#43

“Are you sleepy?”

Tennessee slept a lot. He spent most of the day asleep.

Amber sat quietly by Tennessee’s side, thinking that it might be due to the painkillers or perhaps because he had been exhausted until now.

“I want you to tell me how you’ve been.”

Tennessee’s eyelids fluttered languidly, and focus returned to his eyes.

“It wasn’t much different from America.”

Tennessee’s voice was very low, heavy with sleep. Resting his chin on his hand, Amber nodded.

“Tennessee.”

“Yeah.”

“When you’re all better, are you planning to leave me again?”

Their blue eyes met. Tennessee couldn’t answer easily. He hadn’t told Amber, but Amber was Tennessee’s legal heir. The company held the notarized will. That was why, following procedure, Amber had been contacted when Tennessee was seriously injured.

Tennessee had not expected this reunion. It was a comfortable and natural meeting, yet one he hadn’t been prepared for.

“You don’t have to.”

Tennessee thought that the old Amber would have begged him not to. Amber had been eleven when Tennessee first met him. Much time had passed since then, but he had never felt this unfamiliar. Tennessee was confused and, at the same time, unable to adapt. He felt the change in every single moment they spent together.

Amber no longer pleaded with him. Even if the tone sounded like a plea, the message within the persuasive words was different.

“Was it comfortable during the two years I was gone?”

Just as Amber had undergone many changes over those two years, much had happened to Tennessee as well. In those two years, the number of days Tennessee had slept soundly could be counted on one hand. He was used to it since it was chronic insomnia, but there were moments that suddenly came to mind. And there was Amber, who had desperately interlaced their fingers upon waking.

It was impossible to love a young Amber, and Tennessee’s feelings on that remained firm. But now, the adult Amber was smiling at him, asking how his time had been while he was gone. The cynical, blunt way of speaking was the same, but this was an Amber who had molted—one whose heart never wavered.

“Sleep, Tennessee.”

At those words, as if by magic, Tennessee fell into a deep sleep.

As if the two years of time had meant nothing.

* * *

Tennessee’s first surgery ended successfully. Normally, he would have had to stay in the ICU for 24 hours, but because his progress was good, he was moved to a general ward after 12 hours.

Tennessee was asleep when he was moved back to his room. Amber held his cold, pale hand by his side. Tennessee opened his eyes several hours later.

Rather than being fully conscious, it was more of a brief awakening. Tennessee stared at Amber by his side for a long time, blinking several times. It took some time for him to recognize that it was Amber.

“If you’re sleepy, sleep more.”

Tennessee shook his head.

“I’m sleepy, but it feels strange.”

“It’s the painkillers.”

Amber had said it to tell him not to worry, but Tennessee lifted his head.

“…Is it morphine?”

Tennessee looked at his IV needle and pressed a hand to his forehead. This was the first time Tennessee had been this dizzy.

“Yes, it’s a morphine drip.”

“…Take it out.”

Since it hadn’t been long since he left the operating room, it would certainly be painful without painkillers. Amber shook his head, but Tennessee was adamant.

“Take it out. I hate it.”

However, he couldn’t just pull out the needle on his own. Amber looked at the IV fluid and first adjusted the roller clamp.

“Tell them to give me a different painkiller instead of morphine.”

“…Is it because it’s an opiate?”

Although extracted from opium, morphine was a painkiller. It wasn’t a developed organic compound like ecstasy.

“No, because my head hurts.”

But Amber sensed the deep hatred and aversion Tennessee harbored toward drugs. Tennessee sighed.

It wasn’t that Tennessee was that rigid. He knew very well that this was morphine administered according to a doctor’s prescription in a hospital. However, things invented for convenience were constantly misused. Xanax, Diazepam, Zolpidem… the list was endless.

His mother had used drugs in that way too. From cannabis to cocaine, heroin, and long Xanax bars. He wasn’t just scared for no reason. Tennessee often wondered if he himself was congenitally vulnerable to addiction.

“But it will hurt.”

Pain was preferable.

Tennessee was afraid. As far as he knew, bad things were hereditary. Disease, poverty, and addiction. When he looked into her eyes, blurred by drugs, he would fall into a hallucination that he was standing in her place, looking into a mirror.

“I’ll go call the doctor.”

After confirming that the morphine was no longer dripping, Amber stood up.

“Stay by my side, Amber.”

Tied down by those few small words, Amber could not move. Despite it being an unremarkable call, it had a resonance. A small voice escaped Tennessee’s lips as he covered his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Then I’ll be able to sleep even if it hurts.”

Amber sometimes saw hallucinations of being tormented by a storm. It was especially true when he was by Tennessee’s side. At a single word from Tennessee, he would sweat with a face reddened by the scorching sun, or shrink his body from a sudden gust of wind.

19 – Chapter

If Tennessee found out about this heart-wrenching feeling, would he run away again?

Amber closed his eyes and thought.

After hearing the doctor’s warnings, Tennessee’s “I’ll do it” had vanished. For better or worse, Tennessee tended to follow a doctor’s advice. The fact that both Tennessee and Amber recognized the gravity of the situation—that he needed absolute stability since the surgery was recent—played a part in this.

However, Tennessee felt stifled, and though he didn’t show it, Amber noticed. It was only natural. Tennessee’s entire daily routine consisted of nothing but sleeping, eating, and washing. This became even more apparent as the time Tennessee spent awake gradually increased.

Since he had been told that a short walk was fine, Amber had brought a wheelchair. Despite the difficulty caused by his broken limbs, Tennessee managed to get into the chair.

Amber was in the middle of tidying up the wheelchair after they had made one lap around the ward.

Someone knocked on the hospital room door.

Men stood there; they were similar in build to Amber, but their aura was far more similar to Tennessee’s. They were all wearing suits. A nervous Amber tried to press the call bell, but Tennessee shook his head.

“Are you feeling alright?”

It was a posh accent. Noticing Amber’s slight frown, the man spoke in a roundabout way, asking him to step aside. While his words were polite, it was effectively an order to leave. The other two men in suits seemed to be bodyguards. Since it felt as though Tennessee and these men knew each other, Amber attempted to stand up.

“Stay here.”

It had been a long time since he’d heard those words, “Stay here.” The men didn’t seem to mind much that Amber remained, so they didn’t say anything further. And before long, someone appeared. From Amber’s perspective, “appeared” was the perfect word.

It was a blonde young boy who looked to be in the upper grades of elementary school.

…He couldn’t be the son, right? Even if he was blonde. Amber thought he didn’t seem like the kind of person who would visit Tennessee’s room, but a British accent, no different from the man’s earlier, flowed out. The boy calmly expressed his gratitude, mentioning hard work and sacrifice.

Amber felt a surge of jealousy—a feeling that hadn’t been triggered since “that woman” in Chicago. As he continued to listen, the gaps in the story filled in. Amber let out a small “ah.” Tennessee had been guarding this British child.

“I’m glad you’re safe,” Tennessee said softly.

Amber felt his jealousy double as the puzzle pieces fell into place, and he forced a smile to hide it. Tennessee had thrown himself into danger to stop those who tried to kidnap the boy for ransom.

It was just a job.

Amber tried to comfort himself with that thought, but the image of a young boy, in peril, being honest… it reminded him of himself as a child, and Amber hated that fact. Tennessee was already a man who was difficult to win over as it was.

Perhaps it was because Tennessee was a dry person, but Amber seriously worried that he had a power that attracted similarly dry people. If not, there was no other way that noble boy could have come and rambled on about how “their side would cover the medical expenses, so please don’t worry and focus on recovering, and thank you so much.”

Though he managed his expression, Amber crossed his arms, feeling quite grumpy inside.

Wiping away tears, the boy reached out toward Tennessee’s hand resting on the bed. He seemed to want to hold it.

Do I really have to be jealous of a child? Just as that conflict was arising in Amber’s mind, the moment the child reached out, Tennessee naturally moved his hand and held it out toward Amber.

Tennessee’s left arm, which wasn’t in a cast, pointed toward the water bottle. He acted as if he hadn’t even seen the boy, whose hand was now left awkwardly hanging in mid-air.

“I’ll be in touch again.”

“I plan to rest until I recover.”

“Mr. Clayton, after you recover—”

“Even if the surgery is successful, I won’t return to how I was before the accident. I don’t know if I can be a useful head of security.”

Good job, Tennessee!

Amber, who had been about to give him the water bottle, changed his mind. Instead of handing it over, he opened the cap and held the bottle to Tennessee’s lips. He expected a protest, but Tennessee drank the water obediently.

So pretty. The best. I love this so much, I think I’m going crazy.

Amber realized that when his heart beat too fast, the pulse could be felt all the way down to the soles of his feet.