By Zephyria 
* * *
Joo Tae-hyun pursed his lips into a sharp point, as if he had more to say. The space between his lightly furrowed brows… was cute. Befitting someone his age.
Back then, I hadn’t realized he knew how to make such an expression. Naturally. I had never spoken with him like this before.
“……If you didn’t come all this way because of a pheromone anomaly, then fine.”
Still, it felt good to know that he seemed to have some understanding of my situation. To feel so lonely yet so full. Seo Baek-han was enveloped in inexplicable emotions and let out a faint laugh.
Imprinting is not some mystical phenomenon based on emotion. I majored in morphology and, using that as my stepping stone, rose to become the youngest Director of the Royal Hospital, so I knew better than anyone. It’s not something lovers or spouses can choose to imprint, nor can they break it.
My head knows this well, but I don’t know why my heart aches so much. It feels like I’ve received confirmation that Joo Tae-hyun has completely let go of my hand.
“I never thought I could live my whole life without seeing you, anyway. Honestly, Hyung, you make me very uncomfortable, but I will definitely do what I have to do.”
As he said that, Joo Tae-hyun rolled up his sleeves, which felt like an obstruction. Seo Baek-han gazed at the unfamiliar way he carried himself. The way he adjusted his collar or cared for his shoes was just as I had taught him, but this was the first time I’d seen him casually fold his sleeves up like that.
Barely a little over three months. Just over 100 days.
In that short span of time, twenty-six-year-old Joo Tae-hyun had begun to learn how to fly on his own.
The suddenly widened distance finally hit my skin.
“Probably, similar things will repeat several times, right? Hyung will suddenly show up without warning, and each time I’ll be flustered……”
Joo Tae-hyun continued speaking without looking at Seo Baek-han. If the Joo brothers were here, they might have applauded Joo Tae-hyun for saying that. That’s how resolute and clear his expression of intent was.
“But Hyung. Even if, to you, I might seem no different from the Joo Tae-hyun of the past… the current me has changed, just a little, a very little. That’s how I feel.”
The end of his voice occasionally trembled, and the pitch of his voice wasn’t consistent, but he didn’t seem to mind and continued speaking. As if he had cast aside any obsession with perfection far away.
“In the past, I always thought I was just spinning my wheels, but to put it another way… I was just continuously, steadily liking you.”
It’s a bit embarrassing to be spouting self-reflection out of nowhere, like a recommended book for teenagers. Joo Tae-hyun mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.
“…So, what I want to say is. I am moving forward, even if it’s just little by little. I’m trying very hard… very, very hard to do so.”
Over the dark, heavy eyes I had seen last night, the shadow of light rippled like waves.
“From your perspective, seeing me run away blindly like yesterday, you might be wondering what this kid is even talking about.”
Hmm, Joo Tae-hyun cleared his throat and paused to gather his thoughts.
“But… at least, I’m not crying pathetically, right? Even when I see you.”
“……”
“I sometimes criticize myself, asking if I’m boasting about something so trivial, but what matters is my heart, isn’t it?”
That’s how I feel.
Perhaps it was because he had poured out everything he wanted to say. Joo Tae-hyun’s earlobes turned slightly red, looking somewhat embarrassed, but he seemed incredibly relieved.
“……Yes. I understand what you want to say.”
Seo Baek-han looked at Joo Tae-hyun, taking him in with his eyes and heart, and nodded his head obediently. Wouldn’t anyone in my position have no choice but to do the same?
When did it start? Perhaps from the very beginning. Joo Tae-hyun acted mature beyond his years. He seemed unable to forgive even his own small mistakes, and I had thought his strict standards and high ideals were very similar to mine. It was probably largely because of that that I opened my heart to Joo Tae-hyun so quickly.
Joo Tae-hyun had meticulously understood his own disposition and temperament, and acted accordingly. Because he liked me. Because he wanted to hear even a speck of affection, or even a warm word, from me.
And now, that Joo Tae-hyun was calmly informing me that he had given up on everything.
He had honestly confessed that he could cry when angry, and that he sometimes stagnated.
Joo Tae-hyun, who was practicing accepting himself as he was and embracing it all, was indescribably dazzling. So much so that if I could, I would tear this moment out and preserve it in my mind forever.
“That’s right, that’s why I like you.”
Joo Tae-hyun’s eyes widened at the confession that slipped out before I knew it.
“I knew you were that kind of person.”
Ah, I didn’t intend to convey it like this. The feelings I had never even spoken aloud, feelings that were already several steps too late, poured out uncontrollably.
“I like you.”
“……”
“I like you, Joo Tae-hyun.”
Why hadn’t I thought to say it sooner? I could have realized it instantly just by murmuring it aloud…
Even as I had such belated thoughts, I was reminded again that I had plenty of opportunities. It was none other than Seo Baek-han himself who had squandered that precious time, who had been too busy denying it, trapped by prejudice.
“……The timing, though.”
Joo Tae-hyun, who had been blinking his eyes in bewilderment for a long time, soon muttered with a hollow laugh.
That was all.
He didn’t yell that I was crazy or get angry, nor did he resent me and cry. He simply laughed listlessly and turned his body.
Seo Baek-han, who had only been watching Joo Tae-hyun, felt strength surge into his feet. Emitting peach-scented pheromones that only Joo Tae-hyun couldn’t perceive, he stood beside Joo Tae-hyun as if nothing had happened.
“Still, it’s a more positive reaction than I expected? Thank you.”
“……”
“No one died, so correcting a mismatched tense isn’t impossible.”
When I insisted unreasonably, Joo Tae-hyun turned away from Seo Baek-han, as if he had nothing more to hear.
“I prepared diligently too. I was worried sick because I’m not good at seducing anyone, you know.”
As I exaggerated my complaints, Joo Tae-hyun quietly bit his lower lip. It wasn’t a sign of him holding back laughter. It was probably him trying not to get angry? I don’t know why I feel so good when I’m poking the nerves of someone I need to impress.
Seo Baek-han felt an emptiness, yet simultaneously a fullness incomparable to before. Due to these inexplicable, contradictory emotions, he couldn’t help but grin like a person with a screw loose.
When you truly like someone, does everyone become like this?
“……You’d be my ex-spouse preparing for divorce proceedings, wouldn’t you.”
“You and I are both Korean, so what need is there for such grand terms? Legally in Korea, we are still married.”
“Hyung, really-.”
“Was it 14 years?”
“You’re only saying what you want to say again, Hyung.”
“Haha, bear with me. It’s just that it feels so new.”
When we first met… you were twelve, weren’t you? I remember it being that way.
“Tae-hyun, you said I was your first love. Then from then until now, it’s 14 years… yes, this time it’s my turn to chase you for 14 years.”
“……What did you say?”
Joo Tae-hyun narrowed his eyes as if to doubt if the person before him was truly Seo Baek-han.
“Then, from 15 years later, you’ll live with me again, won’t you?”
It was a fluttery confession that he had never uttered to anyone he met.
A confession full of uncertainty, the kind a pubescent boy in a fever might make.
However, Joo Tae-hyun was the first exception Seo Baek-han had ever encountered in his life, the only unpredictable variable. The moment he acknowledged that, it was natural that he could no longer treat Joo Tae-hyun as a constant.
“Sigh, Hyung… you really are.”
「Aargh! Be careful there!」
Just as I was about to turn the corner towards the small auditorium, a heavy wagon suddenly charged towards Seo Baek-han and Joo Tae-hyun, accompanied by a voice that sounded strangely familiar. It seemed unable to withstand the weight of the cargo as it veered sharply.
「Eek, Tae-hyun, I’m sorry! Are you okay?」
It was Liam.
Despite causing an incident that could have been a major accident, he flailed about noisily. He even pretended not to see Seo Baek-han, rushing towards Joo Tae-hyun with a tearful face.
What could possibly be so bothersome about a child acting childishly? However, it was deeply displeasing that he had put Joo Tae-hyun in danger in an attempt to get his attention.
I’ll have to have a talk with him later. Seo Baek-han clicked his tongue inwardly and checked on Joo Tae-hyun.
“Are you okay?”
Fortunately, it was loaded with books and some experimental equipment; there were no dangerous items.
“I’m fine, but……”
Thanks to him immediately pulling Joo Tae-hyun behind him, he was unharmed. Seo Baek-han also had only a slight tear on his palm, with no major injuries.
“Hyung. Is your hand bleeding?”
“Ah……”
Seo Baek-han, who had been casually checking his condition, belatedly realized and clenched his hand tightly. Being close to Joo Tae-hyun, his bleeding had already begun to stop. His body was regenerating at an abnormal speed in response to his imprinting partner’s pheromones.
Hmm, this has become a bit troublesome.
“Ah, Tae-hyun. Actually, there was one more thing I wanted to say yesterday.”
Seo Baek-han hid his dripping hand behind his back and spoke playfully.
“I moved in next door to you.”
“……”
“Please take care of me for the time being.”
Joo Tae-hyun’s face, which had seemed worried about Seo Baek-han for a moment, turned ice-cold.
「Tae-hyun, are you okay? But why are you two talking in a language only you understand? I’m curious too.」
Towards Joo Tae-hyun, who was turning away from him, I shouted out grandly, “I’ll treat you to a meal to celebrate moving in,” and then examined the injured part.
Looking at his palm, which now only had a faint red scratch, Seo Baek-han clicked his tongue.
“……Should I tear my own flesh?”
I hoped Joo Tae-hyun wouldn’t worry about my state of unilateral imprinting. I didn’t want to burden him with this when he was already troubled.
Well, if he’s observing me closely enough to find my wound suspicious… that would be welcome.