By Zephyria “Were you watching?”
“…Yes.”
He sat up from his reclining position, straightening his posture.
“There’s nothing to hide, so I’ll tell you honestly. Hong-seo has the right to know.”
“……”
“It’s a friend I met before.”
A friend I met before. He could guess the meaning. Yet, part of him stubbornly insisted that maybe the friend he was talking about was just a simple friend?
“When you say you met them… did you date?”
“The expression is a bit awkward, but yes, something like that.”
He chuckled as if embarrassed, then lowered his head for a moment and rubbed the back of his neck.
“We knew each other for a long time. We went to the same high school. We stayed in touch, and then somehow, our relationship developed… but it was long-distance, and we were both too busy, so it couldn’t last long. We decided it was better to end things before too much time passed.”
Lee Hae-sung spoke calmly. He talked about it lightly, as if it were all in the past and nothing significant. Listening to him, Choi Hong-seo could tell it wasn’t a long relationship and wasn’t serious.
Yet, Choi Hong-seo couldn’t quite settle down. This shock was greater than the incident with Chairman Jo. The fact that he was more shocked than he expected was itself shocking.
“Is it okay to tell me this kind of story?”
“Why?”
“Don’t you suspect I might spread it around?”
Even if a mere idol were to expose Lee Hae-sung’s secret, it would likely be dismissed as a desperate attempt for attention and fade away. Still, it could be a nuisance for him.
“Would Hong-seo do that?”
To his question, Choi Hong-seo looked down at his hands on his lap and shook his head several times.
“I won’t say anything.”
“……”
“I will never say anything bad about Vice President.”
He was silent for a moment, then gazed at Choi Hong-seo’s face. Even with a faint smile, there was a hint of bitterness beneath it. He looked as if he were touched, and as if he had heard a sad story…
“Thank you. I trust Hong-seo’s words too.”
I trust your words, but I don’t trust, or can’t trust, other people’s words. It felt like that meaning was implied, and Choi Hong-seo understood a little of the reason for the bitterness he felt in his smile.
Seeing Lee Hae-sung’s gaze look sad, Choi Hong-seo quickly returned to the previous topic.
“But, Vice President, you were married to that… woman, weren’t you?”
“……”
Lee Hae-sung tilted his head slightly. He looked surprised that Choi Hong-seo would bring up the topic first. Lee Hae-sung was always the one to initiate active conversations about their relationship.
Choi Hong-seo added as if making an excuse,
“I did search for information about Vice President too.”
“I thought it was common knowledge that Lee Hae-sung is divorced. Was I too arrogant? To think I didn’t know that after searching.”
The playfulness gradually faded from his face, leaving only bitterness.
“So you know I divorced many years ago, right?”
“Yes.”
Because it was such a ‘clean’ divorce for a chaebol family, various rumors were circulating online about his divorce. The fact that he so easily agreed to a divorce from the ARA Group, which held an overwhelming advantage in the domestic business world, led to the dominant speculation that Lee Hae-sung must have had the decisive fault.
The rumors seemed to have taken a more sensational turn because there were no children between them, despite a two-year marriage excluding the period of separation.
“I’ve never lived a life free from obligations or responsibilities since I was young. And I never intended to.”
He recalled CEO Myeong’s words. CEO Myeong had sarcastically called Lee Hae-sung a model student among the third-generation chaebol heirs who knew only work.
“Even though I vaguely sensed that kind of tendency, I thought there would be no problem living a life as an appendage of ARA, forming a family with a woman. I thought my relationships with women never lasting long was simply because we weren’t compatible, or because I was busy. I didn’t take it seriously. I never had trouble in bed with my partners.”
“……”
“But I couldn’t maintain a continuous marital relationship with my wife.”
As if revealing a secret room filled with cameras, he spoke without hesitation, even when confessing his weaknesses and flaws.
“Only after paying a tremendous price could I admit that it wasn’t something that could be achieved through effort. That while short encounters were possible, forming a continuous sexual and affectionate relationship was impossible.”
He added the story of having to live separately for three years because their parents wouldn’t allow a divorce, and then smiled bitterly.
“Then… you and that person from earlier…”
At Choi Hong-seo’s cautious question, Lee Hae-sung’s face regained a smile.
It was a word that had slipped out unintentionally, and seeing his reaction, Choi Hong-seo realized what he had said. Feeling a flush of heat rise to his face in an instant, he shook his head.
“No, no. Please pretend you didn’t hear that.”
“Are you asking if I slept with Gaspard just now?”
“Please forget it.”
“Were you jealous? Of Gaspard?”
Lee Hae-sung looked more amused than ever. He grabbed Choi Hong-seo’s hand, which was trying to pull away, and held on tight.
“It’s not like jealousy, it’s just… you looked so friendly! I’d never seen Vice President like that before… I was just curious about who that person was…”
Even knowing that his rambling excuses were more suspicious, it was the best Choi Hong-seo could do.
Jealousy.
He had never felt such an emotion, so he didn’t know how to handle it skillfully.
Choi Hong-seo had no choice but to lower his head to hide his face, which had turned a deep, almost dark red. Lee Hae-sung didn’t tease him further. Instead, he pressed his forehead against the back of Choi Hong-seo’s neck, which was exposed as he lowered his head.
“Hong-seo, I seem like I’m waiting patiently, right?”
“……”
“But I’m not.”
“……”
“Every time you show me a moment like this, I get impatient, wanting to push forward.”
“You don’t seem like that though…”
Choi Hong-seo mumbled, his head still lowered. His entire nervous system was focused on the warmth of Lee Hae-sung’s body touching his sensitive skin, like the nape of his neck, to the point of feeling emotionally exhausted.
“Are you saying you’re unhappy because I don’t seem like that?”
His breath was so close, it felt like he was breathing directly onto Choi Hong-seo’s heart. Because of that, Choi Hong-seo almost felt like he had to hold his breath.
Their hands clasped tightly. His forehead against his neck. His breath felt against his heart. It was dizzying and suffocating.
“Do you want me to be more desperate because of Hong-seo?”
Lee Hae-sung lifted his head and moved away from Choi Hong-seo’s neck. It became easier to breathe. However, he felt a sense of regret. He wanted to stay close, even if it meant being suffocated. He couldn’t understand himself.
Lee Hae-sung’s other hand reached for his hair. He tidied his hair, which was already neat and not disheveled, and pulled their clasped hands tightly towards his chest.
“Are you anxious? That it might be the fleeting whim of a chaebol?”
“……”
“There’s no need to be anxious or worried. You are the first person to make me feel this level of emotion, and it is enough, enough to be frightening if Hong-seo knew… my feelings are serious.”
Did he say the same thing to that handsome foreigner earlier?
Even if it wasn’t a serious, short-term relationship, they were adults. He must have slept with that person too, right? The thought made his body feel like it was burning.
Because it was the first time he felt such intense emotions for another person, Choi Hong-seo didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t even imagine feelings like sweet and sour excitement, bickering jealousy, or longing for someone. He had spent his days just trying not to break. That alone was overwhelming.
But he had managed to create an emotional gap within Choi Hong-seo. On Choi Hong-seo’s graph, which he wanted to keep straight, not swayed by anything, not wanting plus or minus, he had managed to create a rhythm.
He gazed at his hand, which was touching Lee Hae-sung’s chest, being held against his chest.
“I don’t think I need to fill up the five chances.”
He hadn’t expected to say this to Lee Hae-sung when they walked up Namsan together. But the words flowed from his lips without hesitation, as if they had been decided long ago, making the distance and difficulty he felt towards VIPs seem meaningless.
“Time went by so slowly while Vice President was on your business trip.”
“……”
“Normally… I would constantly search for my name on my phone, read comments, and check communities or SNS… but for a week, even in Thailand, I searched for Vice President’s name more. To see if there were any other articles…”
Lee Hae-sung remained motionless, his gaze fixed on Choi Hong-seo.
“Did I really have to fill up the five chances to decide?”
When he asked cautiously, Lee Hae-sung finally nodded slightly and smiled.
“No, you don’t have to. Do whatever Hong-seo wants.”
He took a deep breath and asked once more, as if to confirm.
“But are you really okay with me? If you regret it later, even an old man gets hurt.”
“How can I not like you when you treat me so well?”
“Do you like me? Not just as a liking?”
“…Yes.”
Enough to feel anxious about the fact that they weren’t dating, that they hadn’t slept together.
Lee Hae-sung’s hardened face seemed to say that he hadn’t expected to hear such a clear affirmation, even though he had asked.
The next moment, his surprised face softened into a smile. Choi Hong-seo thought he would just be happy, but there was a hint of pain in his smile. Was it because of Chairman Jo…?
He gently pulled Choi Hong-seo closer, cupping the back of his neck. This time, Choi Hong-seo’s forehead rested on his shoulder. His warm lips whispered in his ear,
“You really make me suffer too much.”
■