By Zephyria 
===
Aside from the few months immediately after manifesting as an omega, when his pheromones were unstable and difficult to control, he had never been troubled by them. However, that changed whenever he was with Cha Se-jin. Whenever Cha Se-jin’s hand touched him or he encountered his pheromones, heat would rise within him and his own pheromones would leak out unconsciously. Even when he tried to suppress them, it wasn’t easy.
“I…! I mean….”
Barely shaking off the thought that he wished the other man would stroke him more warmly instead of just touching that tiny spot with his fingertips, Eun-won hurriedly turned away and retreated toward the end of the long sofa as if escaping. As Cha Se-jin’s hand left his body, the focus returned to his tingling mind.
“…It’s not like… I just leak them everywhere. I’m not like this at other times….”
“Ah, so you only do this with me?”
“…I don’t know why I keep doing this either. I’m not doing it on purpose….”
“I know. If you were doing it on purpose, you wouldn’t have thought about going on a staycation with Ji-woon.”
“…What?”
Cha Se-jin let out a chuckle as he looked at Eun-won, whose face showed total confusion as to why his friend was suddenly being mentioned. The more he looked at him, the more it was clear that Eun-won was different from the countless people who had pretended to lose control of their pheromones and leaned into him in an effort to sleep with him once.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say he was the cleanest person Cha Se-jin had ever encountered. He occupied the very top of the category that Cha Se-jin usually found the most boring and devoid of interest.
And yet, whenever he looked at his face, he tended to forget that. Feeding him, watching him eat sweet desserts, and spending time like this—it wasn’t bad. Teasing him until he was flustered was actually quite fun.
Why do I find him so amusing?
The real question was how long this interest would last, but he didn’t want to worry unnecessarily. If his interest suddenly vanished, he could just get a divorce. There was a great advantage to marrying without being passionately in love; there was no need to waste energy on something that yielded no profit.
“If I do this.”
Raising his hand again, Cha Se-jin grabbed the hand of Eun-won, who had fled to the end of the sofa. Even the “end” was still within arm’s reach. It wasn’t even enough to secure a minimum safety distance.
“Do you hate it?”
Eun-won’s gaze dropped to the fingers fiddling with his own. It was just a look, but it felt as if syrup were dripping from it. If he could, he wanted to taste that gaze. No matter how sweet it was, he felt he could roll it around the tip of his tongue for a long time.
“…….”
“It’s okay. Be honest. If you hate it, I won’t touch you.”
It was true that there were few people as beautiful as Eun-won, so it would be a shame if he couldn’t touch him, but he felt no need to force anything.
Having lived a life where he naturally obtained whatever he wanted simply by wanting it, and possessing an appearance that “exceptional” failed to describe—meaning he had always seen everyone wanting him—Cha Se-jin had never been coercive about anything. There was simply no reason to be.
Why bother when you can have and achieve everything even while staying still? It was something Cha Se-jin would never understand in his life.
“…….”
“…….”
Looking down at Cha Se-jin’s fingers massaging him with slight movements, Eun-won bit his lip firmly before letting go. He was a bit embarrassed to be honest. However, since he didn’t know how a single lie or evasion might snowball into whatever came next, he didn’t want to just gloss over this situation.
“…It’s not that I hate it…. If I hated it, touching me should feel unpleasant….”
“Right.”
“…It doesn’t feel unpleasant. But I’ve never… done this with anyone other than my mother…. So it’s… a bit strange….”
“So since you don’t hate it, it’s strange in a good way?”
Eun-won gave a quiet nod. Cha Se-jin smiled at that nod. It was quite amusing that he gave the less embarrassing answers verbally and the more embarrassing ones only through actions.
“Then should I ask for permission from now on?”
“Permission?”
“Yeah, permission. Can I touch your body? I’m going to touch your ear. Can I suck your neck?”
At Cha Se-jin’s words, Eun-won breathed silently in thought before shaking his head. He didn’t think that was the right way. Asking for permission every single time before touching… Asking if he could touch meant that he would have to answer that it was okay to be touched.
“I don’t think… that’s right….”
“Then can I just touch you? Ah, except for the parts that get hard when touched.”
What does that mean…? As soon as he understood the meaning, Eun-won bit his lip at the sudden surge of embarrassment. He had only heard the words, but it felt as if Cha Se-jin’s hand had actually entered his clothes.
The fact that he didn’t say “stroke” or “skinship,” but explicitly kept saying “touch,” contributed to the strange feeling.
Still, he thought things like stroking his hair, touching his cheek, or holding his hand, as before, would be okay. Although he wasn’t yet used to the touch of others, Cha Se-jin was someone who would soon move past being a stranger to become his family, so he figured that much would be fine.
When he nodded instead of answering this time as well, Cha Se-jin burst into laughter again. The laughter that broke from his wide, curving lips was so beautiful that Eun-won’s mind went blank for a moment. Whenever he looked at Cha Se-jin’s face, he found his gaze stolen and his thoughts melting away, even when the situation didn’t call for it. Breaking his fixed gaze, Eun-won looked at Cha Se-jin gesturing for him to come closer and slowly slid from the end of the sofa toward the center.
“I’m going to touch your hair.”
“…You don’t have to ask for permission….”
“I know, I’m just doing it to make you embarrassed, Darling.”
Speaking playfully with a smirk, Cha Se-jin brushed against his hair with his fingertips. Then, he covered Eun-won’s head with his large hand and stroked it down. The hand continued downward, gently massaging the nape of his neck. Feeling a heat rise for some reason, Eun-won quickly scooped up some melted milk ice and put it in his mouth to cool down.
But the heat that had once spread did not cool, even when his mouth was entirely cold and he could no longer taste the sweet mango. Not even a little.
* * *
After returning home, Eun-won told his father, who had come home early for the first time in a while, that he had decided to go visit Cha Se-jin’s house to pay his respects. His father and his stepmother were delighted and praised Eun-won. Despite the words being warm, his heart didn’t warm up; instead, it felt a sharp ache.
After talking a bit more, Eun-won went up to his room, washed up, put on his pajamas, and climbed under the covers of his bed. Now that he was ready for sleep, he could read a book or think about a few things before drifting off, but… it felt like a waste to just fall asleep like that.
The reason was clear. It was because of the person who had kept his neck, cheeks, and hands burning until now. His mind was filled entirely with Cha Se-jin. When he entered the house, when he climbed the stairs, when he washed, and when he dried his body and hair—continuously, truly continuously, he thought of Cha Se-jin.
Since thoughts have no form and are a private monopoly that no one knows unless one speaks them aloud, there was no reason to stop, but the problem was that he wanted to turn the thoughts filling his head into… something tangible.
Picking up the phone he had left on the bedside table, Eun-won hesitated before tapping the messenger app. Then, he tapped the tab labeled “Husband” and opened the message window. Since they had never exchanged messages before, the window was empty.
“…….”
What am I doing…? Am I going to send a message?
Biting the inside of his lip, Eun-won let out a shallow sigh. Honestly, truly honestly, he wanted to leave a message. He was grateful that the man had picked him up from school, bought him a delicious dinner, and even drove him home… and he also felt sorry that the man had waited for him for several hours today, so he wanted to express that once more, but he found it too difficult to know what to write.
“…….”
Staring at the empty message window, Eun-won steeled his resolve and wrote a message.
Hello, Executive Director. This is Seo Eun-won…….
That sounds too much like an introduction…. If my number is saved, he’ll know exactly who I am, so there’s no need to say my name….
Quickly erasing what he had written, Eun-won typed the words he wanted to convey from the beginning.
Thank you so much for today, Executive Director. I had many worries and things to think about, but thanks to you, my mind has become much more at ease.
After typing that and reading it over several times, Eun-won thought carefully and added a nighttime greeting at the end.
Have a good night.
After reading it meticulously three more times, Eun-won moved his hand toward the send button. Just a touch… a very simple task of just lightly touching the screen and lifting his finger, but moving his thumb just a little bit felt incredibly difficult.