#24

Tennessee turned his back on the screaming Megan. She grabbed hold of him, pouring out a barrage of questions.

“Is it really all sorted out?”

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Tennessee when he said it was fine now, but there were too many unresolved questions.

Should he explain it now? After hesitating, Tennessee looked at the child beside him and made up his mind. There wasn’t enough time to explain everything to Megan in detail. Tennessee left her with the promise that he would visit again someday.

Until then, the child remained cradled in Tennessee’s arms. After a bout of sobbing, the child stopped and tentatively lifted their face.

“If you’re done crying, get down.”

“…I’m not done yet.”

“Squeeze all you want, nothing’s coming out.”

Seeing the child deliberately scrunch up their face made Tennessee let out a hollow laugh. It was absurd.

“Is it all over now? Are we safe?”

When Tennessee held out his hand, the child placed the gun upon it. A red nose, eyes brimming with moisture.

“We’re going somewhere else now, right?”

Once they got into the car, Tennessee helped the child into the passenger seat. Even while wiping away tears, the child diligently fastened the seatbelt. It seemed they had developed a good habit.

“Wrist.”

As Tennessee rolled up the jacket sleeve covering the wrist, the thin skin, now completely healed, was revealed. Tennessee chuckled softly upon seeing the sleeve stained with tear marks.

“Show me your teeth.”

“Look. A new one is starting to grow.”

The child pulled back the corner of their mouth to show him. It wasn’t fully grown yet, but a small, white tooth was peeking out from the gums.

I see. Tennessee nodded.

“Where are we going now?”

The child asked, bravely wiping away tears.

Tennessee suddenly found himself unsure of how to break the news to the child.

A familiar silence filled the car. The child’s hands, which had been tying their shoelaces, slowed down.

The child had lived a life that felt like it was half-floating, like a dandelion seed. Because of that, they easily noticed Tennessee’s subtle silence.

“…No, right?”

The child looked up, but he couldn’t meet their eyes. He leaned his head against the driver’s seat and closed his eyes.

Feeling the tears that had just stopped beginning to well up again, the child tightened their lips. The tears that wouldn’t come out no matter how hard they squeezed while being held now flowed easily.

“Tennessee. No, right?”

“You’ll be going to a good home.”

“Tennessee…”

The child wiped their eyes with a sleeve already blotched with tears.

“Are you abandoning me?”

“No, listen carefully.”

“You are abandoning me. …You promised to tell me. When you leave me behind.”

“I’m not abandoning you.”

“Liar!”

In the end, the child wailed, begging him not to throw them away. It wasn’t a tantrum. It was a prayer. Even knowing it wouldn’t be granted, even knowing there was no possibility of it happening, the child could not let go of the lingering hope.

He remembered how the child had boldly shouted that they would survive on their own. They had said they would leave—even though at the time they had nothing but their own body and not a single dollar to their name—yet where had that spirit gone? The child sobbed uncontrollably.

Please. Those words were the child’s final plea. Even in a situation of immediate desperation and helplessness, the child hadn’t dared to ask him not to abandon them. It had been the last struggle of a child, a matter of pride. Tennessee realized a bit too late that it had been a challenge, a refusal to lean on him completely.

The child wept silently.

“I’ll visit sometimes.”

“I don’t want that…”

Between sobs, the child demanded an answer.

“Why? Why are you leaving!”

The pleading overflowed and turned into resentment.

“I have to go to work.”

“Where?”

“Afghanistan.”

“That wasn’t the plan. That was when you were a soldier, but now you’re here. …Is it because of me?”

The question had slipped out unconsciously. The child had never dared to imagine that they possessed enough value for Tennessee to endure something for their sake. However, the question arose because the child’s intuition prompted it.

“It’s not because of you, it’s because of me. Because of my guilt.”

“Hic… What guilt?”

Tennessee sighed. Then, he spoke.

Not knowing where to begin, he paused intermittently. Should he start from how he got into this line of work, or should he start from that specific moment?

“I do the things that people don’t want to do themselves.”

“Like a tutor, or a teacher?”

Haha. No.

Even in the midst of this, Tennessee let out a small smirk. It was a question that revealed the child’s worldview.

To this child, a teacher was likely someone parents—who found it tedious to teach their children at home—paid to come over.

Despite the crying, the child was mesmerized by Tennessee’s smile, which they were seeing for the first time. The corners of his mouth curved gently, revealing a smile. The child had known he could smile. The child wiped their tears.

“If they pay me, I kill people for them.”

The child’s eyes widened.

‘Do you remember a man named Taylor Watson?’

‘Won’t he resent you? You owe a debt to the child.’

“In the past, I took whatever jobs came my way. I had a vague idea of what long-term consequences my actions would bring, but I didn’t care.”

It was a few years ago when Tennessee took that job.

It was a job received from a broker, as usual. Because it was a demanding task, the payment was large.

The target was scheduled to enter the FBI’s Witness Protection Program. He was a young man who had just turned twenty and was a crucial witness in a trial. Tennessee didn’t ask, nor did he want to know, what trial he was testifying for.

And a few weeks after the job was finished, Tennessee saw the young man’s photo on the front page of the newspaper. As if possessed, he opened the paper.

The case the young man was set to testify in was no ordinary scandal.

It was a scandal involving the Department of Child Support and foster homes sending a small number of children as sex toys to powerful figures, such as high-ranking politicians and businessmen, in exchange for payment. Taylor Watson was at the very center of the human trafficking ring, and William Hurston was among the suspects accused of supplying the children to him.

Child pornography was recovered from the computers of several politicians, but that was all. There was a lack of substantial witnesses during the investigation.

In a situation where more evidence was needed for prosecution, that young man had come forward to the authorities. He claimed he had been sexually assaulted multiple times by various politicians until he reached adulthood and was scheduled to testify soon. However, he never made it to the courtroom.

Tennessee knew the reason all too well. Tennessee stared, as if entranced, at the face of the person he had killed.

That was the result of his actions.

Among those who were released and found not guilty after the key witness was murdered was Taylor Watson. He was the ‘friend of Mr. Hurston’ the child had mentioned.

11 – Chapter

As far as Tennessee knew, the child had suffered horrific abuse at the hands of Hurston. Had he stayed there any longer, he might have faced not only physical abuse but sexual abuse as well. He might have become just another one of Taylor Watson’s many victims.

“Then… then if Tennessee hadn’t done it,”

“Hurston and Watson would have been indicted, or at the very least, they wouldn’t have been able to lay a finger on the child. That is my fault.”

The child forgot to cry and simply stared at Tennessee.

Tennessee knew that the child held a great fantasy about him.

The reason he hadn’t explained everything to the child might have been because he enjoyed that fantasy. Because the flesh of the child’s longing, admiration, and trust was sweet.

“I am not a good person. Instead, I will send you to a good home.”

“I don’t want to.”

Biting his lip, the child suppressed his anger. Tennessee did not ask the child what he had endured. That was for God and the child alone to know.

“Then don’t throw me away! You owe me! It’s because of you!”

The child, finally exploding in anger, immediately shook his head.

“No, I didn’t mean to say that. I know. It’s not Tennessee’s fault.”

Wiping the tears from his chin, the child gazed at Tennessee as if glaring.

“Only blame yourself as much as is necessary, Tennessee. Hurston tormented me a lot. It was terrible. But that’s because he is a bad person. Unfortunately, there are many devils in this world. Is Derek Tennessee’s fault too? No, he isn’t.”

It wasn’t entirely wrong. Even if it hadn’t been him, the job would have gone to another hitman. However, that did not grant him absolution for what he had done.

Every action carries a consequence and a responsibility. As a result of Tennessee’s choice, Taylor Watson was able to walk free. Because of that, victims like this child were created.

“I’ll forgive you. Just don’t throw me away.”

“I’m not leaving you because I dislike you.”

“Then why!”

“I’m not cut out to be a proper parent or guardian. You are young, and you need to find someone who can actually protect you.”

“Tennessee. You protected me.”

“I’m sorry.”

It was the first time Tennessee had apologized. He spoke softly.

“What about school? Who takes you whenever you have football practice? Do you think I’d be sitting in the stands when you play a game? It’s not that I won’t, it’s that I can’t. That would be neglect and abuse. You would have to keep waiting for me in an empty house. You are not a pet. Being with me isn’t everything in your life.”

“Liar.”

“I’ll come find you when I return from Afghanistan. I mean it.”

“I don’t need you to.”

Tennessee pulled out a box. He held it out to the child sitting in the passenger seat, but the child, stubbornly keeping his lips pressed together, refused to take it.

When he pressed him again, the child took the box with a sniffle.

As the wrapping paper was torn away, a latest-model smartphone was revealed. The child looked it over and spoke sharply.

“Tennessee, where did you learn this terrible habit of providing material compensation after hurting someone?”

“……I gave it to you so you could contact me.”

He gave a gift and got a long lecture in return. It was a first-time experience for Tennessee.

There was a practical reason, but he also remembered how the child had run around in joy when he bought him new clothes at the mall last time.

“I’ll be leaving for Afghanistan soon. When I come back, let’s go to Disneyland.”

“That’s a place for kids.”

As expected, it wasn’t easy.

“Then let’s go to Universal Studios.”

Whether Universal Studios was different or not, the child didn’t say it was a place for kids.

The reason Tennessee had told the child about his past was that he wanted to ease the child’s anxiety. The promise that because he owed the child, he would pay him back over time. It became an anchor.

Whether he sensed that intention or not, the child no longer spoke. It was a reaction mixed half-and-half with resignation and acceptance. The child breathed heavily, consumed by a whirlwind of emotions.

“……What is your name?”

The child wiped away the tears still brimming in his eyes. However, having calmed down more than before, he spoke with a trembling breath.

“Amber. Amber. A fucking name.”

It was a girl’s name.

“I see why you hid it.”

“You said you wouldn’t make fun of me.”

“You’ll probably use a new name once you’re adopted anyway.”

“I hate fucking Amber. I hate all names that start with A.”

The child, finally having stopped crying, made a request.

“Please name me, Tennessee. Something manly.”

In an era where people asked what ‘manly’ or ‘girly’ even meant, Amber was far too much of a girl’s name.

Did the biological parents expect a girl at first? Thinking of things for which there was absolutely no way to find an answer, Tennessee nodded.

Amber. He had been Amber.

“Ha……!”

Tennessee let out a hollow exclamation. He recalled the moment he had impulsively stolen the car. His intuition had been right, but it was a warning of a different kind.

The reason why, out of so many cars in the Seven-Eleven parking lot, he had to get into that specific car. It was an Amber Alert.