By Zephyria “And how could I forgive each and every one of the bastards who took that person away from me?”
He was no longer trying to hide his anger. But soon, as if regretting revealing his negative emotions in front of his lover, he turned his head and deeply inhaled the cigarette filter. Due to continued sleep deprivation and sharpened nerves, the silhouette of his profile from his forehead and brow bone down to his nose, and the contour of his jawbone, became more pronounced. He seemed to be trying to control his emotions through the ritual of bringing the cigarette to his lips and tapping off the ash, but it didn’t seem easy, unlike other times.
Choi Hong-seo took a sip of ginger tea, moistening his lips, then set the cup down and stood up. Tiffany, who had occupied a single sofa and curled up, lifted her head and looked up. He stroked the dog’s head and walked towards Lee Hae-sung, who was leaning loosely against the desk.
“You smell like smoke. Don’t come over here.”
Where had the fierce anger from moments ago gone? His voice, drained of strength, sounded almost dejected.
“I told you I don’t particularly dislike smoking. Why don’t you believe me?”
He moved closer to Lee Hae-sung, who was leaning against the desk, his eye level lower than usual.
“It’s more hurtful that you try to hide things from me.”
“What good is it to smoke in front of you?”
“I’m your lover, and I’m twenty-eight… Are you trying to educate me like a baby?”
Lee Hae-sung seemed to agree with that statement, letting out a faint, dry chuckle. After inhaling a puff of smoke, he gently touched Choi Hong-seo’s fingertips with his free hand. As if he didn’t have the courage to hold on tightly.
“Aren’t you scared?”
“Of what?”
“Don’t you see me differently now?”
“Why?”
Choi Hong-seo’s face was filled with pure confusion, as if he couldn’t fathom why such a question was being asked.
“Whatever the reason, you’re the one who got blood on your hands.”
“……”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to kiss me, or even come near me. That you’d look at me like a monster for a while.”
“Scared? You?”
“I’m scared of Hong-seo.”
Without holding on, Choi Hong-seo was the one who firmly grasped Lee Hae-sung’s hand, which was barely clinging to his fingertips.
“You know that no matter what choice you make, I won’t see you differently. You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”
“…It’s not that I don’t trust you, or your love. It’s that I’ve become too afraid.”
He lowered his gaze and brought the cigarette to his lips. He was a physically and socially imposing man, a man who had confessed to ordering someone to be killed. Yet, at this moment, his broad, thick shoulders, which seemed capable of carrying Mount Tai, looked pathetic in Choi Hong-seo’s eyes. He gripped his fingers tighter.
“I know you must have been in a lot of pain because of those emails… that’s what breaks my heart.”
He, who had been passively offering his left hand, suddenly squeezed Choi Hong-seo’s hand tightly. Then he pulled him closer.
“I don’t regret that at all.”
His eyes, full of conviction, looked up at Choi Hong-seo.
“The day Yoon Hye-an, who was in a coma for months, woke up, happened to be the very day Lee Seo-kyung was murdered in Thailand. I don’t think that was a coincidence at all.”
“Ah…”
It was long after he had woken up in Yoon Hye-an’s body that he had searched for what happened to Lee Seo-kyung or Myeong Do-hoon, the conclusion of the ‘X-Boy Scandal’. For a long time, just thinking of them made his body tremble from the inside.
The news that Lee Seo-kyung had died in a foreign country from a shooting was shocking, but he felt no sympathy. He hadn’t paid much attention to the date either. He certainly hadn’t realized it was the same day he woke up in Yoon Hye-an’s body.
As a strange thrill ran through him at the coincidence of the two dates, Lee Hae-sung gently kissed the back of Choi Hong-seo’s hand. Choi Hong-seo softly cupped his face, just as he often did.
“Don’t regret it. Lee Seo-kyung probably didn’t regret what he did until the end, so why should you?”
Lee Hae-sung pulled Choi Hong-seo tightly between his legs and looked up. His face was closer due to the changed eye level.
“I don’t know anything about legal punishment or personal punishment… but I know Lee Seo-kyung deserved to die. You did nothing wrong.”
He met Choi Hong-seo’s gaze without a word, then slowly tilted his head. His right hand, holding the cigarette, rested on the edge of the desk, while his left arm wrapped around Choi Hong-seo’s waist. His dry lips brushed against his neck, slipping under the collar of his generously sized pajamas.
Choi Hong-seo seemed to understand the meaning of the kiss.
From the moment he kissed his hand, he had been kissing every spot where the spots appeared.
“Don’t worry. As long as I am Lee Hae-sung, the video Jo Seong-hyeon has will never leak to the world.”
“What are you going to do?”
“It’s not complicated. I’ll handle it in the quickest and cleanest way possible. Our Sunday departure can’t be delayed because of such a problem, can it?”
His tone suggested it was as simple as choosing a dish from a delivery app and paying with a fintech service.
Lee Hae-sung, who had kissed the deep nape of his neck beneath the loosely opened collar, rested his chin on Choi Hong-seo’s chest and looked up.
“Hong-seo, you can understand me, right? Hmm?”
“Darling.”
“You said killing Lee Seo-kyung wasn’t my fault.”
“No, Darling. That’s not it.”
Choi Hong-seo gently cupped Lee Hae-sung’s head and shook his head.
“Whether it’s Lee Seo-kyung, Myeong Do-hoon, or Chairman Jo. If you can’t forgive them, don’t. Instead…”
“……”
“I’ll be your accomplice.”
“What do you mean?”
Lee Hae-sung slowly straightened his back. He crushed the cigarette burning between his fingers and extinguished it.
“This happened to us. I don’t want to be safe and innocent hiding behind you while you get your hands dirty. Tell me what you’re planning to do, and how things will unfold.”
“Hong-seo…”
“People like Jo Seong-hyeon. People like Lee Seo-kyung. I know we can’t deal with them through legal and fair means. I’m not going to tell you to not seek revenge like some hothouse flower. Instead, I’ll do it with you.”
At the suggestion of seeking revenge together, Lee Hae-sung looked despairing, as if he had been told they were breaking up. Choi Hong-seo clasped Lee Hae-sung’s hands. They were neat and clean, but very large, and therefore heavy.
“If your hands are stained with blood, mine will be too.”
“……”
“I love you selfishly, wickedly. Together.”
Lee Hae-sung tightened his grip on their hands, which were intertwined like fingers. As if coaxing a disobedient child.
“Hong-seo, you’re hurting so much. What if you get hurt again by knowing the details of such things? There’s no good in it. Can’t I just handle the Jo Seong-hyeon matter, just this last thing, myself?”
Lee Hae-sung pushed himself up from his leaning position against the desk. This time, he gripped Choi Hong-seo’s shoulders and pushed him back, applying pressure. Pushed by that force, Choi Hong-seo stumbled back three or four steps. Niya? Thinking the two were fighting, Tiffany, who had been curled up quietly, jumped down from the sofa.
“I understand you want to protect me, Darling. But the love you taught me isn’t like that, so what can I do?”
“How can I let you hold a knife, Hong-seo?”
Choi Hong-seo gently stroked Lee Hae-sung’s arms, which were applying pressure as if to crush his shoulder blades.
“Even though I’m much younger than you… I’ve had to see and experience things I shouldn’t have. I’m much more ruthless than you think.”
“It’s not ruthlessness. It’s strength.”
He wanted to say thank you for saying that, but his throat was choked, and tears welled up, making it impossible to speak. He just managed a forced smile with an awkward expression. The strength in Lee Hae-sung’s hands gripping his shoulders gradually loosened.
“And because I know you had to be strong to endure, I want to cherish you more than anyone.”
Tiffany, who had come down from the sofa, circled them restlessly. Her anxious whimpers made Choi Hong-seo pick her up.
“I know. I know why you call me Baby… And that’s why, when I’m by your side, I feel like my past self is also being cared for. Even the me before I met you.”
Lee Hae-sung gently put his arm around his lover’s shoulder so as not to press Tiffany, who was in Choi Hong-seo’s arms. His breath was warm and ticklish on Choi Hong-seo’s forehead.
“Then, can’t I keep the hand holding the knife hidden from Hong-seo?”
“Even if the target is trash who deserves to die, the blood on your hands remains as darkness in your heart. I don’t want a darkness I don’t know inside you when I smile brightly in your arms. Just let me place my hand on the hand holding the knife. Even if a hard, stone-like darkness remains, it’s better for us to share it.”
Thinking he wanted to be held, Choi Hong-seo embraced him, but Tiffany, whimpering more sharply this time, twisted and jumped down to the floor. She didn’t want to go out of the study. She still circled only the two of them. Because of her looking up with her head tilted high and whimpering in a high-pitched voice, further conversation became impossible.
Choi Hong-seo sat on the floor and stroked Tiffany. He slowly massaged her favorite spots, starting from her neck and moving towards her armpits, calling her name in the gentlest voice possible.
“Tiffany, Tiffany. What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well? It’s okay, we’re not fighting.”
Lee Hae-sung sighed from above and ran his hand through his hair, saying with resignation.
“Should I go get some snacks?”
“You should. This has never happened before, so I’m worried… so…”
Choi Hong-seo, stroking Tiffany’s long gray fur as she whimpered anxiously and licked her paws, suddenly stopped and looked up at Lee Hae-sung.
“Darling, what did you say then? Tiffany’s name.”
“Name?”
“You said it wasn’t the name of a jewelry brand… We talked about it at the officetel.”
“Ah, it’s probably named after Freddie Mercury’s cat. She resembles her a lot.”
Lee Hae-sung answered, bewildered by the question that came from a completely unexpected direction.
“By any chance, does that person have a cat named ‘Romeo’?”
“Well, yes…”
“I… I think I’ve got something.”
With an excited look on his face, Choi Hong-seo stood up and urgently pulled Lee Hae-sung’s arm.
“Your phone. Can I borrow your phone?”
Taking the unlocked phone, Choi Hong-seo went to the sofa and sat down, searching for the SNS app. It was an SNS mainly used by the younger generation, based on photo and video sharing rather than text.
Surprisingly, the app was also downloaded on ARA Lee Hae-sung’s phone. He had followed ‘Choi Hong-seo’s’ account. That account was still there, so there was no reason for Lee Hae-sung to have deleted the app.
Without pressing him to ask what was going on, Lee Hae-sung quietly came and sat next to Choi Hong-seo. Tiffany jumped onto his lap, and he gently massaged her favorite spots, watching Choi Hong-seo’s hands.
“If Tiffany’s name was really taken from the name of the cat the band’s vocalist raised… Dong-ha’s cat was probably the same. Its name was Romeo.”
Yoon Hye-an, who didn’t seem to like animals much, wouldn’t have raised a cat voluntarily. Given that his family raised dogs, Park Dong-ha was more likely to be familiar with dogs than cats. It was hard to consider it a coincidence that the two, who were in a sponsor relationship with Jo Seong-hyeon, ended up raising cats with such names.
Choi Hong-seo typed the names of Freddie Mercury’s cats, one after another, into the SNS search bar. If Chairman Jo’s ritual was to gift cats named after Freddie Mercury’s pets to his sponsors, then there had to be more recipients besides Yoon Hye-an and Park Dong-ha. This might even be a clue to catching Jo Seong-hyeon’s weakness.
Oscar, Tom, Jerry, Delilah…
The recipients of sponsorship would undoubtedly be celebrities, so if they posted anything, it would surely appear high in the search results. Yet, no significant posts were easily found. Choi Hong-seo’s nervously moving hands stopped around the sixth or seventh name he searched.
“……”
“……”
Choi Hong-seo and Lee Hae-sung looked at each other.
#Goliath #PetCat #NoviceButler
The subject of a post from two years ago, accompanied by a short-haired cat of mixed colors, bearing such hashtags. It was Go Ji-woon.
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