By Zephyria I had no parents. Throughout my childhood, I never saw children my age who had parents.
I saw beasts that moved around with their mothers and young, but I never envied them. It was because I grew up thinking the Oasis was my parent. Later, I learned that wasn’t the case…
However, Hugh Benson seemed to have blamed himself for a long time over the thought I had recalled.
“That’s when I stole that kid’s dad, me. Even though I knew perfectly well why Dan hated me, I didn’t even say it wasn’t true. I was so greedy…”
“Shall I do it for you?”
The words blurted out, without much thought. Hugh, about to say something else, asked back in a bewildered voice.
“Do what?”
“Dad.”
“…You, you’re going to be my dad?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you crazy? How old are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then, damn it, call me ‘hyung’ from now on. You’re younger than me.”
“…Me?”
“If you don’t know your age, you’re younger than me. Shut up.”
“…”
Tap, tap. My rough-feeling hair brushed against my chest. Thump, thump. My heart beat with a similar rhythm.
Because we were pressed so close, the parts of our bodies that touched were warm. Hugh Benson’s voice had also softened to a warmth and gentleness I hadn’t heard in a while.
“Hey.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m really okay now. I, I…”
“I have to save you.”
“…Right. You, damn it, you’re going to save me. I’ll do the same for you, so you too.”
“Yeah.”
“Anyway, so stop worrying about useless things now. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“…We’ll leave right after you get some sleep.”
“Sleep here?”
“Of course. Sleep outside? It’s comfortable. Just sleep.”
It wasn’t comfortable at all.
My back was cold, and my chest was warm. Hugh’s hair tickled below my chin. As I held the warm, warm Hugh tightly, my lower abdomen ached. The white nape of his neck visible before my eyes looked delicious, and I felt hungry. I’d get scolded if I took a bite like this.
But since Hugh seemed genuinely happy for the first time in a long while, I just nodded.
“…Yeah.”
Spring arrived.
Michael’s dream story was forgotten like a joke.
When Michael heard that nothing had happened even after we went to Owen’s, he was greatly relieved and boasted again about how much fun he was having, just like before.
He talked about how he had reunited with the God of the Saras River in Yeldidus, how happy he was that the god had personally given his blessings to Yongyong, and how he got caught up in the current Duke Yeldidus’s various schemes for a proposal, which was tiring.
Every time Michael mentioned the current Duke Yeldidus, Hugh Benson clicked his tongue. He said Michael got involved in all sorts of useless things without even knowing the length of his own shadow. But Hugh seemed very happy when he said such things, so I just nodded along.
Recently, the Knights gathered for the land development project in Duke Ernhardt’s Territory spent their days patrolling the area, driving away monsters, dispersing contaminated mana, and searching through riverbanks, seashores, or abandoned mines. Afterwards, they would gather near their tents and rest by a bonfire.
During that time, Hugh Benson talked a lot about the period after Michael returned.
“When that sucker comes back, let’s ask for some land here, not just a house. So we can plant lettuce and stuff.”
“Yeah.”
“Marianne, she’s hopeless. She goes into the Magic Tower to research and doesn’t come out. What’s the point of earning money if you don’t know how to save it? As soon as something comes in, she spends it on materials for magic reagents… Her bank account has a huge hole in it. Isn’t that right?”
“That’s right.”
“All this land here is empty. We should ask them to combine this area from here to there and build my house.”
Samantha, unable to listen any longer, butted into the conversation.
“Don’t talk nonsense, Hugh Benson.”
“Why. Do you think you wouldn’t give it?”
“Have you forgotten you’re an Imperial Knight? You should have some decency, not act like you’re collecting debt.”
“Well, the Imperial Knights should be in the capital. Your Majesty, whom you must protect, seems to be settling down here, so… then you’re working on a business trip. If there are no rooms at the inn, I’ll give you one, out of generosity. 2 gold per night.”
When the two bickered, Hugh always won. Samantha sighed deeply and got up. I didn’t understand why she always came to sit next to me when she was going to run away like this every time.
As I watched her walk away with angry strides, Hugh wrapped an arm around my shoulder and chattered playfully.
“You too, speaking of which. You should settle down now.”
“Yeah.”
“If you get a new house, you should get married too.”
“Yeah.”
I nodded quietly. Hugh, who had brought it up, looked even more surprised.
“What the hell. Are you nodding without knowing what I’m talking about? Do you have someone to marry?”
“Yeah.”
“…Huh? …You do?”
“Yeah.”
“Who… Who?”
“…”
What is he talking about? I looked at Hugh Benson quietly.
Now that Michael and Rubel were married, same-sex marriage was possible in the Sierran Empire. If marriage meant living together regardless of gender, then I had only one person to marry.
“…”
“…”
“…Me?”
“Yeah.”
“…W-what crazy talk is this. What, damn it, are you saying that makes no sense? Forget it, get lost, you bastard. You and I… it’s not right.”
“Why?”
“Why? It’s just not right. No, do you even know what marriage is?”
“Yeah.”
“…No, you don’t seem to know.”
“Why?”
“No, what…”
It’s strange. Hugh Benson’s face turned blue, then red, then white. I reached out to touch his face, wondering if he was sick, but he ran away. Why is he acting like this all of a sudden? I just stared blankly, and then he disappeared from my sight.
Is he going to the bathroom? I didn’t pay much attention.
But from that very day, Hugh Benson changed like a different person. It was as if the fact that he used to stick by my side when we ate, rested, or slept was a lie. He hid next to or behind other Knights, stealing glances at me.
Even when I warmed a spot for him, he wouldn’t sit there, and he wouldn’t eat the meals I prepared for him.
One time, I moved aside from a spot I had warmed for him, thinking it was warm enough, and he said something strange again.
“You… Are you doing this with ulterior motives too?”
“?”
“Ah, no. What am I even… What am I talking to you about.”
This was also strange. Hugh and I didn’t need to communicate with words. There was so much I could understand just by looking into his eyes. Hugh often looked into my eyes too, so I thought it was the same, but was it not?
It was truly strange.
Even if Hugh didn’t sit, warming a spot first became a habit. As I sat alone on a suitable rock, Hugh Benson, who had been stretching his legs far away, strode over and asked something strange.
“Hey. Do you know what a kiss is?”
…Is there someone who doesn’t know that?
I was so bewildered that I didn’t answer, but Hugh covered his face with both hands and let out a huge sigh, “Haaaaaa.” What was it? Was there another kind of kiss? Why was he asking this? After pondering for a while, I moved two hand spans away and sat down. Hugh glanced at me and sat in the spot I had vacated.
Then, smack.
Holding his chin with one hand, I pressed my lips to his cheek.
“Ugh!”
The smack and the thud happened almost simultaneously. After being hit in the abdomen with an aura-infused fist, stars flashed before my eyes for a moment. Staring up in bewilderment and surprise, Hugh, who had sprung up, ran away a distance, panting with a bright red face.
A Knight, who had been watching me with a serious expression, approached and carefully handed me a handkerchief. He seemed to be two years my junior. I looked up at the familiar face blankly and accepted what he gave me.
“…Sir Brooks.”
“Yeah.”
“Just in case, I’m telling you this… Unwanted physical contact is violence. You shouldn’t do that.”
“Physical contact?”
“…Yes, uh, for example, like just now… kissing, or, anything that shouldn’t be done by force.”
“Mating?”
“…M-mating, yes, uh… That too.”
“We didn’t mate just now.”
“…I suppose so… But… Please refrain…”
“…Okay.”
I was dejected.
The ground melted, and sprouts emerged.
The foundation work for Duke Ernhardt’s Territory was completed, and the construction of the castle walls began.
The process of deeply embedding the rebar brought on carts to set up the frame, and Spirit Masters and Wizards working together to dig a moat on the spot, then stacking the excavated earth into solid brick shapes, required a lot of labor.
During that time, the Knights stood or sat scattered around, guarding the surroundings and observing.
Kiss. Physical contact. And mating.
Until now, I had never thought about mating with Hugh Benson. I knew that all animals in the world had males and females, and that mating was for producing offspring. But until now, I had never thought that Hugh and I would need to mate…
Was it because of mating that Hugh and I couldn’t get married?
Can’t we just do it?
Come to think of it, jackals, meerkats, desert foxes, and even eagles sometimes rubbed their bodies against those of the same sex. So, as a human superior to beasts, what couldn’t I do? Of course, I hadn’t received Hugh’s permission yet… and they said I shouldn’t force it…
Can I do it?
Today, Hugh Benson stood on top of a carriage, watching the construction site.
As a small site supervisor standing next to him said various things to Hugh, Hugh nodded, raising one hand to point here and there, asking something. His shirt cuffs were slightly rolled up, revealing his round wrist bones.
Not just his wrists. Hugh had a lean body, so his joints were prominent all over.
When he bent his head forward, there was a round bone protruding at the back of his neck. What if I bit that? It was about the size of an alsa candy, so it might taste sweet if I did it right.
I recalled the night I spent holding Hugh in the cave, the slender waist that had been wrapped around my arm. Should I have touched it more? I couldn’t quite remember its thickness.
To mate, I’d have to undress him first, wouldn’t I?
The last time I had seen Hugh Benson’s bare body was a long time ago, during our Academy days. When we went on the expedition to subdue the Yuil Mountains, we didn’t wash for several days because it was dangerous, and if it became unbearable, we used Clean Artifacts.
Still, I vividly remembered how his bones were particularly prominent on his pale skin. Hugh, especially, had so little flesh on his limbs that his elbows looked sharp. If we overlapped our forearms, they would fit in my one hand.
“…”
“…”
Our eyes met. For some reason, Hugh covered one forearm with his other hand. Why?
Anyway, I continued my thoughts. Hugh had no flesh on his hips either. I remembered his thigh skin was particularly pale, and blue veins were visible. I was more surprised by how vivid the memory was, thinking how could I have forgotten this.
In an instant, Hugh Benson, naked in my imagination, glared at me and hid behind the site supervisor standing beside him. And he mouthed the words: Don’t look.
Can’t I even look? I felt upset that he was becoming increasingly harsh with me.