Park Hae-jun found it strange. It was possible for a helper to feel nothing special. A helper was like a tree—trees merely breathe, but in doing so, they purify the air and people receive oxygen. And not just any oxygen, but like oxygen underwater.
How could someone who suddenly breathes underwater remain calm? He’d heard that in extreme cases, some would wet themselves just from holding hands with a helper.
“What’s going on? Lee A-gon, don’t you feel anything? Even like this?”
The energy had definitely gone in. But Park Hae-jun couldn’t feel it reaching Lee A-gon. He interlaced his fingers with Lee A-gon’s. Not satisfied with that, he linked arms with him too. Still, Lee A-gon showed no reaction.
‘This couldn’t be right.’
Park Hae-jun released Lee A-gon’s hand with a dejected expression. It felt as if some barrier was blocking the connection between them.
“I don’t understand. What’s happening here?”
Could it be that the guy wasn’t a power-holder? No, that wasn’t it. Hadn’t he just experienced it firsthand? That was definitely a link. The special and rare soul-connection that only happens between a helper and a power-holder.
Park Hae-jun thought deeply. ‘Why wasn’t it working? Why did it work earlier but not now? What had changed between then and now?’
“…”
Park Hae-jun’s gnawing lips parted.
What was happening at the moment the link occurred? And what wasn’t happening now?
‘It was murder.’
“Good God.” With a low groan, Park Hae-jun released Lee A-gon’s hand.
In the bathtub, he had nearly died at Lee A-gon’s hands. Lee A-gon had simply wanted his ziplock bag back, but Park Hae-jun had almost died. If the link hadn’t occurred, he might really have died.
‘Does that mean I need to do something like that again for assistance to work?’ Park Hae-jun shook his head. That couldn’t be right. He couldn’t have life-and-death experiences every time he needed to assist.
So what should he do?
If he needed to give Lee A-gon an experience similar to almost killing someone each time he assisted…
If there was an emotion as intense as murder, something that stimulated the peripheral nerves just as much…
What could that be? What should he do for him?
Park Hae-jun came up with the answer.
Something that evokes emotions as intense as murder. Something that maximally stimulates human senses. Sex.
“…This is exactly why I didn’t want to become a helper.”
After his awakening, Park Hae-jun had read many books about power-holders and helpers. Power-holders and helpers were a new type of human that had only recently emerged. Research on the awakened was still in its infancy, and different schools interpreted them differently.
Amid all this, researchers commonly pointed to one thing: the orientation toward physical contact. That is, the correlation between skinship and guiding.
The more physical contact, the stronger the guiding became. This was an absolute and unchanging law. Even with low resonance rates, sexual acts could enable much more powerful assistance.
And this was the real reason helpers avoided military service.
Between power-holders and helpers, there’s something called a resonance rate, and when it doesn’t match, “unavoidable physical intimacy” increases. From holding hands to pressing lips together. Further, to embracing naked. After that, the progression led to genital friction and penetration.
The problem was that the gender ratio of power-holders was clearly skewed to one side. Power-holders were 80% male, and to prevent their rampages, the government was forcing “unavoidable physical intimacy” on helpers.
This meant that helpers had an 80% chance of having to engage in forced skinship with male power-holders.
Why would women go to such a place? And men? It was natural that men would be even more reluctant.
Having to have “unavoidable physical intimacy” with other men in an already unwanted military service. Park Hae-jun hated it too. Why should he be dragged into the military and have to embrace men he’d never met before?
Power-holders who approached helpers regardless of gender might not mind, but helpers weren’t like that. They were ordinary humans who wanted to live ordinary lives pursuing their dreams.
If there is a God, he’d like to ask: why did you design power-holders to be inevitably obsessed with helpers? Why can they only find salvation through contact with helpers?
A game where you’re born as a pair, but one becomes an eternal chaser. Because of this special nature, while the government distributed propaganda claiming things were different now, they tried to dismiss the unfiltered spread of “unavoidable physical intimacy” as a false rumor, but it was useless. The story had already spread too widely.
Damn it. Park Hae-jun turned his head with a miserable expression to look at Lee A-gon. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, reality wouldn’t change.
The reason the assistance wasn’t working was probably because their resonance rate was terrible.
Then why did the link occur? If their resonance rate was so low, how could it spike high enough for a link to form?
It must have been because of the dramatic situation of murder and death. Just like how hitting a static-filled radio hard might temporarily tune it to the right frequency.
“So it needs to be that intense, huh?”
Park Hae-jun made his decision. Normal assistance was impossible with Lee A-gon’s low resonance rate. The clock showed 10:40, and Park Hae-jun, exhausted beyond measure, didn’t want to hesitate any longer. Steeling his resolve, he slipped his hand under Lee A-gon’s towel.
Only one option remained. Sexual contact.
In truth, Park Hae-jun had attempted sexual contact with a man before. A junior who claimed to adore him had begged to sleep with him just once before military service, and under the influence of alcohol, Park Hae-jun had tried.
The results weren’t good. Somehow his junior had managed to get Park Hae-jun erect and tried to insert it while on top, but it was too painful to succeed. After several failed attempts, Park Hae-jun lost his erection, and from the next day onward, things became incredibly awkward between them.
If he gained anything from that experience, it might be that he didn’t feel revulsion at holding another man’s penis.
But that seemed to only apply when handling one smaller than his own. Earlier, it had been so dirty that he hadn’t even thought of it as a penis, focusing only on scrubbing it clean, but now that he was conscious of what he was doing, it felt strange.
Park Hae-jun pinched Lee A-gon’s penis between two fingers and lifted it. If there was anything remotely acceptable about Lee A-gon’s otherwise unattractive body, it was his penis. It was a pale pink color with sparse pubic hair, giving it an overall clean appearance.
Of course, it was still a man’s penis. Park Hae-jun moved Lee A-gon’s pinched penis a few small times before making an “ugh” sound and putting it down. He really didn’t want to touch another man’s penis after all.
‘What now?’
Low resonance rate. That meant assistance was impossible through moderate methods. Murder or sex was needed.
Park Hae-jun, who had been repeatedly rubbing his face in frustration, glanced at Lee A-gon. Lee A-gon was sitting upright on the bed.
‘Could I penetrate him?’
He absolutely couldn’t bring himself to touch each other’s genitals and kiss. The image of the man in his head was too intense for that. Bugs crawling from his wrist. The smell of wet garbage. The greasy black hair. Damn, Park Hae-jun shuddered.
He tried to imagine himself penetrating Lee A-gon. They wouldn’t need to touch each other. He could just get himself erect somehow and thrust into him.
‘Could I actually penetrate this guy?’
The junior who had seduced him in the past was shorter and prettier than him. His penis was also small, which lessened the sense of rejection about him being male.
Lee A-gon’s penis was larger than Park Hae-jun’s. Not only that, he was taller and had broader shoulders.
Moreover, Lee A-gon was a very unattractive man. If judging between beautiful and ugly, he was definitely ugly. He was so thin that every bone protruded, and his skin was mottled with bruises.
Looking closely, traces of his once-handsome face weren’t entirely absent. The problem was his emaciation. He was frighteningly thin. Added to that was the vacant expression typical of mentally disturbed individuals, which completed an atmosphere that made Park Hae-jun not even want to approach him.
Haah, Park Hae-jun sighed deeply. What could he do? No matter how much he denied reality, Lee A-gon’s face wasn’t going to magically become beautiful. He would continue to be unattractive, and Park Hae-jun needed to penetrate him by the end of the day.
Park Hae-jun unwrapped the towel around his lower body. His hand, after wandering for a while, eventually grabbed his own penis and shook it until it made tapping sounds. Despite a considerable amount of time passing, his penis showed no signs of becoming erect. Finally, Park Hae-jun let go of his penis and glared at Lee A-gon. He wasn’t angry—he was at a loss. It seemed impossible to penetrate him.
If penetration was impossible, what should he do? Embrace him? Try kissing him?
No, that’s out of the question. Kissing is even worse than penetration.
‘Then what?’
He couldn’t penetrate, and kissing was impossible.
But oral sex seemed like it might be possible.
Not him doing it, but the other way around. That seemed doable.
“Lee A-gon. Open your mouth.”
Park Hae-jun grabbed the back of Lee A-gon’s head. There were things one didn’t want to do but had to. This was one of them.
“Come on.”
Lee A-gon remained vacant, but Park Hae-jun didn’t wait any longer. He forcefully pressed his penis against Lee A-gon’s mouth and rubbed it.
When he pushed his glans against the slightly parted lips, the mouth slowly opened. The moment his glans touched the warm tongue, Park Hae-jun’s shoulders hunched with a jolt.
Despite being the mouth of an extremely unattractive, emaciated, visibly ill man, inside it was warm and moist. The feeling of the mucous membrane and tongue against his glans was pleasant.
Lee A-gon, who suddenly found himself with another man’s penis in his mouth, frowned and tried to pull his head back. Even without intelligence, his distress at not understanding what was happening was palpable.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Park Hae-jun firmly held Lee A-gon’s jaw to prevent him from escaping. It would be better for him too if this ended quickly.
“I’ll make you better.”
Park Hae-jun muttered as he pushed his penis into Lee A-gon’s mouth, who was floundering without understanding what was happening to him.
“Just endure a little. Then I’ll make you well again.”