By Zephyria 
From the carriage to the corridor, from the corridor to the bedroom terrace, we moved.
During this time, the child spoke intermittently. Occasionally, when a servant or maidservant approached from a distance, he would pause, but as soon as the figures moved away, he would speak again.
The stories he had held onto for so long possessed a power to chill the listener’s heart.
“⋯I was a child who was fast at everything. Lucilla wasn’t.”
Rubel was born slightly larger than Lucilla.
Thinking back now, it was probably because Rubel was born with a larger, stronger soul, but at the time, the mischievous wet nurse would often joke that Rubel had clearly greedily eaten all the nourishment meant for Lucilla. Young Ruben agreed with this opinion.
To Rubel, his younger sibling, who was weaker and smaller than him, was an incomprehensible being.
Ruben, whose ears opened early, disliked his own immature pronunciation and lived a life of few words, but Lucilla was not like that. In all the moments Rubel remembered, Lucilla, to use Rubel’s own expression, would flail and make strange “uga-uga” noises as if she were a monkey amazed to have a mouth, every single day.
Ruben liked to watch his sibling, who was barely a finger’s length smaller than him. Lucilla was pathetic in many moments, sometimes amusing, and very occasionally, tolerable.
Ruben stood up before Lucilla, sat down before her, and walked before her.
Then Lucilla would struggle to stand up, sit down, and walk, following Rubel.
Ruben and Lucilla were constantly cared for by wet nurses and maidservants. Sometimes, the escort knights would join in, performing strange dances to entertain the children. At that time, Rubel and Lucilla received quite a lot of love in the Ruby Palace.
Kate Anti Sieron would visit only once or twice a month. On those days, everyone who had been lively would quietly hold their breath and bow their heads.
The silence that descended whenever their mother visited frightened young Lucilla.
Young Rubel therefore hated Kate. The layers of melancholy and arrogance surrounding her, and the gaze that looked upon him and Lucilla as if they were something she intensely disliked, were chilling even to a young heart.
“It must have been just after I turned three by the lunar calendar. As soon as my mother became convinced I was smarter than other children, she sat me and Lucilla down at a desk together. I know the reason now, but I didn’t then.”
“⋯.”
“Normally, Richard would also have been educated by Mother, but⋯. It seems Beneto personally took care of Richard until he was eight. I don’t know if he didn’t trust Mother, or if he was trying to read Melatia in Richard’s face.”
Ruben gave a bitter laugh and burrowed into my embrace on the armchair. I let his long legs rest on the armrest so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable, and wrapped my left arm around his waist, pulling him close. Rubel laughed and took my free hand, fiddling with my fingers.
The tips of his fingers were as cold as ever today.
“Anyway, Mother⋯. She wouldn’t have wanted to lose. Coincidentally, I seemed to have the same vocabulary as Richard⋯. I could read and understand books. She wanted to boast that she had given birth to a superior child.”
“⋯.”
“But Richard is only three years older than us. The younger you are, the bigger the difference one year makes.”
“⋯.”
“She hit him a lot⋯. Not me, but Lucilla.”
“⋯Ah.”
“That was truly⋯. Humiliating. Because I thought it was happening because I was powerless then.”
I couldn’t help but let out a sigh.
Ruben made excuses in a softened voice. It was unclear who he was defending.
“Thinking about it again now, we were quite young then, and Lucilla was prone to exaggeration, crying hysterically⋯. She probably wasn’t hit that hard. At that time, disciplining children with a switch wasn’t something that was widely condemned. But still, I was very angry then⋯.”
“⋯Yes.”
“I decided I would get revenge.”
In the Central Plains, I and my relatives took up swords at the age of five.
Children with underdeveloped bodies struggled to maintain a half-stance in a horse stance. We cried a lot and were scolded a lot. Sometimes, if we didn’t listen, we were slapped. At that time, seeing children being hit made me scared, so I acted more diligently.
However, Ruben, who was younger than I was then, was not scared. Instead, he harbored a sharp sword in his heart.
He didn’t directly attack his mother or cause a scene openly. Ruben, from a very young age, was capable of more rational thought. This is, of course, relative to his peers.
“⋯When you turn five, you have a birthday party. That’s when I first saw Beneto’s face. I knew the concepts of father and mother, but he was a strange adult, so I didn’t really think of him as my father. Before that⋯.”
“⋯.”
“I learned that he was the strongest person in this land. I thought I wanted to be like that too.”
“⋯And so?”
“When he asked what I wanted for my birthday present, I told him to assign a new palace and an excellent tutor to me and Lucilla, respectively. I said I didn’t like Mother’s method of discipline.”
“⋯.”
“I thought it was revenge, but that⋯.”
“⋯.”
“My mother’s expression then⋯. I still can’t forget it.”
Rubel, his face pale, burrowed into my embrace. Ruben, who clung to me tightly like a child who had seen something terrifying, his breath moist.
I ruffled his hair and then stroked it gently from top to bottom. Doing this, I felt a sense of closeness with Rubel that hadn’t been there before.
He said he didn’t remember because he was too young, but he had kept such sorrowful feelings hidden away until now. Fortunately, I was now in a position to soothe Rubel’s wounds. I kissed the forehead of the panting Rubel a few times and waited for him to speak next.
Ruben continued speaking calmly.
“Since Richard was also turning eight and due to receive his palace, all three of us received our own palaces and became independent. And for about three years after that⋯. I barely saw my mother. I liked it. I thought I had defeated the monster that had invaded my life.”
“⋯.”
“But Lucilla didn’t seem to. She asked why Mother didn’t come to see us anymore, and I had no answer. She was foolish from a young age⋯. And affectionate⋯. She started to resent me because she missed the woman who only came to scold her a few times a week. So I went to see her again, and regretted it again.”
“⋯.”
“She still wanted only me, who would trample and crush the cunning Richard to become Emperor, not Lucilla, who was desperately yearning for her mother’s embrace.”
The child took a deep breath. My chin tickled, but I didn’t pull away. I simply patted his broad back with the hand that was stroking his hair.
Ruben, after a moment of thought, quickly recited in a dry voice.
“We still visited occasionally after that.”
“Why was that?”
“Because Lucilla⋯. She dragged me along whenever she wanted to see her. Instinctively, she was afraid of being left alone with Kate, or something⋯.”
A sigh escaped me. Rubel laughed emptily.
“At least I declared I would become Emperor, so I received some support from my maternal relatives and was treated with some respect by Mother⋯. But Lucilla⋯. We both resemble Beneto a lot, especially our eyes. It must have been bothersome for her to look at us.”
“⋯.”
“When I grew a bit older, I understood why Mother wanted to educate us strictly, why she disliked us, and why First Prince Richard didn’t associate with us. I thought I understood enough to be able to comprehend it⋯. But I couldn’t quite do it.”
“⋯.”
“Back then, perhaps I admired Beneto as a form of rebellion against Mother. Father was always distant, using the excuse of being busy, so there was nothing to fear or dislike. Thinking about it now, that bastard is indeed the most infuriating one.”
“⋯.”
“I still think both of them were not good as parents. There’s nothing to forgive or not forgive now. It’s just⋯. It’s just, now I⋯.”
“⋯.”
“⋯I’m afraid you’ll look at me strangely⋯.”
Oh dear.
I held Rubel’s body tightly, enclosing him in my embrace. Rubel, who knew very well that I could lift him with one hand, never hesitated to lean his full weight on me.
“Why would I look at Rubel strangely?”
“⋯I⋯.”
Rubel’s voice grew even smaller.
“⋯lied.”
“Rubel?”
“Yes. I was ashamed that I pretended to have grown up loved, just to look good to you⋯. And everyone in House Ernhardt was very kind to me, but I couldn’t expect that from my mother, so I felt guilty. Still, I knew you would say it was okay, but still, just⋯.”
“That’s natural, of course,”
“But I actually⋯. I thought I could get through today without any conflict, just by smiling. I was expecting a little. So, it was already⋯. It was all arranged by letter. We’ve talked about it many times, it’s all decided⋯. All that was needed was for you to say ‘let’s do it that way.’ But you had to, in front of me, again, you had to⋯.”
I wondered what expression the child had on his face right now.
Curious, I gently pushed Rubel away. He tried to hide his face, but soon I saw his reddened eyes and bitten lips. I kissed those pitiful eyes with a smacking sound and gently stroked his lower lip with my fingertip, comforting him.
“I am only glad that your mother-in-law did not hold back the words she wanted to say today.”
“⋯.”
“I also learned that Rubel cherished his only sibling dearly from a young age⋯. And that I have gained the opportunity to comfort Rubel like this.”
“⋯.”
“However, what I am curious about is, now that Rubel has become Emperor according to your mother-in-law’s wishes, why do you and she seem to be in opposition? I don’t quite understand the reason.”
“⋯I was thinking about it as I was talking just now.”
Rubel’s sigh tickled my fingertips.
“⋯Perhaps Mother thinks I will⋯. Dismantle the imperial family to get revenge on her.”
“⋯What?”