BSW 56

56

The smell of fish was in the air. It was the cold, fishy smell that lingered by the river late at night. Ho-eun found the chill on his skin quite pleasant. It seemed to calm the heat that enveloped his body.

“Everyone, leave.”

“But, Master…”

“I said, leave.”

Unlike before, a low voice was heard from directly above his head. It was very close. So close that the vibrations of the voice resonated against his skin each time he spoke. Come to think of it, it felt like his body was floating.

Several presences moved away, farther and farther, until they completely disappeared. And soon, whatever had been wrapped around his body was removed. It was thick and heavy, but not clothing; if he had to describe it, it was similar to a blanket.

The cool air that touched him when whatever had been covering him disappeared was nice, but at the same time, it was uncomfortable.

Ho-eun was a nobleman, and therefore always wore many layers of clothing, which made being naked like this all the more unsettling. Anxious would be a better word. So he unconsciously frowned slightly.

“…”

He felt someone staring at his face. Soon, something blunt gently rubbed at his furrowed brow. The touch was careful, but not as soft as his father’s or mother’s. That made him frown even more. The hand flinched, trembled, and then slowly moved away.

His body was moved somewhere. Each time whoever was holding Ho-eun walked, his limp arms swayed back and forth. Soon, he heard the sound of splashing, splosh, splosh. And then his body slowly lowered.

“Hngh…”

Icy cold water enveloped his entire body. Ho-eun recoiled at the unexpected chill.

“C-cold…”

He writhed and groaned. But then.

“Endure it.”

Someone restrained Ho-eun’s struggling limbs. His face immediately became damp. Endure this? Resentment welled up before defiance could. He couldn’t understand who was tormenting him like this, or why. Tears pricked at his eyes from the unfairness, and he instinctively thought of his parents.

“Mother… I’m cold… Your son is so… c-cold…”

He wished his mother would save him. He wanted her to pull him from the bone-chilling cold, to hold him.

“…”

But his mother didn’t answer. She always rushed to his side at the slightest whimper.

“Mother… Mother…”

Overcome with sorrow, Ho-eun began to sob. His body temperature rose even higher. Despite being submerged in cold water, cold sweat broke out. He was cold and hot at the same time. Ho-eun’s mind began to drift in the bizarre gap between the two sensations.

“Haa…”

Someone sighed above his forehead. Then, they wiped away the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes. They also wiped away the cold sweat that had collected on his forehead and temples.

It was an affectionate touch. A caring touch. So Ho-eun leaned into it without hesitation. He had lived a life where being touched and caressed was commonplace, which made it possible.

As Ho-eun rubbed his cheek against the large palm, he belatedly realized that the arms he was in were warm. Not hot, but warmer than the cold water.

Ho-eun moved his body, which was half-floating in the water, and clung to it. He feebly wrapped his arms around it. The water was still cold, but the parts of him that were touching it were not.

Finally ceasing his sobs, Ho-eun fell back into a deep sleep.

“He can’t swallow either rice porridge or Herbal medicine. What should we do? At this rate, something terrible will really happen, won’t it?”

Ho-eun rose from a deep sleep to a shallow one at the sound of someone’s tearful voice. He felt like he had slept for quite a while, but he didn’t want to wake up yet. He needed to sleep more. Not his body, but his mind craved it.

“What if the young master doesn’t die from the fever, but from, from starvation? Then… what should we do?”

Sniffling sounds mixed in with the youthful voice. Ho-eun didn’t know why the youthful voice was crying, or what it was worried about. His thoughts wouldn’t move. It was as if his entire head had turned into a solid stone. He was just tired, listless, sleepy, and exhausted.

“Leave that and go.”

A low voice followed. It was a voice he had heard every day since losing consciousness. But Ho-eun didn’t bother trying to guess who the voice belonged to. He wasn’t even aware that he was the ‘young master’ they were talking about.

For Ho-eun, it was both reality and a dream, a real moment and an illusion.

Soon, the youthful voice disappeared with sobs, and there was a clattering sound. It sounded like a spoon touching a dish. And then his lower jaw was pressed. His small mouth opened weakly.

A warm breath, something like a sigh, approached, and then something soft and smooth touched his lips. Then, something flowed into his mouth.

It had a watery texture, but it was bitterly, even painfully, bitter. It was a familiar bitter taste to Ho-eun.

Just as the bitter liquid sloshed over Ho-eun’s tongue, whatever had been touching his lips moved away. Ho-eun simply held the liquid in his mouth. Then, something blunt and rough gently stroked his chin.

“You have to swallow.”

Ho-eun didn’t realize that the words were directed at him. He heard someone sigh deeply. And then it touched his lips again. He wondered if more liquid was about to enter, but something slippery and thick filled his mouth. It went straight down Ho-eun’s throat, pressing firmly on the root of his tongue.

At that moment, Ho-eun involuntarily swallowed what was in his mouth. Soon, the slippery thing that had been in his mouth was gone. And then his lips were touched again, bitter liquid entered, and the root of his tongue was pressed.

Occasionally, the liquid that Ho-eun couldn’t swallow leaked from the corner of his mouth, and someone wiped it away. The touch wasn’t as soft or meticulous as his mother’s.

For the first time since losing consciousness, Ho-eun opened his eyes in the silence. There were no sounds or presences nearby. He hadn’t fully shaken off his sleep, and he leisurely floated above the silence, before suddenly jerking his upper body upright.

It had been a long time. It was the first time he had moved his body with his own strength. But it wasn’t his own will.

He didn’t want to get up, but something hot and heavy surged up from inside. In truth, his mind was still deep in slumber.

“Ugh…”

Ho-eun covered his mouth with the back of his hand, swallowing the urge to vomit. Even if he wasn’t fully conscious, he couldn’t just throw up anywhere. But then someone next to him jumped up. Ho-eun realized then that someone was next to him.

“Uuurgh…”

A sour and bitter liquid sloshed threateningly near his throat. It felt like he was about to throw up any second. Ho-eun covered his mouth with a pained expression. He felt like he had to throw it up, but where should he throw up…?

Then, something came into view. His vision was blurry, so he couldn’t tell exactly what it was. Was it a bowl, a brazier, a basket…?

“Spit it out.”

“…”

“Spit it out here.”

At those words, Ho-eun vomited up what he had been holding in as if he had been waiting for the command.

“Ugh, gasp, uurgh…”

Whatever had been filling his throat and chest poured out. The regurgitated substance was all black. Ho-eun didn’t know what he was throwing up.

“I just fed him…”

Someone next to him said in an annoyed voice. But they didn’t take away whatever was being held under Ho-eun’s mouth.

Ho-eun’s retching, which had continued for a long time, stopped only after his stomach was completely empty.

“Haa, haa…”

Thin tears streamed down Ho-eun’s cheeks. He already had no strength in his body, but after throwing up, it felt like his body was completely empty. It felt like only the shell remained. He couldn’t support his arms and legs, let alone his waist.

As he breathed shallowly, he slowly tilted to the side. He didn’t even struggle to avoid falling. He didn’t care if he bumped into something or fell headfirst.

But before his body completely collapsed, his head bumped into something. Wide, solid, and vast. At the same time, it was also somewhat soft and warm, like someone’s embrace.

In that embrace, Ho-eun thought of his father. It was as if he, now a child again, was being held in his father’s arms.

“Father…”

Ho-eun burrowed deeper into the embrace. And with his cheek against the warm skin, he muttered in a metallic voice.

“I want to go home… home…”

Please take me home, Father… Ho-eun continued to plead, but his father, or whoever it was, didn’t answer.

Ho-eun was looking at the man who had been killed by an arrow through his forehead. It was a familiar scene. Not because he had actually witnessed it, but because it was a nightmare he had already had many times.

‘Save, save me… Please save me…’

Ho-eun was staring at the blood-soaked silk clothes of the dead man, the index fingernails that had been torn off while scratching at the floor, the sunken cheeks, and the saliva or tears clinging to his beard.

But for some reason, the nobleman in today’s nightmare was bleeding a lot. He hadn’t bled that much in reality. There had only been a small pool of blood, about half the size of his palm, under the embedded arrow, but now everything was damp.

The blood that had gathered and gathered soon washed up to Ho-eun’s feet. The red pool, with even gentle waves, was like a small sea. A sea made of blood. It was horrifying. He didn’t want to see such a sight anymore.

Ho-eun closed his eyes tightly and whispered to himself.

This is a dream.

I have to wake up.

I have to wake up from this dream.

And then he opened his eyes wide again.

“…”

A figure was visible beyond his blurry vision. It was a person who was large even at a glance.

“…Deok-woo?”

Ho-eun called out to Deok-woo in a hoarse voice. He called the name of the person who immediately came to mind. But then.

“I’m not Deok-woo.”

A low voice vibrated in his ear.