It worried Namgung Jeong-yeon that the Child was so delicate.
They had decided to have a simple breakfast of sandwiches and tea, sitting across from each other. The Child, dressed prettily as always, kept fidgeting with his shirt buttons, complaining that his neck felt constricted.
Namgung Jeong-yeon thought nothing of it when Rubel undid the top button, but when he undid the second, Namgung Jeong-yeon couldn’t help but glance around.
Rubel hesitated at Namgung Jeong-yeon’s gaze, redoing the second button after fiddling with it for a while, but it was no use. The neat collar was askew, revealing a glimpse of white skin, and Namgung Jeong-yeon couldn’t tell if the bread was going into his mouth or his nose.
Even after a quick meal and putting on his jacket, the undone button continued to catch his eye and grate on his nerves.
Namgung Jeong-yeon resisted the urge to scold him for exposing his skin so carelessly when he was so susceptible to the cold. In Sierren, Namgung Jeong-yeon knew, many people went around with their upper chests exposed. Rubel probably didn’t think much of it either, but…
Namgung Jeong-yeon disliked it and stopped the Child.
“Ruben.”
“Hm? What… Oh.”
“You’re not well, don’t catch a cold.”
Rubel didn’t push away Namgung Jeong-yeon’s hand as he re-buttoned the button, blinking a couple of times before his face flushed. His face, already rosy and pleasant, turned as red as a sun-ripened fruit. Watching him, Namgung Jeong-yeon felt restless.
“…Sorry… It was just a little tight, so…”
“It would be best if you didn’t wear this outfit again.”
“…Okay…”
Hearing Rubel’s deflated voice, Namgung Jeong-yeon peered into his face. He seemed embarrassed by the close proximity, so Namgung Jeong-yeon pulled away. Whenever Rubel fiddled with his collar button, the sunlight seemed to be captivated by the jewel button, scattering dazzling light over the Child’s white skin.
“…Thank you, Mika.”
“Yes.”
Namgung Jeong-yeon soothed the hesitant Child and walked shoulder to shoulder again. They began to talk about the events at the Imperial Council and the books Namgung Jeong-yeon had been reading lately. After a pleasant conversation, they arrived at a place familiar to Namgung Jeong-yeon.
It was a weapon shop.
Namgung Jeong-yeon had visited the large, white building several times. The first time, he had brought Benjamin and Shayden along and spent a long time looking around from start to finish, but since then, he had often stopped by whenever he needed something.
Namgung Jeong-yeon felt uneasy when Rubel headed straight for Section 3, where the daggers were displayed, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Wasn’t a dagger a symbol of affection?
But Rubel cherished and loved daggers so much that he had even taught Namgung Jeong-yeon the throwing knife technique. If he wanted to receive a gift, it would be better to choose something he liked, so Namgung Jeong-yeon didn’t stop the Child. Rubel’s face was bright as he peered at the beautiful blades displayed on the glass shelves.
“Mika, which of these looks better?”
“…Well, this one seems a bit uncomfortable where the hand grips, doesn’t it? It’s flashy, but…”
“I see…”
“What do you intend to use it for mainly?”
“Just, I need a dagger to carry around with me normally.”
After a moment of thought, Namgung Jeong-yeon took Rubel’s hand and measured its size. He was eighteen now. Namgung Jeong-yeon carefully considered the calluses on his large hand, which had grown accustomed to gripping a sword.
Even though it was a swordsman’s hand, the back of it was so soft it seemed to melt, showing his noble upbringing.
Namgung Jeong-yeon compared the displayed daggers to Rubel’s hand and asked the clerk to take out five of them.
“I think it would be best to choose from these. If you want something with ornate decorations, this one…”
As Namgung Jeong-yeon spoke and looked up, he saw that the Child’s cheeks were flushed again. Ah, embarrassed that he had touched the Child without realizing it, Namgung Jeong-yeon cleared his throat a couple of times. He lowered his gaze and pointed out two of the more ornate ones.
“…Like these, which one? What do you think?”
“…The one on the right. I’ll take this one.”
“Alright.”
It was a dagger with a blue jewel decorating the end of the finely crafted silver handle. Namgung Jeong-yeon tried not to read too much into it.
After paying for it and handing the dagger to Rubel, Rubel stroked the finely crafted Sword Armor with his fingertips, looking pleased. Whether it was because of the cold or not, the Child’s flushed cheeks were particularly noticeable, making it hard for Namgung Jeong-yeon to look away.
Get a grip, Namgung Jeong-yeon. How can you keep harboring such wicked thoughts about this young one?
He had grown a lot since Namgung Jeong-yeon first met him, but he was still too young. No, not yet. It was something that couldn’t happen even after several years. He would soon be leaving next year. If Namgung Jeong-yeon didn’t covet him, they could remain good friends with innocent affection for a long time.
Even if Namgung Jeong-yeon could share that kind of relationship with the Child, there was still a problem. He repeatedly reminded himself of Shayden’s advice that he had to stay by his side even after they broke up. His job was to quietly watch the Child chatter happily with his good partner.
But then,
What about Namgung Jeong-yeon?
Namgung Jeong-yeon quietly watched Rubel, who was very excited, carefully hide the dagger inside his vest, and then obediently walked towards Daru when Rubel suggested they go somewhere to talk. When asked to choose between a nearby place and a distant one, Namgung Jeong-yeon suggested they walk to the distant one.
The weather was nice. The sun was warm, and the sky was blue. The Child chattered happily.
For some reason, Namgung Jeong-yeon’s insides kept churning.
The teahouse that Rubel led Namgung Jeong-yeon to had each table completely separated by partitions. They chose a large, nice room out of the many rooms.
Namgung Jeong-yeon was about to ask why they were going into a private room instead of an open space, but he sighed when he saw Rubel reading the menu with a serious expression, as if it were nothing.
Right, this Child was a prince, so he must be more comfortable in a place where there were no prying eyes. Namgung Jeong-yeon shouldn’t keep imbuing his actions with his own wicked thoughts. He bit his tongue to scold himself.
They sat facing each other at the round table and ordered cold drinks. Namgung Jeong-yeon felt like he had a ball of fire in his chest and wanted to drink something cold.
Namgung Jeong-yeon chuckled again when Rubel ordered several desserts as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Rubel didn’t like sweets very much, so they would all be for Namgung Jeong-yeon.
While they waited for their order to arrive, the Child, who had been silently sitting in front of Namgung Jeong-yeon, went around the round table and dragged his chair next to Namgung Jeong-yeon as soon as the server, who had brought their drinks and snacks, closed the door and left.
Namgung Jeong-yeon was a mess inside, but Rubel’s face was shining brightly, as if he was so happy and pleased.
“Sember’s Chocolate is famous for being delicious. No, wait. It’s quite rich… Would you like to try this first?”
“…Yes.”
Namgung Jeong-yeon obediently accepted what Rubel offered. The Child smiled brightly as he took care of Namgung Jeong-yeon, offering this and that. Namgung Jeong-yeon missed these days and liked hearing his chattering voice. He turned his head to take a closer look at his face since they were so close.
He remembered hearing once that if the fine hairs on the earlobe shone like jewels, it meant affection.
Jewels, what jewels. This soft and delicate thing looked like flower petals no matter how many times Namgung Jeong-yeon looked at it.
Rubel, who had been chattering away, started tapping at the desserts, as if he had been caught not paying attention to his words. Namgung Jeong-yeon quietly watched the Child’s face, listening to the sound of him breaking the sugar pieces on top of the cream with a teaspoon.
Then, suddenly, the Child leaned on Namgung Jeong-yeon’s shoulder.
Without realizing it, Namgung Jeong-yeon was so startled that he jumped. The chair scraped harshly against the floor and fell backward. There was no greater disaster than this. He had calmed his mind several times, telling himself not to have unnecessary thoughts, but it wasn’t easy. Looking down at the Child’s wide, black eyes, Namgung Jeong-yeon realized his mistake.
Feeling sorry for startling the Child, Namgung Jeong-yeon couldn’t say anything, but Rubel apologized first, drooping his eyebrows.
“Ah, sorry… I was just, well, comfortable.”
“…No, it’s alright. I was just spacing out for a moment.”
“…Sorry. I won’t do it again.”
Not do it again, what was he going to stop doing?
Namgung Jeong-yeon quickly righted the chair, afraid that he might shout without realizing it. He was relieved that no one was looking in, even though there had been a loud crash. Seeing the Child’s sullen face, Namgung Jeong-yeon felt sorry and reached out his hand.
As if telling him not to, Namgung Jeong-yeon gently stroked his eyebrows, and the Child blinked his long eyelashes again, looking pretty. Namgung Jeong-yeon brushed the stray hairs behind his ear, and he smiled shyly.
He had no idea how sinister Namgung Jeong-yeon was, and he wasn’t afraid at all.
It was fortunate that this Child was shy. If he acted this cute in front of just anyone, he would have been in big trouble a hundred times over.
“It’s alright. It was my fault this time.”
“…Okay. Then, can I… Still?
“…Not that.”
“…Not that either…?”
Namgung Jeong-yeon watched the Child stammer and bite his lip.
After pondering for a while, as if he was deep in thought, he smiled brightly and looked up. Namgung Jeong-yeon wished he would just be cute enough. He was in pain because he kept having difficult thoughts.
“Come to think of it, earlier… Didn’t you say you had something to tell me?”
“…That’s…”
Namgung Jeong-yeon… Namgung Jeong-yeon had been planning to meet the Child today and tell him to stop writing letters.
His desire to protect Rubel was still the same. It was true that he was worried when he couldn’t see the Child. But he was worried that he couldn’t study because he was so anxious and heartbroken all day over just one letter.
He was curious about how Rubel was doing, but he thought he could calm his mind by occasionally hearing about Rubel’s recent activities during class. He thought he could do that.
But looking at Rubel’s face, which was sparkling with anticipation as he blinked and looked at Namgung Jeong-yeon, how could he say such harsh words? Namgung Jeong-yeon let out a breath so that it wouldn’t sound like a sigh.
“…I just wanted to say that I was glad to see you after a long time.”
“…”
Even though it was obvious that Namgung Jeong-yeon wasn’t being honest, the Child, who answered kindly, was so pitiful and precious that Namgung Jeong-yeon was restless. The air he inhaled was cold, but the air he exhaled kept getting hotter, so he gulped down the cold tea.
Rubel sat quietly and well throughout. Namgung Jeong-yeon wondered if he should tell him to sit in front instead of next to him, but he stopped.