”
“I don’t want you to live any longer doing hard work out here. Let’s go home now, Eun-won.”
While the tone carried desperation, the gaze resting on Eun-won’s hair was urging a response. Eyes that were acting out sincerity—in order to get the answer he wanted, and to get him into the house as quickly as possible—quickly scanned the expression of the bowed Eun-won.
“Eun-su would want that too. It’s something Eun-su asked for.”
“…Mom did?”
“Yes. She said that even if I didn’t know better, you, Eun-won, must live under your father’s shadow so you wouldn’t have to suffer. It… took too long, but from now on, I’ll do my best to be a good parent, making up for Eun-su’s share as well.”
At the mention of his mother, Eun-won’s heart wavered even more, unable to find its center. And Chairman Baum did not miss that moment of peak vulnerability.
“It really is too late… I realized it far too late after losing her, but please let me act as a family member for Eun-su as well. If you allow it, I will hold Eun-su’s memorial service at our house every year. My wife agreed to do so as well.”
“…Can you really do that for me?”
Seeing Eun-won’s reaction, the father’s eyes gleamed as if he had finally succeeded, and he nodded, layering on that desperate fatherly gaze once more.
“Of course, that’s how it should be. Don’t worry about anything anymore. You have a dependable family now.”
Family. A dependable family. Eun-won crumbled at the words that his mother would be remembered and cared for, and that he had a dependable family. It was the result of continuously poking at the weak spot of a boy who had stood stiffly and alone, trying not to fall because he had nowhere to lean.
“You’ll come home, right?”
At the final question that drove the point home, Eun-won took a deep breath and nodded. The small “Yes” that escaped his lips pulled the corners of his father’s mouth up in satisfaction.
“Good, thank you. Thank you so much, Eun-won. Thank you truly for letting us be a family.”
The large, warm, yet somewhat rough hand holding Eun-won’s tightened again. Eun-won gave a small smile as he looked at his father, who was repeatedly saying thank you, even shedding tears.
While stepping into a trap with the warm name of ‘family.’
* * *
Cha Se-jin, who had been swimming his fill in the pool in the basement of the main building, leisurely swam toward the edge as he saw Secretary Jeong enter the pool area wearing a suit. Instead of getting out, he rested his wet arms on the marble deck.
“You’re here?”
“Good morning, Executive Director.”
“Tell me more about what we were discussing yesterday.”
“As I mentioned, Seo Eun-won is Chairman Baum’s illegitimate son. However, when Chairman Seo Jun-hyeok found out, he ignored the fact and let him live with his mother. Then, three years ago, after Seo Eun-won lost his mother and was living alone, it appears the Baum side sought him out to use him for an arranged marriage.”
“If he’s still working at a convenience store, that means they haven’t even let him into the house yet. So, far from actually getting him into the house, let alone marrying him off, they brought up the marriage talk to us as if it were happening right now?”
Hearing Cha Se-jin organize the situation logically, Secretary Jeong nodded and gave a short sound of agreement.
“And since my mom and dad don’t know the inside story, they think the other side is hesitating because of me?”
“…Yes.”
“Ah, fuck. Because of those scammers, I’m the only one becoming more of a slut, and my mom and dad are the only ones worrying. I wouldn’t even take a bastard child if it were free, yet they’re trembling in fear that the marriage might break. Ah, but looking at his face, it would be a waste not to take him. Have you seen his face?”
“Ah, I’ve only seen it in photos. The Chairperson was very pleased. She said that with a face like that, the Executive Director likely wouldn’t express any dissatisfaction with his appearance.”
“As expected, my mom knows my taste too well.”
With a smirk, Cha Se-jin stepped out of the pool, took the towel Secretary Jeong offered, and paused in thought while drying himself.
“Hmm… well, it’s not like we have to get married this month, so let’s give them some time. It’s annoying that they’re acting out with lies, but it is pretty entertaining.”
“Yes. Then, how much should I tell the Chairperson? Should I tell her everything exactly as it is?”
“Just tell her that it looks a bit bad to marry a hidden illegitimate son and have marriage rumors circulating. Honestly, it is a bit like that. No matter how much of a slut I am, where in this market is there a more expensive slut than me? If they’re going to marry me, they should at least be as disgraced as I am.”
Having dried himself roughly, Cha Se-jin sat in a deck chair and gulped down coffee that still had ice in it. Knowing the conversation had ended, Secretary Jeong bowed politely and left the pool. Taking his eyes off the retreating figure, Cha Se-jin put a piece of ice in his mouth, crunched it, and leaned deep into the chair.
He thought of Eun-won’s face, the one who kept asking if he needed anything without even knowing who he was. What kind of face would he make if he visited the convenience store at this time today? And if they met as marriage partners, what kind of face would he look at him with then?
Perhaps because it was the first time he had seen a face so appetizing and admirable at first glance, his thoughts continued to trail off just by recalling that one face.
Taking another sip of coffee, Cha Se-jin picked up his phone to check the time. Perhaps because the dopamine was flowing, he had woken up early and even gone for an early morning swim for the first time in a while, yet it was only 8 AM.
I’m hungry, so I’ll eat breakfast, slowly go to work and slack off a bit… Ah, when does it become night? The sun has to set quickly so I can go tease him. Despairing at the fact that it was still morning, Cha Se-jin sprawled out on the deck chair.
It was the start of a day where time felt like it would pass exceptionally slowly.
* * *
After answering that he would move into his father’s house, a car arrived in front of his home the next morning. Since it was completely unexpected, he told the driver it was fine when offered a ride to school, but after receiving a call from his father, he had no choice but to get in the car.
‘You are my son. I want my son to receive treatment befitting his position. These are things you should have enjoyed long ago and things that should be natural from now on, so I hope you won’t refuse even if it feels awkward. Can you do that for me?’
It was a morning far more comfortable than the ones where he would stand for several stops on a crowded bus, or board a subway where there was no place to sit—and sometimes not even a place to stand—forcing him to let several trains pass by before heading to school.
However, for some reason, his heart was not at ease, and throughout the ride to school, Eun-won could not relax his body for a moment, repeatedly biting the inside of his lip.
Although he had decided that all of this had become natural the moment he made that choice, since the person he was yesterday and the person he was today were the same, the suddenly changed environment felt as if it didn’t belong to him.