By Zephyria “Choi Hong-seo was a person who, even when yielding, seemed steadfast, possessing a certain core that made you curious. You’d wonder, ‘What is this person sacrificing their smile and hiding themselves for, trying to appease them?’ He didn’t seem like that kind of person… someone who sparks such curiosity.”
Lee Hae-sung’s hand, which had been tracing his jawline, gently delved into his ear and deep into his hair. Every time his fingers brushed his ear, he flinched with a jolt. To avoid being discovered, he downed his wine instead.
“However, Yoon Hye-an, as I perceived him through the photos and videos I received, was the opposite. I could easily tell what kind of person he was, and his eyes were full of ennui, lacking any passion.”
Lee Hae-sung, who had emptied his third glass by now, refilled his own and Choi Hong-seo’s glasses with more wine.
“And I trust my judgment of people quite a bit. I couldn’t be where I am without that level of discernment, even if it’s filtered through a screen.”
He lightly swirled the newly filled glass and tilted it to smell the wine’s aroma.
“But the more I encountered him, the more Yoon Hye-an didn’t seem like that kind of person. Even with hostile feelings, I felt the report must be wrong.”
After drinking the wine, he turned his face back to Choi Hong-seo.
“The expression that seemed so monotonous, arrogant, and bored in the video, one that didn’t spark any curiosity… it keeps shaking me. I want to chase it, make him look at me after chasing him, and then dig into why he had that expression.”
“……”
“…Like Choi Hong-seo.”
As if embarrassed by his own words, he let out a small snort and lowered his gaze. His eyes, which had been looking at the carpet, once again captured Choi Hong-seo with a warm light.
“And now, even to my eyes, the past you and the present you look alike.”
His phrasing was so precise: not Choi Hong-seo and Yoon Hye-an, but the past you and the present you.
His hand, reaching out, delved deeply past his cheek once more. He felt his entire skin tense painfully with the contact as his thumb rubbed his cheek and his gaze looked down without any hesitation or discomfort. He hadn’t sensed any such sign from him all day.
“Ultimately, the impression is more important than the shape of the features themselves, isn’t it?”
“……”
“An impression is something more than just appearance. It’s like a fingerprint.”
“Then why…”
“Hm?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
Choi Hong-seo forced a smile and shook his head. If his changed appearance was no longer an issue… then why wasn’t he kissing me? He couldn’t say such a thing.
It was Lee Hae-sung who had to adapt to his lover’s changed appearance, not Choi Hong-seo himself. He thought he could wait for him as long as needed, he was confident in his patience, but he couldn’t understand why he was so impatient.
He gulped down more wine. Lee Hae-sung, who had been watching him with a faraway gaze, tugged at Choi Hong-seo’s arm. Pulled by that strength, Choi Hong-seo was awkwardly drawn between his legs. His back was against Lee Hae-sung’s chest, just as it had been when he cried so much in the gallery.
“Mmm.”
With a grunt, Lee Hae-sung pulled Choi Hong-seo into an embrace from behind. One arm crossed his upper chest, the other wrapped around his lower abdomen. Kiss or no kiss, he couldn’t think of anything.
The tip of Lee Hae-sung’s chin pressed down on his shoulder. His neck, jaw, and left ear were all pressed against him.
“Tell Gaspard you were jealous.”
In the living room, alone together, he suddenly lowered his voice and whispered as if in his ear. Choi Hong-seo gripped his wine glass tightly.
Lee Hae-sung’s high nose brushed against his earlobe, and his breath touched a sensitive spot, making his whole body throb with desire. If he was hesitant even about kissing, let alone sex, Choi Hong-seo wished he wouldn’t heat his body up like this.
With his left hand, he tightly grasped the arm that was wrapped around his shoulder, crossing his chest.
“I was… jealous.”
“Really?”
He had felt a pain like his body was burning just from imagining that man kissing him, caressing him, and being tangled in bed with him. He had seemed like a prince or a noble from some European country. It was too much to admit so honestly.
“I wanted to throw a tantrum, saying I didn’t even want us to be friends… I was jealous.”
“……”
His movement, rubbing his earlobe with his nose, stopped. Lee Hae-sung seemed surprised.
Haa… A moment later, with a sweet sigh, his forehead rested on Choi Hong-seo’s shoulder. The arm around his lower abdomen squeezed his torso tightly. To ignore the hot bulk of Lee Hae-sung’s genitals pressing between his hips, Choi Hong-seo changed the subject.
“What else did you talk about… with Hyun-su?”
Lee Hae-sung answered, lifting his face and pressing his chin into Choi Hong-seo’s shoulder.
“It was when I thought Yoon Hye-an was impersonating Choi Hong-seo to gather information. When I heard you had appeared at ‘Jessica’ to meet Song Hyun-soo, I asked about you.”
“……”
“Of course, you just went because you wanted to see a friend, but.”
Lee Hae-sung smiled bitterly, looking back at the misunderstandings of that time.
“I don’t know if he’s a good person, but he’s a good friend. Song Hyun-soo.”
Stroking the arm he held, Choi Hong-seo nodded. He clenched his jaw tightly, trying not to cry.
“I asked him to kill Myeong Do-hoon.”
“…What?”
His neck automatically turned at the unbelievable words. Lee Hae-sung, his eyes darkened, looked calmly into Choi Hong-seo’s eyes from a close distance.
“He chased after me and screamed at me to kill Myeong Do-hoon. He said that way you… would close your eyes.”
Choi Hong-seo’s jaw began to tremble. His gaze, fixed on Lee Hae-sung, wandered around. Lee Hae-sung took the wine glass from Choi Hong-seo’s hand and placed it on the carpet. Then he pulled him into an even tighter embrace.
“I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about these difficult things yet.”
He pressed his lips firmly onto Choi Hong-seo’s hair.
He felt the air slowly grow cold, and the fire in the fireplace was almost extinguished. Staring blankly at the dying embers, he stroked Lee Hae-sung’s arm for a long time.
Then Choi Hong-seo suddenly realized. Perhaps Lee Hae-sung might be reluctant to share a bed with him. But it wouldn’t be easy to bring up. He felt he had to take the initiative to end this and go to bed.
“Should we… stop for the night? We agreed to go hiking tomorrow.”
Instead of checking his own watch, Lee Hae-sung lifted Choi Hong-seo’s wrist to check the time. It was almost 3 AM.
“There’s a twin bedroom, too. How about we share that room?”
“……”
“The first night I stayed at your house, we slept in a room like that, didn’t we?”
“We did.”
“It feels nice, like going back to that time. To when we first met.”
Choi Hong-seo tapped the arm around his collarbone and stood up first. Then he pulled Lee Hae-sung’s hand.
“I told you. I won’t get hurt until you’re completely sure.”
“……”
“I hate it more when you push yourself.”
Lee Hae-sung’s face, looking up from his seated position with his hand extended, looked complicated.
Then, after a long moment, Lee Hae-sung, leaning on Choi Hong-seo’s pull, slowly got his large body up.
He had told his escorts, who had accompanied him from Korea, to let them be as if they were alone. True to his word, no sign of anyone was felt until they reached the guest bedroom on the second floor.
He went to bed wearing the pajamas he had bought that day, which his escort had washed and dried.
He thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep for a long time, but his worries about what to say while lying down were in vain, and he soon fell asleep.
Dream or reality.
He felt a gaze as if Lee Hae-sung was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at him, but before he could confirm if it was a dream or not, he was pulled back into a deep sleep. It was understandable. It had been a day filled with too many events.
■
Perhaps thanks to the deep sleep following the previous day, Choi Hong-seo woke up early. As deeply asleep as a baby, his eyes snapped open as if he had been awake for a long time.
He was startled by the heavy arm pressing on his chest and stomach, and the warmth and breath he felt nearby, and only then did he remember where he was.
“……”
Lee Hae-sung, holding Choi Hong-seo in his arms and lying on his side facing him, was fast asleep. His brow was furrowed.
He had no memory of when Lee Hae-sung had moved to this bed.
Was what he had seen in his sleep last night not a dream? Had he fallen asleep sitting there, watching him, and then crawled into bed?
He wanted to caress his face and smooth the wrinkles on his brow, but he decided not to. He watched for a long time as his bare chest, shoulders, and arms swelled and deflated with his breathing.
It was a embrace he wouldn’t tire of looking at all day, or being in all day, but… the problem was that his body would want him again. He didn’t want to feel ashamed of his desire for the person he loved, but he also didn’t want Lee Hae-sung to feel guilty.
When had he become so lustful?
He gently lifted Lee Hae-sung’s arm, which felt even heavier with no tension in it, and carefully got out of bed.
Like in the early morning, the mansion was quiet, and there was no sign of anyone. Wearing a thick cardigan over his pajamas, Choi Hong-seo quietly went out to the front yard.
“Haa…”
As if last night’s strong wind had been a lie, the world was peaceful and dazzling. The sea was calm like a lake, glittering like crushed glass.
He descended the steep stairs leading to the beach, past the infinity pool and across the wide lawn. It was the same place he had taken a short walk with Lee Hae-sung after arriving at the villa yesterday.
Unlike Malibu Beach or Puerto Beach, which he had seen on the way from Beverly Hills, the narrow beach faced a cliff. Walking along the cove, like a fortress, he cleared his mind in the refreshing morning breeze. He intended to walk to the end of the beach without thinking about anything.
“Choi Hong-seo, Choi Hong-seo!!”
Choi Hong-seo stopped, his name ringing clearly in his ears.
“Choi Hong-seo!”
It was unmistakably his voice. Looking back the way he came, he saw Lee Hae-sung running down the steep stairs, taking several steps at a time. He was rushing so much that Choi Hong-seo worried he might fall headlong.
Moreover, he was in the same state as when he was asleep in bed. He was wearing only pajama pants, without a robe over his bare upper body. Even if he was comfortable indoors, he wasn’t the type of person to come outside so disheveled. Something must have happened.
Choi Hong-seo’s heart began to pound. His steps back quickened.
“Choi Hong-seo!”
Even though he had already spotted Choi Hong-seo, Lee Hae-sung, having descended the stairs, shouted as if to tear his vocal cords. It wasn’t just a shout to get the attention of someone far away.
Choi Hong-seo started running towards him. Conversely, Lee Hae-sung’s pace slowed. Looking at Choi Hong-seo approaching, he took one slow step after another, his face looking dazed.
Choi Hong-seo slowed his steps again when they were about ten feet apart. He looked all over Lee Hae-sung’s pale face. His lips were also tinged with blue.
“What’s wrong… What happened…!”
When the distance closed to about two steps, Lee Hae-sung reached out his arm. The hand that grabbed Choi Hong-seo’s shoulder from behind yanked him into his embrace like a snatch. The other arm squeezed him so tightly it felt like it would cut off his breath. Their pounding chests pressed tightly together.
“Because you weren’t there…”
“……”
“Because I looked away, because I fell asleep, and thought you were gone…”
“……”
“Because I thought it was all… over…”
He was rambling like a half-crazed person.