By Zephyria What is this?
…No, really. What is this?
I gazed quietly across the slab table in the library, which exuded an old-fashioned, time-worn aura. Just moments ago, a boy like cotton candy had been sitting there. But he left without a word, without even a nod goodbye.
Didn’t he just say he knew who I was?
Is there a more elegant way to disregard hierarchy? My fingertips grew cold with shame and humiliation. My toes felt heavy, my head hot. I felt the gazes of a few people glancing my way with uneasy faces. I held my head high with as much arrogance as possible, pretending to be unfazed, and slowly scanned my surroundings.
Those who met my eyes flinched, gasped, and bowed their heads. Some among them bowed all the way to their waists with exceptionally polite gestures. I scanned each of them one by one before looking away.
Yes, this is how it should have been. Unless there was some ulterior motive.
“…Hah.”
I was so taken aback that I no longer wanted to stay in the library. Swallowing the cold anger with a breath of air, I stood up. I moved my feet slowly.
As the hot midday sun licked my already burning head as if to tease me, the words from the Nobility Yearbook, which I had already perused countless times, clawed and tore through my mind.
「Michael Ernhardt.
Birthday: Born September 27th, Year 7 of Beneto.
Family Relations: Eldest son of William Ernhardt and Seiren Ernhardt, formerly Seiren Valentia. Second son Mikael Ernhardt (7 years old), third daughter Asdel Ernhardt (5 years old).
Residence: Never left the Count Ernhardt’s Viscounty from age 0 to 13.
Hair Color: High saturation/brightness pastel pink.
Eye Color: Pale Crystal Blue.
Height / Weight: 155cm, 46kg.
Appearance: Overall inherited traits resemble the Duke Valentia Family. Particularly evaluated to have the same appearance as Seiren Valentia in her youth. Limbs are long and hands and feet are large relative to physique.
Social Relations: Has interacted annually with the sons of noble families with pro-Valentia leanings, such as Logan Servel, Shayden Rose, and Damian Christopher. Extremely scrupulous regarding relationships with women, resulting in no interaction with Young Ladies of the same age.
Special Notes: Archaic vocabulary choice creates distance from others. Values courtesy and hierarchy, but the standards are self-imposed. Underwent rigorous training within the family from age 5. Independently created and practiced an original Sword Art, recognized for martial prowess at the advanced Sword Expert level after his 12th birthday. Scheduled for early admission to the Academy at age 13, Year 20 of Beneto.
His maternal grandfather is the current Duke Valentia. Michael Ernhardt’s mother, Seiren Ernhardt, frequently exchanges correspondence with the Duke Valentia Family…」
Archaic vocabulary choice? Recalling that arrogant face that just stared without saying a word, as if asking ‘Why?’, I was once again dumbfounded.
‘Values courtesy and hierarchy, but the standards are self-imposed.’ Only now do I truly understand what that line means. He doesn’t see me as a superior.
So, Valentia has chosen the First Prince, as expected.
If that was his intention from the start, he shouldn’t have looked at me that way that day.
That day, we work-study students stood by the school gate to guide the lost freshmen. Afterward, we stood in a corner of the auditorium until the ceremony ended, running errands for the professors when asked.
The entrance ceremony was also the first day I saw Michael Ernhardt in person. He had a face hundreds of times more beautiful than in his portrait. It felt as if all the lights in the auditorium were focused on that one boy. The boy, who gathered hundreds of gazes, was composed, as if the envious looks of many were his due.
Then, at some point, he looked directly at me.
Did our eyes just meet? Why isn’t he looking away? His expression wasn’t one of fear, nor disgust. It was as if he were looking at something incredibly fascinating and wondrous, his lips parted in awe, his eyes twinkling with admiration, captivating people.
There were dozens of work-study students lined up just like me. His blue gaze, fixed on me without turning his head, momentarily bewildered me, and I looked around. But after looking several times, the boy was still looking at me. Without looking away at all, he met my eyes. It was a very strange and suspicious occurrence.
Few families would unhesitatingly choose the latter between the First Prince, born from a tragic love, with his noble golden hair and blue eyes, and the Second Prince, a product of a political marriage, born under the shadow of his brother on the darkest day of the year, with black hair and black eyes. Especially Valentia, who has been obsessed with the tale of love from generation to generation.
But why? What on earth is it? Did he receive prior notice? Why… is he smiling like that?
I was very flustered, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Valentia… It was a place I hadn’t even considered, but if they became an ally, I could secure an undeniably advantageous position. If Michael Ernhardt spoke to me first, I supposed I should at least pretend to be kind. I spent a long time pondering and agonizing, having never dealt with a child before. I even devoured some ridiculous parenting books…
But it was all a misunderstanding. I couldn’t believe I had harbored such foolish expectations. I felt so disgusted with myself that I gagged.
It’s fine.
Since the current Duke Yeldidus is in conflict with his successor, it won’t be difficult to use them. Grimsvein is already in my hands, and Withrow professes absolute neutrality, so there’s little need to interfere. Richard has already graduated, so even if he contacts Valentia, it won’t be through Michael Ernhardt.
It’s better to ignore it for now.
My chest felt increasingly tight and my anger flared, causing my strides to lengthen. Forget it. Don’t think about it. I repeated it to myself several times, but it was of little use. I thought he’d cling to me happily if we sat close, given how intently he looked, no… what, what ridiculous thought was that?
Frankly, I was embarrassed. I shouldn’t have done something so pointless.
It was the beginning of a miserable sleepless night.
Thursday of the third week of February. My sparring partner today was Walter Orgen.
Walter Orgen, who had been held back for several years, carried many rumors within the Academy. It was widely said that he was hiding his skills by frequently allowing shallow attacks while avoiding fatal ones.
It wasn’t even funny. No matter how great his skill, if he had no ambition and was just wasting time, the Orgen family’s empty reputation would end with him.
Today too, Walter Orgen focused all his attention on defense rather than offense. What fun is there in defeating someone who came to spar with no intention of winning? Without much thought, I attacked his widely known weak point, his left shoulder.
If Richard becomes Emperor, I will receive a nominal Grand Duke title or die. Of course, I had no intention of yielding the throne to that bastard Richard, but survival was paramount if I were to be sent to the provinces.
The Swordsmanship Department, which I chose because I might need to use force when necessary, suited me better than I expected. At least I ranked among the top in advanced swordsmanship classes.
As expected, after only a few exchanges, I could easily take the lead in the spar.
Rapid exchanges occurred multiple times.
Still, Walter Orgen was not a bad sparring partner. The sound of swords clashing, or rather, the sound of a hammer striking iron, echoed resoundingly in my ears and grip. Just as I was getting used to Orgen’s movements, dodging and parrying as if by design, even when I swung harder, faster.
Walter Orgen suddenly lowered his body. It was a movement I could easily follow, yet my body froze.
Right where my gaze fell, Michael Ernhardt was standing.
The wind blew. His fluffy, light pink hair scattered in the breeze. It looked like pink petals, out of season, scattering with the wind.
Ernhardt’s persistent gaze, which slowly traveled from my thigh to my elbow, to my sword-wielding hand, and then to my shoulder, finally met my face directly. Caught by his gaze, which looked at me without the slightest hesitation, I too was held captive.
Again.
Again…
Normally, I would have averted my gaze with annoyance, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so.
His plump, youthful cheeks were flushed red, and his sapphire eyes were moist and glistening, as if about to burst into tears.
Sunlight shattered and poured down. His sapphire eyes blinked several times. Under the sunlight, his gem-like eyes shone even more brilliantly.
That fleeting moment was etched in my mind like eternity.
Why… does he look at people like that?
When he didn’t even treat me like a person before.
Even looking again, his face was dazzlingly beautiful. His long eyelashes, round and gentle eyes, parted red lips, and his feather-light build that seemed like it would blow away if puffed at, were all clearly imprinted in my vision. He looked less like a boy learning swordsmanship and more like a girl who had just entered her Debutante season.
We continued to face each other with an inexplicable earnestness.
A part of my heart clenched with a snap. For some reason, I felt an overwhelming, bizarre urge to beg and plead, to say I was wrong and to please stop crying, which lodged itself in my throat.
It was like this last time too. I have no idea what he’s thinking. After acting like this, he’ll just turn away, ignoring me as if nothing happened, so why is he…
“You were doing so well, why did you suddenly get distracted? What do you mean by stopping right there?”
…
Professor Sanson’s voice, tinged with laughter, jolted me back to reality.
The tip of Walter Orgen’s sword was touching under my chin. Orgen, who was looking up at me with a bewildered expression despite having lost, made my face flush instantly.
What was I doing?
We were sparring. I was standing on the stage, sword in hand, so it wasn’t strange at all for Ernhardt to be looking at me. And yet, what was I…
My face grew hotter, and I bit the inside of my mouth to suppress my shame.
The class ended. As I endured the gazes directed at me, pretending to be unfazed, I suddenly felt curious and looked back towards Ernhardt. He was still looking at me with his round, moist eyes.
After gazing at me for a while, Michael tilted his head. The boy’s red lips formed a circle. Startled by what he might do in such a crowded place, my heart pounded. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I read the pronunciation his lips slowly formed.
‘Why.’
…Ah.
Ah.
Ah…
What the hell did I just think looking at that child, you crazy bastard.
A base revulsion crawled up my spine. Only now did I understand the origin of my unknown anxiety and anger.
It seemed I had harbored a faint liking for Michael Ernhardt and was hoping he would reciprocate, clinging to some trivial hope. Giving meaning to a single, thoughtless glance and following it with my eyes.
It’s a ridiculous act.
A boy eventually becomes a man.
Both William Ernhardt and Seiren Ernhardt are tall, so their son Michael Ernhardt will also grow tall quickly. And I have never in my life felt sexual attraction towards men. Naturally, I lived my sixteen years thinking that when the time came, I would seize the throne, marry a suitable Young Lady from a Marquess family, have children to pass on Divine Blood, and live my life.
So, I was certain that my restless heart would calm down once the boy’s beauty, which blurred gender lines, matured into a more masculine appearance. Even knowing such a future, I couldn’t do something foolish like provoking him and making an enemy of Valentia.
Seiren Valentia was famously beautiful in the previous generation and attracted many people, so it’s no wonder. Michael Ernhardt, if he grows up the same, will make many Young Ladies weep.
I forced myself to tear my gaze away, which kept wanting to fixate on Ernhardt. I couldn’t help but laugh at my own ridiculous state.
Lucilla, who had been looking at me with a strange expression, arbitrarily placed her hand on my forehead. The only person who could treat me with such familiarity was my full sibling, Lucilla.
“Hey, you have a fever.”
“…”
“Will you answer me? It’s no use worrying about you, you bastard.”
“…Hah.”
I brushed away her bothersome hand. Then, her hand touched my cheek again. It was equally bothersome. I pushed her hand away again with a casual flick. Lucilla then whispered.
“But… why is Young Master Ernhardt looking at you like that again? Like he’s looking at a lover from a past life, so incredibly moist… damp… Is he going to cry? He was like that last time too. As expected…”
That I was on Lucilla’s level.
I felt like an orangutan. My head throbbed. Sighing, I answered vaguely.
“He probably just looks like that.”
“Wow, you wouldn’t even bat an eye at that level of beauty? As expected, Your Highness Rubel the Statue, you’re nothing but a block of stone.”
“Don’t talk nonsense. He’s a boy.”
“Well, yes, but. If you could somehow charm him and get him involved with Valentia…”
I gave her a light shove on the shoulder. Lucilla, though loose-lipped, was not entirely lacking in sense and quickly shrugged and fell silent. I desperately tried to keep my gaze from drifting back towards Ernhardt.
‘Wouldn’t even bat an eye at that level of beauty?’
I wish it were so. I seem destined to go through some ridiculous adolescent phase.