By Zephyria 
142
Ho-eun mumbled as he slowly rose. He didn’t need anyone to take him. He was planning to go alone. If there were no words, he would go on foot.
But before Ho-eun could even fully stand, Gil-sang, who was beside him, grabbed his elbow. He didn’t pull him or make him sit, just held him. Then, he looked at Ho-eun with his characteristically neat eyes.
“Just one day, please hide for just one day. Only from now until tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow night? No. I can’t. I can’t do that.”
One day. It seemed like a short time at first glance, but not to someone in pain. Ho-eun, who had been sick his whole life, knew better than anyone. Just suffering from a fever made a day so terrible, but Tae-muk… wasn’t his whole body torn to shreds? A day in a state where he couldn’t eat or sleep. It was too cruel.
Ho-eun shook his head again, as if he couldn’t do it no matter how he thought about it.
“It’s all for the Captain. So please wait.”
An unfamiliar voice was heard. It was Byeonguk, who was sitting nearby, rummaging through firewood. His face was expressionless. An expressionless face that vaguely resembled Tae-muk.
“……”
Ho-eun stared at him intently. Why was that guy so calm? A person who served Tae-muk, who had seen how badly he was hurt, how dare he hold him back with words that it was for his sake.
“How can this be helpful to the General? I don’t understand at all-”
Ho-eun, who was busily continuing his words, suddenly stopped his voice. His eyes slowly widened. He remembered what Tae-muk had said to him once, after he had spent the first night with Tae-muk and was sick for several days.
‘If I get hurt like that again, run away.’
‘The injured me is not in my right mind. I’m not even human.’
‘I’ve already tasted you once, so next time I might really tear you apart like a Devouring Ghoul. No amount of ointment will help with that.’
‘So run away. Go hide with Oh Gil-sang or someone.’
‘If about half of the wound heals after a day or so, I’ll be a little better. You can come then.’
Ho-eun, recalling his low voice, had no choice but to sit down as if collapsing.
“This… did the General… order this…?”
He asked in a floating voice.
“……”
“……”
Those sitting around the campfire answered with silence. A silence of affirmation.
“Ah……”
Ho-eun closed his eyes tightly. Tae-muk knew that he would be seriously injured again someday, and he seemed to have prepared this in case he might harm him as a result.
Dong-ja, who stood in front of Tae-muk, Gil-sang, who ran away with him, Seong-im and Byeonguk, who followed, all followed his orders.
Tae-muk had separated himself from him.
In case the insane him would hurt him again.
“……”
Ho-eun bit his lower lip.
What a fool. What does it matter if I’m a little sick? He’s bleeding like that. His flesh is being torn off. Just because I might be a little sick, he’s going to endure that pain with a clear mind.
If that’s the case, why did he even look for a Bondmate? If I can’t help even when I’m here, it’s no different from not being here.
Why make me… such a useless being?
Ho-eun pressed his lips together tightly. Otherwise, he felt like he would shed tears like a coward. But then, something steaming hot was suddenly pushed in front of him.
“Please have this.”
Byeonguk was holding a round bowl. Black liquid sloshed inside. Ho-eun didn’t take it and just stared at it. He wondered how Herbal medicine could be here.
“Ah, it’s Herbal medicine.”
Byeonguk seemed to think that Ho-eun didn’t know what it was, so he told him anyway.
“Ah, yes.”
Ho-eun belatedly received the Herbal medicine. He wondered what Byeonguk was so engrossed in while squatting alone, but it seemed he had brewed this. They roughly filled their own dinner with cold, frozen potatoes, and then bothered to brew Herbal medicine again.
Was this also ordered by Tae-muk? Or did they do it voluntarily? Either way, it was something to be sorry and ashamed of.
“This is my first time doing something like this, so I don’t know if it will suit your taste…”
Byeonguk scratched his cheek with his index finger and sat down. At those words, Ho-eun forgot the situation and burst out laughing. What taste is there in Herbal medicine? It’s just bitter, less bitter, or very bitter.
“Thank you for the meal.”
Ho-eun, after giving a short greeting, blew on the Herbal medicine and drank it. The black liquid was as bitter as ever, but it was warm, so it went down his throat smoothly.
Ho-eun took sips of the Herbal medicine and looked at the dozen or so soldiers sitting around the campfire one by one. They must all be tired and annoyed by the sudden event, but he was amazed and sorry that they were steadfastly holding their positions without complaining.
“Just me running away has bothered so many people.”
Ho-eun said, lowering his gaze, unable to bear to look at them. But Byeonguk chuckled.
“Do we seem like a lot?”
“Yes?”
“I asked if we seem like a lot.”
“Ah, yes. You do.”
“Well, it’s not a small number. But even so, there’s nothing we can do if the Captain decides to come.”
Byeonguk said, staring at his spear hanging on a tree. It was as if he was thinking of fighting Tae-muk with it if necessary.
“But we have to hold out as long as we can. You’ll feel better after some time.”
Gil-sang continued. He also gently stroked the sword he had beside him.
“……”
Ho-eun quietly looked at the two of them. They were going to fight Tae-muk to protect him. In the end, the reason they were protecting him was because he was Tae-muk’s Bondmate. It was an absurd situation.
Ho-eun slowly shook his head as if he was confused.
“I don’t know why you have to do that. Isn’t it enough for me to just be a little sick?”
“Did you say just be sick?”
Byeonguk frowned and asked back. Ho-eun nodded concisely.
“Yes. I’ve been sick my whole life because my body is inherently unhealthy. Of course, that pain can’t be compared to the General’s, but still, uh, I don’t think I’ll be greatly distressed or sad if I’m even more sick here. So, I thought it would be more reasonable for me to relieve the General’s pain.”
Ho-eun calmly expressed his thoughts. He understood that they and Tae-muk were worried because he looked so weak and was indeed weak. But it wouldn’t do to make Tae-muk suffer more so that he could suffer less.
Ho-eun looked intently at Byeonguk, as if hoping he would understand his intentions. Byeonguk awkwardly avoided his gaze and replied.
“…It might not end with just being sick.”
“Yes?”
Ho-eun’s eyes widened. He tried to ask something, but soon closed his mouth. He remembered Gil-sang, who didn’t answer when he asked if Tae-muk would kill him. Could it be…? Did they really think so? Gil-sang, Byeonguk, the others here, and… Tae-muk too?
Ho-eun’s face gradually darkened, and Byeonguk added in a voice that didn’t change much in pitch.
“We can’t let the Captain go back to being the God of War without a Bondmate. So we will protect you, Young Master. Even if the person we have to protect you from is the Captain.”
“……”
Ho-eun opened his mouth, but couldn’t answer. A thin stream of white breath flowed out from between his teeth.
It’s a strange thing.
I exist so that Tae-muk doesn’t die, but I have to run away, leaving him to die, so that I don’t get killed by him.
And these people are protecting me from Tae-muk for Tae-muk’s sake.
“Really… would the General… to me, uh, do that?”
Ho-eun asked, tapping the Herbal medicine bowl with his fingertips. He seemed to understand the situation, but he didn’t.
That’s because Tae-muk these days… was more affectionate and warm than ever.
He falls asleep holding me every night, gently strokes my hair, worries about my fever, and kisses my forehead. He personally helps me get on the horse, fastens my clothes, and even puts his cloak around me. Even when leading a thousand soldiers at the front, he often turns around and looks at me.
That Tae-muk would hurt me. Maybe even kill me. There was no way he could believe it.
But Byeonguk let out a dry laugh.
“You don’t have to understand. The Captain is a bit… mysterious. He has a lot of innate power, so he handles everything on a larger scale.”
“Mysterious……”
Ho-eun muttered those words. Not long ago, he had said something similar.
‘My body is a bit mysterious. Even the doctor doesn’t know.’
Tae-muk got angry at him for bleeding from his nose for no reason, so he said that. But Tae-muk is also mysterious. It was as if they were a couple made in heaven, they were so alike in everything.
Ho-eun was silent for a while, thinking about something. Then he looked at Byeonguk again and asked.
“Will you continue to do this in the future? So, whenever the General is seriously injured like this, whenever he uses a lot of power, you will take me and run away?”
“Yes. We will.”
“Then the General will have to keep being sick, even though he has a Bondmate.”
“……”
Byeonguk closed his mouth. So did Gil-sang and Seong-im. The other soldiers looked at the sky or the ground. At that sight, Ho-eun made a subtle expression that was neither smiling nor crying.
“I can’t do what I’m supposed to do.”
He muttered that and quietly looked down at the black Herbal medicine. The Herbal medicine reflected in the fire turned red. Then, if he tilted it slightly, it turned black again. The way it was black and then red was just like Tae-muk’s eyes.