By Zephyria 
I sat facing Rubel in my room’s reception area.
The child had been breathing heavily with tension right up until entering the room, but only calmed down after finishing a cup of tea and taking a bite of a cookie.
I wondered if they had never been invited to a friend’s room before, and found it both pitiable and endearing.
Since the child said they had something they wanted to say, it was the virtue of an adult to wait. I also sat and waited for a long time, munching on cookies. Only the crunching sound echoed softly in the quiet room.
When I swallowed my third cookie, Rubel cautiously opened his mouth.
“It’s about… marriage between men.”
“Yes.”
“I think it’s… absolutely necessary.”
“Why?”
The child squeezed their eyes shut and then opened them.
“If two people love each other, there’s no reason for anyone else to… say it’s not love.”
“I see.”
Love. What on earth was that?
I sank deep into the sofa. The soft, high-quality sofa comfortably supported my leaning body, giving me a cozy feeling. Looking at the child from that position, my eyes naturally fell.
Rubel looked a little bewildered.
“…Is that all?”
“Pardon?”
“I want to hear… what Young Master Ernhardt thinks.”
I didn’t answer immediately.
It was because I was contemplating how to phrase it. It took some time to organize my thoughts. The child seemed thirsty, gulping down their tea, so I reached out and refilled their teacup once more.
“To be honest, it doesn’t feel close to me because it’s not my business.”
“…Because it’s not your business?”
“Yes. I just feel that what you’re saying is also right, as I listen to you, Senior.”
I pondered for a moment. Rubel was a child I could trust as much as Shayden. A comrade. I calmly adjusted my voice.
“As I said before… I’ve never considered having a soulmate in my life. I vaguely thought about wanting children, but even that thought has faded now.”
“…”
“I enjoy becoming stronger, and I feel proud when expectations are placed upon me. I often, and greatly, think about becoming a formidable martial artist and making a name for myself.”
“…”
“However, when I entered the academy, I saw so many shy and lovely children.”
“What?”
“Like you, Senior.”
“Gasp.”
Rubel took a sharp breath. I laughed out loud. The child’s shy face was so cute, my fingertips tingled.
In any case, their loveliness, innocence, and gentleness once they entered my heart, never left.
I looked at the child’s blushing cheeks for a moment and continued speaking.
“Seeing them whisper their affections and love to each other seemed very beautiful. I was envious too… But I still don’t think I could have that kind of love. Because I…”
I took a sip of tea. After moistening my lips, I chose my words.
“It’s because my heart aged earlier than others. In this life, because I was born that way.”
“…”
“By chance, I learned that two men I knew were passionately in love. I was surprised. Even though it was none of my business and I didn’t need to consider it… I was confused.”
“…”
“It was because I didn’t know, and it was unfamiliar. Like a beast seeing fire for the first time and leaping away…”
“…”
“But I heard that some birds start forest fires to catch prey. I learned that if you know the origin of that fire, there’s no need to fear it. Seeing their confident demeanor, it wasn’t something to be ashamed of.”
“…What is?”
“Loving someone for who they are, regardless of their gender.”
Rubel held his teacup with both hands and held his breath. I looked directly into the child’s dark eyes. A bright spark of intelligence was visible in them.
I was sharing fragments of my realization with the child. I felt a sense of fulfillment. I smiled again.
“It seems like something to be envious of, too.”
I noticed the cookie plate was empty.
As my hand fumbled for the empty plate, Rubel carefully offered a cookie he had taken a bite of but not touched further.
Knowing the child had hesitated, I accepted it without showing any reluctance and took a bite. Sharing food was familiar from my previous life when I was starving.
“There are still things I cannot accept with my heart.”
“…What things, though?”
“Well… like showing intimate contact to others. I still consider such things shameful and taboo. But I heard that’s also their circumstance… so I suppose I must change my thinking.”
Rubel became quiet again, lost in thought. It felt refreshing to have spoken my mind.
It was like how explaining things out loud to another child helped me organize my thoughts better when studying for exams.
After talking, I felt embarrassed that I had made such a fuss over something so trivial.
I spoke in a calm voice.
“If there’s anything I can do to help, I will, and if there’s a situation where I should step away, I will leave without comment. However, if there is any kind of unjust act… then I would feel compelled to interfere.”
“Any kind of act…?”
“I don’t know myself yet. It’s just vague.”
“…”
The child was silent. After three breaths, they whispered.
“…I like this Young Master Ernhardt.”
“I like you quite a lot too, Senior.”
So there was nothing to worry about, I reassured the child.
The child quietly finished their tea and said they were going to bed. Just as my heart felt relieved, I hoped the child’s heart would also feel a little lighter.
I escorted Rubel to the dormitory door.
That’s right. If I thought about it step by step, there was nothing incomprehensible.
I had simply learned that Walter was a young child burning with affection.
Professor Calypse Agrigent was an adult who, by all appearances, was excellent and trustworthy. It was not strange at all that a child with a complicated family history would be captivated by his gentle gaze.
Therefore, I intended to find an opportunity to speak with Professor Calypse Agrigent alone. When an adult and a child meet, it is natural for the adult to do most of the thinking and worrying.
While I believed Calypse, whom I knew, would give a just answer, the reason I felt like intervening in their affairs was, after all, due to the mark on his neck.
Every time I recalled the fierce bite marks on the professor’s slender neck, I felt troubled.
Does being older always mean being strong?
I was worried about both Walter and Calypse.
If Walter was forcibly overpowering Calypse, I could help with my own strength. Conversely, if Calypse was playing with Walter, I could gently persuade him to stop.
Wasn’t it not much different from the cases of Danbi or Marianne?
A relationship recognized by peers and those around you was a safe path.
On the other hand, what about Walter and Calypse?
I hoped they, standing on a precarious path, would not get hurt. I couldn’t forget Walter’s fiercely contorted face and the voice that growled as if his insides were tearing.
It was common for someone good to me to be bad to someone else. People always had many faces.
I understood that love was an important, very important matter to Sierren’s people, but I didn’t think one needed to accept even the wounds inflicted by a soulmate sweetly.
A sigh escaped me naturally.
❖ ❖ ❖
The Saturday of the first week of the new semester.
My uniform had become tight because I had grown so much that I had my measurements taken again right before the semester began.
I had deliberately requested that the new uniform be made with extra room, so the shirt of the newly received uniform was loose on Saturday morning.
With the pant hems pinned up and the jacket on, it was much easier to move. Satisfied, I nodded to myself.
I headed to the library with my study materials.
Rubel, who was waiting for me in our usual spot, stared intently without greeting me. When I asked why, he shook his head, looking suspicious.
For some reason, I was curious and puzzled, so I urged him to answer.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No, …well. You got a new uniform.”
“Yes.”
“It suits you…”
“The ones you and I have are identical. You’re talking nonsense.”
Still, I couldn’t help but smile at the flattery. I smiled briefly and opened my book.
I reread what I had learned last week and previewed what I would learn next week.
Even if I couldn’t memorize all the unfamiliar sentences immediately, I knew that after reading them carefully several times, they would eventually enter my mind.
While studying, I had a meal with Rubel, did some light sparring for digestion, and then parted ways after more studying.
Sunday was the same. In between, I happened to meet Shayden, who looked worried about me. When I asked why, I couldn’t get an answer.
I suddenly thought that I should mention to Shayden the rumor that the Duke Valentia Family also supports the Second Prince.
I wanted to help everyone around me live peacefully and happily, achieving everything they desired.
I was wishing for things I couldn’t achieve in my previous life.
Unconsciously, my stomach churned. I quickly shook off the thought.
It was fortunate that Rubel was there, able to receive my sword strikes even when I swung with all my might. Not wanting to hold back kind words, I told him for a long time how fortunate and grateful I was to have him.
Rubel just nodded shyly. I habitually reached out and stroked his hair. The texture of his hair was so soft that it felt good every time I stroked it.
The troubled feeling in my stomach warmed up.
If the child had come to like me because of my swordsmanship, then the path I was currently walking must be the right one.
The desire to become someone who could stand before this child suddenly sprouted. In a corner of my heart, a bright blue sprout lifted its head, announcing its presence.
Let’s take it step by step. Maelo Sanson’s voice lingered in my ears.
Yes, I needed to clear away the stones in front of me, one by one.