By Zephyria Choi Hong-seo cleared his throat and answered the call.
“Hyung.”
[…Were you sleeping?]
“No. I was just lying down.”
[You’re not the type to miss practice or anything for a minor illness. I was worried about how sick you must be to go back to your accommodation, so I called.]
Choi Hong-seo laughed weakly. Everyone around him knew him as a tenacious person, yet only Lee Hae-sung saw him as a pitiable puppy, which made him laugh.
Fiddling with the edge of the blanket, he looked at the door, which was open about a handspan.
[You’re alone at the accommodation, right? Should I come over?]
“It’s okay, it’s okay. I went to the hospital too. It’s just a body ache, so I’ll be fine after taking medicine and sleeping. It’s not like I need someone to nurse me.”
His heart pounded unnecessarily hard, denying the need for a nurse, knowing one was already there. Feeling awkward, Choi Hong-seo felt his already hot body grow even hotter. He lowered his head, touching his flushed face with his hand, even though no one was watching.
If only he had had the chance to mention his relationship with Lee Hae-sung beforehand, it would have been easier.
Actually, the man is here right now. He even brought porridge, so I’m going to eat it and sleep. — He briefly imagined saying that to Jeong Ji-in. Introducing him to someone as his lover. It would be embarrassing, but it felt like it would be a very happy moment. Choi Hong-seo’s hands tightened on the blanket.
[Did you eat? And take medicine? Should I order some delivery porridge for you?]
“I took the medicine, and the porridge… I’m about to eat it now.”
The quiet sound of slippers shuffling grew closer, and Lee Hae-sung returned to the room with a tray holding a glass of water. Choi Hong-seo exchanged a glance with Lee Hae-sung and pointed to his phone with his finger. Lee Hae-sung nodded and placed the tray on the side table.
[Why is the order reversed, you punk?]
Jeong Ji-in chuckled as if affectionately from the other end of the phone and added,
[Still, it’s better than not eating. Good job.]
Smiling faintly along with Jeong Ji-in, Choi Hong-seo’s eyes followed Lee Hae-sung’s movements.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, within arm’s reach of Choi Hong-seo, he took the porridge out of the insulated bag. Lee Hae-sung carefully opened the lid of a stainless steel bowl with a handle, like a mug, and smiled at Choi Hong-seo. The savory and slightly salty aroma of the shrimp porridge spread gently through the room.
Choi Hong-seo also smiled back at him. His smile was undoubtedly worse than crying, but it would be perceived as being due to his illness.
Looking at him, he said to Jeong Ji-in on the phone,
“Hyung, I’m sorry… I can’t make our appointment today.”
[It’s because you’re sick, so why are you sorry? You’re saying all sorts of things.]
“Still… it was difficult to coordinate our schedules. I don’t know when we’ll be able to meet again.”
[We can make time later. It’s not like we can’t see each other again.]
“Yeah.”
[It’s hard to see you because your popularity is so global, Choi Hong-seo, but being busy is a good thing, right? Right, Hong-seo-ya?]
“Yeah, that’s right.”
Still fiddling with the blanket, Choi Hong-seo nodded.
[I’ve kept a sick person for too long. Eat your porridge and get some good sleep. I’ll be cheering for your new song and waiting. Don’t stress about it. Choi Hong-seo will do well, as always.]
After finishing the call with Jeong Ji-in, he felt even heavier. He swallowed dryly, trying not to show it, and gathered his thoughts.
“Actor Jeong Ji-in?”
“Yes.”
He took out a small case from a pocket in the insulated bag. It contained a set of cutlery. With a playful expression, he smiled and said,
“Who is our Baby’s favorite person in the world?”
“You’re just saying that, right?”
“Saying what.”
“I like Hyung, but he’s not my favorite person… You know that, so you’re saying it for no reason.”
“What kind of porridge should we have? Your stomach isn’t upset, so should we go with shrimp porridge? It would be the most flavorful.”
He nodded, and Lee Hae-sung first handed him the glass of water. After Choi Hong-seo drank the water, he slowly stirred the porridge in the bowl with a spoon to cool it down. Steam rose from the shrimp porridge, as if it had just been taken from the pot.
He scooped a spoonful of porridge from the surface, making sure it wasn’t too hot, and held it up to Choi Hong-seo’s lips.
“I can eat by myself.”
“But I can feed you. How about a person who looks like they don’t even have the strength to hold a spoon to listen to a healthy person?”
His large hand reached out and cupped his cheek. He had washed his hands when he went to get water, and his hand was cooler than before. The cool sensation felt so good that his eyes naturally closed.
Without further argument, he obediently opened his mouth. Lee Hae-sung smiled with satisfaction and scooped another spoonful of porridge. The feeling of someone feeding him was as unfamiliar as another world. The sweetness of him feeding him was far greater than the salty taste of the porridge.
“It’s delicious.”
“There’s seaweed too, should I add some seaweed?”
“It’s fine. It’s incredibly delicious as it is.”
The second spoonful approached. When he opened his mouth, he fed him the porridge at just the right depth, neither too deep nor too shallow, as if he were feeding himself.
He had never had someone look at him with such worried eyes, stay by his side, and even feed him like this. At least, not in his memory. He considered telling him, but stopped. He knew it would break his heart to hear that no one had ever done this for him before.
Lee Hae-sung, looking at Choi Hong-seo with pride after he had eaten the third spoonful, said with an innocent, expressionless face,
“If it’s not Actor Jeong Ji-in, then who is Hong-seo’s favorite person?”
He thought that conversation was over. A laugh escaped Choi Hong-seo’s lips. He couldn’t help but laugh.
“Darling… I like Lee Hae-sung Darling the most in the world.”
“That’s right. I said that because I wanted to hear that.”
After hearing the sweet words, he smiled maturely. So Choi Hong-seo understood. He was deliberately saying these things to comfort a sick person and make him laugh.
The fourth spoonful approached, and he obediently opened his mouth to receive it.
“I’m really upset that Hong-seo is sick, but I’m also a little excited that we’re together like this. My boyfriend is like this, right?”
“Don’t insult my boyfriend…”
“……”
The fifth spoonful, which had been approaching, stopped midway. Then, with a golden smile that could melt anything, it moved again.
“Yes, I won’t.”
He hadn’t expected to meet someone who would stay by his side with such devoted concern when he was sick. He hadn’t expected to have someone he could lean on. But the burdens and darkness he carried were too heavy and too deep, and he felt too ashamed to ask someone to share them. Because he had never had someone precious, he found it difficult to know how to protect someone he cherished.
So, for now, he diligently ate the porridge he was given. It was the only thing he could do for him at this moment. Looking at his face, which lit up with happiness as if the food going into his mouth was his own, he felt a surge of strength that allowed him to forget the languidness pulling at his body, the heat gathering in his head and eyes… even Lee Seo-kyung.
After finishing more than half of the porridge bowl, Lee Hae-sung left the room to put the remaining porridge away in the kitchen. Taking advantage of the moment, Choi Hong-seo headed to the bathroom. He knew it might be wishful thinking in this situation, but he wanted to brush his teeth in case they kissed.
He felt his mood sink when he saw his face in the bathroom mirror, looking disheveled as if he had been crying for a long time, but he had no choice but to return to the room. Lee Hae-sung was waiting for him, pacing the room, unable to sit down.
“This wall is too bare?”
He pointed to the empty space next to the posters hanging on the wall and laughed. They were posters of movies they had watched together, and they were Lee Hae-sung’s gifts. Choi Hong-seo hung them side-by-side on the wall next to the door. Because they were hung closely together, there was a lot of space to the right.
It was like a visualization of Choi Hong-seo’s anticipation for the time they would spend together in the future. So, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong, he felt embarrassed, as if his heart had been completely revealed to him.
He rubbed the back of his neck and tried his best to explain nonchalantly.
“I, I did that on purpose. Because I need… space to hang more posters.”
He seemed to have failed at appearing nonchalant, but a happy smile played on Lee Hae-sung’s face. He came up close behind Choi Hong-seo and wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind.
“We’ll have to watch more movies diligently then.”
“……”
“Until there’s no more space to hang them. Okay?”
He nodded at his voice, which sought his agreement, and wrapped his arms around his wrists, which crossed his collarbone. Unlike his usual habit, he nodded not once but several times. He would watch so many movies with him that this wall would be full and there would be no more space to hang them… He did so as if making a vow to himself.
Returning to the bed to lie down, Choi Hong-seo discovered an unfamiliar object. A large bowl, the kind used in the kitchen, sat on the bedside table.
“It’s lukewarm water. If you soak a towel and wipe yourself down, your body temperature should drop a bit.”
“You’re going to… do it yourself?”
“Of course. What would I keep a boyfriend for if not for this?”
He laid Choi Hong-seo down on the bed and turned off the lights so his eyes could rest. Then, he sat beside him and slowly, as if wiping, cleaned Choi Hong-seo’s face, neck, and arms in turn. As the water evaporated, it carried the heat away, leaving a pleasantly cool sensation.
“I’ll stay until you fall asleep, so if you feel sleepy, just rest deeply.”
Choi Hong-seo forced his eyelids, which had been drooping languidly, to stay open. The sound of the pouring rain, which hadn’t registered until then, was wailing outside the window like an ominous prophecy.
His lips, parched from the fever, parted as he looked at him.
“Can you… not go today?”
As he wiped Choi Hong-seo’s left arm with the wet towel, a smile spread across his face. He lowered his head a little, cocked his eyebrows, and asked,
“Should I stay by your side?”
Choi Hong-seo nodded, and he gently pinched his cheek, not hurting him at all.
“It hurts, so you want to be with me?”
Nod.
Perhaps he hadn’t expected such an honest answer this time, as his eyes widened. Realizing Choi Hong-seo wasn’t joking, his expression quickly turned serious. With a hesitant look and tone, he said,
“Of course, I want to, but won’t the members think it’s strange? Hong-seo, won’t you be bothered?”
Clutching Lee Hae-sung’s sleeve tighter, Choi Hong-seo shook his head this time.
“I don’t care.”
“Really?”
Nod.
He didn’t want him to leave. CEO Myeong would have already blabbed about his condition to him anyway, and if Lee Hae-sung wanted to live in this dorm, CEO Myeong would let him do as he pleased. No, even if CEO Myeong burst in and threw a fit, he didn’t want to let him go. If he let him go… it felt like he shouldn’t.