By Zephyria 
Meanwhile, Kim Ju-won, who visited the indoor gymnasium in the annex, didn’t know why he was here. He had only come to see the person who naturally came to mind like a related search term whenever he thought of Ki Jae-eon.
He liked Ki Jae-eon first.
A younger man than himself.
‘Crazy bastard, should I get some advice?’
No way, would that bastard let it go?
‘If I said I had feelings for Ki Jae-eon, he’d try to kill me right away.’
He can be 100% sure.
Friendship or whatever, Ki Jae-eon is his top priority.
“……Ha.”
He licked his dry lips with his tongue and grabbed the doorknob. His fingertips twitched even as he opened the door.
‘Why did I really come? I should have just drunk some cold water and come to my senses.’
Suddenly, he remembered his high school days.
A friend he doesn’t even say hello to anymore, a friend he hasn’t talked to in a long time.
That guy, who is just one of the guys who fill up his dense contact list, used to like a girl in the same class a long time ago.
Her name was Mi-yeong or Su-yeong, anyway.
That guy even fought with another bastard who liked her. A guy who couldn’t fight and was full of fear was different that day.
The sweat that flowed, the saliva that kept spitting out, and the body that rolled on the floor of the hallway, the atmosphere of that day is revived as a whole. It wasn’t the 1980s, but the boys cheered for the ignorant fight of ‘Don’t touch my woman,’ and the girls didn’t even care, saying it was childish, but only the girl named Mi-yeong or Su-yeong blushed subtly.
Well, as expected…… the fight ended with his friend’s defeat.
When he went to find his friend who was hiding in the schoolyard and crying quietly, and asked him, ‘Why did you do that,’ the guy replied with a messed up face.
‘Because I’m anxious.’
‘Then confess, you idiot.’
Then the guy retorted with a look that said, ‘Do you know love?’
‘Is it as easy as it sounds? Before I even realized that I liked Su-yeong, that bastard was already hitting on her. He’s a few steps ahead. So I’m trying to stop him. A last resort? Something like that. Ah, damn it, if I had won, the game would have been over. I just embarrassed myself…….’
The friend muttered repeatedly as if he was upset.
Honestly, he couldn’t understand it at all back then, but somehow he felt like he could understand it now. The anxiety that his friend talked about was just fear disguised as another word.
Ugly emotion.
The ugliness of wanting to expose the other person’s flaws because you’re not confident in yourself.
Fear.
Kim Ju-won took a breath and leaned against the wall. Should he go back now…… While the thought was running through his head a few times, he heard a dry but friendly voice.
“What is it.”
“……!!”
Kim Ju-won was surprised and asked back, even though he was the one who came.
“Huh?”
“Didn’t you come because you had something to say? Say it.”
Ahn Seo-myeong said, wiping the sweat that was dripping down his neck. His unique indifferent and slightly sulky expression. But anyone who has watched him closely knows. If he really hates it, he’s someone who doesn’t even talk to you.
In other words, the current attitude of temporarily putting aside such precious personal time and agreeing to a conversation means that he is close to having a crush on him.
Kim Ju-won glanced at the dust floating in the air for no reason and fiddled with the back of his neck, saying, “Uh, that-.”
“Ah…… Ah, uh. You know, do you like pork belly or pork neck for dinner?”
Fuck, what is this.
He instinctively closed his eyes for a moment, realizing that he had failed, but once his tongue was twisted, it didn’t untangle easily. Please, stop. Me, you idiot. He tried to curse, but it was no use. His mouth was chattering and the atmosphere was cooling down.
“And you know, what……. Did you hate soybean paste stew? Or kimchi stew? You, you said your stomach hurt before-.”
He could feel his ears turning red.
It felt like the dust in the room was floating even slower. Ah, isn’t there a rat hole somewhere?
Whether Ahn Seo-myeong knew about Kim Ju-won’s embarrassment or not, he looked at him with eyes that said, ‘Is this hyung crazy?’ and sighed.
His annoyance was openly revealed, but he didn’t bother to say it out loud. Instead, he just shrugged his shoulders very lightly and said.
“I don’t care.”
Whether it’s pork belly or pork neck, soybean paste stew or kimchi stew.
“Let’s do what Jae-eon hyung eats well.”
Meat with less fat and a light taste, stew…… um, would soft tofu stew be okay? Ahn Seo-myeong muttered to himself.
“Something like that.”
“…….”
“End?”
He glanced at Kim Ju-won, who didn’t answer, and then at the clock on the wall, and then issued a gentle eviction order.
“Hyung, I want to concentrate now.”
That’s the moment.
Kim Ju-won, who had been spacing out, suddenly thought, ‘Was this guy’s voice this low?’ It wasn’t a high-pitched voice in the first place, but it seemed like it had a young and clear feeling, but at some point.
‘It’s strangely unfamiliar.’
Come to think of it, so is his gaze.
‘……It’s similar.’
The kid who was like the youngest brother had grown into a ‘man’ before he knew it.
“Hyung?”
“Huh?”
“I said you’re being a hindrance.”
A firm but not harsh tone.
It’s Ahn Seo-myeong’s way of speaking, which contains the simple meaning of ‘Go if you have nothing to say’ without any other hidden meaning.
Kim Ju-won looked at him and realized once again that his shoulders were broad.
The sweat-soaked T-shirt was neatly attached, emphasizing his broad shoulders. The shape of his muscles was straight and well-proportioned. A body that has been trained steadily. A body that someone can lean on, a body that can protect someone.
……He’s not a kid anymore.
‘Ah, I see.’
He understood now.
He understood what his friend’s anxiety was.
An attractive person standing next to the person I like.
‘Rival.’
A wind of unease blows.
His heart started beating irregularly.
An unpleasant anxiety.
“Hey.”
His mouth opened on its own and electricity ran through his fingertips. His head gradually became hot.
“……Are you going to confess?”
A strange silence fell.
Who, to whom.
The subject and object were perfect even without them.
However, the timing was terrible.
No, is the question itself terrible?
‘Damn it.’
Kim Ju-won himself knew that it was sudden. But he couldn’t stand it.
Because he felt like he had to say it.
“…….”
Instead of answering, Ahn Seo-myeong raised his hand and wiped the sweat that was dripping from his forehead. What is he thinking right now? He’s a smart guy, so he might have figured out the unspoken meaning.
“…….”
Kim Ju-won had to feel a strange tension while he was silent. He was unconsciously clenching and unclenching his hands when it happened.
Ahn Seo-myeong’s eyes rolled slowly.
The place where his quiet gaze landed was Kim Ju-won’s fist. It was silently and persistently fixed on his hand, which was full of anxiety.
They say that the gaze is the language of silence.
As soon as Kim Ju-won noticed the stinging gaze, he hurriedly hid his hand. Ahn Seo-myeong, who saw his awkward movement, rolled his eyes again. His face, which still couldn’t be read, was now staring straight ahead.
“I did.”
“What?”
“I confessed. Several times already.”
Confession.
Ah, confession.
Who?
To whom?
……You idiot, who else could it be?
The moment his mind went blank, only one name came to mind first. Ki Jae-eon.
Then what’s the answer?
Are the two of them seeing each other?
Questions crashed in like waves.
Ahn Seo-myeong, seeing Kim Ju-won’s wide eyes, turned his head away and added.
“Don’t ask about what comes after that.”
“…….”
“Because I won’t answer even if you ask.”
It was as if he was drawing a line.
A line telling him not to interfere recklessly in his and Ki Jae-eon’s secrets.
Kim Ju-won felt as if his feelings had been exposed for no reason, and awkwardly turned around. He didn’t know why, but he just wanted to run away.
With the same feelings, someone was so confident.
Someone else was too embarrassed to even test the waters like a fool.
“Who said anything? Just don’t be late for dinner.”
He tried to act cool and took a step, but, Hyung! A loud call hit him right in the back.
He didn’t turn around.
Probably the other person wasn’t really waiting either.
“Just friendship.”
Kim Ju-won knew exactly what those words meant.
Words he had heard in a back alley in Japan late at night.
‘What did I say back then?’
His tongue stiffened in his mouth.
Instead of answering, Kim Ju-won opened the door and left the training center.
The doorknob he touched, the air that entered deep into his lungs, just everything…… felt particularly cold.