By Zephyria 
The reason Noah had given up everything and was breathing like a houseplant was because he knew very well that there was nowhere to escape anyway.
God whispered to Noah as a habit. When his life as a human was over, an eternal paradise would unfold, where only God and Noah would exist. The title ‘My Young-won’, which had once sounded like a sweet nickname, had become the most powerful derogatory term to mock Noah.
It was better to live as a human, even if he was suffocating with guilt. His family, Adrian, and now even Carlisle, whose faces made him feel sorry just to look at them… This wretched life, where Noah’s precious beings lived and breathed together, was a hundred or a thousand times better.
To be left alone with God, who had made him so desperate and miserable, in an infinite space and infinite time, to spend ‘eternity’ with him, was a terrifying thought even to imagine.
God said that since Noah had been reborn as a human soul, it was important to live out his natural lifespan and complete a full life in order to be reborn with a greater status, befitting his given destiny. That was why he had revived Noah again and again, who was trying to close his eyes at will.
He couldn’t die. After death, an eternity with God awaited.
God knew very well how much Noah hated that fact, but he still considered it a trivial matter. He believed that the minor rebellion of a lover who was sulking and upset without knowing his place, and who had lost his mind as a result, would naturally be resolved once he shed his human form.
So that was how he had been living, just barely breathing, neither dead nor alive.
But now, he finally had a means. A very precious key that might lead him to the freedom he had so longed for, eternal rest.
The probability wasn’t one hundred percent, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t think there was anywhere worse to fall anyway, so he had to struggle somehow.
The blue eyes of the Empress, who was prepared to die, or rather, who wanted to die, flickered with madness. The lovely boy who had laughed so refreshingly in front of the sparkling fountain, more clear than the rainbow-colored streams of water, was nowhere to be found.
During the month or so that he had been granted by God, Noah’s top priority became Carlisle Graham. Even the Emperor, who subtly showed his disappointment, asking what was so good about that puppy, didn’t enter Noah’s mind. He still felt sorry for Adrian. So, as sorry as he felt, he had to completely disappear from his life as soon as possible. That was the right thing to do. At that time, all of Noah’s thought circuits were focused on a perfect death that even God couldn’t revive.
He had heard that a sword made from a fang extracted from the Graham Clan’s true form could easily break even the most powerful sacred object containing divinity. If so, there was a chance. The most certain way would be for the Sacred Beast to bite his neck directly, rather than extracting the fang, but Noah decided not to use that method.
“It’s like a dream to be able to be with you like this. I wish we could stay like this forever…”
He couldn’t commit such a terrible act against Carlisle, who was murmuring so sadly.
He had heard that there were several heirloom swords in the Graham Clan’s main castle, so he would sweet-talk Carlisle and ask him to give him one as a token of their love, taking advantage of the opportunity. An old book he had seen in the Imperial Palace library had even told him that the day when the moon was completely eclipsed was the day when God’s power was weakest in this world, so Noah planned to carry out his plan as soon as he obtained the sword through Carlisle, on the very day of the upcoming Lunar eclipse.
The opportunity came much faster than he had expected. Because the heir had been away from the territory for a long time, the subversive forces that had been lurking beneath the surface dared to plan to take over the Territory of Graham. Carlisle had no choice but to go down for a while to suppress the chaos in the north, and bid a regretful farewell. It wasn’t even a month since he had been guaranteed by God.
Noah told the anxious Carlisle to send him a token of their love when he returned to Graham. Carlisle fulfilled that request admirably. He sent him a sword forged not from the fangs of his ancestors, but from his own fangs, which he had extracted and refined himself.
“…It’s been a while, Empress.”
The one who had secretly transported the precious item to the Empress Palace without anyone knowing was the most powerful Sorcerer Noah knew. He, who had once stolen Noah and had to lose him again without being able to do anything, had already noticed that there was a tremendously high power lurking near Noah, even though they had never had an open conversation. He seemed to have roughly figured out that the identity of that power was God, and what the only weapon that could oppose God was, after a long period of research. He was indeed skilled enough to claim to be the master of a dazzling ivory tower built with intellect.
They didn’t have much of a conversation. They couldn’t talk about things that shouldn’t be said out loud, and they couldn’t even think of any unsavory thoughts in order not to be detected by God.
Noah smiled and hid the token of pure love that Carlisle had offered under his bed, and drank strong liquor like water in order not to think of anything. When the scent of exotic incense that dulled his brain grazed the tip of his nose, his mind was bleached white as always. It was a scent that turned him into a fool who only indulged in base pleasures, but he wanted to avoid God’s surveillance even if he had to be so vulgar. After Carlisle left, he always lived like this. Apart from not appearing in front of Noah, God could always see through Noah’s every move, as well as his fragile heart. If he could avoid him for sure, he would be willing to do even worse things.
Adrian’s worries for the failing, no, definitely failing Empress were endless. Adrian never reproached Noah for failing to maintain the dignity of an Empress or fulfill their role. However, instinctively realizing that Noah was not simply indulging in denial or pleasure, he only sought answers with a begging attitude, asking to know what was causing it.
“I knew long ago that you didn’t love me….”
“……”
“Still, I wanted to keep even an empty shell by my side and pretended not to notice, but is even that difficult now? Am I that terrible…? Noah, tell me. Please. What can I do, what can I do?”
As always, Noah had no answer to give Adrian. Even if he wanted to speak, he could only move his lips, unable to utter any more information. He would not be able to give any answer without God’s permission. He decided not to despair anew. Instead, he thought secretly in the depths of his unconsciousness. After all, it was right to disappear as soon as possible, even for Adrian’s sake, to repay this guilt.
Noah reached out haphazardly to the Alphas around him, lost in a hazy scent that craved pleasure. The Empress, no longer innocent or lovely, was breathtakingly decadent and beautiful. No one could refuse the Empress’s touch.
The steadfast guard who had silently stood by his side without saying a word until he, driven mad by loneliness, despaired and fell, finally becoming a heinous human being impossible to keep by his side; the great Sorcerer who roughly guessed his plan to dare to escape God’s embrace as a mere human and whispered to use him instead of stopping him; and the young and capable Emperor who had loved him every moment of his life.
Everyone loved the Empress, but after some time, guarding the Empress’s bedchamber in turns was mostly the responsibility of those three.
The chaos in the North was not resolved for a long time. The loyal guard knew well that the Empress was secretly concerned about him and volunteered to go to the North first.
“Your Majesty. Just command me. You only need to command what you desire, and it is my part to achieve it.”
The knight’s loyalty was exceptional, to the point where he barely remembered that their first meeting was a unilateral gift from the Crown Prince. If it weren’t for his insistence on remaining only the Empress’s guard, he would have surely received a title and risen to prominence long ago. Even when criticized for how he could continue such an impure relationship when he was the Emperor’s subject before being the Empress’s knight, he didn’t bat an eye.
“If you were to feel sorry, I would not listen to such undeserved words.”
“Sir Kyle.”
“Any dishonor as a knight is only a pleasure if it is given by you. So do not feel guilty.”
“……”
“Shall I pacify the rebellion in the North and return?”
The knight spoke calmly. His humble birth had made it impossible for him to fully express his feelings for the lord he admired, and for the first time, his silent mouth moved confidently, filled with his will.
“Shall I save the life of that Grand Duke who dared to declare that he would protect you before me and return?”
It was a confession close to a declaration that he should not presumptuously love you or desire to be loved by you, but that protecting you was solely his role.
“Give me your command. I am your loyal sword. Being wielded by you will be my only glory.”
For the first and last time. The knight, Kyle Gray, was able to convey his most honest and precious heart to his beloved lord without reservation.
“I love you. Since you were… my Little Duke, constantly.”
The knight, the only Sword Master in the Empire, was indeed outstanding in skill. He single-handedly suppressed the chaos in the North, where fierce battles were taking place, and after saving the life of Grand Duke Graham, who was isolated in the middle of the battlefield, he entered eternal rest. Carlisle was able to return safely to Noah’s side. With the knight’s cold corpse.
“……Your Majesty.”
Carlisle, who officially visited the Imperial Palace to report the victory and deliver the knight’s remains, could not even bring himself to call Noah’s name. Noah collapsed on the coffin. Because Carlisle was in front of him, he was fortunately able to send the knight on his way in his right mind, not intoxicated.
“If possible… his last wish was to be buried somewhere in the corner of the Hamilton family’s main residence… somewhere in the garden where he was with you.”
Noah was unbearably guilty towards the knight, who only wanted and desired so little as his last wish, and collapsed on the coffin, shedding only hot tears. Count Hamilton, the Empress’s older brother, received the coffin with a bitter expression and answered that he would. Then, he conveyed to the Emperor his intention to keep the Empress at the Hamilton residence for a few days. The Emperor also sadly granted permission.
The knight’s funeral, held at the Hamilton family’s residence, was very grand and solemn. Grand Duke Graham, whom the knight had saved at the cost of his life, stood by the Empress throughout the funeral, as if to replace the role of the knight who was now gone.
One night, after the funeral lasting several days finally came to an end. The Empress suddenly looked at the night sky, which was growing darker. A Lunar eclipse was imminent.
The next morning, after sleeping soundly, he roamed around his childhood home, installing Magical Artifacts that he had obtained in advance through the Sorcerer. With Carlisle by his side, it would have been easy to hide from God’s eyes. He had heard from Carlisle through the temple that something evil was hovering around him, so he laid the groundwork in advance, saying that he was performing a ritual to remove it today. The clever but innocent Little Duke accepted Noah’s words without suspicion.
Finally, on the last night of his life, he became recklessly intoxicated and excited. With fragrant lips that had drunk a few sips of wine in a row, he left light kisses on the cheeks of his beloved mother and father, and his two affectionate brothers. His father seemed secretly pleased, asking what was wrong with the grown-up son, and his two brothers were relieved to see Noah, who seemed to have regained his energy. Only his mother noticed that something was strange.
“I should go up and sleep first, maybe it’s because I drank… I’m dizzy.”
“Okay. Have a good dream, dear.”
“Good night, Noah.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“…Yes. Have a peaceful night.”
The last greeting was rather light. Noah went up to his bedroom with a faint smile and waited for the night to deepen. Eventually, it was close to midnight when the moon was completely swallowed by the shadow. The Magical Artifacts fulfilled their role well. Everyone in the mansion fell asleep as if collapsing, and Noah came out of the room with light steps. Holding a long sword dragging on the floor in one hand.
The fountain where the terrible, curse-like first meeting took place was still beautiful even on a dark night without moonlight. Without any fear or hesitation, he untied the Nightgown and held the tip of the sword straight above his chest.
“Noah!”
If it weren’t for the Countess’s piercing scream, the terrifying blade would have pierced his chest without delay.
“No, Noah, my baby, please…! Please don’t do that, this mother was all wrong. I was all wrong, so please put down that scary thing and… huh?”
“…It’s not mother’s fault.”
“Why are you doing this, why… please, what do you want? Just tell me, my baby. I’ll do anything at any cost, so please, come here.”
As if trying to resist the artificially induced sleep, the Countess’s arms and legs were full of mismatched red scars. Noah considered even that his sin. He put more strength into the hand holding the sword. After all… for the sake of everyone, as soon as possible…
“Good heavens, God… Noah…! Noah…!”
“I’m sorry, Mother. This is the only path left for me now.”
“Ah, no, Noah!”
Eventually, the gruesome blade penetrates right through the middle of Noah’s chest. The sound of hard ribs breaking and the scattering pain were just gruesome.
Even in pain, he smiled brightly.
“Noah Hamilton!”
Seeing the angry voice of God, who had forcibly descended without regard for the shattering of the world’s boundaries, echoing loudly in his ears, he knew for sure.
“You, daring… how dare you…!”
He had finally succeeded in breaking the shackles of eternity given to him and running away.
* * *
“Huh…!”
And back to the present.
“Noah! Are you alright? Are you conscious?”
On the Secluded mirror in the false castle that reflects everything. ‘Noah Hamilton’, who had remembered everything, opened his eyes again.