By Zephyria “I’m sorry for showing you something strange earlier.”
“You seem to know those people from before.”
“……”
I don’t remember, but it seems so. — He wanted to say that, but he felt like the man wouldn’t believe him, just like everyone else. Besides, it sounded like a flimsy excuse. So, he changed the subject.
“And I’m sorry for causing trouble in various ways that day too.”
“……”
This time, Lee Hae-sung fell silent. Holding the teacup he had offered with both hands, Choi Hong-seo began to speak somewhat ramblingly.
“I tried to compose myself and quietly leave after telling you I was going… but then I suddenly felt unwell…”
“……”
“It’s really not a lie, I could bear it up to the middle, but then it suddenly became severe with no warning…”
“I know.”
“…Yes?”
At the unexpected reply, Choi Hong-seo involuntarily looked up at him. Sitting side-by-side on the same sofa, with enough distance for about three more people, he was slowly swirling his glass on his crossed knee.
“Your fever suddenly rose to 42 degrees Celsius, so it must have been hard to endure. I don’t think you caused trouble by leaving a sick person, so you don’t need to apologize.”
“Then, you believe me?”
Lee Hae-sung slowly turned his head towards him and met Choi Hong-seo’s eyes.
“A thermometer wouldn’t lie, would it?”
“……”
“I believe you.”
Just those words felt like a breath of fresh air.
That I am Choi Hong-seo, not Yoon Hye-an. Even if he didn’t believe that far, it was okay. Just believing that collapsing and being sick wasn’t a show made him feel significantly relieved, as if a great false accusation had been lifted.
It didn’t matter if Park Dong-ha, or that man from earlier, or anyone else didn’t believe him. If he believed him, it was the same as the world believing him.
Thinking he had made eye contact for too long, Choi Hong-seo hastily lowered his gaze and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“And, the hospital bills… I’ll cover the hospital bills. I can’t have Vice President cover that as well. At the very least, I’ll pay for the examination costs…”
Before Choi Hong-seo could finish speaking, he gestured to an attendant. The attendant, who had been waiting like a robot near the entrance, quickly approached and handed a small box to Lee Hae-sung. Choi Hong-seo also stopped speaking, as it didn’t seem like he was taking the money issue seriously.
“I could have had you transferred to a regular room through the emergency room, but that was my own decision. I can’t have Yoon Hye-an bear that cost, so don’t worry about it.”
He explained briefly and placed the box, decorated with a blue ribbon on glossy silver wrapping paper, on the table. Then, he slid it towards Choi Hong-seo.
“I couldn’t come to a birthday party empty-handed.”
“Th-thank you…”
“Open it. At least for the sake of my sincerity.”
“Now?”
Lee Hae-sung nodded.
Choi Hong-seo put down his teacup and reached for the box, which was so beautifully wrapped it seemed a shame to open it.
He hadn’t expected Lee Hae-sung to appear at Yoon Hye-an’s birthday party, where ‘Choi Hong-seo’ wasn’t even present, let alone bring a gift.
Had the fact that he collapsed not being a show changed his thoughts about me, even a little bit?
Thinking that, he untied the ribbon and carefully peeled off the wrapping paper, trying not to tear it.
“……”
It was definitely the perfume. The custom-made perfume that Lee Hae-sung used to wear when meeting Choi Hong-seo, and that he had gifted to Choi Hong-seo.
Upon confirming the contents, Choi Hong-seo froze.
“Aren’t you going to try it? I want to know if you like the scent.”
At his suggestion, Choi Hong-seo held the heavy bottle and sprayed the perfume on the inside of his left wrist. The moment he inhaled the scent, his facial muscles twitched.
The bottle was clearly the same, but the scent was completely different.
Right, he wouldn’t give Yoon Hye-an the scent that only Choi Hong-seo and he shared.
“Why?”
“No, it’s nothing…”
Shaking his head, he crossed his right wrist over his left and rubbed them lightly, then rubbed both wrists below his ears. His mind was elsewhere, so it was an almost mechanical action.
Suddenly, a light sigh was heard near his ear.
It resembled the sweet sighs he had heard by his side in the past, as Choi Hong-seo.
The sound of the heavy crystal glass being set down followed, and he closed the distance between them in an instant, coming close beside him. Then, picking up the perfume bottle Choi Hong-seo had placed on the table, he said in a gentle voice. Just like before.
“I told you not to rub it like that.”
Choi Hong-seo’s eyes widened as he looked down at the table. His heart was beating so fast that he felt breathless just sitting still.
He swallowed dryly and tried to compose himself as much as possible.
“……Yes?”
“And I told you that spraying it on the outside of your wrist, rather than the inside, makes the scent last longer. I told you that too.”
“What, what are you…”
Like a creaking, rusty machine, he turned his head to look at him. At a very close distance, his eyes were looking at Choi Hong-seo, or rather, Yoon Hye-an. His eyes, looking deeply into Choi Hong-seo’s left and right eyes alternately, were searching as before.
But something was different.
The color was different, the temperature was different.
They were not eyes that searched with suspicion and rejection, but cold ones. The gaze, searching for something, even seemed desperate.
Perhaps what he was looking for in the Yoon Hye-an before him was not evidence or a clue, a thought flashed through his mind. Perhaps he wasn’t looking at Yoon Hye-an, but was looking for Choi Hong-seo in Yoon Hye-an, and seeing Choi Hong-seo.
This time, his gaze, which had been looking at the frozen Choi Hong-seo, slowly drifted downwards.
And then, onto Choi Hong-seo’s wrist, which lay limply on his lap, he sprayed a little perfume on the outside wrist.
“It’s just… because someone came to mind.”
“……”
“It’s not something I said to Yoon Hye-an, so you don’t need to worry about it.”
He put down the perfume bottle and stood up. Choi Hong-seo’s head tilted upwards at the sudden movement.
He returned to his seat and picked up his glass. By now, only ice remained in the glass. Perhaps intending to drink more, he took his glass and walked towards the minibar.
“You’re busy… thank you for coming all this way, and for the gift.”
“……”
“If Vice President has nothing else to say, I’ll be going now…”
“You called me ‘ajussi’ back then?”
“……”
“Yes?”
Choi Hong-seo’s movement to stand up halted.
However, Lee Hae-sung’s broad, straight back, standing by the minibar, didn’t even stir.
A moment later, he turned back, holding a new glass. This time, the glass was filled with a deep amber liquid, undiluted by ice.
“I was in Yoon Hye-an’s hospital room until late that night.”
Choi Hong-seo held his gaze fixed on him, barely breathing.
“Are you telling me you believe that I wasn’t faking collapsing?”
“……”
“You told me that even while you couldn’t stay conscious.”
He leaned loosely against the bar behind him, slowly swirling his glass as he spoke.
“You said you couldn’t sleep because you were afraid the ‘ajussi’ would disappear if you did, and you looked at me quite fondly.”
He downed several large gulps of the undiluted, strong liquor, tilted his head askew, and looked at Choi Hong-seo sitting on the sofa.
“So much so that it shook me for a moment.”
Choi Hong-seo could hear his own breathing becoming rougher, even with his mouth closed.
It felt like he had heard something incredible, but before he could even grasp the meaning of the words, he began to speak again.
“I’ve thought about it again and again. About various possibilities. I’ve even consulted domestic and international experts on whether there are similar cases.”
“……”
“They say there are cases where personality changes after waking up from unconsciousness.”
He spoke about people who claimed to have seen memories of past lives while they were unconscious. He said that after regaining consciousness, that person chose to live as the past self they claimed to be and cut ties with their family.
Before experiencing such things, Choi Hong-seo would have had no interest either. He would have dismissed it as material for a B-grade program introducing eccentric people.
“Past lives… In such cases, no one can verify the truth. Yet, Yoon Hye-an, who claims to have no memory of his own past, knows in great detail about Choi Hong-seo, and about Choi Hong-seo and me. What he told me, and even the layout of my house.”
“That’s…”
“Don’t try to deny it anymore.”
His eyes, expression, and tone clearly indicated that at this point, he wanted to skip pointless arguments.
He drained the remaining alcohol in one go and placed the glass on the bar behind him. Then, in a tone that seemed to be coaxing, unlike last time, he said.
“I can now believe, to some extent, Yoon Hye-an’s words that he doesn’t remember his past self.”
“……”
“I will help you find your memories.”
‘You thought you could just wipe away that messy past by pretending you don’t remember? Whether you remember it or not, it was all your doing.’
The words of the man who had tormented him in the hall a moment ago resurfaced. Choi Hong-seo shook his head.
“I don’t want to find my memories.”
“……”
“I don’t want to go back to the Yoon Hye-an people talk about…”
“Then, do you at least want to live as Choi Hong-seo?”
His voice, which had maintained its composure until now, wavered slightly.
Choi Hong-seo’s head, which had been shaking as if trying to shake off a hallucination, stopped.