1 Meow Meow

“Isn’t that Cheon No-eul?”

What, Cheon No-eul? Kyung-soo lifted his head at the familiar name. But the ones whispering that name were female students he’d never seen before. The two, wearing uniforms from a nearby co-ed high school, glanced at each other while murmuring.

‘……Ah, no way. There’s no way they’d know Cheon No-eul. I must be acting too sensitive.’

Kyung-soo twitched his eyebrows and looked back down at his phone. But whether he browsed internet news or opened a popular mobile game, he just couldn’t focus. All day long, the three syllables ‘Cheon No-eul’ floated around in his head.

The ‘Cheon No-eul’ he knew wasn’t a person’s name. ‘Cheon No-eul’ was the nickname of a user famous for their terrible control in the MMORPG game , which he had started playing early the year before last.

Though somewhat different from that Cheon No-eul, Kyung-soo was also quite a famous figure within Illusion. His god-like game control skills played a part, but he was more famous for his in-game profession. He was practically the only Valkyrie on the server. Starting as an Explorer and walking a consistently weak path, the Valkyrie only truly shone after the 4th job advancement—a profession abandoned by all users because the process was too arduous and unfun.

Kyung-soo earned the title of pioneering that ‘Valkyrie,’ and at the request of the management, he even did a brief interview with his face hidden. That interview posted on the official website and videos of his actual gameplay spread even to external communities. Users who belatedly attempted the Valkyrie profession following his lead were greatly disappointed when they realized the damage seen in the official website videos wasn’t something just anyone could achieve.

Title: Valkyrie_Raising_Experience.txt

Author: African Youth/Valkyrie

Content: Valkyrie is a fucking ruined profession, so everyone raise one!!!! lololololol We need a 1 account 1 Valkyrie law introduced. It’s fucking unfair that only I suffer through this, so I hope everyone fails together^^

If you wanna talk shit, play it first you bastards, come out right now brl lololol Give me back the time I wasted because of you guys, I’m so fucking pissed^^

You fucker who implemented recoil damage with every attack, show yourself. I’ll stab you lololololol Is it real that potion costs are so insane even my main character is struggling with funds? Anyone here become a beggar because of Fuck-yrie? How bad is it? Without a pet to feed you potions, you use four legendary skills and die^^ Of course, even with a pet, the potion cooldown is long so you die lololololol^^ It looks really easy when you just see Meow Meow using it, but the control is fucking hard and….

Did you make this to be fucking used? Honestly, GM, you guys were so crazy about the new profession you just made it and released it without testing, right lolol? And then slapping a 3-star difficulty rating on this is truly shameless haha

Before job advancement, the Explorer skill tree is famous for being all trash. You’re so weak no one invites you to parties…ㅠ(Yeah, that’s my experience) But then you fucking advance, right? Then it’s not just trash but nuclear waste. Who said Valkyrie is strong? lolol Yeah, next up, fucking trash worthless profession~ It’s just that only that Valkyrie is strong. That bastard would’ve been more successful if he’d chosen another professionㅠ Why did he pick Valkyrie tsk tsk

Anyway, I’m off to delete my character bb

(30 comments have been posted.)

-For real, deleted?

└Yeah

-lol Isn’t it just that you suck?

└lololololShut up, if you try it for just one day you’ll know what I mean. Please try it, for real, you must try it^^

└Nah, not doing it. Bye

-A level 200 Valkyrie probably has less HP than a freshly 3rd job advanced Sword Master? Why choose the Explorer line instead of just raising a Warrior line lolol

└Didn’t know, you fucking bastard lololololol

└It’s a brag, you dumbass lol The base stats are on the official site.

└Yeah, you’re so great lol Would I have done it if I’d seen that??? I’m already pissed, so shut up.

Hearing roughly such reviews, eventually, Kyung-soo remained the only user who properly knew how to use the Valkyrie profession. As experiences were shared one by one, his fame grew even more intense. Naturally, the guild he belonged to, thanks to high-level users who joined solely because of Kyung-soo, entered the server’s top 5 guild rankings.

Cheon No-eul—Kyung-soo lifted his head again at the nickname heard from somewhere. This time, it was a male voice. Kyung-soo craned his neck and looked around. But there were only dating couples and students in uniforms, let alone the elementary school student he was waiting for.

Cheon No-eul, who was he?

Countless bastards clung to Kyung-soo’s side simply because he was a Named. This became even more pronounced after his interview video made the rounds. They had a few common traits: first, they didn’t belong to any guild. They seemed like novices who didn’t even know what a guild was. Second, they were impossible to reason with. Lastly, they were incredibly tenacious.

To get straight to the point, Cheon No-eul’s tenacity was on a whole different level from the others. His character was a level 82 Warrior class who had only completed the 1st job advancement, lacking proper equipment or weapons. His level was ambiguous to dismiss as ‘just a Playing Character,’ and he’d persistently follow Kyung-soo even into hunting grounds unsuitable for his level.

As soon as Kyung-soo logged into the game, no matter where he was, Cheon No-eul would pop up via warp portal and chatter all day long. Even if Kyung-soo tried to lose him by entering high-level hunting grounds, he’d stubbornly run alongside him. If he died in the process, he’d repeatedly use up the ‘Mark of Resurrection’ item. This allowed him to resurrect right where he died instead of at the nearest town.

The atrocities Cheon No-eul committed against Kyung-soo were countless. If Kyung-soo typed ‘s b’ in chat, it was a signal that Cheon No-eul had located his position. Cheon No-eul’s obsession was so notorious that guild members could tell it was a curse directed at him just by seeing the chat.

First off, Cheon No-eul was famous for offering a reward to the first person who reported Kyung-soo’s character location via server mic. Last time, a guild member, short on cash after an item broke during enhancement, sold out Kyung-soo’s location. Kyung-soo became famous on the server in a different sense. Some even snickered that finding Kyung-soo was a permanent in-game event.

Cheon No-eul, with his mediocre level and mediocre stats, far from thinking about leveling up, would even die failing to avoid even slow-moving monsters. Kyung-soo had always thought his classmate Tae-yeol was the worst at games, but after meeting Cheon No-eul, Tae-yeol was pushed to the backseat.

Cheon No-eul was the best. No one could match his skill. You could be sure of it when you saw him struggling, unable to handle a single level 60s slime, despite being a Warrior class—the profession with the highest HP—and having completed his 1st job advancement.

He’d even asked him once, “Why are you doing this to me?” whenever he kept luring monsters. But each time, Cheon No-eul would spout nonsense like, “I want to become friends. Is that not allowed?”No matter how harshly Kyung-soo brushed him off, far from being hurt, he’d swear loyalty, saying he’d fallen for Kyung-soo’s intensity all over again.”

Even if Kyung-soo initiated PVP and turned his character into mincemeat, Cheon No-eul would unwaveringly follow him around. Thanks to Cheon No-eul, Kyung-soo’s PVP win rate soared past 90%. Moreover, if Kyung-soo blocked his whispers, he’d create new characters like mushrooms after rain and send an insane amount of mail. Because of that, his mailbox once got full, blocking his use of the auction house.

Kyung-soo eventually unblocked Cheon No-eul and made him promise never to do this again. True to that promise, Cheon No-eul stopped creating other characters. Naturally, no whispers or mail came. That is, from other characters.

‘New mail has arrived. Please check your mailbox.’

[Received Mail]

Sender: Cheon No-eul

Title: ㅠㅠ

Content: Are you not logging in today??? When I whisper, it says the user doesn’t exist….

Attachment: Sticky Green Algae (Fishing item)

“Fucking bastard….”

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Another mail came from Cheon No-eul, this bastard, what do we do about this?

[Guild] Kongpatjwiji: lololololololololol

[Guild] ParkRoaches: C-h-k

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Don’t do it

[Guild] Ji9star: ★C-h-k★

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Don’t decorate it prettilyㅠ

[Guild] Ji9star: Cheon No-eul Bully.

[Guild] neutaaaa: Oh, simple, huh

[Guild] Ji9star: hehe

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: F1ckㅠ

Once it became known that Kyung-soo received love-letter-like mail from Cheon No-eul, his nickname within the guild became ‘Cheon No-eul Bully.’ Similarly, Cheon No-eul was also called ‘Cat Bully.’ By now, Kyung-soo had grown somewhat accustomed to Cheon No-eul automatically following his name.

There was an incident that made even this Kyung-soo decide to have a real-life fight with Cheon No-eul.

Cheon No-eul had scooped up an item that dropped only one per server. Moreover, only one per day.

[Server] User Cheon No-eul has acquired ‘Galaxy Sword’!

“……?”

When rare or event items dropped, the nickname of the user who acquired them would appear in the server chat window. Normally, Kyung-soo would have let it slide, but he read the words ‘Galaxy Sword’ several times and his hands trembled. He couldn’t continue speaking. The little slimes began attacking Kyung-soo’s motionless character. Cheon No-eul, who had been hopping around beside Kyung-soo where only ‘miss’ appeared, stopped for a moment, and a speech bubble floated above his head.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Gasp… I’m sorryㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I’ll give it back to you

Cheon No-eul’s character used a crying emoticon, covering its face with both hands. At the rich emotional expression, Kyung-soo slammed his palm down on the keyboard. Meaningless consonants were being spammed across the chat window at the bottom of the monitor.

The Galaxy Sword was an event item and couldn’t be traded. It was a single-use item only the owner could use, but the possibility of that bastard Cheon No-eul using it properly was almost zero. Without a word, as if guarding Kyung-soo’s frozen character, Cheon No-eul, while running around, got grazed by a high-level snail and died.

[Guild] Ji9star: Whoa, amazing, Gal Sword

[Guild] neutaaaa: Ugh, Gal Sword farming ends today,,, All that effort for nothingㅡㅡ

[Guild] Ji9star: But why, of all people, Cheon No-eul? lololololololololol Cat-nim? lololololololololol

“…….”

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Y

[Guild] WanduWandya: lolololololololololol You got it stolen, right? lolololololol

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Y;

[Guild] Ji9star: Fck lololololololololololol

[Guild] Ji9star: You’re holding the back of your neck right now, aren’t you? lolololololol

That was exactly right. Kyung-soo was glaring at Cheon No-eul’s character while clutching the back of his neck.

[Guild] WanduWandya: As expected… Very Cheon No-eul Bully-like^^ Did you… yield it?

Yield, my ass. Following that remark, other guild members spammed nothing but the consonant ‘lolololol.’

[Guild] Ji9star: ♡ Cheering for you, love of a thousand years ♡

Biting his lip, Kyung-soo pressed the keyboard firmly and sent an angry message in the guild chat.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Earthstar, come out

Then everyone got even more excited, and the guild chat started scrolling down even faster.

[Guild] WanduWandya: Fck lololololololol Ah, for real lololololㅠlololololololol

[Guild] Ji9star: Meow Meow is always like that only to meㅠㅅㅠ

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Cat-nim, you’ve been having items stolen a lot lately, but to have even Gal Sword taken…^^

[Guild] Ji9star: [Breaking News] Meet No-eul, who gives without holding back, even donates Galaxy Sword, becoming a hot topic….

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: F***

[Guild] WanduWandya: Fighting! It’ll drop againㅠㅠ TdtDtd

[Guild] Ji9star: Hmm lol And what if it gets stolen by Cheon No-eul again?

[Guild] neutaaaa: lolololololololololol

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Earthstar, come out

[Guild] Ji9star: lolololololololSrySry

[Guild] WanduWandya: I’m such a happy guy… No matter how abysmal the Gal Sword drop rate is, at least I didn’t get it stolen! Fighting!

[Guild] Ji9star: Wandu-nim, you just got f1cked by Cat-nim lolololol

‘User Cheon No-eul has requested a trade.’

Cheon No-eul, revived after using the Mark of Resurrection item, requested a one-on-one trade with Kyung-soo. But an item that couldn’t be traded from the start couldn’t possibly be moved to the trade window. Kyung-soo watched him for a moment, expressing confusion with ‘Huh, why isn’t it working?ㅠㅠ’ and then, for the first time in a while, initiated PVP. In less than 3 seconds, Cheon No-eul accepted the PVP request.

LOADING….

After a short loading screen, the two characters from the hunting ground were suddenly moved to a combat map for just the two of them. The text ‘8:00’ appeared at the top of the map. During those 8 minutes, Kyung-soo could shoot Cheon No-eul with his Bazooka and slice him to death over and over. Within the PVP system, levels and stats were roughly balanced, so if Cheon No-eul had decent items or control, he could’ve beaten Kyung-soo anytime. But Cheon No-eul was a renowned terrible control user.

He used the Valkyrie passive skill ‘Pull’ to grab Cheon No-eul, who was hopping around and displaying strange consonants above his head, then blew his head off with the Bazooka. Those who called Valkyrie a trash profession were just those who didn’t know how to use its passive skills properly. They were talking without knowing that if used well, it could potentially be stronger than Blaze, the server’s #1 profession.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

Every time damage numbers appeared, Cheon No-eul’s waist would bend, unable to resist, and soon he collapsed flat on the ground. Kyung-soo achieved 1 kill in less than 10 seconds after starting, and for the full 8 minutes, he ignored whatever Cheon No-eul said and focused solely on turning him into mincemeat.

The number at the top changed to ‘1:00’ and turned red. In that short time, Cheon No-eul helplessly died and revived 18 times. It was a record high. Kyung-soo now stopped grinding Cheon No-eul and placed his hands on the keyboard. He typed as if pounding the keyboard, still not fully vented his anger.

[Server] Catmeowmeow: Cheon No-eul, you f/ucking bas/tard, let’s have a real-life fight this time lololol Give me your number

Kyung-soo pressed enter with bravado, then waited, fuming, for Cheon No-eul to apologize for his wrongdoing. But just seconds later, Kyung-soo’s eyes widened. Unless I’m seeing things wrong….

“Ah, fuck! Fuck! Shit! Argh!”

Kyung-soo’s words weren’t a whisper but spread widely across the server. Unfortunately, because a few server mics remained, he had effectively declared war on the entire server.

[Guild] WanduWandya: Ah lololololololol That… via server mic…? lolololololololol Dude, you’re really not easy, scary as hell lolololololㅠ

[Guild] neutaaaa: Real-life fight lolololololololololol

[Guild] Ji9star: [Breaking News] Cheon No-eul Bully requests real-life fight with Cheon No-eul (f/ucking bas/tard)!

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Ah fck;;

[Guild] neutaaaa: lolololololololololololololFucking real-life fight lololololol

[Guild] WanduWandya: Shaking….

[Guild] Ji9star: [Exclusive] Meet the online school bully Catmeowmeow!

[Guild] neutaaaa: Online school bully lololololololololol

[Guild] WanduWandya: But if Cheon No-eul says okay, are you really having a real-life fight?

Kyung-soo felt wronged. He’d just said it out of anger; he had absolutely, completely, not even a speck of intention to actually have a real-life fight. Though Kyung-soo had hopped from this game to that since elementary school, this was truly the first time he’d ever requested a real-life fight in a game.

[Server] Cheon No-eul: 010-xxxx-xxxx

“……?”

That was when it happened. Cheon No-eul, equally using server mic, simply sent just the number. He sent his personal number in a chat visible to all users on the server. Kyung-soo’s mind froze, no thoughts coming through. Because he never thought he’d actually give it when told to.

A silence fell upon the guild chat as well. The temporarily frozen chat window soon became chaotic. The chat scrolled down at an extremely fast pace.

[Guild] Ji9star: Wow, fck, look at that audacity… Amazing, for real, he actually gave his number;;;;

[Guild] Ji9star: Is that really his number?

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Sh-sh…;

[Guild] Ji9star: Cat-nim, please just call that number once to check if it’s really Cheon No-eul, pleaseㅠㅠ

[Guild] neutaaaa: Honey, do it yourself-ㅅ-

[Guild] Ji9star: Eugh

[Guild] WanduWandya: But are you really meeting? lololololol I wanna go watchㅠ But next week seems like overtime againㅠ Manager Park, go d1e

[Guild] Ji9star: [Breaking News] Manager Park is very healthy….

[Guild] WanduWandya: …?

[Guild] neutaaaa: Ah, I’m the only one without Manager Park. Sweetpea, I envy you.ㅠ

[Guild] WanduWandya: Is this a request for a real-life fight….

[Guild] Ji9star: Kekekekeke

Before his number was buried in the numerous guild chats, Kyung-soo first tapped in the number Cheon No-eul had sent on his phone’s keypad. At that moment, the PVP time ended, and the victory window popped up. The two characters were dropped back into the hunting ground.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Hehehe, where should I go? When should we meet?

“What is this guy…”

He really wants to meet? Flustered, Kyung-soo hesitated, unable to send the ‘??’ he had typed in the chat window.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: But, can I call you ‘hyung’ now?

From the moment they first met, Cheon No-eul had wanted to call Kyung-soo ‘hyung’. It wasn’t the first time he had asked to meet up either. Of course, Kyung-soo hadn’t allowed it.

Kyung-soo didn’t even use informal speech with guild members he had known for years. Although it was largely ignored, the guild rules prohibited ‘fraternization’. So, it didn’t make sense for Cheon No-eul to drop honorifics. Judging by his obsession with the word ‘hyung’, he must be an elementary schooler. Come to think of it, he often misunderstood what was said and lacked tact. It was possible if he was an elementary school student.

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: No;

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Okayㅠㅠ

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: I have a lot of time, when should we meet? ㅇㅅㅇ

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: But how old are you? 3rd grade?

If someone in 3rd grade was his ‘hyung’, he really was a kid. Even lower grades? Kyung-soo realized that he had been seriously worked up over a baby who was probably in 1st or 2nd grade, and his mind went blank.

[Guild] Ji9star: How old is Cheon No-eul? It would be hilarious if he turned out to be an elementary schooler, kekekeke.

Kyung-soo, who was about to experience that hilarious situation, couldn’t laugh.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: I’m getting a lot of texts right now, is this Cat-nim?ㅠㅠ

Since he had broadcasted his number on the server microphone and Cheon No-eul was a somewhat Named player, it was understandable. Kyung-soo felt sympathy for him. …Was it too much since he’s an elementary schooler? Was I being too childish? …The Galaxy Sword might drop if I farm all day again tomorrow. Thinking that way, his heart softened a little.

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: Don’t reply to the texts, it’s not me.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Okay!

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: That real-life fight…

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Yes haha

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: I sent it by mistake; Don’t worry, I have no intention of meeting you^^

Then, instead of sending ‘Okay!”‘ with his fast typing, Cheon No-eul was silent for a moment. He was probably relieved and wiping his chest, thinking it was a close call?

[Guild] WanduWandya: This shitty game should die~ The content is really nonexistent.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Agreed

[Guild] WanduWandya: Even if it’s a limited item, how can only one drop per day, seriously, keke; This event is really terribly balanced, and it’s not even fun^^

The guild member who said there was no worthwhile content was a heavy gamer who stuck to the game whenever he had free time, with a guild contribution rate exceeding 10%.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: That’s how bad games are. So boring.

And that was the same for Kyung-soo. The two gamers, who had practically devoured all the game content, had lost their objectivity. And they bit, tore, and chewed at the GM who didn’t provide more content to enjoy.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Relieved? Me? Kekeke

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Who were you trying to send it to besides me??

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Is someone bothering you? Who is it?

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: So you’re going to have a real-life fight with them too, keke?

Cheon No-eul spoke without using his frequently used emoticons. If he had to pick someone who was bothering him, it would be Cheon No-eul, and Cheon No-eul was an elementary schooler. He’s an idiot for even bothering with him. Kyung-soo admired his own magnanimity and was reading the constantly updating guild chat when his expression suddenly hardened.

[Guild] WanduWandya: Ah, right, kekeke, about that Galaxy Sword that dropped the day before yesterday

[Guild] neutaaaa: Ah, the one that the Snake Clan picked up? I saw it next to him, kekeke. He was so happy that he was throwing money around, kekeke.

[Guild] Ji9star: So did you pick up the money?

[Guild] neutaaaa: Yeah, 1000 Bell.

[Guild] Ji9star: 1000 Bell, keke. Not even enough to blow your nose….

[Guild] WanduWandya: Kekeke, anyway, he was swinging it around and broke a rock in the forest area, and a legendary pet adoption ticket came out, kekeke.

[Guild] Ji9star: Wow

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: ?

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Wow, it actually drops

[Guild] KongPatzzi: Gasp;;

Kyung-soo, blinded by item greed, felt his vision blur.

“What…? A legendary pet…? How much is that going for?”

[Guild] Ji9star: It’s worth whatever someone’s willing to pay, it’s amazing… They wouldn’t sell it for 3 billion before because there weren’t any on the marketㅠ

“…….”

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Cat-nim, why aren’t you saying anything? I’m asking if someone’s bothering you?ㅇㅅㅇ

Cheon No-eul equipped the Galaxy Sword, the event item he had picked up earlier, and swung it wildly at Kyung-soo’s character.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Just tell me the nickname of the person bothering Cat-nim!T_T

That bastard has that precious thing! A legendary pet comes out of the Galaxy Sword? He’s telling me that item was taken by that guy who barely did his first job advancement?

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Ah, shit… My Galaxy Sword

[Guild] WanduWandya: Said the Cheon No-eul stan who’s gone crazy for the legendary pet

[Guild] Ji9star: It’s Cheon No-eul’s Galaxy Sword now! Hehe

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: ?

[Guild] Ji9star: Sorry sorry

[Guild] neutaaaa: Kekekekekeke

[Guild] WanduWandya: Kekekekekeke

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Ah…ah…ah…ah…ah

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: That’s mine, you jerk!!!!!!

Kyung-soo lost his senses. Elementary schooler or whatever, he had to meet him right away and beat it into him not to follow him anymore. That way, he wouldn’t have his items stolen next time, whether it was a Galaxy Sword or anything else. If he still followed him after the real-life fight… he decided to think about it then. The magnanimous heart he had been trying to have changed as easily as flipping his hand.

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: Where do you live, kekeke?

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Hheo

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Gasp, amazing, I’m at Lulu PC Cafe right nowㅠㅠ

At those words, Cheon No-eul excitedly told him the neighborhood he lived in and the station closest to his house. Surprisingly, it was less than a 20-minute walk away.

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: Kekeke, keep your neck clean.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Yes!O_O!!!!!

And so, they ended up making plans to meet in front of the movie theater this Friday.

But why isn’t he here yet?

Kyung-soo tapped his foot nervously and slowly scrutinized the people around him one by one. A couple in uniforms from a neighboring school, a middle-aged couple with a suspicious affair-like atmosphere, a movie theater employee listlessly cleaning the floor, and a fat man who looked like he would finish his popcorn before the movie started. And… what’s up with that guy?

Some guy was staring intently at his phone, filming a movie by himself. Even from a distance, the fairly handsome guy was leaning against the wall, acting like he was carrying all the seriousness in the world on his shoulders. With his light hair color that looked like he had dyed it, everyone passing by glanced at him once before moving on.

…What is he, a delinquent? The uniform the guy was wearing was from a high school famous for its strict rules. With that hair color at that school, it was obvious.

“What’s Cheon No-eul doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

Hearing the name again, Kyung-soo thought that the Illusion nickname ‘Cheon No-eul’ might not just be a nickname but his real name. Kyung-soo followed the gaze of the female students who had said Cheon No-eul’s name. Then, the man with a serious expression came into view. The man looked around as if searching for someone, then looked disappointed and buried his eyes back in his phone with a dejected expression.

“…….”

No way. Kyung-soo trembled his eyes and added ’23#’ in front of Cheon No-eul’s phone number before calling. That way, his caller ID wouldn’t show up on the other person’s phone, so he wouldn’t be caught calling.

-He, hello?

“…….”

Kyung-soo hid behind a pillar and put on a serious face. Cheon No-eul answered the phone. And every time the pretty guy in front of him moved his lips, a pleasant baritone voice flowed from the receiver. Cheon No-eul… was his real name.

-Are you perhaps Cat-nim?

“You, you have the wrong number.”

-Are you Cat-nim? Have you arrived?

“No!”

Flustered, Kyung-soo hung up the phone abruptly. His vision blurred. He didn’t want to believe it. That guy wasn’t an elementary schooler? He’s a high schooler? This is really absurd! Cheon No-eul looked around and shouted, ‘Meow! Meow!’ Then, the girls who had been whispering Cheon No-eul’s name earlier looked at each other, covered their mouths, and made a fuss, saying he was crazy.

“What, did Cheon No-eul just say ‘meow’? Am I the only one who heard it?”

“A cat? So cute….”

What? Cute?

The two female students covered their mouths and started getting excited, exclaiming, ‘What do I do, what do I do’.

“Cute my ass, what’s cute about that? Isn’t he crazy?”

Kyung-soo, who was hearing a man say ‘meow’ in real life for the first time, felt goosebumps all over his body. It was disgusting. Even if that’s his nickname, how can he say it so casually outside? The guild members now called the nickname ‘Catmeowmeow’, which he had made up on a whim, ‘Cheon No-eul stan’, so it had been quite a while since he had been called ‘meow’. And it was absolutely terrible.

Kyung-soo, who had been planning to smack the head of an elementary schooler, completely lost his will to fight when a suddenly grown-up guy appeared. What should he do? He was supposed to meet him here….

“But he’s been like that for an hour. I didn’t think he’d still be like that. Should I just go ask him who he’s waiting for?”

“Um, ask him if you’re curious.”

“Me, me? I’m not close to him?”

He had been waiting for an hour? Kyung-soo looked down at the clock on his phone. It hadn’t even been 10 minutes past the appointment time. An hour… he had been waiting for me?

“…….”

After hesitating for a moment, Kyung-soo searched for how to have a real-life fight.

‘Hello? I’m answering your question, keke. I’m the one who used to be called the Fist of Jorye-dong, so you can trust what I say, keke. First of all, a real-life fight is a real-life PK. PK means Player Kill. Player Kill means killing the opponent…^^ And the way to have a real-life fight with a bastard who’s acting like a dick in the game is very simple. Just do as I tell you^^’

Kyung-soo, who had found a plausible answer among the many useless posts, scrolled down the screen with his finger.

‘First of all, prepare about 5 friends, keke. Bastards who act like dicks in the game don’t have friends, so they’re like that. You’ll be overwhelmed first by your popularity, which has not one but five friends, keke. The door to victory is already wide open and smiling at you.^^’

Something… was strange.

‘Still, if the opponent glares at you like crazy, clench your fist. If you hold an eraser or a pebble, your fist will become stronger, so a one-punch one-tooth knockout will be possible, keke.’

“…….”

‘And mobilize your friends to beat the opponent like crazy. If you hit their nose first, they won’t be able to do anything. It’s even better if they bleed from the nose^^ PVP in the game is one-on-one, but that doesn’t matter in real life, keke. The side with more people is more advantageous, hehe. The goal is between the legs… kick their crotch (I’m being too cruel even as I write this…ㅠ). Then, if they’re a man, their head will spin?? If they’re a woman, I’m sorry… I’ve never fought with a woman (I’m a gentleman, you see, hehe). At that time, grab their collar and say it powerfully.

.

.

“Hey, you… play the game right. -_-v”

.

.

Kya… GAME… OVER…!

For reference, this is my experience from having a real-life fight with 40 vs 1 back in the day. I was the 1;;; That day, a bloody storm blew through the whole neighborhood because of me -_-;; Then, please choose my answer.

2004.01.27.’

“…….”

No wonder the answer was like this, it was a post from the 2000s. Kyung-soo was still missing his front teeth back then. Real-life PK is something that people who have done it do, it was impossible for Kyung-soo, who had never even been to an offline gathering. If Cheon No-eul said ‘meow meow’ out loud one more time, he might bite his tongue and die on the spot. He would really die. That was 100% genuine without a single joke added.

…Let’s just go home. Just as he was turning around with a short sigh, that was when it happened. Kyung-soo, who had bumped into a strange pillar, stiffly raised his head.

“Cat-nim.”

“…….”

“Meow Meow?”

Cheon No-eul tilted his head and said brightly. I want to die. Kyung-soo reflexively bit his tongue hard. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to die.

「Ji9star: What happened to Cat-nim? It was today, right???」

「Ji9star: Did you meet Cheon No-eul?」

A guild member asked about today’s events in the guild chat room. As soon as he saw the words ‘Cat-nim’, goosebumps rose all over his body again.

「Me: Ah, right, I forgot….」

Kyung-soo lied without realizing it.

「Ji9star: So boringㅠ I can’t write breaking news if you do this;」

「Me: Am I just a piece of breaking news?”Ji9star: So disappointed… I’ve been looking forward to it since last year because it’s time to change the announcement… Why did you forget, so boring…”

“neutaaaa: Hahaha last year hahaha”

“WanduWandya: So boring 222 Do you know how much I was looking forward to it since this morning?””No wonder Manager Park was passing on work, had bad breath, and was acting like a jerk.”
“Ji9star: Manager Park is always like that, haha.”
“WanduWandya: That’s true, but if I had known this would happen, I would have spat on that guy’s face.”
“Ji9star: It’s not too late, do it now.”
“WanduWandya: I haven’t won the lottery yet, haha.” Can’t do it」

「Ji9star: Oh, I see. You’ll never be able to spit, then….」

「WanduWandya: What are you talking about? I’m winning the lottery this week, so I’m collecting spit in advance」

「Ji9star: What are you saying, just swallow it」

「neutaaaa: It’s so disappointing that you forgot….」

He didn’t forget. I was excited and went out too. …But because I felt a physiological aversion, my fist went out first. As soon as the thud sound rang out, the people around all turned to look at the source of the sound. Kyung-soo just timidly shouted, ‘I mistook him for someone else!’ and ran away. After punching Cheon No-eul down. His fist was still tingling. Cheon No-eul’s face, which had been punched, must be swollen by now.

He received an offer to come in because he had to get weapons for Ji9star’s Sub Character in the evening, but Kyung-soo pretended to be busy and didn’t log into the game.

Yeah. It’s time for me to quit the game too. A year is a long time. I have to quit this shitty game that doesn’t help my life at all!

Kyung-soo decided to become a diligent student from tomorrow.

‘Catmeowmeow has logged into the game.’

[Guild] neutaaaa: ??

[Guild] Ji9star: ???

[Guild] Ji9star: I thought you said you couldn’t log in today???

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Kekeke, I’m done with everything I was busy with, hehe.

It was a lie. There was nothing busy to begin with. Kyung-soo sighed, blaming himself for being weak to impulses.

‘Ji9star has invited you to a party. Do you accept?’

It hadn’t even been two hours since he had made his decision. Besides, he had even bought and equipped a limited-time item that increased the ‘item acquisition rate’, so he couldn’t waste it for a whole day. It was definitely not an excuse. Anyway, he had to get the Galaxy Sword by the event’s end date, which was two weeks away.

“Cheon No-eul, you son of a bitch….”

Kyung-soo used the warp portal to move to another map, avoiding the people who had witnessed him.

[Global] Hamster: Ah!! No!

Three seconds after Kyung-soo disappeared, Cheon No-eul’s character appeared in that spot. Cheon No-eul went back and forth once to the left and right, then stood tall in the spot where he had first appeared.

[Global] Hamster: He was here until just now;

[Global] Cheon No-eul: He’s not here now;

[Global] Hamster: How can that be? I’m telling you he just disappeared?

[Global] Cheon No-eul: ;;;;Okay bye~!

With a white flurry of light, Cheon No-eul’s character also disappeared. Cheon No-eul, who had missed Kyung-soo by a hair’s breadth, was planning to go through all the maps again to find Kyung-soo. Today’s game of tag had begun.

*

[Guild] Ji9star: Cat-nim, I only need to get the gauntlets and cloak now?? Come quickly

[Guild] neutaaaa: You got the gauntlets earlier;

[Guild] Ji9star: I sold it because the durability is trash and it has no options lol

[Guild] neutaaaa: ?

[Guild] neutaaaa: Ah, no wonder a cloak dropped earlier shit

[Guild] Ji9star: It. Needs. To. Have. Options!

[Guild] neutaaaa: So annoyingㅠ

Ji9star was particularly obsessed with movement speed options. He was the type who enjoyed zipping around like a rat. It seemed he was going to do the same with his sub-character.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: I don’t think I can finish it today….

[Guild] Ji9star: Hang in there, Meow Meow! You can do it><

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Shit

Hearing “Meow Meow” reminded Kyung-soo of Cheon No-eul. When Kyung-soo cursed, Ji9star laughed and asked if he had already figured out Cheon No-eul’s location. Kyung-soo replied ‘nope’ and checked the item shop. Eye shape random change ticket, hairstyle change ticket, skin color change ticket, pet lifespan renewal ticket….

“Fucking ruined game….”

They had everything, but there was no item to change your nickname. He would’ve been willing to pay five thousand won, even ten thousand won…. This game has no will to make money. Do they not think there are more people like me?

Kyung-soo no longer wanted to live with a “Meow…whatever” nickname. The terrible moment when Cheon No-eul called out “Meow Meow” in that soft voice resurfaced, and Kyung-soo ruffled his hair wildly.

[Guild] Ji9star: Cat-nim

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Don’t call me Meow

[Guild] Ji9star: ??

[Guild] Ji9star: ??????????

After spamming question marks for a while, Ji9star asked again.

[Guild] Ji9star: Where’s Cheon No-eul-kkal-nim?

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: In front of Lethe Tower, I’ll be there soon

The gauge was filling up. Soon, he would be moved to the party dungeon entrance. A few seconds later, a loading screen with full illustrations appeared, preparing to move the map.

[Guild] Ji9star: Ah…… So you want us to call you Cheon No-eul-kkal instead of Cat-nim…?

“…Ah.”

That wasn’t what I meant.

[Guild] neutaaaa: I’m screenshotting this lol

[Guild] Ji9star: Breaking news lol! Poseidon’s first official (real) couple is born!

[Guild] neutaaaa: Lololololololololol

His phone screen lit up. A photo had been posted in the guild chat. The chat notice had been changed to the photo. Kyung-soo had now reached a state of enlightenment. It seemed like he wouldn’t mind whatever others called him, as long as it wasn’t “Meow.”

*

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Cat-nim, you’ve been hiding really well today! So cute! “Crazy.”…”

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: You’ve already joined a party?ㅇㅅㅠ

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: But why did you pretend not to see me earlier?T_T

Kyung-soo rolled his eyes. And deliberately didn’t respond. Whether Cheon No-eul had sent mail or not, the mailbox in the upper right corner was blinking. It meant he should go to a nearby town and check the mailbox.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Cat-nim?

‘Cat-nim, Cat-nim, Meow, Meow Meow, Meow Meow….’ Remembering Cheon No-eul laughing with mischievously narrowed eyes, Kyung-soo shuddered briefly right where he sat.

“Ah, fuck, that’s creepy….”

Kyung-soo shuddered and vigorously scratched his arm where goosebumps had risen. It felt like he could still hear that voice clearly in his ear.

Kyung-soo tried hard not to look at the messages Cheon No-eul was sending, using his hook to pull in the yetis in front of him and blowing them up with his bazooka. Ji9star’s sub-character was busy picking up and checking items dropped from the yetis.

[Server] Cheon No-eul: I’ll give 300 million just for today to anyone who reports <>>’s location. Instant deposit possible, I’ll send it right to your mail~!

“……”

Since it was a time-attack dungeon, clearing it quickly was key, but the guild members who had entered the dungeon all simultaneously stopped moving. Only the yetis and seal monsters continued moving back and forth along their predetermined paths.

[Party] Ji9star: I was seriously tempted just now…; He knows how to do business;

[Party] ParkRoaches: Lmaoooooooo I came to my senses after clicking your name

[Party] Ji9star: If we had 300 million, we wouldn’t have to suffer like this… Can’t we just sell Cat-nim’s name once???

He remembered the guild member who had sold him out before. Although that person had quit the game now and he didn’t know what they were doing, that guy had ultimately succeeded in enhancing his weapon to +9 with the money he got from selling Kyung-soo.

[Party] Catmeowmeow: Sorry, but are you out of your mind?

[Party] Ji9star: Let’s just deal with him for one more day! Deal?

[Party] Catmeowmeow: Sorry, but are you crazy?

[Party] neutaaaa: T_T That’s neither informal nor formal speech….

[Party] Ji9star: It’s a bad example of semi-formal speech lololololololololol

[Party] Ji9star: If we get the 300 million, I’ll give Cat-nim 100 million. Deal? lol

[Party] Catmeowmeow: I’ll give you 1 billion if you take Cheon No-eul away

[Party] Ji9star: That’s a bit…

[Party] Catmeowmeow: ?

[Party] Ji9star: I’m not the type to covet what belongs to others… Right, honey?

[Party] neutaaaa: That’s right, my honey isn’t really greedy

[Party] Ji9star: It’s because I’m Buddhist lol

[Party] Catmeowmeow: ???Since when?

[Party] Ji9star: Since today lol

[Party] Ji9star: Do you know about non-possession?

[Party] Catmeowmeow: Ugh

Annoying. Kyung-soo, who had diligently responded to the nonsense, used his class skill to pull all the yetis in the map and blow them up at once. Then item bundles came raining down.

[Party] ParkRoaches: Valkyrie wow

[Party] ParkRoaches: Should I try Valkyrie too later?

[Party] Catmeowmeow: Yes, when are you planning to do it?Haha

[Party] Ji9star: Crazy

[Party] ParkRoaches: Wow

[Party] neutaaaa: Have you ever seen a Valkyrie in the field, Roaches-nim?

[Party] ParkRoaches: No

[Party] neutaaaa: See? If you only see what the person does, isn’t the answer obvious? Just focus on raising your healer properly

[Party] ParkRoaches: Ok ok;;

The corner of Kyung-soo’s mouth twitched upward. Are you saying I’m good at this again today? No matter how many times I hear it, compliments always feel good.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Cat-nim!!

It was Cheon No-eul. The raised corner of his mouth quickly returned to its original position.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: ㅠㅠMy leg got broken because Cat-nim kicked me….

“……?”

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: They said it’ll take 18 weeks to recoverㅠㅠ What should I doㅠㅠ

Kyung-soo, who had been feeling smug about the praise, read Cheon No-eul’s words and was left speechless. It seemed like he was trying to frame him. Although he had punched him in the face, he swore he never touched that bastard’s leg.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: I’m being taken away in an ambulance nowㅠㅠ

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: Huh??

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Should I get a medical certificate for you when I come back?After 18 weeksㅠㅠ

Kyung-soo’s eyes widened round. He soon lost his reason and crossed a river he shouldn’t have crossed.

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: Don’t lie; I never kicked you. Why would your leg be broken when I hit your face?

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Ah, rightㅎㅎ

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: That’s what happened

That image of his eyes curving came to mind. It was a face he had only seen briefly, but for some reason it seemed deeply engraved in his memory.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Cat-nim, why did you just leave earlier?

“……”

His heart sank. Feeling like he had dug his own grave, he was at a loss for words. After thinking for a moment, Kyung-soo turned off the power strip with his toe.

「Ji9star: Omg Merge-nim, did you get disconnected?」

Perhaps surprised by Kyung-soo suddenly leaving the game, a guild member sent a message. Kyung-soo sent a message complaining that his studio had lost power and plopped down on the floor. The school uniform Cheon No-eul was wearing was from a school so close it would only take a few minutes to walk from Kyung-soo’s school. It was only a matter of time before he came looking. Kyung-soo was also wearing his uniform at that time.

“Fuck, what do I do….”

It seemed like Cheon No-eul would see his uniform and come to his school. That bastard was capable of such a thing.

*

“Kim Kyung-soo. Why do you keep looking outside since earlier, is there something there?”

“Would there be? I just want to go home.”

“Bullshit, it’s still lunchtime….”

“I wanted to go home since zero period.”

“Ah… I know that feeling.”

…Eh, would he really come? Even if he’s a weird guy, probably not. With that thought, Kyung-soo spent the whole day peeking at the school gate visible outside the window.

“But what about that fight you were supposed to have?”

“……”

I shouldn’t have told that bastard.

“Idiot. Did you lose to an elementary school kid?”

Tae-yeol sneered at Kyung-soo, his eyebrows arched in a figure eight. Kyung-soo let out a small sigh. I thought he was an elementary school kid too, but he wasn’t….

“…Of course I won, you bastard.”

“You won?”

Tae-yeol asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Yep.”

“That’s something to brag about.”

“……”

“So you really fought? With an elementary school kid. What were you doing fighting a kid who hasn’t even lived half your life. Hey guys, Kim Kyung-soo fought an elementary school kid!”

“Elementary school kid?”

“Trash bastard… So did you win?”

“Why do you even live?”

“Fuck no! He wasn’t that young?!”

“Act your age.”

Tae-yeol, his classmate, clicked his tongue and flopped face down on the desk. Then he started fiddling with his phone and giggling. Kyung-soo felt so unfairly treated. Cheon No-eul wasn’t an elementary school student, and strictly speaking, it was true that he had won. Although it was in a daze, it was Kyung-soo who had punched Cheon No-eul once and run away.

Fortunately, Cheon No-eul didn’t appear in front of the school until dismissal time. Worried that he might be easily spotted in his uniform, Kyung-soo went home in his gym clothes and got caught by the student council, receiving penalty points. He had been sure Cheon No-eul would be waiting, but since he wasn’t there, he felt completely deflated. Kyung-soo crumpled the penalty card in his pocket and trudged home.

If you subtract the time he slept during class after eating, it meant he had spent almost the entire day thinking about Cheon No-eul.

*

[Guild] Ji9star: Breaking news breaking news

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Yeah what is it

[Guild] Ji9star: [Breaking News] Lolololololol I heard Ruin and Failure Whatever joined hands lolololololol

[Guild] neutaaaa: Failure??

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Fail…whatever guild exists

[Guild] neutaaaa: They’re so unknown I thought they were new

Though they talked like that, the “Failure is the Mother of Success” guild was actually within the top 30 guilds.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: FailRuin lolololololol No, what are they going to do by forming an alliance among themselves? Lolololololololol

[Guild] Ji9star: Their name combination is fucking hilarious lololololololol Birds of a feather…^^

[Guild] al0ha: So disgusting… They’ll probably form an alliance and go around power-leveling togetherㅠ

[Guild] Ji9star: They took Isis again, probably going to cause trouble lolololololol

[Guild] neutaaaa: Actually, we were the ones who took Isis….

Kyung-soo’s guild, Poseidon, didn’t have good relations with the Ruin guild. If you’re alone and Ruin guild members gather around you, psychological warfare begins. When they found a lone Poseidon guild member, they would openly mock and ridicule them in all chat. If the lone guild member moved elsewhere, they would even snipe them with server mics.

[Server] Paewang1: Channel 3 Isis has been acquired by <> lol~

[Server] Transparent Human: ◆Ruin◆ recruiting guild members. Condition: Not Poseidon~ Accepting even level 1.

[Guild] al0ha: How much member turnover do they even have? They’re always recruiting; Even if I make a sub-character and go, they probably wouldn’t know….

Here we go again, these idiots. Kyung-soo laughed at the people punching the air and laid down auto-generating hook seeds throughout the map. It was a good skill to set up and then go do something else for a while.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: I’m going to eat and will be back

[Guild] Ji9star: Ok

Leaving behind the guild members’ farewells, Kyung-soo boiled one packet of ramen. While the water was boiling, he checked his backlogged messages and was pouring in the powder soup when a new message arrived in the guild chat.

「Ji9star: Cat-nim, something big happened, please come quickly」

As he was about to swipe away the pop-up window, Kyung-soo, impressed by the urgency conveyed through the lack of spaces, slowly got up from his chair.

In the middle of the blue hunting ground, lined up next to Kyung-soo’s character standing stupidly were guild members surrounded by flashy dark effects. And across from them, the Ruin and Failure members were displaying ‘lololol’ text above their heads. Looking through the chat history, Kyung-soo could roughly grasp how the situation had developed.

Ruin, whose hobby is punching the air, saw him while passing by and picked a fight. When Kyung-soo didn’t respond, they called all their online guild members and started badmouthing someone who wasn’t even there, and even applied debuffs to interfere with his item farming. There were six debuffs applied to him under the skill window.

If Kyung-soo had passed by unaware like this, it was clear that malicious screenshots with titles like “The Truth About Valkyrie Ranker’s DPS” would have been posted on the website. And the one who reported Kyung-soo being beaten one-sidedly was….

[Global] Cheon No-eul: Ah shit lag

It was Cheon No-eul. Slipping inconspicuously among the Poseidon guild members was Cheon No-eul, without any sparkling effects. With all these users sporting various flashy effects gathered in one place, lag was inevitable.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: ??Lolololol No… What did I…

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Ah why are you only coming nowㅠ

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: I haven’t even eaten yetㅠㅠ

[Guild] Ji9star: Nim, which is more important? Food or the guild?

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Food

‘Catmeowmeow-nim has been demoted to Regular Guild Member.’

Startled by that, when he checked the guild window, the sub-guild master was online.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: The guild is obviously more important…^^7

[Guild] Halloween Eggplant: Be careful, you surprised me^^

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Hehe^^7….

‘Catmeowmeow-nim has been promoted to Elite Guild Member.’

He had only been away for about 5 minutes. Blub blub, the sound of water boiling in the pot could be heard. Kyung-soo quickly ran over, put the half-broken noodles in the water, then ran back to the computer and placed his hands on the keyboard.

[Global] Catmeowmeow: What do you want

With this many people, even if Galaxy Sword dropped, the possibility of it being stolen increased. Having Cheon No-eul steal GalSword once was more than enough.

[Global] Iove: Your speech is fucking trash too lololol

“Who is this guy….”

[Global] Iove: Is that what your DPS is like? lololololol Why is someone like this a ranker?

[Global] ParkRoaches: What do you think? Because they’re stronger than you lololololol Fake Love

[Global] Iove: Fake Roach

[Global] Ji9star: Fake BaQue lolololololololol

[Global] Ji9star: Fake Roach says shut the fuck up lolololololololololol

[Global] ParkRoaches: ?? Nim, why are you taking that bastard’s side?

[Global] Ji9star: Fake BaQue lolololololololol So funny lolololololololololol

[Global] Iove: hehe

[Global] Ji9star: I didn’t say it to make you feel proud, why are you breaking it? D D

[Global] ParkRoaches: Whose side are you even on….

This was the first time he’d seen a user picking a fight over DPS in the game. Above that user’s head was written the guild name “Failure is the Mother of Success.” Whether it was because they were excited about forming a guild alliance, they had picked a fight after seeing the guild name floating above Kyung-soo’s head, even though they were meeting for the first time.

[Global] Cheon No-eul: You’re not even an elementary school kid, stop picking fights over this trash and get lost.

[Global] Iove: Old man bastard ~ㅇㅅㅇ~ Dance dance ㅗ~^ㅅ^~ㅗ

[Global] Ji9star: Ew, so childish….

[Global] ParkRoaches: Judging by your speech, you’re an elementary school kid

[Global] Iove: Bastards, no I’m not?;;

[Global] al0ha: LolololololAnimeGirlDance~?

Then, whether due to lag or not, Cheon No-eul, who hadn’t chatted for a while, spoke up.

[Global] Cheon No-eul: Picking fights with someone just standing there for no reason seems more like a bastard thing to do.

[Guild] Ji9star: Lololol He’s right, but when he says it, it’s really funny right? lolololololol

At Cheon No-eul’s words, the Failure Ruin guys started verbally tearing him down.

[Global] Transparent Human: Real trash, if I were you I would’ve killed myself

[Global] Cheon No-eul: Then kill yourselfㅇㅅㅇ lolol

[Global] Transparent Human: No, I meant if I were you;;

Cheon No-eul, who didn’t even have proper equipment or weapons, was a perfect target to pick on. Cheon No-eul stayed quiet when they made sarcastic remarks about him, but when someone said “That’s why you follow that trash Meow around,” he showcased his fast typing skills and started pouring out every curse in the world.

[Guild] Ji9star: Amazing, love of a thousand years….

[Guild] neutaaaa: Ch-Ok, are you watching?

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: What are you saying;

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Lololololololololol

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Fake Roach ㄷㅊ

[Guild] ParkRoaches: -_-

[Guild] neutaaaa: Lololololololololol

But is that really something to get so angry about? Kyung-soo, feeling awkward watching Cheon No-eul’s chat rage as if it were his own problem, eventually brought the entire pot of ramen over and sat down in front of the computer desk.

[Global] Iove: Get lost, you son of a bitch1! It’s a guild war, why are you even here, lolololol?? Can’t even fit in properly, huh.

Seeing them call their online bully play a ‘guild war’ really showed their young age. Kyung-soo smirked and stared at the monitor.

[Global] Cheon No-eul: How is this a guild war?????

[Global] Cheon No-eul: Cat-nim was the only one getting hit, you know -ㅅ-;

[Global] Iove: Yeah~ Guild Ignoramuses, don’t butt in lololol

[Global] Halloween Eggplant: Just wait and see

The moment the deputy guild master said to wait and see, a notification window popped up in bold red letters.

‘Cheon No-eul has joined the guild.’

[Global] Halloween Eggplant: Now it’s a guild war.

[Global] Cheon No-eul: See? Hehe

[Global] Catmeowmeow: …?

[Global] Ji9star: Lolololololol damn1, lololololol

“……?”

The ramen he was eating slurped down. A blue wave effect started shimmering above Cheon No-eul’s name. And engraved within that wave effect was a familiar guild name.

‘Poseidon.’

[Guild] Halloween Eggplant: This is our temporary guild member, Cheon No-eul~ Please give him a round of applause^^

[Guild] Ji9star: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk

[Guild] neutaaaa: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: ????

[Guild] Halloween Eggplant: Cat-nim, applause.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: What the fuck game??????????

[Guild] al0ha: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk

[Guild] Honeymoon: Tsk tsk tsk

[Guild] Kongpatjijji: Lololololol Tsk tsk

[Guild] Cheon No-eul: Hehe, thank you.

Kyung-soo clenched his fist and slammed the desk. Pressing G to open the guild window, he could see all the guild members’ channels and locations at a glance. The deputy guild master had essentially gifted Cheon No-eul a navigation system.

Word must have spread, because spectators started swarming in, even though it wasn’t a town. The ensuing lag made the character movements stutter and freeze.

[Global] Paewang1: You’re the one who mentioned ‘guild war’ first^^

The guild master of Ruin, who had been quiet for a while, stepped in. It seemed they intended to escalate things. While he was glad to have a fight after so long, it wasn’t great that he was involved from the start. Kyung-soo was distracted by the fact that Cheon No-eul had joined a guild, but at the Ruin guild master’s words, he placed his hands on the keyboard.

[Global] Catmeowmeow: Are you deaf? The ‘guild war’ talk was started by that bald guy behind you^^

[Global] Catmeowmeow: And he threw the first punch1, you son of a bitch lolololol

[Global] Iove: Lololololol Your true colors are showing^-^….

[Global] Cheon No-eul: Bald people can’t hear, you know, Cat-nim.

[Global] Iove: Lololol I’m not bald?

[Global] Cheon No-eul: You have no hair, so you can’t hear.

Iove’s character was a green-skinned bald character. For a moment, the Failure Mangs seemed speechless, saying nothing.

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Lolololololololololol

[Guild] Ji9star: Lolololololololololol

[Guild] Ji9star: I’m gonna get a tattoo, any slogan suggestions? Hehe

[Guild] ParkRoaches: ★You have no hair, so you can’t hear!★

[Guild] Ji9star: That’s cool lololol I’ll get it on my forehead.

[Guild] neutaaaa: T.T So cool….

[Guild] Cheon No-eul: Hehehe

With Cheon No-eul’s support, mocking remarks about baldness started flying from the Poseidon side. Iove just kept laughing.

[Global] Paewang1: Don’t show your true nature^^ You should take responsibility for your words.

[Global] Catmeowmeow: What true nature?

[Global] Catmeowmeow: What did I even say? T.T….

[Global] Catmeowmeow: Besides calling him bald, I didn’t say anything else?

[Global] Cheon No-eul: Cat-nim, don’t cry T.T

[Global] Catmeowmeow:

It was a reflexive response that came out whenever he saw Cheon No-eul. No matter how much that guy defended him, there was no reason to be nice, precisely because it was Cheon No-eul.

[Guild] ParkRoaches: No lololol He’s defending you, why are you dissing him lolololololol

[Guild] Ji9star: Cat-nim’s personality lolololololololololololol

[Global] Iove: LolololDeaf^-^

[Global] Cheon No-eul: Bald guy, shut the fuck1 up.

[Global] Ji9star: Holy sh1t lolololololol

[Global] Catmeowmeow: So even if you guys hit me first, am I supposed to just take it and say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m such an idiot1”? T.T

[Guild] Ji9star: Cat-nim, calm down T.T

[Global] Catmeowmeow: What did I even do in the first place;;;;;;;; You guys started the fight by coming after someone who was just peacefully farming items lololol Isn’t that exactly what a shitty1 Ruin guild would do?^^ That’s why you can’t even stay in the top 10~ Aren’t you tired of recruiting new members all the time? lololol Everyone on the server knows you’re just a Guild Point and Ditch guild.

[Global] Paewang1: If you spread rumors, I’ll sue you.

[Global] Ji9star: Not to start anything, but I’m genuinely curious T.T What are you gonna say when you sue?

[Global] Ji9star: ‘Officer, they… saw our guild… and said we’re a Guild Point and Ditch guild T.T!! They’re bullying us!’ Is that it? lololol

[Global] ParkRoaches: Lolololololololololol

[Global] neutaaaa: How dare you try to handle this? Tsk tsk

Ruin was famous for letting new characters join up to their 3rd job advancement to earn guild points, then making excuses and purging members. No matter how much the purged users complained of unfairness, the only response was ‘You should’ve looked into it before joining.’ Ruin was using this method to barely hover between the 10th and 20th ranks.

[Global] Catmeowmeow: If you’re so good, why don’t you bet on a Character Deletion Bet? You guys are the ones who always bitch1 about damage numbers even though you can’t even deal damage properly.

[Global] Paewang1: Lololol You talk a lot for someone with a Damage Trash Job lololol Having high damage is the best, right? Hehe Then what else is there to argue about?^^

[Global] Transparent Human: Yeah~ You can’t even hear because your basic attack is less than 500,000.

[Global] Iove: LolololSh1tty Valkyrie, right?~

[Global] Ji9star: Bald.

[Global] ParkRoaches: Bald.

[Global] neutaaaa: Bald.

As the chat became flooded with ‘bald’ from the Ruin and Failure Mangs crew, they simultaneously changed channels and locations.

[Global] VitaOcheon: What, is the fight over?

[Global] Green Energy: I just got here T.T

The previously quiet hunting ground was swarming with guild members and spectators. They were idly hitting and killing the stationary monsters for fun. The sound of the monsters dying with a pop was grating. This was the most convenient place to use auto-skills. Kyung-soo sighed deeply. The ramen, now just broth, had gone cold.

[Guild] ParkRoaches: They’re totally gonna doctor some screenshots and post them on the free board lol.

[Guild] Ji9star: The Banality Award of the Year^^ Goes to your Ruin guild~ Congratulations on winning again this year hehe. Here’s a punch as your prize.

[Guild] Halloween Eggplant: I’ve already got the free board open lololol Anyone wanna bet on when they’ll post it? I bet 100 million on within 30 minutes.

[Guild] Ji9star: 20 minutes, 3000.

[Guild] neutaaaa: Does the closest person take it all? I bet 18 minutes, 3000.

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: 15 minutes, 5000 lolololol It’s gonna be copy-pasted anyway lolol

[Guild] Cheon No-eul: 5 minutes, 300 million please -ㅅ-

[Guild] Ji9star: Oh~ Betting already? You adapt fast, temporary member hehe.

[Guild] Cheon No-eul: I hear that a lot hehe.

300 million? This guy has a lot of money too. Kyung-soo rested his chin on his hand and stared intently at Cheon No-eul’s character. The guild name above the guy’s head was unfamiliar. His skin color, eye shape, and items weren’t properly coordinated either. Where does Cheon No-eul keep getting that kind of money? That was one of the top three mysteries of Poseidon.

[Guild] Ji9star: Omg it’s up now;

[Guild] Cheon No-eul: I won! -s-!

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Good thing I didn’t bet lol.

[Guild] Ji9star: T.T T.T T.T T.T T.T T.T I’m screwed.

[Guild] Cheon No-eul: Nope;

[Guild] Ji9star: T.T T.T T.T T.T T.T

At Ji9star’s words, Kyung-soo quickly gulped down his water and accessed the free board on the official homepage. The post title was ‘We Declare an Official War on the Guild.’

Title: We Declare an Official War on the Guild.

Author: Paewang1 / Gunner

Content: Hello Illusion users, as you know, I’m a decent user who plays Illusion as a hobby. I’m writing this post regarding the malicious slander by the toxic guild .

A member of our allied guild, , Iove, encountered a macro user while traveling. So we went to the hunting ground to warn the macro user, and there we discovered the macro user was the server’s Valkyrie ranker, ‘Catmeowmeow’.

The guild, which Catmeowmeow belongs to, has been spreading strange rumors about us and making indiscriminate disparaging remarks. Today, they even ganged up on our innocent allied guild member, calling him bald. Tsk tsk tsk

I was so angry I was going to say something, but Iove said they didn’t want to escalate things, so we eventually moved to another channel to avoid them. To those who don’t know, please beware of this toxic guild .

Therefore, our and guilds declare an official PVP war on the guild, betting on the account deletion of the toxic macro user ‘Catmeowmeow’.

◆Time: 8 PM, one week from today.

◆Content: 4v4 PVP.

If we win, we intend to secure the account deletion of ‘Catmeowmeow’ and an apology. If we lose, I will take responsibility for this post and delete my character.

The four people who made malicious remarks to our allied guild member today—’Catmeowmeow’, ‘Ji9star’, ‘ParkRoaches’, and ‘Cheon No-eul’—must participate.

(18 comments have been registered.)

-Bald motherfucker lolololololololol

-Isn’t that team killing? Just handing out free damage….

-Lolololololololololololol Why are you fighting over this~ lolololololololololol

-It’s obvious you’re playing the victim lolololol Btw, that guild doesn’t exist, and I took a few screenshots while watching earlier, why are you only posting the parts that suit your narrative?

└Transparent Human: Yeah, next time, Poseidon.

└ohmyboy: Who would pick a fight with an 11th ranked guild? What’s so fun about that? Hehe

└ParkRoaches: You’re yapping so much about hitting 11th place once lololol Fact: Currently 32nd.

└I’m not from Poseidon? Anyway, it seems like you’re not, but if you say anything, they just gang up on you;

-Judging just by these screenshots seems a bit…

-ParkRoaches: I read the post well hehe But there are typos!! Decent >Stupid, Strange rumors >Truth, Disparaging remarks >Truth-telling, Bald >Iove, Malicious >Truthful.

└Iove: Poseidon’s personality hehe.

└ParkRoaches: Bald.

└Transparent Human: Seriously, stop it lol; Don’t mind Iove.

└ParkRoaches: [Whisper] Dude, your baldness is contagious T.T Now’s not the time to get involved. Run away.

-That’s a macro? That’s one of the Valkyrie skills… Seems like Ruin should be the ones apologizing… Did you already forget how they promoted it when Valkyrie was first updated?? It’s the skill that plants seeds with the hook in the field and explodes every 10 seconds. If you don’t know, look it up or ask before picking a fight?? Isn’t that the wrong move?

└Seems like they knew and started the fight anyway lolololol.

└Then that’s even worse T.T T.T.

-It’s pretty clear who’s in the wrong, but it’s entertaining so I’ll just watch lololol When’s the character deletion happening? Someone please stream the PVP… I want to watch the Valkyrie gameplay in real time too.

└?? That’s dangerous talk. If you’re thinking of playing Valkyrie, you better quit now. The control being over-the-top isn’t for no reason.

└Lololololol I’ll just watch.

-Cheon No-eul joined Poseidon? Wow, what a lucky fan damn1!! Congrats lololol!! But I wonder if Catmeowmeow will get deleted because of him… That Cheon No-eul guy, even if he gets attacked by a slime, he won’t use a single skill or even run away lolololololol He’s famous for having Terrible Control;

-neutaaaa: You crazy bastards, let me in too! I called him bald too?? Why aren’t you including me???? It’s so unfair, tears are coming out T.T Let me fight too T.T

└Iove: Don’t show off your shitty personality on the free board and get lost.

└neutaaaa: Hehe, bald.

-Is the free board your battleground? Cut it out. I came in to look at guides and this is what I see -_-

Kyung-soo snorted a laugh at the audacity of Ruin, who always gets beaten but still proposes PVP. However, this was the first time they were betting character deletion, so he was a little nervous. 4v4 PVP isn’t something you can win with just one good player. Since stats are balanced, it’s a team PVP match where all four members need to be good.

Fortunately, ParkRoaches was a healer within the top 100 ranks, so recovery and buffs weren’t a worry. Ji9star, though talkative, was a decent Knight Spear with good play sense. Since he was the type who lived for movement speed, he was good at dodging attacks left and right.

[Guild] Halloween Eggplant: It’s really pathetic, but it’ll be fun lol.

[Guild] neutaaaa: Include me too T.T.

[Guild] Halloween Eggplant: I’m so excited, my heart’s racing!

[Guild] ParkRoaches: Hearts are supposed to race.

The problem was Cheon No-eul.

[Guild] Ji9star: This is a bit awkward to say, but I think we’re screwed because of Cheon No-eul.

[Guild] Ji9star: 7 days until Cheon No-eul’s character deletion… T.T

[Guild] Catmeowmeow: Lololololololol T.T

[Guild] Cheon No-eul: Cheon No-eul’s character deletion?

[Guild] Ji9star: Oh, right lololololololol I keep forgetting you’re in the guild… Forget I said it hehe.

[Guild] Cheon No-eul: ^-^….

Kyung-soo banged his forehead on the keyboard. Meaningless consonants were typed everywhere. Shooting back up, Kyung-soo erased all the letters with backspace and sent a whisper to Cheon No-eul.

[Whisper] Catmeowmeow: What’s your level right now?

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: It’s 87.

“…….”

The level for the 1st job advancement is 80. When Cheon No-eul started following him around, he had already completed his 1st job advancement. If his level is 87 now, that means he hasn’t leveled up at all since then.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: Cat-nim.

[Whisper] Cheon No-eul: I’ll try hard.

The moment he said that, a cute Marshmallow Monster lightly brushed past Cheon No-eul. Cheon No-eul’s back bent, and in an instant, his eyes turned into X’s as he fell flat on the hunting ground field.

“…We’re screwed.”

How did he even level this character? He can’t delete it. He’d rather die than do that. Kyung-soo firmly resolved that, no matter what, he would drag that Terrible Control guy up to the level of a normal person.