By Zephyria 
===
“…Honestly… I’m worried about everything…. It’s not like I know you very well, Director… so I’m worried about how I should treat you while we live together…. And I’m worried about whether I’ll be able to do well after we marry…. Since it’s not a typical marriage… I don’t really know how we’re supposed to live together….”
“Hmm, tell me everything. I’ll let you know.”
“…Once we marry, we’ll be living in the same house… so how should I treat you? Uh… and I’m curious if there’s anything I must strictly follow while we live together, and, um…. Honestly, as the wedding gets closer, I just don’t know what the right way to live is….”
Watching Eun-won’s face, which was a mixture of worry, anxiety, and fear, Cha Se-jin felt a strange protective instinct. He liked how Eun-won leaned on him and asked all sorts of things because he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to hold him, and he felt like he had to protect him. He wanted to hold Eun-won firmly by his side so that he wouldn’t be afraid.
And… honestly, he was turned on.
He wished Eun-won would be even more anxious, and he found himself thinking it would be great if Eun-won became unable to do anything without him. He wanted him to rely on him more, for his gaze to never leave him, for him to cling only to him, seek only him, and want only him.
Binding Eun-won with eyes burning with passion, Cha Se-jin swallowed a mouthful of liquor like a ball of fire and answered Eun-won’s questions as calmly as possible, as if it were no big deal.
“I’ll be honest. I hate it when people tell me what to do. I hate it when anyone enters my room without permission, and since I’ve always slept alone for as long as I can remember, I hate the idea of sleeping with someone. In the first place, I’ve never shared a room with anyone to sleep.”
“…….”
“It’s the same for other things. If I want to do it, I do it; if I don’t, I don’t. Marriage is the same. I’m not doing this because my parents told me to; it’s my own will. Since I was born this way, I have to get married anyway, and since nothing interesting had been happening, I figured this worked out well. Then I saw you, and your face was exactly my type. There was no reason not to do it.”
His tone wasn’t heavy, but there wasn’t a trace of his usual playfulness in it. Because of that, the words felt incredibly heavy to Eun-won.
“Like you said, this isn’t a typical marriage, so I can’t say we’ll be like the normal married couples you know. I’ve never done it, and I don’t have the confidence to be like that.”
“…….”
“We aren’t in love, Darling.”
It wasn’t a lie. In fact, it was far too accurate. He had simply pointed out the facts exactly as they were. But… for a moment, Eun-won’s heart sank. It was the feeling of being hurt.
“Even so, I’m fine with you.”
“…….”
“I think I’d be okay sleeping with you, and I think it’d be okay for you to come into my room. I don’t know if I’d do it even if you asked, but I think it’d be cute even if you tried to tell me what to do. I find you cute quite often.”
“…….”
“Don’t think too seriously about it. The fact is, I like you right now, Darling, and you’re fine with me too. Enough to let me touch you like this.”
Cha Se-jin’s large, warm hand cupped one side of Eun-won’s face. As he rubbed the cheek that had turned slightly flushed—perhaps from the alcohol—he saw the closed lips part slightly.
“We can think about the rest later. Don’t you figure out how to live together by actually living together? If we grow to like each other while being together, that’s great, and if we find out it’s absolutely not working, we can just end it at an appropriate time. That’s the good thing about it being different from a typical marriage. The end isn’t difficult.”
With every word Cha Se-jin spoke, Eun-won’s heart plummeted, then throbbed, then dropped sharply again. Feeling strangely gloomy at the mention of the ‘end’ before they had even started, Eun-won lowered his gaze. He didn’t want to show it, but he couldn’t hide his feelings well.
“…….”
“Are you upset because I said it like this?”
Finding the sulking Eun-won cute, Cha Se-jin smiled and leaned in, lightly kissing the opposite cheek that wasn’t held in his hand. A soft chu sound echoed ticklishly, fitting for a peck.
Startled, Eun-won looked up, and Cha Se-jin, meeting his eyes with a grin, gave another chu kiss to Eun-won’s bright red ear.
“Hmm? Are you upset?”
“…A little….”
Instead of saying No, I’m fine, Eun-won admitted he was upset, which made Cha Se-jin feel even better as he stroked the clear cheek. Being upset wasn’t necessarily a good thing, but knowing that one can’t be upset without having feelings in the first place, he loved seeing Eun-won, whose emotions were laid bare on his face.
“I’m telling you not to think about it too hard or too heavily. What you see right in front of you is the reality, and worries or anxieties about the future are ultimately just illusions. That’s how I think. Things usually end up exactly as you worry they will. So just live with me. You’ll get to know me by living together. And I’ll get to know you.”
“…Yes….”
“But why aren’t you telling me to stop?”
“What?”
“Is this much okay?”
Cha Se-jin smiled mischievously after kissing Eun-won’s cheek with an intentional, loud chu sound. Only then did Eun-won realize he hadn’t made any move to stop him, and he averted his gaze in a rush of embarrassment. He was deeply ashamed that he had simply accepted it because he didn’t dislike Cha Se-jin’s touch—not even the lips touching his cheek and ear.
“Nothing to be embarrassed about. We have to practice kissing anyway.”
Bewildered by words he had never heard in his life, Eun-won stared at Cha Se-jin, momentarily forgetting his shyness. He couldn’t immediately understand what he meant by having to… practice kissing.
“Have you ever been to a wedding?”
“…No.”
“Ah, that’s why you don’t know. You’ve seen it in dramas, right? At the end, they tell the two of them to kiss. Even if not then, they make them do it when taking photos.”
“Ah….”
“And since we didn’t have time to take wedding photos this time, we’ll have to practice all that when we eventually do. It’d be lame to stumble and be awkward. It’s not like we want to make it obvious it’s an arranged marriage.”
Hearing Cha Se-jin’s words, wedding scenes from dramas and movies came to mind. He couldn’t remember the details, but he recalled that there was always a scene where they kissed happily.
“…Isn’t it just pretending?”
At Eun-won’s question, Cha Se-jin took out his phone, searched for something, and held it out to him. Eun-won looked at the screen instinctively.
“…….”
The screen was full of photos of brides and grooms kissing at weddings. They weren’t just pretending; lips curved into smiles were pressed firmly together. Thanks to Cha Se-jin kindly scrolling down, Eun-won saw countless photos of couples kissing before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen. Only then was the phone placed back on the table.
“Shall we try?”
Before he could answer, Cha Se-jin’s face drew close. It was different from when he touched his cheek. He had moved so close that their lips would touch with the slightest movement… yet their eyes met.
The distance of their entwined gazes was so close it made him dizzy. Strangely, he couldn’t breathe properly, and his stomach fluttered. Even while not knowing what to do, one thing was clear.
He didn’t dislike touching Cha Se-jin. He didn’t want to avoid it, nor did he want to stop it. As his focus blurred from the proximity, his eyes closed naturally. At the same time, something warm lightly locked onto his lips.
It was different from simply touching lips. It felt light, but his lips were clearly locked and sucked. It was ticklish… and somehow agonizing. Just as Eun-won’s toes curled and his two hands gripped the cushion tightly, the locked lips parted.
It hadn’t been long enough to leave him breathless, yet strangely, it was hard to breathe. He was too embarrassed to look at Cha Se-jin, and he couldn’t make a sound, as if he were someone who had never spoken before. He was simply facing a heart that was racing wildly, beyond his control.
“You need to breathe.”
As if Cha Se-jin’s words were a signal, the breath held in his mouth flowed out. He could feel the gaze fixed on his face the whole time. Knowing that their eyes would meet if he lifted his gaze even slightly, he couldn’t move at all. For some reason, he felt like… he shouldn’t meet his eyes.
“If you’re this nervous during practice, what are you going to do at the wedding? You have to do it in front of everyone then.”
“…….”
“Don’t close your eyes this time.”
The distance closed again. As his eyes shut tight reflexively, a low voice resonated from the lips touching his own.
“Open your eyes.”
Speaking while their lips were pressed together caused them to rub, and even his breath reached him. At that, Eun-won’s slender eyelids trembled. The moment his downward-cast eyes wavered, following that tremble, Cha Se-jin tilted his head further and their lips locked together.