By Zephyria 
Leaving only a note saying I’d be back for Ruben, I boarded the carriage heading to the Sapphire Palace.
I properly fastened my vest, jacket, and tie. I also made sure I had my cufflinks and confirmed the tiara, meant as a gift, was securely placed inside its jewelry box. I even left my sword, which I usually kept at my waist, behind. Though I felt my attire was impeccable, I was restless because I couldn’t get Ruben’s final approval.
The encounter with the Dragon’s Lair feels like ages ago, but it was only this past Thursday that I met Melatia Floyd. I couldn’t believe that the Empress Dowager already knew about something that happened just three days ago and intended to interrogate me.
I had expected at least a week.
My plan was to present the gift first and then, when the time was right, slowly bring up the topic. But why has everything become so urgent? Anxious and impatient, the carriage felt like it was moving faster than usual. Even though the speed of carriages within the Imperial Palace is all about the same.
As soon as the attendant at the Sapphire Palace saw my face, they ushered me into the dining hall. The fact that no one asked why I was there only heightened my tension.
The Empress Dowager was in the middle of her meal. She sat alone with five or six dishes laid out on white tableware, but the portion sizes were modest, unlike last time.
Seeing me, the Empress Dowager quietly wiped her lips with a napkin. I bowed first.
“Have you been well, Your Highness?”
“Duke Ernhardt, have you already eaten?”
“Yes? Well,”
“If you do not wish to dine with me, I shall have the meal cleared now.”
“Not yet! Not yet, I haven’t. If you would serve it, I will eat it deliciously.”
“Sit down.”
Why would she make such a chilling joke? Or, was it even a joke?
I answered hastily and looked around. The attendant who had guided me brought over a chair and set it for me. They provided me with cutlery, water, and wine, which I gratefully accepted.
It was a small table, not unlike those used for tea time. The distance was so close that I could meet the Empress Dowager’s gaze just by lifting my head.
While I carefully ate the pre-meal soup, the Empress Dowager did not eat. Her gaze, which slowly scanned me, made my throat feel like it was closing. I finished the bowl of soup silently, maintaining the most polite demeanor.
This won’t do. I have to say something.
“The soup is very delicious.”
“I’m glad it suits your taste. His Majesty the current Emperor does not touch anything with a strong aroma.”
“May I ask the name of the herb?”
“It’s called cilantro.”
“Cilantro…”
“I heard you don’t have any particular food preferences, is that correct?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“And I heard you enjoy tea time, is that also correct?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Was your tea time with Melatia Floyd enjoyable?”
“…”
My throat was parched, but I couldn’t drink water. After a moment’s hesitation, I quickly bowed my head.
“I apologize.”
“For what?”
“For acting without your permission, for meddling in Your Highness’s affairs,”
“You thought she might harm me, didn’t you?”
I now knew who had informed the Empress Dowager. Melatia Floyd had reported it herself.
“She apologized to me.”
“…”
“Even though it was an apology I hadn’t received for years, I didn’t feel particularly happy. I ended up troubling an innocent person, both her and Duke Ernhardt.”
Ruben and the Empress Dowager had many similarities. Like Ruben, when he was disappointed or hurt, the Empress Dowager’s voice was strangely subdued.
I felt extremely embarrassed and squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them again. The Empress Dowager’s gaze was still fixed directly on my face.
“I am sorry… I am.”
“Sincerely?”
The Empress Dowager’s voice remained flat.
“It’s quite strange. I thought Duke Ernhardt was quite intelligent…”
“…”
“Which one is your true self?”
The Empress Dowager picked up her wine glass. The clear liquid in the transparent glass looked like water, but if it was the same as what was in my glass, it was quite strong.
After emptying her wine glass with a calm expression, the Empress Dowager continued speaking softly.
“Melatia’s matter is not my shame. That woman is the former Emperor’s stain, and she has nothing to do with me. If you tried to manipulate me with her affairs, you were mistaken.”
“I never thought that…!”
“There was a question I asked before that I never received an answer to. I don’t know if you remember it.”
Which one?
Kate Antines’s eyes were a poisonous emerald green. Her deep, shadowed gaze could easily appear indifferent. However, familiar with Ruben, I could easily read the mockery in her eyes.
“Duke Ernhardt, do you believe Beneto was unfaithful?”
“Yes.”
This time, I could answer immediately.
One of Kate’s eyebrows rose slightly. I didn’t know what answer she wanted. But I knew very well the answer Ruben wanted from me.
“I believe it is right and proper by law to devote one’s body and soul to one’s spouse. His Majesty the former Emperor, who idly indulged his heart, clearly committed a moral failing.”
“Even though Melatia knew nothing at all?”
“Some might not consider that infidelity for such a reason. But I do.”
There was silence for a moment.
A maidservant still stood behind me on my left. Two more maids stood behind her. This was the Empress Dowager’s domain. A place where any conversation could be held with confidence, where there was a firm belief that the words spoken here would not leak outside, filling the space with silence.
A maidservant approached carefully and refilled her empty glass. Kate smiled at the maidservant and took a sip. Then she asked.
“If Rubel were to cheat in the same way, Duke Ernhardt, how would you act?”
I took a sip of wine myself. I answered with as much sincerity and gravity as I could.
“I… have also thought about that a lot.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. Perhaps it won’t happen in this life, but what if Ruben doesn’t recognize me when I’m reborn? If Ruben doesn’t remember me at all, he might come to care for someone else. Even if he gives me his body, I wouldn’t be able to read his true feelings.”
“…Huh?”
That was right. The Ninth God despaired and suffered so much because the fragments of the first human did not love him. Promising a future life is an uncertain prospect for both humans and gods.
This is even more so on this continent, where souls are more often born divided into hundreds or thousands than born as a single unified soul.
“But no matter how much I think about it… it’s hard to imagine Rubel not loving me. So, if such a thing were to happen, I’ve decided to hold the child and ask for an honest conversation then. Isn’t the beginning of all misunderstandings the inability to speak one’s heart openly?”
“Are you now… to me…”
“No, no. I’m not blaming Your Highness the Empress Dowager.”
Facing my mother-in-law, who glared at me, I placed my hands on my knees.
“It’s because I am a human who knows neither shame nor modesty when it comes to love.”
“…”
“…”
“Are we at a point where Duke Ernhardt and I can exchange such jokes?”
“…”
I knew best that I lacked eloquence. Instead of arguing back, I simply maintained a quiet, polite demeanor and stared intently into my mother-in-law’s eyes.
Her eyebrows, which had inadvertently met my gaze in a stare-down, slightly rose before returning to their original position. My mother-in-law picked up a fan placed on the side of the table with her right hand, then put it down again.
After a few seconds of exchanged silence, she muttered in a voice that sounded like she was chewing on gravel.
“…Are you saying that entering the Crystal Palace and freely moving between His Majesty’s bedroom and office, even before the wedding, is also because of love?”
“That…”
What was the boundary for speaking to my mother-in-law? After a brief contemplation, I opened my mouth.
“Yes. That’s right. I couldn’t take my eyes off him for even a moment, so I acted improperly, knowing it was against the law. I felt like I would never meet anyone as cute as him in this life, and I was so anxious and impatient, fearing someone else might take him. I am truly sorry for not seeking your permission beforehand.”
“…”
Now is the time.
I took out the jewelry box I had cherished and placed it on the empty space on the table. The attendant behind me opened the jewelry box first to inspect it. I knew why he brought his face close to the box, gasped, and then ran his bare hand over it. He was checking for poison.
After a simple procedure, the jewelry box was passed to the Empress Dowager’s hands. The elder, having confirmed the valuable item, opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. I could tell from her eyes that she immediately recognized the history of this jewel.
“I was fortunate enough to bring a considerable dowry, Mother-in-law.”
“…”
“I am well aware that Ruben is not of a station to soil his hands. However, separately from that, I am confident that I can protect both his heart and body from hardship for the rest of his life. As Ruben is ambitious, I will work diligently to fulfill his needs. I beg you, please grant me this marriage.”
“…What kind of work, and how do you plan to do it?”
“My priority will be to sequentially carry out the tasks Ruben assigns. For now, it will be to travel the country planting sacred trees to purify the land or to take the lead where force is needed.”
“…”
“However, separately from that, as you, Mother-in-law, still have many years left to live, please watch me and scold me whenever you disapprove. I will listen and act accordingly.”
“…Why you?”
“Because you are Ruben’s only mother.”
I added a bit of flattery.
“Ruben loves you very much, Your Highness.”
“What, that’s absurd.”
“Seeing him by his side, I couldn’t bear to leave him alone. I will act as a son in Ruben’s stead and be affectionate, so I hope Your Highness will also look upon Ruben’s stubbornness with affection.”
The Empress Dowager’s mouth, which had opened as if to say more, closed tightly.
❖ ❖ ❖
“Mika!”
As soon as I returned to the Crystal Palace, Ruben leaped into my arms.
The child had a very anxious look on his face. To comfort him, I kissed his cheeks and the area below his ears a couple of times. Clinging to my upper arms, the child lifted his head and scanned my face thoroughly. Was he worried I had been slapped? Of course not.
Even seeing my composed expression, Ruben fussed incessantly.
“No, if they called you, you shouldn’t have just gone without any preparation…!”
“I did well. I even brought back a gift.”
I handed him what I held in my hand, and Ruben bared his teeth and began to unwrap it.
It was a chocolate cookie packed with almonds and cranberries. After confirming the contents, Ruben, as if it were natural, sniffed the lingering scent of the chocolate cookie and took a bite to check for poison.
He worries about everything. I am immune to all poisons and possess a tongue that can distinguish even colorless and odorless toxins. Having eaten a couple on the way, I knew the cookies were perfectly fine, so I just let him do as he pleased.
Once Ruben confirmed there was no poison in the cookie, he calmed down.
“…”
“Is all your work finished? If you have time, let’s have some tea.”
“…Yes. You worked hard…”
“It was no hardship.”
What was this compared to hardship? I smiled it away with a heart full of contentment.