By Zephyria 
===
“Suppressants don’t always work well for me, and if I handle it myself, it’s over in two or three days, but if I take the meds, it lasts for ten days. So I just did it myself.”
“Ah….”
Seeing Eun-won nod silently as if he understood made Cha Se-jin feel strangely more guilty. Cha Se-jin rubbed Eun-won’s soft cheek as he looked down. He wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination, but Eun-won’s lips seemed to pout slightly, as if he were disappointed or sulking.
“With the person you were dating?”
“Huh? Uh… no.”
“…I see….”
“I’ve never dated anyone. Did I not tell you before? To be honest, I want to have sex, but I don’t feel like dating. It’s a hassle. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never met someone I liked enough to endure that—or rather, someone who made me feel that way.”
Listening to Cha Se-jin’s words made Eun-won’s heart sting. Even though they were actually married, he felt that he, too, might not be able to become that kind of romantic partner for Cha Se-jin. Cha Se-jin was only interested because he liked his face. Knowing that any interest, curiosity, or kindness shown beyond that was ultimately because of the face he liked made Eun-won feel a bit hopeless.
“Anyway, that’s all in the past. I told you I hated handling it alone. So I decided not to do that anymore.”
“…….”
“During my Rut, you have to stay with me now, Darling.”
Cha Se-jin, who had been slowly rubbing the tips of Eun-won’s fingernails, tilted his head as he looked at Eun-won’s face, which seemed tinged with disappointment and melancholy. When he pressed his lips against the long eyelashes that cast a sorrowful shadow, Eun-won’s shoulders flinched. Liking that tremor, he kissed the corner of his eye once more, and Eun-won finally lifted his downward gaze.
“…….”
“…….”
The moment their eyes met, he felt his entire consciousness rush toward Eun-won. He was drawn in before he could even react. Perhaps having already learned from a few previous kisses, Cha Se-jin approached as he saw Eun-won’s eyelids slowly flutter shut, and he captured those soft, warm lips.
He truly couldn’t understand why he constantly wanted to kiss Eun-won whenever he looked at him. Not just kissing—whether it was his face or his hands, he just wanted to keep pressing his lips against him. He loved the feeling of touching the warm, soft skin, and he loved inhaling that sweet breath.
He loved the way a moan escaped Eun-won’s throat when he rubbed his tongue against him, and he loved how the strength left Eun-won’s body as pheromones flowed. Thinking that this was a side of him only he knew made his mind go haywire. It felt as if an unprecedented error had occurred, everything becoming tangled, with only the repeated message of wanting to touch him flashing in his head. And naturally, he had no idea how to fix it.
Perhaps because he had been drinking warm tea, a softer tongue met his. The tongue that had been still the whole time was now felt moving slightly first. The sensation of it rubbing against his as he moved sparked a surge of impulse.
There was no way such clumsy and fragile stimulation should be this interesting, yet he was focused to a degree that seemed unbelievable. He didn’t think he was like this even in his early teens when he first encountered stimulation, but now, just the small tongue clumsily touching his first made his breath grow short.
Could an act he had found completely uninteresting become this pleasant? It wasn’t just the kissing. Simply talking in the hotel, or watching him blow on his tea instead of seeing him panting beneath him, honestly wasn’t bad. It meant he wasn’t bored at all.
“…Nng….”
Since he had no intention of seeing people often, and no thought of seeing them again, there had been no reason to get to know his partners. He knew that getting to know them only made things tiring. But why was it different now? Why on earth? He continued to think and think as he explored the fragile, hot interior of Eun-won’s mouth. Why was Eun-won so different to him?
To dismiss it as simply because the face was exactly his type lacked some persuasiveness, and to say that something special had developed also lacked persuasiveness. If emotions were formed so easily, it would be impossible for him to have never experienced a proper, common love up until now.
“…Haa….”
Pulling his lips away, he gently bit the lower lip that seemed slightly swollen from being sucked so much, and the thin eyelids that had been closed the whole time flickered. Capturing that small tremor in his eyes, Cha Se-jin hugged Eun-won’s body—who was breathing heavily with his eyes closed—and stood up from the sofa.
“…Ah!”
Though he was shorter and smaller than him, he was still too light. He liked sweets and seemed to eat well without picking at his food, so he wondered where all those nutrients had gone. Maybe they didn’t go to his body, but all went to his face? After having such an absurd thought, Cha Se-jin readjusted his grip on Eun-won as he tried to slide down.
“P-please put me down.”
“Why?”
“…I feel like I’m going to fall….”
“You won’t fall.”
“…Still….”
“As long as you don’t fall, it’s fine. Why again?”
“……I can walk.”
“Is that so? You couldn’t even open your eyes or breathe, so I thought you couldn’t walk.”
Aside from being held by his mother when he was very young, he had no memory of being held like this by anyone. Being twenty years old and so easily scooped up in someone’s arms was incredibly embarrassing… and honestly, hard to believe. The fact that he was moving while his two feet floated in the air.
He asked to be put down once more, but Cha Se-jin seemed to have no intention of doing so. Unable to win by strength, Eun-won had no choice but to hug Cha Se-jin’s neck tighter and bury his face in his shoulder. Their bodies pressed together without a single gap, and Eun-won’s legs naturally wrapped around Cha Se-jin’s waist.
“And I heard this is how people go around after they get married. Didn’t you know?”
A playful, affectionate voice echoed. Eun-won shook his head. He felt a hand stroking his hair. The hand that quietly brushed down his hair then touched his nape and gripped it lightly.
“…P-please put me down now….”
“I don’t want to.”
When he spoke firmly, Eun-won felt the arms hugging his neck tighten further. Chuckling, Cha Se-jin stroked Eun-won’s back, circled the living room a few times, and then headed toward the bedroom.
Their touching bodies felt flushed. The warmth emanating from Eun-won, who filled his arms, kept raising his body temperature. Every time Eun-won, who had hidden himself by rubbing his face against his shoulder, breathed, that warm breath reached the inside of the thin robe.
Finally entering the bedroom, Cha Se-jin laid Eun-won down on the pristine bed.
Even though his feet, which had been floating in the air, touched the plush mattress, Eun-won continued to hug Cha Se-jin for a long while. He eventually realized the situation and hurriedly released his arms, but by then, Cha Se-jin had already covered Eun-won’s body with his own.
Lips devoid of a smile locked deeply again. A tongue entered the mouth, gently rubbing against Eun-won’s teeth, tongue, and the roof of his mouth before sucking on his tongue. Trapping the tongue between their lips and sucking, Cha Se-jin mixed their tongues deeply. He dug in as if he were about to swallow Eun-won whole, then finally released his tongue and lifted his head to look down at the weakly panting Eun-won.
“Do you really have to go to school on Monday?”
“…Haa…. It’s an exam….”
“Is it an important exam? Will something terrible happen if you don’t take it?”
“…Yes….”
“…Haa, I’m going crazy. Seriously.”
Looking up at Cha Se-jin’s face, which seemed both anxious and restless, Eun-won smiled. Even though he still knew nothing and didn’t know what to do, he felt that he wanted to do more things with Cha Se-jin.
It might be something as warm as when their bodies touch, or as pleasant as when they kiss; perhaps he had just been too scared for no reason. Eun-won raised his hand and slowly stroked the hair of Cha Se-jin, who had relaxed his body and buried his face on Eun-won’s shoulder, as if soothing him.
At that clumsy touch, Cha Se-jin lifted his head and let his gaze fall upon Eun-won’s face, which held a soft smile. Finally, he let out a laugh that sounded like a sigh and tilted his head down again. Within their locked lips, their first night together deepened.
* * *
When he opened his eyes on Sunday, it was nearly three in the afternoon. It seemed he had kissed Cha Se-jin a few more times in bed, talked a bit more about this and that, and then drifted off to sleep at some point. He couldn’t remember the moments just before falling asleep.
Considering that it was a sudden marriage and he had been busy preparing various things before the wedding, and that he had woken up at dawn on the wedding day and been exhausted, it was still unbelievable that he had slept for over twelve hours as if he had fainted.
Even after sleeping so much, he couldn’t shake the drowsiness, so he closed his heavy eyes and slept for another 30 minutes before finally lifting his heavy eyelids again.
Perhaps because not a single ray of light entered the room, he couldn’t tell the time unless he looked at the clock, and sleep just kept washing over him. Feeling that he shouldn’t sleep any longer, he tried to sit up, only then noticing something heavy crossing over his stomach.
“…….”
…What is this? He was momentarily flustered, but Eun-won soon remembered that he was married. Fumbling, he reached out and turned on the lamp next to the bed, and a dim orange light flickered, illuminating the surroundings.
Blinking because the light, which he hadn’t seen for a long time, was dazzling, Eun-won looked at Cha Se-jin’s arm crossing his body, then turned his head to take in the face sleeping toward him.
“…….”
…What do I do. We, we slept together….